Why do I go to extremes?

Im_NotPerfect
Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
in Motivation and Support
And I'm not pulling that line out of a Billy Joel song (am I dating myself there??).

When I'm really on the wagon, I'm eating good, exercising, feeling good. But then I start thinking about how "If I can get a walk in today, that's even MORE exercise! Cool!" So then I start trying to do that EVERY day. And then I skip a planned snack and save those calories and I think "Cool! Saved more calories!". So I try to do that EVERY day. And then it's just a viscious cycle.

And then when I'm NOT on the wagon, I don't exercise for days, I eat like crap (Hello...4 chocolate chip cookies so far today...), and generally don't care. No motivation, no reminders of how far I've come, etc.

WHY can't I find a happy medium?? And how do I get myself back into the groove of things??

Replies

  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    Anyone have any ideas??
  • kcashwheeler
    kcashwheeler Posts: 23 Member
    I don't have any real good advice, but I know where you are coming from... I'm either all or none. This is one of the main things I am trying to change about myself. There has to be a good balance. I don't usually go off of my correct course of eating until I'm at my goal weight and this time I plan to learn that balance so when I reach my goal I don't let myself induldge much becuase I will fall back in to that viscious circle. I am just re-learning how to eat and I try not to focus on over doing things like you said...just because you have one amazing day doesn't mean you have to hold yourself to those higher standards every other day after that. Celebrate it as a victory and start fresh the next day. That's what I have to tell myself all the time. Otherwise I'll try to do too much and my standards will become unrealistic and I will fail. Good Luck!!
  • debbysatit
    debbysatit Posts: 125 Member
    I can relate. I have been so off the wagon and have been trying to get back at it today. I tend to log everything, exercise, plan meals and buy foods that are on track when I am in the zone. Then go off track and go crazy with food and drop everything. I think this is a one meal, one day at a time journey. And as someone said on MFP "you only fail when you quit" So as long as we keep trying and don't give up we will get there. This week I am trying to add one thing...increasing my water intake. And if I do the rest ok good, if I exercise even better but if all I do this week is increase my water I will have done more than I have the past several weeks.
  • debbysatit
    debbysatit Posts: 125 Member
    P.S. If you want to try to motivate each other feel free to add me as a friend.
  • honeymoonpress
    honeymoonpress Posts: 11 Member
    I feel the same way. Before I was married I worked out every morning for an hour, ate right all day and drank water. Now I have a desk job and it's a miracle to get a walk in after work. Routine has a lot to do with it for me. You just have to find that routine that you can abide by. Having supportive folks around you is key too. My husband finds it extremely upsetting to know that I have to watch what I eat because it will effect his dining choices at home. Unless you are surrounded by support and encouragement and also a good routine... it's so easy to get knocked off your path. I am struggling with it now more than ever. Good luck and keep trying.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Maybe it's a personality thing. I'm the same way.
  • mici0427
    mici0427 Posts: 54
    Do you give yourself a "cheat day"? I find I stick to my diet better if I give myself one day a week to eat what I want to before heading back into the grind. My day is Saturday so I can spend it with my kids but come Sunday morning I'm back at it!:-) I also use pictures and follow my weight and inches so I can tell what I'm doing is actually working! Good luck to you and keep on trying!!!
    You can do it!:-)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,393 Member
    I used to be an extreme "All or nothing" person. I've mellowed. No one can stay that vigilant forever :laugh:

    Here's a cool post: it's kind of a wall of text, so I didn't want to copy/paste it on your thread.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/39177-nobody-s-perfect
  • SnazzyTraveller
    SnazzyTraveller Posts: 457 Member
    im the same... someone said it was a type A personalilty thing:ohwell:

    the problem is that its all in my head....

    ill let u know when i find a cure.
  • jpe71
    jpe71 Posts: 50 Member
    I've found that for me, I go to extremes when I am being to hard on myself. I'm doing good, so I have to do better, then I have to be perfect and overachieving. I do better when I can remember to forgive myself for not being perfect. I aim for better than last year - a goal I can hit pretty consistently. Then I aim for better than last month, on average, with some wiggle room to forgive day to day transgressions. I still sometimes forget, and experience shame for failing spectacularly, but mostly if I take out self flagellation (always substituting another, healthier exercise) I can get over the bad patches quicker, and back on track.
  • gracieabem
    gracieabem Posts: 211
    Well, I almost had a meltdown this morning because my parents and I swapped cars and I couldn't lock the car at the gym, so I didn't go. Drove there, but left. I was probably disproportionally upset, but I'm so time-strapped that 5am this morning was it.
  • runningfromzombies
    runningfromzombies Posts: 386 Member
    I have that issue, too. I recently decided to do the following--I'm allowed to have sweets, but in moderation, and I had to create an actual limit, not just the ambiguous "in moderation" guideline. So, I give myself 600 calories a week for things like dessert and chocolate. The caveat is that I can use them whenever I want, but it must not exceed my calorie goal on any given day. It's worked well so far!
  • silkysly
    silkysly Posts: 701 Member
    I really don’t know. I just live by the runner’s code: If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If it isn’t, you will find an excuse.
  • 000WhiteRose000
    000WhiteRose000 Posts: 266 Member
    Sometimes it takes years to find that spot where you are happy. But if you keep at it, you will find it.
    I believe that it comes from a place of insecurity with a mixture of self-loathing. So you sabotage your good efforts and you don't believe that you deserve to be happy, or healthy. You don't believe you can succeed.
    I have been on this rollercoaster for years, and the only thing that has kept me on track for 4 steady months now is exercise. And not any exercise, but structured exercise. I am doing TurboFire and because I know I have a goal of how many classes I need to complete each week and when I start and when I finish, that keeps me on track. And when I work out hard I find it hard to eat crap because you don't want to undo the hard work.
    It's hard but you will find your way.
  • sam363
    sam363 Posts: 204 Member
    The best advice I have ever heard: Do what you can today. If you only have today, how can you make it the best? Start every morning refreshed and with new energy.

    It takes time to find balance but it really is a one day at a time journey.
  • Abbiebabby
    Abbiebabby Posts: 18
    I'm exactly the same. I'm trying to tame this now. I'm trying to turn things into habits by changing things one at a time for 3 weeks. My change last week was to go to the gym at least 3 times a week, I was motivated so I went 5 times but I know in the future I'm not going to be this motivated. For the next two weeks I'm going to stick to this goal but I'm not going to change my other bad habits at the same time. After that when I get into a routine I'll try to take out chocolate and maybe only eat it once a week. I think coming on here for support even if you didn't exercise or ate bad will help. Just don't do it the next day. I try to think I ate one biscuit today, that's better than before because I would have eaten 5 and just progress on that.

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