Please help me! BMR related, I am so freaked out :(

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Jessi__
Jessi__ Posts: 31
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone... I've never posted here before but everyone on MFP seems so nice so hopefully it'll be ok!

NOTE: This has turned into a bit of an essay, sorry! If you could please stick with me I'd be eternally grateful :)

A bit of backstory (this is just so you can understand my feelings here):
I used to suffer from an eating disorder. My version of recovery (without any help thanks to a bloody stupid GP!) ended up being removing any restrictions from myself because, honestly, I was so scared that I was going to die, so effectively moved from anoretic behaviours right to binge eating disorder overnight. This has put me in the position of being overweight (4 years after starting 'recovery'), and as you can probably imagine I'm having a hard time of it. I have gotten the binging under control, and try to eat a healthy diet, but just cannot seem to lose any weight at all :(

I don't know how to lose weight without slipping back into behaviours that will make me ill again. I don't want to be ill again. I input my data into MFP and it churned out the standard recommendation of 1200cals a day. I have been eating that. Some days panic takes over and it's closer to 900. Then the next day I panic about that and eat 1800. But most of the time I manage 1200.

I am constantly hungry. It sucks.

So, THIS is the point of my ramble (sorry!): Yesterday I read on here about BMR and TDEE.

My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951
(if I set it as sedentary - I have a desk job - with the aim to eat my exercise cals).

I don't know how to eat 1626 calories a day without panicking. Just the thought of it now makes me want to burst into tears because I literally CANNOT compute that that will make me lose weight. The thought of eating that amount every day just starts this internal monologue of "Oh god oh god oh god I'm going to get even fatter I'm never going to lose weight oh god PANIC".

So basically... can someone please reassure me here? Hearing from people who eat at or above their BMRs and are still losing weight or have lost a decent amount of weight would be so good for me right now. I wish I wasn't so messed up that this is a problem, but it is, and I'm aking for your help so that I can push myself to eat my BMR and be okay with it, and secure that I WILL lose weight doing so.

Are you losing weight by eating your BMR or above?
How much/how fast?
What is your BMR?

P.S. I understand that there is no logic behind any of my worrying, but I can't control it, sorry for being so pathetic :(
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Replies

  • Jenjaz1910
    Jenjaz1910 Posts: 447 Member
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    Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx
  • fontinathefox
    fontinathefox Posts: 124 Member
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    I can't really give any advice about the BMR because I don't know enough. However, I do know people who have had eating disorders and I just wanted to say that you are NOT pathetic at all xxx
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx

    I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with :) I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! :) xx
    I can't really give any advice about the BMR because I don't know enough. However, I do know people who have had eating disorders and I just wanted to say that you are NOT pathetic at all xxx

    Thank you so much, it's so nice to hear that from someone I don't know :) xxx
  • ladyraven68
    ladyraven68 Posts: 2,003 Member
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    Plenty of people here -

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/395881-people-who-lost-weight-eating-more?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/506349-women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day

    and a whole group of them here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less
  • GotEffingFat
    GotEffingFat Posts: 5 Member
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    I wish I could help hun, I know what its like, I struggle to even hit the 900 and still gaining weight after so many years of obsessing with not exceeding 1200kJ a day(according to calorie converter thats about 286 calories lol) the body just grabs any extra calories and holds them. Apparently it takes a while for your body to adjust to eating healthily and your weight evens out but meanwhile gaining weight when thats the thing you fear most in the world is horrible :( But then don't let it do to you what its done to me, I'm only 30 and I have the body of a 90 year old! Skin has zero elasticity, lost several teeth and several more need to go and I have this disgusting saggy skin that I got when I had my children because my skin had no elasticity and just stayed stretched. Please, please use my horrible example as motivation!! Its the hardest thing ever but I've given up 21 years of my life and every year that goes by I get a little more protective of my ED, its more and more my security blanket everyday and more and more my enemy every day. Definitely feel free to chat to me anytime, because I know exactly what its like and I'm sure we can do this!!
  • Emagali74
    Emagali74 Posts: 132 Member
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    I have lost 75 pounds.... I have always always ate back all or most of my exercise calories-so I net 1200-its very very rare that I go under 1200 and these days I'm maintaining and at weekends eat more than my naintenance calories and I am maintaining well.
    My BMR IS 1297 or something and 95% of the time I eat more than that a day.
    Even when I started my 17 day diet and foods were restricted (or carbs rather) I tried to eat more than 1200 ner per day otherwise it would actually stall me out. Protein shakes are good. Also minced beef, extra virgin olive oil, bananas-still healthy but quite calorific.
    Upping calories really does work- I would pay attention to the MFP numbers-set it at a pound a week no more and importantly in my opinion, eat back your exercise calories. It worked for me. Feel free to add me as a friend.

    Emma xx
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    I wish I could help hun, I know what its like, I struggle to even hit the 900 and still gaining weight after so many years of obsessing with not exceeding 1200kJ a day(according to calorie converter thats about 286 calories lol) the body just grabs any extra calories and holds them. Apparently it takes a while for your body to adjust to eating healthily and your weight evens out but meanwhile gaining weight when thats the thing you fear most in the world is horrible :( But then don't let it do to you what its done to me, I'm only 30 and I have the body of a 90 year old! Skin has zero elasticity, lost several teeth and several more need to go and I have this disgusting saggy skin that I got when I had my children because my skin had no elasticity and just stayed stretched. Please, please use my horrible example as motivation!! Its the hardest thing ever but I've given up 21 years of my life and every year that goes by I get a little more protective of my ED, its more and more my security blanket everyday and more and more my enemy every day. Definitely feel free to chat to me anytime, because I know exactly what its like and I'm sure we can do this!!

    Thank you <3

    I have added you as a friend after seeing your thread :) x
    I have lost 75 pounds.... I have always always ate back all or most of my exercise calories-so I net 1200-its very very rare that I go under 1200 and these days I'm maintaining and at weekends eat more than my naintenance calories and I am maintaining well.

    Thank you Emma! You're a great example :) I eat a lot of hummus for protein (I love it!), and after what you've said am going to try adding protein shakes to the mix :) thanks again! xxx
  • Emagali74
    Emagali74 Posts: 132 Member
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    Sorry I just read you were a vegan.... not the minced beef then obviously.

    I can only tell you that whenever I upped my calories it has not made me put weight on.... it has kick started weight loss. I have plateaued out but never put it on.

    Emma x
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    Plenty of people here -

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/395881-people-who-lost-weight-eating-more?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/506349-women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day

    and a whole group of them here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less

    Wow, thank you!!
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    Sorry I just read you were a vegan.... not the minced beef then obviously.

    I can only tell you that whenever I upped my calories it has not made me put weight on.... it has kick started weight loss. I have plateaued out but never put it on.

    Emma x

    Hehe, that's ok :) I'm gonna do protein shakes! Seriously, thanks for your response, it was really helpful :) x
  • wohwy
    wohwy Posts: 22
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    Hi!

    I thought I'd share my experience with upping my calories to above my BMR to help you. Although, I'm pretty much still a newbie around here.

    I've been on MFP for a month now and I also started with 1200 calories/day with a goal of losing 1 pound a week. On the first two weeks, I lost 2 pounds on schedule. But on the third week, I hit a stall. After reading a ton of posts from people who upped their calories and were still successful at losing weight, I decided to give it a try.

    My BMR is 1350 and TDEE is 1690 (at sedentary). At first, I wasn't so sure on how much I would up my calories. I eventually decided to have MFP compute it for me by changing my goal to losing 0.5 pound a week, which gave me 1440 calories/day (above my BMR yet below my TDEE).

    I'm very happy to say I've lost an additional 3 pounds since I upped my calories about 2 weeks ago. I also eat back most of my exercise calories, which are calculated by MFP (according to most people here, MFP gives a higher calorie burn so I make some allowances so I don't go over my calorie goal).

    Sorry if this was pretty long, but I hope it helps :)
  • ladyraven68
    ladyraven68 Posts: 2,003 Member
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    Plenty of people here -

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/395881-people-who-lost-weight-eating-more?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/506349-women-who-eat-more-than-1800-calories-a-day

    and a whole group of them here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less

    Wow, thank you!!

    you are very welcome. Hope it will give you some comfort.

    For info, my BMR is around 1400, my TDEE is 2000 and I am losing at 1600 per day.
  • Goldenbast
    Goldenbast Posts: 227 Member
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    I eat above my calories, in fact I basically calorie cycle and have cheat days (the version I follow is called Spike) but I eat between 1500-2000 calories 7 days a week and DOUBLE my BMR to 4000 on day 8 (the traditional method has you doing 6 days then 7th day Spike). I also work out 30 min walk/run or bike 3 days and 15 min of strength training 3 days (with 2 complete rest days). So far I have gone from 293 lbs to 281so it is working for me.

    There is a few groups you can go and read the posts, join if you want (I did):

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/33-spike-84

    I would say just take a deep breath and try it....you will never know if you don't try!
  • LondonEliza
    LondonEliza Posts: 456 Member
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    First of all, you are not pathetic, you are doing the grown up, sensible thing and saying; I need help. Well done.
    The problem with a lot of people's eating patterns is their unwillingness to say, 'I need advice here, what is the right thing to do'. So you are to be commended for that.

    I got a recommendation to eat 1280 from MFP also which is what I do. I also eat my exercise cals. Yesterday, I knew I would be having friends around for a few glasses of wine so I spent a long time on the exercise bike and did a cleaning marathon to bank some calories in preparation for that. This has been my pattern for the last 5 weeks on the site, bank in advance (or sometimes after)

    Week1- lost 2lbs
    Week2- lost 2lbs
    Wk3 - same
    Wk4 - same
    Wk5 - lost 3lbs

    Most days I exercise about 700-900 cals and eat about 2000 cals and I am consistently losing weight. I find it a challenge to add the cals because I am a vegetarian so unless I am careful, all my choices for higher cals are carb-rich foods.

    To make up calories quickly I use these foods:
    100g of pasta comes in around the 400 cals mark
    2 slices of bread are about 200 cals
    100g of cheese is about 300 cals
    10g of peanut butter is about 60 cals
    12oz of orange juice is about 200 cals
    100oz of baked salmon is about 100 cals

    Of course these all depend on brand but you get the general idea.

    The thing is there is no magic formula that will lose you the weight. I have seen people who say that they need to be 100 cals under / over what the site recommends, so if something is not working for you, modify in either direction for a month and see how that works for you.

    The thing is to stay consistant, watch your diet, realise what does not work for you, get to the point where you know what does and most importantly, don't give up.

    Best of luck!
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    Thank you for this :) you've helped me feel a ton better! (And thanks for your first paragraph in particular!)

    I'm going to make a list of really helthy but high calories foods (like nuts/seeds/avocado etc) so I can feel okay about eating them :) fingers crossed it'll all work out...
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
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    "My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951"

    It is important to realise that these are estimates based on the information you provided.

    If you are dieting your BMR reduces as your weight comes down and the thermic effect of food is reduced.
    I don't lose weight at around 1200 calories, so I eat less. I did a couple of weeks at 800 controlling my protein at 70-80g or so.

    As you're vegan I won't suggest what to eat as your choices are limited and incompatible with mine :-)
  • Jenjaz1910
    Jenjaz1910 Posts: 447 Member
    Options
    Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx

    I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with :) I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! :) xx


    You want slow and steady weight loss, so just slowly up your cals, a protein shake would be good, Good Luck hun xx
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
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    "My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951"

    It is important to realise that these are estimates based on the information you provided.

    If you are dieting your BMR reduces as your weight comes down and the thermic effect of food is reduced.
    I don't lose weight at around 1200 calories, so I eat less. I did a couple of weeks at 800 controlling my protein at 70-80g or so.

    As you're vegan I won't suggest what to eat as your choices are limited and incompatible with mine :-)

    Yes, my choices are incompatible with yours. I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but telling an eating disordered person in recovery that you need to eat 800cals a day to lose weight is the OPPOSITE of helpful.

    I won't say any more because I don't want to get angry as I understand that you were trying to help, but you should seriously have a think about the possible consequences of your words. I am strong enough (just) to disregard them in the understanding that
    a) they don't apply to me and
    b) you're going against the whole BMR principle in the first place.
  • Jessi__
    Jessi__ Posts: 31
    Options
    Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx

    I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with :) I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! :) xx


    You want slow and steady weight loss, so just slowly up your cals, a protein shake would be good, Good Luck hun xx

    Thank you! :) xx
  • MrsLong1980
    MrsLong1980 Posts: 181 Member
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    *waves* hello :) I've just started upping my calories after reading about the TDEE / BMR thing - I've gone up from 1390 net to 1700 net. So I don't confuse myself I have changed my diary details to show a goal of 1700 and log my exercise calories as 1 calorie so I don't think I have more to eat than I actually do. If that makes sense. In the last week I've lost 0.6kgs, which is just over 1lb and MFP calculated that on 1700 I should only be losing 0.4lbs so ... :) But, I'm only on the 1st week. Protein shakes and smoothies definitely help with getting your calories up without feeling worried about eating too much. and if you make smoothies you can load them with fruit and get plenty of vitamins too - BONUS! I made a fantastic chocolate (protein powder), banana and peanut butter smoothie a couple of nights ago. My diary is open if you want to have a look and / or add me! :)

    If you've read the same one I did the ladies on there are fantastic for advice on how to up your calories :) I've linked below the one I read
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/512956-tdee-what-is-it-and-why-you-should-not-eat-below-your-bmr

    I would also suggest the key is to be true to yourself so if you're actually working out, which I assume you are since you were talking about jogging you shouldn't set your activity level to sendantery but to lighly active. You have to be honest to do it right, and I'm sure you want to do it right :)

    Like others have suggested maybe upping your calories slowly, by a hundred a day might help you come to terms with it. From what I gather if you do the calculations and get your TDEE you shouldn't have to worry about eating back calories and such because these calories are already factored into the equation

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