Please help me! BMR related, I am so freaked out :(
Jessi__
Posts: 31
Hi everyone... I've never posted here before but everyone on MFP seems so nice so hopefully it'll be ok!
NOTE: This has turned into a bit of an essay, sorry! If you could please stick with me I'd be eternally grateful
A bit of backstory (this is just so you can understand my feelings here):
I used to suffer from an eating disorder. My version of recovery (without any help thanks to a bloody stupid GP!) ended up being removing any restrictions from myself because, honestly, I was so scared that I was going to die, so effectively moved from anoretic behaviours right to binge eating disorder overnight. This has put me in the position of being overweight (4 years after starting 'recovery'), and as you can probably imagine I'm having a hard time of it. I have gotten the binging under control, and try to eat a healthy diet, but just cannot seem to lose any weight at all
I don't know how to lose weight without slipping back into behaviours that will make me ill again. I don't want to be ill again. I input my data into MFP and it churned out the standard recommendation of 1200cals a day. I have been eating that. Some days panic takes over and it's closer to 900. Then the next day I panic about that and eat 1800. But most of the time I manage 1200.
I am constantly hungry. It sucks.
So, THIS is the point of my ramble (sorry!): Yesterday I read on here about BMR and TDEE.
My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951
(if I set it as sedentary - I have a desk job - with the aim to eat my exercise cals).
I don't know how to eat 1626 calories a day without panicking. Just the thought of it now makes me want to burst into tears because I literally CANNOT compute that that will make me lose weight. The thought of eating that amount every day just starts this internal monologue of "Oh god oh god oh god I'm going to get even fatter I'm never going to lose weight oh god PANIC".
So basically... can someone please reassure me here? Hearing from people who eat at or above their BMRs and are still losing weight or have lost a decent amount of weight would be so good for me right now. I wish I wasn't so messed up that this is a problem, but it is, and I'm aking for your help so that I can push myself to eat my BMR and be okay with it, and secure that I WILL lose weight doing so.
Are you losing weight by eating your BMR or above?
How much/how fast?
What is your BMR?
P.S. I understand that there is no logic behind any of my worrying, but I can't control it, sorry for being so pathetic
NOTE: This has turned into a bit of an essay, sorry! If you could please stick with me I'd be eternally grateful
A bit of backstory (this is just so you can understand my feelings here):
I used to suffer from an eating disorder. My version of recovery (without any help thanks to a bloody stupid GP!) ended up being removing any restrictions from myself because, honestly, I was so scared that I was going to die, so effectively moved from anoretic behaviours right to binge eating disorder overnight. This has put me in the position of being overweight (4 years after starting 'recovery'), and as you can probably imagine I'm having a hard time of it. I have gotten the binging under control, and try to eat a healthy diet, but just cannot seem to lose any weight at all
I don't know how to lose weight without slipping back into behaviours that will make me ill again. I don't want to be ill again. I input my data into MFP and it churned out the standard recommendation of 1200cals a day. I have been eating that. Some days panic takes over and it's closer to 900. Then the next day I panic about that and eat 1800. But most of the time I manage 1200.
I am constantly hungry. It sucks.
So, THIS is the point of my ramble (sorry!): Yesterday I read on here about BMR and TDEE.
My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951
(if I set it as sedentary - I have a desk job - with the aim to eat my exercise cals).
I don't know how to eat 1626 calories a day without panicking. Just the thought of it now makes me want to burst into tears because I literally CANNOT compute that that will make me lose weight. The thought of eating that amount every day just starts this internal monologue of "Oh god oh god oh god I'm going to get even fatter I'm never going to lose weight oh god PANIC".
So basically... can someone please reassure me here? Hearing from people who eat at or above their BMRs and are still losing weight or have lost a decent amount of weight would be so good for me right now. I wish I wasn't so messed up that this is a problem, but it is, and I'm aking for your help so that I can push myself to eat my BMR and be okay with it, and secure that I WILL lose weight doing so.
Are you losing weight by eating your BMR or above?
How much/how fast?
What is your BMR?
P.S. I understand that there is no logic behind any of my worrying, but I can't control it, sorry for being so pathetic
0
Replies
-
Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx0
-
I can't really give any advice about the BMR because I don't know enough. However, I do know people who have had eating disorders and I just wanted to say that you are NOT pathetic at all xxx0
-
Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx
I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! xxI can't really give any advice about the BMR because I don't know enough. However, I do know people who have had eating disorders and I just wanted to say that you are NOT pathetic at all xxx
Thank you so much, it's so nice to hear that from someone I don't know xxx 0 -
-
I wish I could help hun, I know what its like, I struggle to even hit the 900 and still gaining weight after so many years of obsessing with not exceeding 1200kJ a day(according to calorie converter thats about 286 calories lol) the body just grabs any extra calories and holds them. Apparently it takes a while for your body to adjust to eating healthily and your weight evens out but meanwhile gaining weight when thats the thing you fear most in the world is horrible But then don't let it do to you what its done to me, I'm only 30 and I have the body of a 90 year old! Skin has zero elasticity, lost several teeth and several more need to go and I have this disgusting saggy skin that I got when I had my children because my skin had no elasticity and just stayed stretched. Please, please use my horrible example as motivation!! Its the hardest thing ever but I've given up 21 years of my life and every year that goes by I get a little more protective of my ED, its more and more my security blanket everyday and more and more my enemy every day. Definitely feel free to chat to me anytime, because I know exactly what its like and I'm sure we can do this!! 0
-
I have lost 75 pounds.... I have always always ate back all or most of my exercise calories-so I net 1200-its very very rare that I go under 1200 and these days I'm maintaining and at weekends eat more than my naintenance calories and I am maintaining well.
My BMR IS 1297 or something and 95% of the time I eat more than that a day.
Even when I started my 17 day diet and foods were restricted (or carbs rather) I tried to eat more than 1200 ner per day otherwise it would actually stall me out. Protein shakes are good. Also minced beef, extra virgin olive oil, bananas-still healthy but quite calorific.
Upping calories really does work- I would pay attention to the MFP numbers-set it at a pound a week no more and importantly in my opinion, eat back your exercise calories. It worked for me. Feel free to add me as a friend.
Emma xx0 -
I wish I could help hun, I know what its like, I struggle to even hit the 900 and still gaining weight after so many years of obsessing with not exceeding 1200kJ a day(according to calorie converter thats about 286 calories lol) the body just grabs any extra calories and holds them. Apparently it takes a while for your body to adjust to eating healthily and your weight evens out but meanwhile gaining weight when thats the thing you fear most in the world is horrible But then don't let it do to you what its done to me, I'm only 30 and I have the body of a 90 year old! Skin has zero elasticity, lost several teeth and several more need to go and I have this disgusting saggy skin that I got when I had my children because my skin had no elasticity and just stayed stretched. Please, please use my horrible example as motivation!! Its the hardest thing ever but I've given up 21 years of my life and every year that goes by I get a little more protective of my ED, its more and more my security blanket everyday and more and more my enemy every day. Definitely feel free to chat to me anytime, because I know exactly what its like and I'm sure we can do this!!
Thank you
I have added you as a friend after seeing your thread xI have lost 75 pounds.... I have always always ate back all or most of my exercise calories-so I net 1200-its very very rare that I go under 1200 and these days I'm maintaining and at weekends eat more than my naintenance calories and I am maintaining well.
Thank you Emma! You're a great example I eat a lot of hummus for protein (I love it!), and after what you've said am going to try adding protein shakes to the mix thanks again! xxx 0 -
Sorry I just read you were a vegan.... not the minced beef then obviously.
I can only tell you that whenever I upped my calories it has not made me put weight on.... it has kick started weight loss. I have plateaued out but never put it on.
Emma x0 -
Wow, thank you!!0 -
Sorry I just read you were a vegan.... not the minced beef then obviously.
I can only tell you that whenever I upped my calories it has not made me put weight on.... it has kick started weight loss. I have plateaued out but never put it on.
Emma x
Hehe, that's ok I'm gonna do protein shakes! Seriously, thanks for your response, it was really helpful x 0 -
Hi!
I thought I'd share my experience with upping my calories to above my BMR to help you. Although, I'm pretty much still a newbie around here.
I've been on MFP for a month now and I also started with 1200 calories/day with a goal of losing 1 pound a week. On the first two weeks, I lost 2 pounds on schedule. But on the third week, I hit a stall. After reading a ton of posts from people who upped their calories and were still successful at losing weight, I decided to give it a try.
My BMR is 1350 and TDEE is 1690 (at sedentary). At first, I wasn't so sure on how much I would up my calories. I eventually decided to have MFP compute it for me by changing my goal to losing 0.5 pound a week, which gave me 1440 calories/day (above my BMR yet below my TDEE).
I'm very happy to say I've lost an additional 3 pounds since I upped my calories about 2 weeks ago. I also eat back most of my exercise calories, which are calculated by MFP (according to most people here, MFP gives a higher calorie burn so I make some allowances so I don't go over my calorie goal).
Sorry if this was pretty long, but I hope it helps 0 -
Wow, thank you!!
you are very welcome. Hope it will give you some comfort.
For info, my BMR is around 1400, my TDEE is 2000 and I am losing at 1600 per day.0 -
I eat above my calories, in fact I basically calorie cycle and have cheat days (the version I follow is called Spike) but I eat between 1500-2000 calories 7 days a week and DOUBLE my BMR to 4000 on day 8 (the traditional method has you doing 6 days then 7th day Spike). I also work out 30 min walk/run or bike 3 days and 15 min of strength training 3 days (with 2 complete rest days). So far I have gone from 293 lbs to 281so it is working for me.
There is a few groups you can go and read the posts, join if you want (I did):
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/33-spike-84
I would say just take a deep breath and try it....you will never know if you don't try!0 -
First of all, you are not pathetic, you are doing the grown up, sensible thing and saying; I need help. Well done.
The problem with a lot of people's eating patterns is their unwillingness to say, 'I need advice here, what is the right thing to do'. So you are to be commended for that.
I got a recommendation to eat 1280 from MFP also which is what I do. I also eat my exercise cals. Yesterday, I knew I would be having friends around for a few glasses of wine so I spent a long time on the exercise bike and did a cleaning marathon to bank some calories in preparation for that. This has been my pattern for the last 5 weeks on the site, bank in advance (or sometimes after)
Week1- lost 2lbs
Week2- lost 2lbs
Wk3 - same
Wk4 - same
Wk5 - lost 3lbs
Most days I exercise about 700-900 cals and eat about 2000 cals and I am consistently losing weight. I find it a challenge to add the cals because I am a vegetarian so unless I am careful, all my choices for higher cals are carb-rich foods.
To make up calories quickly I use these foods:
100g of pasta comes in around the 400 cals mark
2 slices of bread are about 200 cals
100g of cheese is about 300 cals
10g of peanut butter is about 60 cals
12oz of orange juice is about 200 cals
100oz of baked salmon is about 100 cals
Of course these all depend on brand but you get the general idea.
The thing is there is no magic formula that will lose you the weight. I have seen people who say that they need to be 100 cals under / over what the site recommends, so if something is not working for you, modify in either direction for a month and see how that works for you.
The thing is to stay consistant, watch your diet, realise what does not work for you, get to the point where you know what does and most importantly, don't give up.
Best of luck!0 -
Thank you for this you've helped me feel a ton better! (And thanks for your first paragraph in particular!)
I'm going to make a list of really helthy but high calories foods (like nuts/seeds/avocado etc) so I can feel okay about eating them fingers crossed it'll all work out... 0 -
"My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951"
It is important to realise that these are estimates based on the information you provided.
If you are dieting your BMR reduces as your weight comes down and the thermic effect of food is reduced.
I don't lose weight at around 1200 calories, so I eat less. I did a couple of weeks at 800 controlling my protein at 70-80g or so.
As you're vegan I won't suggest what to eat as your choices are limited and incompatible with mine :-)0 -
Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx
I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! xx
You want slow and steady weight loss, so just slowly up your cals, a protein shake would be good, Good Luck hun xx0 -
"My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951"
It is important to realise that these are estimates based on the information you provided.
If you are dieting your BMR reduces as your weight comes down and the thermic effect of food is reduced.
I don't lose weight at around 1200 calories, so I eat less. I did a couple of weeks at 800 controlling my protein at 70-80g or so.
As you're vegan I won't suggest what to eat as your choices are limited and incompatible with mine :-)
Yes, my choices are incompatible with yours. I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but telling an eating disordered person in recovery that you need to eat 800cals a day to lose weight is the OPPOSITE of helpful.
I won't say any more because I don't want to get angry as I understand that you were trying to help, but you should seriously have a think about the possible consequences of your words. I am strong enough (just) to disregard them in the understanding that
a) they don't apply to me and
b) you're going against the whole BMR principle in the first place.0 -
Ok start by uping your cals 100 at a time i.e: each week add on 100 more a day until you can eat that amount, try making smoothie's to up your cals, or even a handful or unsalted nuts will up them by 100/150. try 5-6 small meals a day. or do what I do Breakfast of 200-300 cals mid morning snack of 150-200 cals Lunch 300-500 cals mid afternoon snack 150-200, dinner 300-600 drinks during the day (normally tea with skimmed milk ) 150 then if you have anything left over after dinner maybe slice of toast with peanut butter or something like that to get the cals up. I'll sometimes have 4 crispbreads with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham on each or a milky drink xx
I like the idea of upping it slowly, that does seem to make it a little easier to deal with I have thought that maybe a protein shake would be helpful, especially to 'eat back' the calories after a jog? It just seems less scary somehow. And as I'm vegan it's more difficult to get it into my diet... Thank you so much, that's a good starting point! xx
You want slow and steady weight loss, so just slowly up your cals, a protein shake would be good, Good Luck hun xx
Thank you! xx 0 -
*waves* hello I've just started upping my calories after reading about the TDEE / BMR thing - I've gone up from 1390 net to 1700 net. So I don't confuse myself I have changed my diary details to show a goal of 1700 and log my exercise calories as 1 calorie so I don't think I have more to eat than I actually do. If that makes sense. In the last week I've lost 0.6kgs, which is just over 1lb and MFP calculated that on 1700 I should only be losing 0.4lbs so ... But, I'm only on the 1st week. Protein shakes and smoothies definitely help with getting your calories up without feeling worried about eating too much. and if you make smoothies you can load them with fruit and get plenty of vitamins too - BONUS! I made a fantastic chocolate (protein powder), banana and peanut butter smoothie a couple of nights ago. My diary is open if you want to have a look and / or add me!
If you've read the same one I did the ladies on there are fantastic for advice on how to up your calories I've linked below the one I read
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/512956-tdee-what-is-it-and-why-you-should-not-eat-below-your-bmr
I would also suggest the key is to be true to yourself so if you're actually working out, which I assume you are since you were talking about jogging you shouldn't set your activity level to sendantery but to lighly active. You have to be honest to do it right, and I'm sure you want to do it right
Like others have suggested maybe upping your calories slowly, by a hundred a day might help you come to terms with it. From what I gather if you do the calculations and get your TDEE you shouldn't have to worry about eating back calories and such because these calories are already factored into the equation0 -
In my humblest honest opinion, if you have flirted with eating disorders in the past, instead of jumping in to calorie counting you should seek some professional help first. You need to learn how to accept yourself for who you are to help make this long journey easier for you. Counting calories can become sort of an obsession, and if you are someone who suffered from disordered eating, jumping in to this could bring it back. Instead, maybe try just logging for now and making better food choices as well as logging your exercise calories. If you are eating the right food you have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to your calorie amount. I was at a standstill for a while and learned it was because i wasnt eating enough. The idea of eating more freaked me out but as i slowly introduced more food, my body started changing again. Please dont be afraid of food, food is our bodies nourishment and it keeps us alive.
Good luck!0 -
@ Linda - thank you for being concerned about me I have had counselling and extremely limited treatment but honestly feel ready to do this, it's just finding out that I was doing it wrong completely threw me for a loop! I have a great family and wonderful fiancee and friends, who all look out for me and make sure that I'm ok. That's why I asked for help here, too - I want to make sure I stay healthy and do this right! 0
-
I TOTALLY get you here. When I was first trying to lose weight some bad advice from a trainer told me to eat about 600 cals a day. Eventually I ended up eating closer to 300-450. I didnt do it specifically to starve myself but it just kind of happened. Eventually I realized that I was going to need to eat more.... and so I upped my cals slowly (about 150 a week) until I got to about 1100 calories. 10 days ago another trainer told me that I should be eating more than I am to get more protein in my diet. So I now eat 1400 calories a day. Of course everything feels a lot slower.... I am now really working on building some really good muscle and increasing my strength. But even the thought of 1400 calories was a lot. I was SUPER bloated every day too at first... hoping that this doesnt always happen. Anyway I understand where you are at. I never log my exercise personally.... but I do take a protein shake immediately following my workout to help with the repairing of my muscles. I don't log that shake either.
You will be okay. Try not to worry toooo much.0 -
Ya got some great advice all ready...so all I can do is add my two cents.... PROTEIN SHAKES!!!! I couldn't eat back my calories...in my head...it was telling me to cut calories to lose weight. It don't work! I lost lean...I needed to lose FAT. Eating them back and making sure I got the protein numbers up...the weight starts coming off! Gotta feed those muscles! Finally figured that out!0
-
ALSO I am a Vegan as well!! SO here are some foods I use for protein:
Black Beans, Spinach, Non GMO Tofu, Tempeh, Almonds/Nuts/Seeds, Garden of Life Raw Protein Powder, Nutritional Yeast, Sprouts, Asparagus, Kale/other leafy greens, Nut Butters
There ARE some wonderful protein sources out there for vegans and a lot of them use up a lot of your daily cals... especially nuts and nut butters. I am a huge fan of almond butter myself.0 -
@rkorduner & @Laura - thanks guys! I've been doing a bit more reading up while the thread's been running and I'm definitely going to get me some protein shakes
seems like a really good way to get a chunk of my daily cals in a healthy way, especially after a jog! 0 -
ALSO I am a Vegan as well!! SO here are some foods I use for protein:
Black Beans, Spinach, Non GMO Tofu, Tempeh, Almonds/Nuts/Seeds, Garden of Life Raw Protein Powder, Nutritional Yeast, Sprouts, Asparagus, Kale/other leafy greens, Nut Butters
There ARE some wonderful protein sources out there for vegans and a lot of them use up a lot of your daily cals... especially nuts and nut butters. I am a huge fan of almond butter myself.
If I could 'like' this here I would can I add you as a friend?
I use tofu a lot in my evening meals, and sprouts, and am trying to get more spinch into my diet too (especially as I'm already prone to iron defficiency). I can always have a spoon of nut butter if need be 0 -
Well said Jessica and another poster- 800 calories a day is in no way healthy. I cant understand the mentality of anyone who thinks this is ok....0
-
Best advice I can give you, calculate how many calories you need to maintain your current weight (don't include exercise in this). Once you've got this, take off 10/20% and use that on a day to day basis. You should start losing 1lb a week. Get enough protein in you and lots of fruit/veg.
Also, make sure you intake enough fats, from nuts, milk, cheese etc. Dietary fat is completely different from the fat you see on your body and if you want a more detailed explanation then let me know.
Other than that, eat what you want! As long as you hit your calorie target for the day you'll be good to go!0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions