Please help me! BMR related, I am so freaked out :(

In my humblest honest opinion, if you have flirted with eating disorders in the past, instead of jumping in to calorie counting you should seek some professional help first. You need to learn how to accept yourself for who you are to help make this long journey easier for you. Counting calories can become sort of an obsession, and if you are someone who suffered from disordered eating, jumping in to this could bring it back. Instead, maybe try just logging for now and making better food choices as well as logging your exercise calories. If you are eating the right food you have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to your calorie amount. I was at a standstill for a while and learned it was because i wasnt eating enough. The idea of eating more freaked me out but as i slowly introduced more food, my body started changing again. Please dont be afraid of food, food is our bodies nourishment and it keeps us alive.

Good luck!

Ya got some great advice all ready...so all I can do is add my two cents.... PROTEIN SHAKES!!!! I couldn't eat back my calories...in my head...it was telling me to cut calories to lose weight. It don't work! I lost lean...I needed to lose FAT. Eating them back and making sure I got the protein numbers up...the weight starts coming off! Gotta feed those muscles! Finally figured that out!

Well said Jessica and another poster- 800 calories a day is in no way healthy. I cant understand the mentality of anyone who thinks this is ok....

My BMR is 1626 and my TDEE 1951
(if I set it as sedentary - I have a desk job - with the aim to eat my exercise cals).

I don't know how to eat 1626 calories a day without panicking. Just the thought of it now makes me want to burst into tears because I literally CANNOT compute that that will make me lose weight. The thought of eating that amount every day just starts this internal monologue of "Oh god oh god oh god I'm going to get even fatter I'm never going to lose weight oh god PANIC".

So basically... can someone please reassure me here? Hearing from people who eat at or above their BMRs and are still losing weight or have lost a decent amount of weight would be so good for me right now. I wish I wasn't so messed up that this is a problem, but it is, and I'm aking for your help so that I can push myself to eat my BMR and be okay with it, and secure that I WILL lose weight doing so.

Are you losing weight by eating your BMR or above?
How much/how fast?
What is your BMR?

P.S. I understand that there is no logic behind any of my worrying, but I can't control it, sorry for being so pathetic

first of all, you are not pathetic, you are doing amazing just by being on here and trying to get healthy.

you dont say what you weigh, but my BMR is pretty similar @ 1574. My TDEE is around 2358 inc exercise, without exercise its around 2000. I have a desk job but have set as moderately active rather than sedentary, that takes away the hassle of logging exercise cals as exercise is already included. I exercise 5x a week (mainly boxing / swimming / weights), and over the week my burn is around 3000. I eat 1950 but usually come in a little over, so average net cals are around 1600.
I lose an average of 1.5lbs per week doing this (40lbs since October 11). Until January I was eating 1650 / net 1200 and didnt lose any more than i am doing now, due to an injury I had to lay off exercise for a bit and lost 2 or 3lbs a week eating 1650 with no exercise so i decided to stick with that level as net by increasing cals as i added exercise back in. Im very rarely hungry, except coming up to meal times which is perfectly normal!

Ive eaten stupidly low cals in the past and in the end put all the weight back on, eating at a higher cal level makes you feel like you are not 'on a diet' so there is no reason not to stick to it, and you can lose weight more slowly but have less chance of regaining it.

If you are vegan, the best way to get your cals up would be healthy fats like nuts, olive oil, avocado, hummus etc, also protein shakes (ive made some recently with kara coconut milk and they came out pretty tasty!)

You shouldnt feel bad about eating more cals if it is all coming from healthy, nutritious foods. If you're currently eating less than your bmr, increase cals gradually, maybe adding 50 or 100 each week until you get to your goal :-)

Hi Jessica,

I can relate a lot to your post and to be honest, I never thought I would find anybody else who had experienced similar.

Like you, I had an eating disorder (and guess to some extent I still do) but to "recover", I started binging and so I went from being tiny to well, being the size I am now!

It freaks me out everyday to try and get to the calories it tells me to eat on here because I think "How on earth can I eat properly and lose the weight?" - I guess it doesn't make sense to me but I'm gradually learning, from reading other peoples posts mostly and testing it out for myself.

You can do it lovely. I hope you don't mind if I add you as a friend?

Lottie x

There is a lot of good advice in here already, just wanted to offer some support. I also wanted to say not to be afraid of calories or healthy fats, your body needs them. You have to fuel your body to lose weight. I would say 1200 is too low, though you will need to find that level that works for you.

I'm not at all knowledgeable on vegan diets so I'm no help there, but I think a protein shake is a great idea especially for workout days. I think if you stick to healthy, whole foods and make sure you're getting enough protein and dietary fats you'll be on the right track.

I am sorry I didn't get to read everyones response but here is the thing. You will not gain fat if you don't eat more than your TDEE. It is physically impossible. Also, don't be afraid of calories as it helps you burn fat. Too little and you will impede your process.

So here is a response from a 36 year old 5'5" woman who eats 2100 calories on lifting days and 1800 calories on non workout days with Zero cardio.

"I just wanted to thank you for your help. You helped me a few months back and I just wanted to give you an update on my progress. 12 weeks ago I started at 154 and 28% bf. I got my bf remeasured last Friday and it was 24%. But I only lost 1 pound. It is crazy to me but I have learned to ignore the scale. You were right that keeping consistent and not giving up my body would finally adjust.

Thanks again for your help!

Stephanie"


You need to find a way where you can stop worrying about weight and worry about what your body looks like. Take pictures and measurements. Start lifting and do a little cardio and you will see what I posted above. And when you stop putting soo much value on eating too little you might get past it.


So I also did an experiment on a person that is recoverying from and ED/had an unhealthy relationship with food. She only ate 900 calories for years. Now for 1 week I had her eat 1700 calories and she couldn't ask why. All she had to do was lift weights 3 days a week and light cardio for 3 days a week.


After two days, I asked her how things were going and here was her resonse:

"yayyyyyyy thank you for this. idk how my body is going to adjust yet, but i sure as hell feel better mentally. im in a better mood, more nrg like u said, and not freezing all the time anymore "



After a week, here was my question:

"So I quoted this as a starting point. We have already established that you are less irritable and have more energy. Here are some other questions I have for you.


1. Think about your weight lifting, where you lifting more weights this week?
2. Post workout, where you as sore this week as compared to last?
3. Overall, did you feel stronger?
4. Any more observations?

You ate pretty good. The only thing I would switch would be reduce some carbs (maybe 50gs) and add fats.

Lemon "

And here is her response.


"hey! so im def sticking to 1700, thanks so much!

1. yes i was lifting more. i feel strnger and i already see a difference especially in the abdominal region.
2. nope, less sore!
3. yess i feel stronger
4. just overall i feel so much better and i'm very grateful for this!!

yea i do need to limit carbs a bit, yesterday was pretty bad ahaa but thanks so much i do feel kinda water weight-y but it doesn't bother me much. "



You know something, after 2 weeks I spoke with her again and she was upset she was losing weight at 1700 calories. And we had to bump her calories to 2000 so we can work on building muscle. The biggest thing is working on getting out of your own way and keep reading stories of those very successful and see how much they eat.