Please help me! BMR related, I am so freaked out :(

Hi, I'm 64 years old, a just retired RN, have a lot of nutrition knowledge, but am still having problems losing weight. Now to your problem, my BMR is 1139, my calorie goal is 1200. If I eat anywhere near my goal, I not only don't lose, I gain. I used to go to the gym regularly for a low to mod workout, but haven't been there for a month or so. If I can keep my calories around 700 or 800, I will lose. You need to find what # (calories) works for you and try to stay in that range. Good Luck!! With all you've been through, I am confident you can do this!!

Hi, I'm 64 years old, a just retired RN, have a lot of nutrition knowledge, but am still having problems losing weight. Now to your problem, my BMR is 1139, my calorie goal is 1200. If I eat anywhere near my goal, I not only don't lose, I gain. I used to go to the gym regularly for a low to mod workout, but haven't been there for a month or so. If I can keep my calories around 700 or 800, I will lose. You need to find what # (calories) works for you and try to stay in that range. Good Luck!! With all you've been through, I am confident you can do this!!

Have you ever considered it is WHAT you are eating and not how much that causes the gain at 1200? Your BMR is what your body expends were you laying down straight all day long. Example: being in a coma. You really should look at what your TDEE is instead. TDEE stands for total daily energy expenditure. I used to be terrified to eat above my BMR until I realized that eating that much was vital to function. While I respect that you are a retired RN, and probably know something about nutrition, I find that most doctors and nurses don't actually have as much knowledge about nutrition as they should. If you are gaining weight eating 1200 calories a day and not exercising--- what exactly are you eating? Are you eating a ton of processed foods? Sugars? Frozen Dinners? When I was eating 1200 cals a day and exercising every day when I started--- I ate CRAP and I didn't really lose much at all.... now that I eat healthier my body digests my food easier and functions better. AND I've even passed my goal weight by quite a bit. I understand 700-800 cals works for you, but as someone who has been there, I don't recommend it.

I am sorry I didn't get to read everyones response but here is the thing. You will not gain fat if you don't eat more than your TDEE. It is physically impossible. Also, don't be afraid of calories as it helps you burn fat. Too little and you will impede your process.

So here is a response from a 36 year old 5'5" woman who eats 2100 calories on lifting days and 1800 calories on non workout days with Zero cardio.

"I just wanted to thank you for your help. You helped me a few months back and I just wanted to give you an update on my progress. 12 weeks ago I started at 154 and 28% bf. I got my bf remeasured last Friday and it was 24%. But I only lost 1 pound. It is crazy to me but I have learned to ignore the scale. You were right that keeping consistent and not giving up my body would finally adjust.

Thanks again for your help!

Stephanie"


You need to find a way where you can stop worrying about weight and worry about what your body looks like. Take pictures and measurements. Start lifting and do a little cardio and you will see what I posted above. And when you stop putting soo much value on eating too little you might get past it.


So I also did an experiment on a person that is recoverying from and ED/had an unhealthy relationship with food. She only ate 900 calories for years. Now for 1 week I had her eat 1700 calories and she couldn't ask why. All she had to do was lift weights 3 days a week and light cardio for 3 days a week.


After two days, I asked her how things were going and here was her resonse:

"yayyyyyyy thank you for this. idk how my body is going to adjust yet, but i sure as hell feel better mentally. im in a better mood, more nrg like u said, and not freezing all the time anymore "



After a week, here was my question:

"So I quoted this as a starting point. We have already established that you are less irritable and have more energy. Here are some other questions I have for you.


1. Think about your weight lifting, where you lifting more weights this week?
2. Post workout, where you as sore this week as compared to last?
3. Overall, did you feel stronger?
4. Any more observations?

You ate pretty good. The only thing I would switch would be reduce some carbs (maybe 50gs) and add fats.

Lemon "

And here is her response.


"hey! so im def sticking to 1700, thanks so much!

1. yes i was lifting more. i feel strnger and i already see a difference especially in the abdominal region.
2. nope, less sore!
3. yess i feel stronger
4. just overall i feel so much better and i'm very grateful for this!!

yea i do need to limit carbs a bit, yesterday was pretty bad ahaa but thanks so much i do feel kinda water weight-y but it doesn't bother me much. "



You know something, after 2 weeks I spoke with her again and she was upset she was losing weight at 1700 calories. And we had to bump her calories to 2000 so we can work on building muscle. The biggest thing is working on getting out of your own way and keep reading stories of those very successful and see how much they eat.

I love this!!!

You should defintely have a protein shake or something after working out -- your body is so open and hungry for nutrients and protein at that point, it really benefits you! I always have something after a work out.

Also, I eat 1800-2100 calories a day - every day. I have lost 110lbs in a little over a year. I plateaued a couple of times over the past year - and I broke my plateaus by UPPING my calories. it works. It's all about feeding your body properly. My diary is public if you want to see how I eat. Not feeding your body properly is like trying to drive a car without gas in it - it just doesn't work.

@ Linda - thank you for being concerned about me I have had counselling and extremely limited treatment but honestly feel ready to do this, it's just finding out that I was doing it wrong completely threw me for a loop! I have a great family and wonderful fiancee and friends, who all look out for me and make sure that I'm ok. That's why I asked for help here, too - I want to make sure I stay healthy and do this right!

If you're logging your food and exercise, you aren't doing it "wrong", you're very much on the right track. You just need to develop consistency and relax a little about the whole thing. This is a life-changing project, take the time (and be sure to seek the help) you need to get it right. It's also something you are allowed to make mistakes on, as long as you learn from them and don't get hard on yourself about them, and work up a plan to get into a solid, reliable, and stress-free eating pattern.

Your original post asked for reassurance about the site's recommendations. One story does not a valid study make, but here goes:

My goal is to eat the exact calories the site has "prescribed" for me, including my exercise calories. I don't sweat a variance of a couple hundred calories a day either way, low OR high. I'm losing almost precisely the two pounds a week that the site said I'd lose. But the loss is "spikey" (weight goes up and down naturally every day based on the nature of the food I've eaten the previous day and my crappy bathroom scale). The TREND is correct, so I'm happy and I don't stress out about individual days.

Now, as to your specific issue, as much as an amateur Internet stranger can do, here's my advice - take it for what it's worth, which ain't much.

You've been through eating hell. Acknowledge the progress you've made dealing with serious issues. You are a strong, willful individual. Not everyone emerges from what you've been through with such a healthy outlook. Nurture that strong individual so she's ready for the next step.

Concentrate on healthy, unprocessed foods, eat the recommended calories and sources (fats, proteins, carbs) as closely as you can manage without stressing about it, exercise lots and eat those calories, and drink lots of water. Do this consistently. Forgive mistakes. Develop a healthy eating habit, and the rest follows on its own.

It's OK to not take on too much at a time. If you are hungry all the time, you're less likely to stick with this, and you need to develop a healthy relationship with food before you lose weight. If you're finding it overwhelming, take it a step at a time. Change your goal (for the moment) to "maintenance" and learn to live within your "calorie/fat/carb/protein" budget first. Once you're comfortable and have a healthy eating/exercise habit established, set a modest goal (a half pound a week, which is a 250 calorie drop per day). See how that goes for a week or two, then if you start feeling good about that up it to a pound a week.

The weight loss is less important than developing a healthy, enjoyable relationship with food. Don't try to rush this, take it easy and enjoy the process! The benefits will literally last the rest of your life.

Start exploring various foods using the database on this site. Work up a food plan for tomorrow that you think you'll enjoy and that fits within the calories you choose to use (weight loss or maintenance). Stick with the plan, and make this a repeatable process (understanding that things don't always go to plan, so be flexible and forgive yourself the occasional oopsie and move on).

Not eating enough calories can slow your metabolism. Follow the suggested daily calories, consuming healthy calories. Try to stay in the guidelines for the fat, carbs, fiber, etc. Tell yourself you will do it for 2 weeks and see what happens. I think you will become a smiley face. From there, you can go up or down in 100 calorie increments and find the best calorie range for you. Our bodies are all different and metabolize food at a different pace. You need to find what makes your body most efficient. Good luck.

I don't know how to eat 1626 calories a day without panicking. Just the thought of it now makes me want to burst into tears because I literally CANNOT compute that that will make me lose weight. The thought of eating that amount every day just starts this internal monologue of "Oh god oh god oh god I'm going to get even fatter I'm never going to lose weight oh god PANIC".

Results are different for each person. What's worked for me is to treat each change to my diet as an experiment... try it for 2-3 weeks and observe the results (both in weight / inches and in your behavior). With that "try it and see" mindset, you may be less apt to panic and be all over the place before really giving things a chance.

I don't know how often you weigh yourself, but keep in mind that your weight will fluctuate by several pounds all the time, and that's mainly just your level of water retention changing from day to day. Stick with a consistent, small calorie deficit and the weight will come off over time.

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