Fat friends feeding baby junk food

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  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Agree on not saying anything. And bringing food to their house seems a bit odd. How about inviting them and their kids over for dinner and cooking something healthy? The subject might come up naturally. If not no worries -- maybe it will over time.

    Great advice. Make something that you are certain the kid will enjoy too, so when he eats it, you can say " Looks like he really likes this. I'd be glad to give you the recipe." That will at least tactfully open up the topic. But, as others have said, be careful how far you go with the subject. It could cost you a friendship.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    oh i am so guilty, i to have gotten my oldest child happy meals, altho not the pie, or a dessert of any kind, and my husband or usaly have to help her with the burger.....
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    Oh dear.

    This is a touchy subject, I know.

    So I'm fat. Yeah, but I'm also on MFP and busting my butt and eating right now and becoming less fat. And it's really come to bother me that my friends (two couples, both with kids, both sets of them are significantly overweight/obese) feed their kids garbage. And this doesn't seem to be a once-in-a-while thing for at least one set of them, it is like an everyday thing.

    If we go out, they order their 20-month old a Happy Meal/Kid's Meal and a dessert. I have seen him eat an entire hamburger, a side of fries, a juice drink, and half of a McDonald's Pie. REALLY? This seems really excessive.

    If I go over and they're cooking, it's normally something out of a box (Hambuger Helper?) or the freezer (Stouffer's Lasagna/frozen pizza) OR they've gotten take-out.

    As far as I am concerned, as they are adults, they can choose what they eat and if they eat junk and are fat, that's up to them. Of course I hope they'll see that I'm having success and jump on the bandwagon, but ultimately it is THEIR decision. It really bothers me though, that they have weight problems and they are feeding their KID crap and developing HIS palate to like processed junk food which will most likely ultimately lead to HIM having a weight problem. And the icing on the cake is that one of them is pregnant as well and is sucking down diet soda and fast food -- I just don't think that is good for the baby.

    :ohwell: *Sigh*

    Is it overstepping to say something to them about it? I'm just really not sure what is ok and I don't want to cause any hurt feelings but I'm concerned because I don't want their kids to have to go through what I'm doing right now.

    Yes, it's over stepping. I understand your concern, but they are not your children. You wouldn't want someone telling you how to raise your kids right?
  • katgirl985
    katgirl985 Posts: 212 Member
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    Thanks for the feedback guys.

    I realize it isn't really any of my business what they do with their kids, which is why I haven't said anything to them. When I started with this in January we were supposed to be doing a group thing and they were part of it and pretty much never started (even though it was their idea!) and/or have already fallen away from it.

    My parents did they best they could with me but were short on time and/or money and we ate a lot of processed stuff when I was growing up. I was a fat child, and now I'm a fat adult and I grew up with people making fun of me because of my weight and am now having my own issues related to it.

    I appreciate the suggestions about bringing dinner over for them (I DO normally bring my own food or if we eat out suggest a restaurant where I know I can order something healthful) or asking about going to a cooking class together. :smile:
  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
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    let me ask you this would you go to Wal-Mart and tell every big person with kids what to buy? no probably not. for years my family and i ate hamburger helper and processed stuff most people don't have the time or energy to cook these days. or that's the excuse . I would preach it all over the place if i could. what people are doing to themselves and their families is terrible but it's the society we live in and people have to want to change and until they do you can only take care of you and your own. Maybe you can invite them to your house for dinner sometime instead of only eating at their house. I hope your friendship can survive being so judgmental.
  • TriumphNow
    TriumphNow Posts: 526 Member
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    I definitely understand your point. It bothers me to see kids eating junk all the time too because I know firsthand how hard it is to change those habits as an adult. I agree with those above that said you should lead by example. People get very defensive when you try to correct them about their kids. My kids like McDonald's and I keep healthy and not-so-healthy snacks at home. It's all about moderation. Keeping them active in sports or some kind of physical activity is also very important.
  • katgirl985
    katgirl985 Posts: 212 Member
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    Yep, best not to say anything. It's very sad to see...but you personally can't change their habits for them. I have a relative that feeds her kid junk food, sodas, cupcakes for breakfast, etc. Their kid is SO overweight, looks like they might explode out of their skin...and this kid is under 10 yrs old. I feel sorry for the life this kid will have to live and the ridicule from others it will have to endure...unless something changes. All I can do is hope that one day they will have a change of heart and start healthy habits. I think it starts early and you have to start w/ kids when they are very young. My 7 yr. old is always looking for foods that are healthy, and asking for fruits and veggies. One of her favorite foods is broccoli. But it starts at home, and it starts with the parents. It's a very touchy situation indeed, one you can't really do anything about....and it truly is heartbreaking to see.

    This is exactly how I feel. I appreciate you sharing, at least I'm not the only one who feels this way.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Definately overstepping. Do you see what they feed their kids ALL the time? Maybe it's the times you're there that you see it. I let my kids eat McDonald's once in a while too. And we LOVE the Stoffer's Mac and Cheese. If you came over to our house on a bad week, you might see the Stoffer's one night and McD's on the next...that's just because it's a busy week and neither my husband nor I have time to cook. However...the other 90% of the time, my kids get veggies, chicken, steak, etc for dinners. Breakfasts are usually cereal and fresh fruit.

    Don't judge by the occasional meal you see...
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
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    Maybe once they see how you're doing with your lifestyle change, they will want to follow suit, and will come to you for advice!!!
  • OnMyWeigh464
    OnMyWeigh464 Posts: 447 Member
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    Agree with everyone else here. For me, I was that parent that didn't make the best choices for ANYONE...me, my kids, or my husband. Now that I've been on my diet plan faithfully I make good choices, I serve salad or lots of veggies, at every supper. But it took me a long time to get here. I had to be ready to recognise the unhealthy choices I was making for everyone in my life. I had friends and family members say to me that I was not making good choice and I took offense. I know now that they were trying to help but at that time it was hurtful and I was more angry than grateful for the unsolicited advice.
  • mes1119
    mes1119 Posts: 1,082 Member
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    Sadly, there is nothing you can do about it. But I can completely understand how much this probably torments you. I have a serious problem with people that don't teach their children how to live healthy lifestyles. By the time they realize they want to change, it is too late.

    Sometimes education is more important than anything else. Some people honestly don't know how to eat healthy. They think crash diets and diet foods are the way to lose weight. When, in reality, it is very simple. Eat fresh, natural foods and exercise.

    Try your best to ignore it. As much as I am against big government, I have a huge issue with people not treating children correctly. I think it is up to someone higher than us to educate the masses and help people understand how to live a healthy lifestyle.
  • CapsFan17
    CapsFan17 Posts: 198
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    I think the tactful thing to do would be to lead by example! Talk about you- how you're working out and the great healthy stuff your eating and what a difference it's made. Instead of telling them what they are doing wrong- let them be INSPIRED by you!!

    Definitely this.

    And put together some yummy healthy recipies for them with a little note saying how much you enjoyed this dish and had to share it.
  • cbenzerga
    cbenzerga Posts: 65 Member
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    They already know what they are feeding there child is bad, it's all over the news etc. So it's there choice. Don't say anything unless they reach out to you. Yes it sucks. Yes they are being LAZY, and I hate that too, but you can't say anything unless you want to loose some friends in a hurry.
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    Having a 21 month child getting her to eat is not easy! Since they can't verbally communicate what they want to eat its quite difficult. So when she actually consumes food it is a victory healthy or not. I make 5-6 meals/snacks a day for her some of which she eats and some of which gets tossed aside. She eats pretty healthy though, but she will have a happy meal maybe 2-3 times a month and has mac and cheese twice a week.
  • Jessamine
    Jessamine Posts: 226 Member
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    Yes, unfortunately it's none of your business and there's nothing you can do. BUT I understand why you feel the way you do.

    I was asked to babysit a 2- and 4-year-old for 12 hours last Saturday. I searched everywhere for healthy food in their cupboards, and there was none. They had cookies, chips, crackers, hot pockets, corndogs, etc. They DID have milk, cuties, and applesauce, which is a healthier snack than the junk I just mentioned, but it doesn't make a meal. I was there all day and needed to feed them at least three meals.

    I can't tell you how HORRIBLE I felt to serve those little kids corndogs and hotpockets TWICE in one day. I refuse to bring that stuff into my own house. :-(

    I felt like I failed to properly care for them. Serving them something healthy and nutritious is part of being a good childcare provider.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    If it were me I would love to say something but really you can't :( . I waitressed for a while at Friendly's restaurant, and it was absolutely disgusting what people feed their kids (and themselves). But I would have an absolute cow if a waitress or a checkout person at the grocery store commented on what I'm eating, so I don't do it to other people.

    On a positive note, the kid might be OK. My sister REFUSED to eat anything but chicken fingers, french fries and macaroni and cheese when we were kids, and she's perfectly healthy now. She outgrew it eventually.

    Did you know there is a gene that makes people dislike vegetables? It's the "bitter taster" gene and you either have it or you don't. If you have it vegetables taste really bitter, and these are the kids that scrunch their faces up and spit out broccoli. People with this gene eventually develop a taste for vegetables if they make an effort to do so, but its really hard to get kids with this gene to eat balanced.
  • Fitby31
    Fitby31 Posts: 106 Member
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    I agree with you. However, I also agree with everyone else that saying something would only lead to a fight. My husband and I have instilled great food patterns with our daughter (something I am very proud of) and I am so thankful to have a toddler who loves veggies... even broccoli (or "trees"as she calls it)! We do let her indulge in chocolate or ice cream every once in a while...kids need to be able to indulge every once in a while, just like adults do.

    Lead by example. Hopefully they will change their habits before it is too late. There have been several studies done that show that bad eating patterns as a child can lead to obesity, diabetes, etc.

    Same here. I have 2.5yr old who we basically let eat whatever she wants.. we only do that because she really does make good food choices 95% of the time. She'll ask for broccoli & an egg fro breakfast, yogurt & strawberries or ww crackers & cheese for snacks etc. So yeah every once in a while we do let her have candy or a happy meal (which she never finishes).

    This is just my opinion...when I was a child my mother was super health conscious... I was never allowed to eat badly except for at parties or gatherings. To this day I lose self control at a party & once I was old enough to purchase what I wanted I certainly packed on the pounds. I think indulgences are very important for kids / eating patterns. But a 20 month old shouldn't be polishing off a happy meal & dessert.

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