"You need to stop losing weight" ... URGH!!!!!!!!!

Options
124»

Replies

  • ruthanncopeland
    ruthanncopeland Posts: 1
    Options
    Sometimes people say things that come out of their mouths completely differently than how the conversation went in their head. Haven't you all ever done that? Unfortunately I have. Sure, there may be people that are jealous of your success, but many times, people are trying to give compliments and want you to feel good about the weight loss. They are just not very good at it. Seriously, how many people do you know are gonna agree to a comment you make about losing 40 more pounds? You want them to say, "That's what I was thinking. 40 lbs and then you'll look great!" ?? :noway: That would be rude. So, they come up with anything that will make them feel they are supporting you.

    Also, I think people look at those that lose weight with a sense of longing...of strength...and a bit of jealousy. Jealous of the consistancy you have to stay with what you are doing. Some don't know how to start and wish they were more like you. Others think the weight came off like a drop in the bucket and don't understand the commitment and hard work you have put in to get there.

    Hang in there. Don't get down! Your weight loss is amazing!!!! For the most part, people really do mean well. They just don't always know what to say and how to say it.
  • rbear713
    rbear713 Posts: 220 Member
    Options
    First things first - Congrats on not being morbidly obese anymore!! I'm in the same boat (down abt 85 from 297lbs) - feels fantastic, doesn't it?

    As for those who teel you you are too skinny, and tell you to stop - put it in perspective: Your appearance (at least from your photos) appears to have changed DRASTICALLY. When you get skinny(er) from obese, you look so different, people think you look sick - especially if they don't see you for a stretch of time. Don't worry about that!!

    Here's how i deal with people telling me to stop losing weight:

    Since i started dropping weight and using MFP, I have become more in tune with my own body and what is going on it than 98% of the rest of the people on the planet (I'm betting you are too, as well as anyone else who tracks their intake regularly and religiously). I know what my goals are, I know how to achieve them, I know where I want to be - period. No one else can tell me whats good for me and my body at this point - I already know these things! So do you!! You own your body, your health, and your fitness now - Don't heed advice from ignorance!!

    I am SURE your mom cares for you very much - shes your mom after all....but she is ignorant to the fact that you are in complete control of what is happening to you - she has a basic understanding of your journey at best - so why heed her advice? You already know the answer!

    I told my mom recently that although I love her very much, she has no idea about my body and what is going on with my weight loss journey - I am NOT too thin - I just look drastically different to her, and understandably, that is scary to her.

    She asked me the same questions your mom did - When are you going to stop? was the one she repeated abt 5 times.

    My reply was "When my body tells me its time to stop, I'll stop."

    Knowledge is a key factor in success - We, the people of MFP, have an intrinsic knowledge of our bodies - we have to!!

    Dont be discouraged or frustrated by people who tell you to stop - they do so because they are ignorant, and that isn't really their fault. Be comfortable with your body and the knowledge you have gained about yourself during your amazing weight loss journey! Don't ever let anyone take that from you. Keep it up! Your progress is amazing!!
  • andrakierstead
    andrakierstead Posts: 8
    Options
    Unfortunately some people aren't aware of the effect their words have on others. It doesn't sound like your mother is very supportive of your health and weight loss goals either. Keep up the good work and remember you're doing this for yourself and not for approval from your mother. Keep a positive attitude and continue on your journey, after all only you know what's best for you.:smile:
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    Options
    Take it as a compliment! They are saying that you look damn good. I would give this a "oh thanks!" [end of convo] and then keep doing what you do. You know what's best for you and you don't need to explain yourself to anyone.
  • rpantusa
    rpantusa Posts: 267 Member
    Options
    you are doing a wonderful job! Don't listen to anyone that is telling you anything different, you are doing this for you not them! sometimes when people see your success they get jealous because they do not have the willpower to do it for themselves, and they want to rain on your parade. Just keep up the great work! You and only you will know when you are done losing weight. good luck on the rest of your journey! :flowerforyou:
  • BellydanceBliss
    BellydanceBliss Posts: 330
    Options
    i have a hard time talking with my mom about these things too. lol you are not alone.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    Options
    JEALOUSY!!! Don't mind it.
  • FreshKrisKreash
    FreshKrisKreash Posts: 444 Member
    Options
    Eww, yeah. My mom does this too while she eats a whole bag of corn chips. I want to lose another 15 pounds or so but I don't want her to think I'm anorexic or anything. Any tips on hiding my weight loss from my mom?
  • AussieMisfit
    AussieMisfit Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    Take it as a compliment, smile and keep doing what you're doing.
  • Clarimusic00
    Clarimusic00 Posts: 96 Member
    Options
    honest opinion. People are use to you being big they only know you as a bigger person so they feel as though you havent lost 100 they feel you lost 200. its hard for a lot of people to accept someone doing something good for themseleves and actually achiving it with great sucess.
    keep up the awesome work!!!

    I agree with this! My brother used to weigh 300+ pounds (not sure the exact amount). He lost 150 pounds and is now in the 'healthy' category. My family only see each other a couple times a year and whenever he's around they always comment that he's too thin. They are just used to seeing him overweight for 5 or so years. They are also all overweight so they are not used to seeing someone in our family be a healthy weight.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
    Options
    And frankly, I don't KNOW how much more I'll lose - how much more are YOU gonna gain! ??

    some people's children

    *snicker* this just made me smile. Thanks for that! :) So totally true...
  • MsPinVa
    MsPinVa Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    Congradulations! - That should have come from your mother, or "You're doing well!"

    And this, with the feed back of similar stories from people, is why I don't share how much I have lost, and how much I want to lose with anyone other than a few close family members who understand the desire to be smaller and/or healthier.

    People are jealous of health/thinness, including myself. One day, I won't be. :)

    Keep up the great work, everyone!
  • grannygethealthy1111
    grannygethealthy1111 Posts: 422
    Options
    First, congratulations on your weight loss. This is your mother you are talking about, for God's sake. It is her job to worry about you. Give her a hug and tell her that you are under medical supervision, you feel fabulous, and you have not yet met your goal weight. Then change the subject. Simple solution. :drinker:

    11613466.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
  • lindalou4850
    lindalou4850 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    First of all Congratulations on your weight loss!! You are doing great.. I also agree that it is your mothers job to worry about you, but from the sounds of things she doesn't have anything to worry about. I am 61 and I have a 30 yr old daughter. She tells me I look good, BUT I weigh less than her ( only a little) and that upset her for a long time.. (She just had a baby 6 months ago) Now she is finally eating healthy. maybe you could be an inspiration to your mom. You keep doing what you are doing .. maybe the next time your mom asks if you are still loosing weight you should just say " I'm good now!!" You won't be lying, you are good now!!
    You keep up the good work.. and I am glad your husband is supportive!!
  • lnguyen578
    lnguyen578 Posts: 39
    Options
    I can definitely relate! My parents have been going on about how I'm "too skinny," now and have been trying to get me to eat junk food and it's so horrible. The best thing you can do is to know and remind yourself that it's your body and you are the one who's putting the food in your mouth. Just ignore it and move on! ^__^

Categories