How do you handle comments about losing weight?
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Kbritske09
Posts: 31 Member
Wondering how everyone else handles other peoples comments when they are told they are trying to lose weight. I'm 5'7 and am down to 146lbs from 165 at the beginning of this year. I still have 16lbs to reach my goal. It is frustrating when people say I don't need to lose or to stop losing weight. I wear my weight well even at my heaviest. No one knows how someone truly looks underneath their clothing. My best answer I can come up with is it is simply because I want to.
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Replies
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Your goal weight is the same as mine and we're also the same height. I've actually just told them for health reasons and leave it at that. I feel better being a bit lighter than I am currently and have more energy. They tend not to argue too much with it being for health reasons, as opposed to I just want to look better. At least, that's what I've found.0
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I tell people it's about getting healthy. That I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my diet.0
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I just say I'm getting in shape. I never say I'm losing weight because that is probably the smallest part of what I'm doing.0
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From people whom hadn't seen me in a while I got the "are you OK?," "you look skinny!" or "OMG you've lost a lot of weight!" Most felt like compliments but I used to have a pudgy/doughy face and now I have defined cheekbones and jaw. MFP helped me chizzle 67% of my body fat (24 down to 8) and stay strong so it's all been good. I usually take the negative sounding ones in stride and say I've never felt better and 8% body fat is healthy. I know one of those someone thought I had an eating disorder...to her I said: "I've never enjoyed food more in my life than now when every calorie counts for something." I also add that it's been great for my back and energy levels so they come around. With EVERYONE else being positive/supportive, that is the vast majority, they ask how and I tell them about the app and I have even gotten a few onto the calorie-counting bandwagon.
It was funny and frustrating at times that my success really drove my wife a bit nutty...she wasn't mad that I was feeling/looking better, it was that she was worried I had an obsession with counting calories and had taken my weight loss too far...but then it started working for her, too, and I was getting into a routine where the tracking wasn't taking so much time. Now it's mostly "thank you's" and "here's how I did it" that I hand out now. By now I've seen almost everyone who's known the old me...can't wait for beach season!0 -
I have run into the same issue. I am 5' 11" and at my heaviest I was 175 and no one believed that I weighted that much due to how tall I am. I am now down to 153 with a few more to go until I hit my goals. I know that people mean well when they say that you don't need to lose any more weight but its not about what they think. I'm doing this because I want to feel good about the way my body looks.
I don't think there is a good answer for that. Everyone has their own reasons for starting their weight loss journey and sticking wth it. For me it was I hated the way my body looked with or without clothes. I've just been telling people that I wanted to get healthier and that losing 20+ pounds is part of that journey.
BTW, great job on your weight loss and best of luck on your goal!!0 -
Your goal weight is the same as mine and we're also the same height. I've actually just told them for health reasons and leave it at that. I feel better being a bit lighter than I am currently and have more energy. They tend not to argue too much with it being for health reasons, as opposed to I just want to look better. At least, that's what I've found.
Excellent reply and one that reflects my experience.
Apparently, people tend to view weight loss in another person as an indictment against themselves, creating a feeling that they should be doing a better job of controlling their own diet. By a simple statement of attributing your need for weight loss to a health reason, then they are now off the hook and can feel ok that they aren't pursuing a weight loss program themselves.0 -
Friends/Family are always telling me "you look fine, stop losing weight" But I am doing What I enjoy. What I am doing (Eating/exercising) is making me happy & feel good about myself.0
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I've started getting the "don't lose too much, now!" comments. I've had friends question (some quite rudely, unfortunately) how frequently I exercise; and depending on how they've asked (i.e. rudely or not!) they get one of the following:
It's for health reasons/it's increasing my life expectancy/it could be worse, it could be meth.
That usually keeps them quiet. However, if someone is polite or complimentary, I try and stick to the old adage of a compliment being a verbal gift; ergo it should be accepted as one - graciously, and with a genuine thank you.0 -
I know how you feel!
I usually take the coward's way out: I shrug and change the subject
No chance of winning that arguement anyway and I would only end up frustrated.
It's strange how I only get it from other women. Luckily I only have to deal with men at work and the only comment I got from them was "You're not fat". Bless them0 -
Sounds like what my wife has recently started hearing at her work, now that she's getting back to her awesome self.
The comments seem to come from members of the "larger" community, so I imagine there's a bit of group think going on. Being overweight isn't as bad as all that if you surround yourself with other people who are overweight as well, right? And now you're going and abandoning the group, weakening their communal delusion, letting them personally down. Of course they have to try to bring you back!
If it were me I'd just say something like, "Yeah, isn't it awesome? I feel better than I have in years." Then look at them pointedly. That should be the last time they bring it up.0 -
My response depends on who it is:
Work/Collegues: Thank you for your concern but my doctor is supervising my progress.
Casual friends: I don't tell you what to do because I have no idea what's right for you so please show me the same respect
Close friends: You haven't seen me naked... I know how to dress to hide the worst parts of me. Just wait until I reach my goal and you see me in a bikini!! :laugh:
All positive comments are met with "Thank you"0 -
I usually say "What?" and then if they repeat themselves, smile real big and tell them "I love hearing that SO MUCH!"
It works on many levels.0 -
Just start talking in terms of body fat percentage goals, most will then get this watery hazy look in their eyes as they don't get it.0
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I agree with the health answers above. I say that I am getting to a healthy body weight for my height and I am following proper diet and exercise programs to do it.
If they say "STOP, you are too skinny!", I hear "I am jealous that you can lose weight and I can't, so stop!"0 -
Just start talking in terms of body fat percentage goals, most will then get this watery hazy look in their eyes as they don't get it.
^^^YES!^^^
Numbers and data bore people...it's not about fat/skinny or whether or not you're dieting--it's about health and how you feel. One thing I've noticed though...looking straight down at myself I still see the bodyfat that's there, but looking in the mirror, it's not. Very weird how the angle changes things and it goes to show you (for me at least) that body image is relative to your perspective! Made it easier for me to appreciate the numbers even more since they don't lie like our eyes can at times...and I can see how people can get into the anorexic frame of mind and just go too far with the leaning down.0 -
Wondering how everyone else handles other peoples comments when they are told they are trying to lose weight. I'm 5'7 and am down to 146lbs from 165 at the beginning of this year. I still have 16lbs to reach my goal. It is frustrating when people say I don't need to lose or to stop losing weight. I wear my weight well even at my heaviest. No one knows how someone truly looks underneath their clothing. My best answer I can come up with is it is simply because I want to.
Tell them to learn about body fat. And tell them to also stop acting like a mortal.
You can also shoot them down real quick with, I don't aspire to look like you or what you think is right
and then
GFY0 -
We have similar heights and stats. The great thing about being taller is that we tend to hide extra weight well (to a point). The only kind of bad thing is that it's harder for people to notice when we've lost weight, and they tend to not understand why we are dieting because they don't see the extra pounds.
One woman I had just met was VERY aggressive with me about how I need to stop trying to lose weight and consider myself already at a realistic weight. She just would not let up. Because she was a friend of a good friend I couldn't be snippy with her like I wanted to be. After that experience, though, I don't tell anyone that I'm losing weight. Because the weight loss is easier to hide on us because we're taller, we can lose weight in secret.0 -
I usually say "What?" and then if they repeat themselves, smile real big and tell them "I love hearing that SO MUCH!"
It works on many levels.
Genius!! Seriously--genius!! :laugh:0 -
For those who tell me I need to lose the weight:
I tell them I know, I own a mirror, and I'm working on it!
For those who tell me I look fine and don't need to lose weight:
Because I want to just to be healtier0 -
I think it's best just to say that your weight is a function of the healthier lifestyle you've adopted - better nutrition, more active tends to do that. If they persist, tell them that Americans have gotten so big over the last 30 or so years that we've collectively lost site of what healthy looks like - that really shuts overweight people up.0
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