Nosy, annoying person at the gym!

Sofithomas
Sofithomas Posts: 118
in Fitness and Exercise
Urgh people like this make me mad, and this dude totally put me off my workout....today I was in tyhe weight room, only lady as per usual, doing back squats lifting about 45kg - heavy for me, but not so bad that my form is sacrificed. I upped it as last week I felt myself grow stronger so thought, why not? Doing my first set and then notice this guy loitering near me, he's not exactly riped may I add (I mean that with no disrepect - its just ironic at the comments he made me), and as I put the weight down he comes up to me going 'wow your form was perfect!' I go thank you then suddenly he points at my weight and says: 'thats a little heavy for a woman isn't it?' I stare at him blankly, perplexed at his nosiness and to be honest damm right rudeness?? I go well to be honest I want a challenge, haha, then he goes 'oooh no don't do that, do a lower weight and do more reps, otherwise your legs will look so bulky and big, not what you want.' I was so in shock I kindve murmured a sheepish thanks, waited for his smug little *kitten* to leave and continued my weights, feeling a little put out may I add!

I get if someones doing form dangerously, a TRAINER from the gym come to help them out, but really?? A random stranger trying to tell me I'l get bulky?? Wow, real professional and well-mannered...


Anyone else experience this sort of thing?
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Replies

  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,805 Member
    Confront the bro-scientist.
  • Sofithomas
    Sofithomas Posts: 118
    LOL, I had to bite my tongue, but I was too in shock and worn out from my workout to retaliate!! xD
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Dude, that's rude. I'm guessing that he couldn't lift that much and he was just jelly.
  • gungho66
    gungho66 Posts: 284 Member
    No one has said anything to me in the gym, and as a guy I agree with you that he was rude. In my opinion , people need to just mind their own F'in business. keep up the good work, I personally think heavy work weight is the way to go.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I had a girl tell me that I was "too fat to squat" once. Some people just can't keep their mouths shut.
  • ahamm002
    ahamm002 Posts: 1,690 Member
    Don't let one idiot ruin your day! In reality he's probably just some socially awkward moron that was making a very bad attempt to joke around with you.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    I would have been like "well in a few months, weeks, whatever I will be able to outlift you." Or something like that. Lol
  • ruststar
    ruststar Posts: 489 Member
    He's an idiot and you should tell him you can handle the weight just fine. Today I had to ask one of the guys in the gym if he was done with his set of deadlifts since he walked away from the squat rack for 10 minutes with 45 pound plates still on the bar. He said he was done and offered to replace the plates for me in a tone that implied he didn't think I could do it myself, so I told him "Leave it - that's a good starting weight for me." I left him scratching his head and it felt good.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I had a girl tell me that I was "too fat to squat" once. Some people just can't keep their mouths shut.

    I had a personal trainer tell me that my goal weight was "too fat" and that I should aim to be a size 2. Yeah, ok, some girls look good at a 2, but not all of them TYVM.

    ETA: I don't think I would be one of them.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    He is obviously an uneducated idiot - ignore him and keep working on your strong and sleek legs
  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
    You could always 'drop' a weight on his foot.
  • Sofithomas
    Sofithomas Posts: 118
    He's an idiot and you should tell him you can handle the weight just fine. Today I had to ask one of the guys in the gym if he was done with his set of deadlifts since he walked away from the squat rack for 10 minutes with 45 pound plates still on the bar. He said he was done and offered to replace the plates for me in a tone that implied he didn't think I could do it myself, so I told him "Leave it - that's a good starting weight for me." I left him scratching his head and it felt good.

    YES I GET THIS TOO IN MY GYM!! The condescending look, as if offering to lift it for you. GRRRRRRR!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    He's an idiot and you should tell him you can handle the weight just fine. Today I had to ask one of the guys in the gym if he was done with his set of deadlifts since he walked away from the squat rack for 10 minutes with 45 pound plates still on the bar. He said he was done and offered to replace the plates for me in a tone that implied he didn't think I could do it myself, so I told him "Leave it - that's a good starting weight for me." I left him scratching his head and it felt good.

    SNAP :drinker:
  • maxdwolf
    maxdwolf Posts: 18
    Seeing as I'm not young, attractive, or female I've never gotten that, though I hear about it all the time. Not that it excuses his behaviour, but he may just be lonely and not know how to converse respectfully. If something like that happens again, with him or some other schmuck, I would recommend not looking sheepish, which may be misinterpreted as submissive. If he continues to be a pest, just tell him you just come to work out. If that doesn't work, you should talk to the staff.

    On the plus side, congrats on having perfect form! :)
  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
    go big or go home and next time tell him he can kiss this!! lol but then i work out at a military gym and the guys still look at the women in the weight area like we are invading their space. but the women are taking over. Of course i scare people so no one would approach me haha get a good kick _ss face and tell him to "SHUT UP and TRAIN!" hehehe ...he was a douche don't let him get to you. :drinker:
  • treeeee
    treeeee Posts: 39 Member
    I hate to sound like a b-word, but I can't STAND when people try to strike up conversation at the gym, even friendly. I am there to get my workout out, I am focused and in 'the zone' and I'm kind of naturally a quiet person anyway and I get so annoyed when people try to start a conversation. It's like, come on, just leave me alone!!

    That, and I have a few visible tattoos on my chest and right above both of my knees, I catch people staring at me alot and I think it has something to do with the tattoos, which is irritating. DOUBLE WHAMMY when they interrupt me in the middle of a workout to ask about my tattoos!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I would ignore him, while it's still rude telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing, especially when he's no expert himself, I think it's more ignorance than anything else. This guy has obviously heard all sorts of myths about women getting "bulky" and probably thinks he's doing you a favour by letting you know :ohwell:

    I once had a guy tell me that I should use the lat pull down upstairs (machine area) instead of the one I was currently using downstairs (free weight area) as that one was more suited to women :noway: I think he thought it was going to have different results, maybe ones I didn't like? I have no idea, I think the ones upstairs went up to a smaller max weight, apart from that they're the same. I just said "ok thanks" and carried on with what I was doing haha
  • savvystephy
    savvystephy Posts: 4,151 Member
    Dude, that's rude. I'm guessing that he couldn't lift that much and he was just jelly.

    This. :tongue:

    I have had guys tell me I was going to get hurt lifting so much weight.. while I have had other give me a huge smile when they realize I am not messing around. You'll get both kinds, just smile, say thanks, and continue doing what you're doing.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I would have offered to shove a 35 pounds dumbbell up his *kitten* for his very nice advice.
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    You gotta tell these folks to eff off, right and proper. What a d-bag.
  • docktorfokse
    docktorfokse Posts: 473 Member
    to be totally honest, i would have laughed at him right then and there. not only is he giving you unsolicited advice, but he basically just spat out a textbook case of the "toning" myth.
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    he was likely attempting in his idiotic way to hit on you.... but subtley (like sounding 'educated' would help).
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    Ignore these "advice" givers most times they know nothing.

    e.g: a month ago ish I was doing medicine ball rotations for abs and some guy came up to me and said "that's the wrong exercise to be doing if you want six pack abs, you should be crunches" so I said to him " let's see your six pack then" his response was " er... erm my body fat is too high" so I lift up my shirt and tell him " I'm going to do whatever I want and nobody wants your bs advice."

    He no longer harasses people with his "expertise"
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Ignore these "advice" givers most times they know nothing.

    e.g: a month ago ish I was doing medicine ball rotations for abs and some guy came up to me and said "that's the wrong exercise to be doing if you want six pack abs, you should be crunches" so I said to him " let's see your six pack then" his response was " er... erm my body fat is too high" so I lift up my shirt and tell him " I'm going to do whatever I want and nobody wants your bs advice."

    He no longer harasses people with his "expertise"

    Outstanding!
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    http://youtu.be/_-91_iXATY8
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    Confront the bro-scientist.

    LOL!
  • turlykerd1
    turlykerd1 Posts: 54 Member
    chat up maybe ?

    we do stupid things some times

    and say stupid things all the time

    lol
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    Maybe he was VERY awkwardly trying to compliment you, but that is UNACCEPTABLE.:angry: Aside from hitting on people at the gym being awkward anyway, the way to do it is NOT that way.

    I had this happen once at the gym when me and my girlfriend were working out, except the difference was her and I REALLY didn't know what we were doing and appreciated the help. And although this guy was obviously hitting on us as well, he was VERY fit and was just suggesting ways to improve our form, not talking down to us for doing it wrong.
  • yvonnej1
    yvonnej1 Posts: 904 Member
    What an a*hole!

    I am usually the only woman in the weight section at my gym too but I am lucky enough never to have experienced anything nearly so bad. Actually the other day I was doing pullups and there were some guys taking turns on the other pullup station and I saw one of them nudge the another and say ' look she can do pull ups better than you' :-)
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    Ugh, those people infuriate me! Not only is he spouting a bunch of bull (the whole "women will get too bulky if they lift weights" crap), he's managing to be condescending and insulting to a complete stranger!

    My mom has been really into working out and weightlifting for years (she's 51 now) and is in incredible shape, but you wouldn't BELIEVE the stuff she has to deal with at the gym. For a long time, she just kept her mouth shut and would go off about it later to me, about these guys who ranged from creepers to blatantly misogynistic. One day, she couldn't take it anymore and told them to put up or shut up, challenging them to any contest, their terms. She blew them out of the water on one-handed push-ups, lasting several minutes longer than any of the sexist jerks! They gave her the nickname "Diesel" and never dared to talk down to her again!

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