Scared, Sad and Trying Desperately to Surrender to Doing Goo

schatzie13
schatzie13 Posts: 3
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
Hi. This is Schatzie13.

All my life I was heavy, extremely active, yet heavy. Finally in 2005 my doctor convinced me to undergo gastric bypass surgery. My start weight was 330 pounds at just under 5 foot tall, size 30/32. Over the first two years I went down to 170 pounds and size 10/12. I managed to maintain that weight up until this last year and a half. I am now up 30 pounds at 199 and cannot fit into any of my clothes.

Add to this I have, at my lowest weight, approximately 30 pounds of excess skin, it is rather devastating to be gaining again. My biggest concern is that being totally faithful to 1500 calories per day for 6 months at my heaviest weight and exercising regularly I only lost 8 pounds, which prompted my physician to push for the gastric bypass.

I will say, unfortunately, I have developed a sweettooth and a love for chocolate in the last of my 39 years, that is like an addiction I can't shake. I have, however, vowed to drink more water, which I can not stand, blech, but am doing better each day. My goal is to increase by 8 oz each day.

What happens, if I am doing the recommended 1400 calories per day now and exercising which I am doing (even though I just started on Monday), and I still don't lose anything. I may go completely mad.

Is there anyone who has gone through what I have and can offer me suggestions. I would really appreciated it, as day three is only just here and I am contemplating cheating already.

This is a cry for help!! :sad:

Thanks,
Schatzie

Replies

  • barbarella
    barbarella Posts: 609 Member
    I haven't experienced that amount of weight or surgery......

    Just want to say...........

    Hang in there Baby!!! :flowerforyou: :heart: :flowerforyou:

    Do the best you can to not get discouraged and know things get better in time.
    Get bizzzy on other projects to distract your mind from eating sweets. :noway:
    Like keep a journal, or sketchbook and record your thoughts.
    Walk-Walk-Walk! :bigsmile:
    Drink Water-Water-Water! :drinker:

    Others will surely chime in--- people are very caring here!
    BEST TO YOU!!!! :flowerforyou: :love: :flowerforyou: :bigsmile:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Okay..deep breath....:flowerforyou:

    You burn more then you take in then you WILL lose weight. It's never as quick or easy as we'd like, but it will happen as long as you stay dedicated. :flowerforyou:

    There are many people here who don't like water, but by adding lemon or cucumbers to it will give it a little more flavor. :smile:

    And we've all had those "I can't do this" moments, but the reality is, you can do this!

    Join a group here and just keep at it.

    Good luck! :smile:
  • trifitness
    trifitness Posts: 17 Member
    good for you for reaching out. we all go through th overwhelmed time. i just did. i gained 14 pounds in less than 3 weeks. i accepted that and now i am gell bent on losing it. take your time. be consistant and dedicated.

    as far as the chocolate: i like the hershey's cream savers in chocolate. you get the taste without all the fat and calories. sugar free fudge cicles work too. :flowerforyou:

    best wishes. i know you can do this. if you can do the surgery, recovery you can do this.:happy:
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
    The water at my work tastes really yucky (city water) and so I bring a little baggie of lemon wedges to add to it and it makes it totally drinkable. Add ice cubes, too, when it is cold it tastes better. Drinking lots of water really does help. And eating lots of veggies. I bring a baggie of fresh green beans or baby carrots to crunch on through the day. Also, chocolate isn't bad per se, just buy yourself a really high quality bar, and tell yourself you can have one square after you finish your 8th glass of water for the day!

    Good luck to you! You can do it! :bigsmile:
  • MissK
    MissK Posts: 1
    Hang in there!

    Losing the weight is no easy task - but you just have to stick to your guns and reach out for encouragement and support when you need it. I'm in my mid-30s and have arthritis in my back. Makes exercise really tough - lying on the couch with a heating pad is much easier. But I started committing to walking once or twice a day - loading up the iPod with music i love - and i really enjoy it now. I've also been doing Pilates and am seeing great results in building strength in my core and back to ease the pain.

    You just need to find the right fit for you.

    As for the water - if you have a sweet tooth you may just love Crystal Light powder in your H2O. it comes in yummy fruity flavors and the packets are so tiny you can just pop them in your purse. There's a new kind that even contains fibre.

    Good luck :smile:
  • cerdmann
    cerdmann Posts: 60
    Schatzie13:

    At 53 I've finally figured out that being kind to yourself is the first step in reaching your goals. You will have many days and weeks and even months that will be difficult in life. I've struggled all my life with my weight, even losing 100 lbs only to gain most of it back again! You must realize that no matter what your weight, you are a beautiful, wonderful, deserving person. Wanting to lose weight to be healthier is a great goal, but it doesn't change the person inside. Find a way to give yourself credit for all you've done in your life and for simply hanging in there through the rough years. Liking yourself for who you are does not mean you like the extra weight you carry. The weight is not YOU! Sometimes people can make it feel that way, but it's truly not. Our bodies are only what's on the outside. What's on the inside is what truly matters. So, like yourself for who you are! Once you can do you'll find that reaching for those little goals (more water each day) will help you down the path to the rest of your life. Baby steps, my friend, baby steps!
  • Shuutnstar
    Shuutnstar Posts: 46 Member
    Crystal Light really helped me increase my water intake. I really like their pink lemonade, pomegrate raspberry lemonade, and the FRUIT PUNCH is the BEST!

    Also... trying different brands of bottled water. I couldn't stand drinking the water at my home when I was growing up. We had sulfur (rotten-egg) smelling water... so I never really learned to LIKE water. But I started trying different waters and know now that I HATE DASANI, but I love Zepherhills. I can tolerate AuqaFina... etc. You won't know til you try!

    So... look in to those simple solutions to help you. Get a water buddy and set challenges with someone else to make you accountable. Chug it down, I usually try to chug a bottle or 2 around 3pm if I haven't met my 8glass a day requirement. Try not to drink too much too late, oryou will be running to the potty all night long!!

    First and foremost, believe that you need to do this to help make you healthier! You CAN DO THIS! Power of positive thinking really does wonders!

    Good luck to you!
  • Kristi82
    Kristi82 Posts: 80 Member
    After you start getting used to drinking more water I think you will find that you NEED to drink it. You get to the point where you don't even have to think about it or remind yourself. Sometimes I don't get a break at work until late in the day and start to feel yucky, and usually it's just that I haven't had the water that I am used to. It will get easier.
  • finallyproud
    finallyproud Posts: 154 Member
    I completely know how you feel. In January I went to see my Dr. because my knees and legs hurt so bad I could barely stand. When I got there and stepped on the scale it said 320 lbs. I was like OMG!! How did this happen to me? That day the Dr. suggested that I have gastric bypass also. I left the Dr. still in shock and went to the grocery store to buy a few things when it actually hit me that my life was in danger. I burst out crying in the middle of Publix. :laugh:

    I made the decision right then and there I wanted to live. I knew I had to change my steady diet of Dr. Pepper and Fudge Rounds or it was never going to work. I picked up a water bottle and never put it down. I've changed my diet, and exercise and developed the mentality that I was changing my life forever not just doing a diet. Here I am 9 months later down to 252 lbs. You just have to make a choice if you want to live a healthy life or not, and do what you know you have to do. Things do get easier and it all starts with baby steps. Try different things and figure out what works for you, but you have to do it for you. I wish you all the best and I'll pray for you. :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • schatzie13
    schatzie13 Posts: 3
    To Everyone Who Responded,

    All I can say is, "Wow!". I am touched, and not all in the head. :) Your support, suggestions as well as your own personal stories has blown me away. I thank each and every single one of you and promise myself first and foremost, that I am going to learn to be my own best friend. And to cut myself some slack.

    I know it isn't going to be easy, but with support like yours and my husband's, I can do this difficult thing. Just remind me when I slip, okay?

    And I think I am going to start each day with the mantra, lifestyle not diet. Starting tomorrow morning! :smile:

    Again, thanks again ever so very much.

    Schatzie
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I feel sad that you're so sad...but you really can do this, we all can, and being here is definitely a step in the right direction. First of all, you have to stop being so afraid of food- food isn't your enemy, it's something your body can not function without, so don't feel guilty about giving it what it needs. I think we all "cheat", but what you'll learn from being here is that it's not really cheating...it's just a part of life, and a big part of this journey. I seem to have at least one day a week where I go over my calories by at least 1000. On those days I try to do a little extra cardio to burn off some of those calories. As long as you have a calorie deficit at the end of the week, you're going to lose some weight. Take it slow, and take it easy on yourself.

    The sweets, now that's another story. Those nasty little buggers. We have a support / challenge thread for the sugar junkies, stop in and say hi.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/64291-let-s-quit-the-sweets?hl=let's+quit+the+sweets&page=1#posts-796610
  • Mamakatspokane
    Mamakatspokane Posts: 3,098 Member
    :flowerforyou: Congrats to you for what you have already accomplished and for what you will accomplish. Find a group on MFP and join it! You can usually jump into any group that grabs your attention! Being accountable to friends and having them support you in your daily struggles is huge. I too have had the extra skin...and it was a horrible feeling when I had no more extra skin and had filled it back to compacity....I am working on getting all that extra skin back, LOL who would have thought??:laugh:
    The only other "advice" I can share is to forgive the scale when it's not going your way....my body has a new feature (developed in my 30's apparently) where I'm not losing every week..I was so frustrated but finally said to myself if you keep doing the right things it'll show eventually and it has...some weeks it just takes longer than I had hoped.
    Don't give up on yourself! You CAN do this!:flowerforyou:
  • Georg
    Georg Posts: 1,728 Member
    :flowerforyou: You need to take care of yourself, girl!
    :bigsmile: We're all here & we're all in different stages of almost the same journey. Stay strong & come here often.
    :ohwell: I find it very hard to snack while I'm reading such inspirational stuff here.
    You can do it!!!!!!
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    There are some really good ideas in the post prior to this one. One thing I would like to add is BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. Set some intermediate goals for yourself, and to help you reach them, think of something you really would like to have for YOU, and then reward yourself.

    Since food is the issue, I suggest the reward be something else. Only you know what you would really like to have, or some activity you would like to do that would be a reward.

    In regard to the extra skin. I don't have any personal experience here, but I think it is possible to have it surgically removed, and if that is the case, perhaps this is something to look forward to, as having it gone will make you feel better about you, right?

    I wish you every success. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • trifitness
    trifitness Posts: 17 Member
    how ya doing sweetie? . one day at a time. just thinking of you and wanted to say hi.:flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Tri.......that is sweet.......I love that you are checking in on her!!

    We are here for you. If you look around, read the profiles of some of the members, it really helps you to know that YOU are no different.........YOU can do this!!

    I have been over weight for 15 or so years. I know 170 is not heavy to some ppl, but considering I am of petite frame, 5'2" and was 105-110 for the years prior to this that is a HUGE weight gain.

    Then in 2006 an idiot with bald tires blew one and slammed into my vehicle going 65 MPH causing me to spin around I-95 in rush hour traffic!

    For some reason I was spared a fate more horrible than a herniated disc in my neck, but this put me right in bed. I maintained my weight, but lost all muscle tone and stamina.

    Last year I was depressed, loaded with cholesteral, in constent pain and hated myself.

    Today I am 30+ pounds lighter and have LOADS of energy!! I feel 10 years younger and cannot wait to get to the gym or ride my bike.

    It was one day.............no more like 1 hour or meal at a time at first. Making the right choices for my body.

    Be honest with yourself. You will lose weight if you eat less than you burn..........it is simple science.......but I lied to myself for years. It was not until I saw it logged here in front of my eyes and had the support of these wonderful ppl that I was able to get a grip.

    Good luck to you on your journey~!

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie
  • schatzie13
    schatzie13 Posts: 3
    You guys are just so amazing! There really are no words, even though I am sure that sounds cliche.

    I thank you all, and look forward to supporting you in your endeavors and you are helping me just get started.

    One good thing, our house is under construction, so the majority of this past weekend was hammering, nailing, cutting wood, carrying lumber etc. So even though it wasn't an organized exercise regimen, i surely sweat my patootie off! :)

    I'll find a group and keep up with you all as well.

    Again, Thanks! My :heart: goes out to each of you.

    Schatzie13


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