getting husband to join me

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yogamom16
yogamom16 Posts: 114
in Fitness and Exercise
Hello all, I have a question about my husband. I really would like for him to start getting some exercise with me. I try to get him to go for walks, ride bikes, walk on the beach, go hiking with me but he seems to not want to do anything. He has some health problems that could be improved with exercise but he is very resistant. He isnt hugely overweight, only about 15-20lbs to lose but I want him to get healthy.
In his defense he is a VERY busy guy and he is traveling about 2 weeks out of every month. But he is in hotels that have fitness centers and he still wont use them.

How can I get him to care about fitness and being healthy? All I am asking for is for him to get SOME kind of physical activity a few times a week!!! He just tells me that he is too busy.

Oh and let me just add that he is an ex Army ranger and special forces so he KNOWS how to workout and be healthy. This isnt something new to him.

Replies

  • SlimBananas
    SlimBananas Posts: 124 Member
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    my ordeal is a little different, my husband would walk and run with me stuff like that but would not do any of my workouts with me. He would incourage me and stuff like that but just wouldnt join in. The only way i got him to join me was getting us a joint membership at the local gym so we could work out together. We consider it our "date nights" since we have 3 kids we rarely get out lol. My only advice is to just keep talking to him and bring up the health benefits and all that good stuff. I hope he joins you soon.
  • mandylooo
    mandylooo Posts: 456 Member
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    I kinda had this problem with my hubbie. There was never any point in trying to push him, but he did always know it was important. He has a health issue which will improve with exercise too. I think I just kinda led by example and pointed out that at some point he had to put his health first, no matter what else he had on.

    He started swimming and taking core classes a couple of months back and he seems to be getting into it. I can see that he lost a few lbs (he was a little bit over as well, maybe 14lbs).

    I don't think you can push someone into doing something - just keep showing him the advantages!
  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
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    Well let me just say my husband has been very active our whole marriage and he was very resistant to doing anything with me or changing our diet. Now we are doing some things together because he has seen how happy i am and since i do the majority of grocery shopping and cooking he was forced to change his diet and lost 10 lbs he didn't really need to lose. If you just leave it alone and lead by example he may eventually come around....In my house the more you press someone the more resistant to change they usually are. Our puppies are hyper and need daily walking or they dig in the garden as well so if our daughter can't walk them one of us has to. I hope this helps if not we are here for you.
  • leahnoelle31
    leahnoelle31 Posts: 79 Member
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    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. So, if I were you, I'd keep extending the invitation to him and if he declines, you go do said activity on your own. Eventually he'll feel left out and may start joining you. And really, who DOESN'T want to walk on the beach after a hard day :)
  • Barbellsandthimbles
    Barbellsandthimbles Posts: 205 Member
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    He has to want to make the change. You can't force him to. That being said, I agree with Leah. Keeping asking him to join you. Eventually, he may join out of guilt for saying no so much or may feel left out (especially if it's something really fun). I wouldn't get upset with him, try not to argue over it or nag him to go. That just forces some people to dig their heels in more.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,618 Member
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    Hello all, I have a question about my husband. I really would like for him to start getting some exercise with me. I try to get him to go for walks, ride bikes, walk on the beach, go hiking with me but he seems to not want to do anything. He has some health problems that could be improved with exercise but he is very resistant. He isnt hugely overweight, only about 15-20lbs to lose but I want him to get healthy.
    In his defense he is a VERY busy guy and he is traveling about 2 weeks out of every month. But he is in hotels that have fitness centers and he still wont use them.

    How can I get him to care about fitness and being healthy? All I am asking for is for him to get SOME kind of physical activity a few times a week!!! He just tells me that he is too busy.

    Oh and let me just add that he is an ex Army ranger and special forces so he KNOWS how to workout and be healthy. This isnt something new to him.
    I can tell you from experience that many men KNOW how they used to be and KNOW what kind of work it entailed. He may be hesitant because if he feels to get back into that type of shape will require daily hours of training and he won't have time for anything else.
    Also for some men, it's all or nothing.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
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    I'm pretty much in the exact same boat. My husband is gone for 9 days and home for 5... week in, week out. He is older than me and really has some health problems. With his current job he walks more than he probably ever has in his life (many hours a day), but he seems to think that's enough. I have tried to get him to walk to the grocery store (which is a HALF a block away), and he absolutely refuses, so I walk and he will drive, and he has no regrets. Then later that night he'll complain about his belly. I'm at a loss for words with him.

    Maybe just giving up the nagging, and going about with the exercise without them is the trick. When they ask why or what you are doing, just reply with something casual.
  • kamazza
    kamazza Posts: 98 Member
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    I wish I had some advice to offer. I'm lucky in that my husband will exercise most days of the week and is fitter then most men half his age. (He does need more cardio though, which I'm working on *lol*) Often if I'm going down to the basement I'll ask him to "come down with me and encourage" and he'll end up coming and just getting his workout done too. Maybe ask him to come watch and encourage? Maybe that would help him get a move on!
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    My husband wanted to lose about 15 pounds and just be in better shape for hunting season in the fall.

    When I told him he could use MFP on his Android phone and scan barcodes he was suddenly very interested. We are both IT nerds and the idea of easily tracking things on your phone is very appealing to both of us. He even said the main reason he was ale to start is how convenient it is to do with the phone.
  • larkiedeek
    larkiedeek Posts: 203 Member
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    Bribe him.

    Every 5lbs lost = reward. Every inch lost = reward. Whatever way you want to cut it.

    Simple!
  • phillbis
    phillbis Posts: 411 Member
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    I would just keep working on yourself. You can't force someone to want to change and until he wants to change he likely won't be joining you. Hopefully, your success will inspire him. It's like someone said, with some of us it's all or nothing.

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