Lost the baby.. Now losing the weight.

miss_sparrow
miss_sparrow Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone. I'm new around here, and just starting out in getting back into good shape.

My name is Caressa, I'm 21, and from the pacific northwest. I'm 5'8 and 197 lbs, and I want to get down to about 155,160 or so. I'm a married stay at home Mom to a fantastic little boy that will be 2 on May 5th, and an angel baby.

2 weeks ago, I was 23 weeks pregnant. I was carrying a little boy named Ryder Anthony, and Ryder had a rare chromosomal abnormality called Ring 13, along with a congenital heart defect. Had he lived, he would have required open heart surgery but instead, he earned his angel wings on 4-14-12.

I'm only 1 week, 3 days post partum so my body is still recovering, however it was a perfect, no complications delivery so I'll be clear to start working out this weekend. I want to get my body in tip top shape ASAP.. I was sedentary for most of the pregnancy so I've gained more than I'd like to have, and I can't stand looking like I've recently had a baby and yet have no baby to show for it. So I think part of the healing process for me is to grieve through exercise, if that makes any sense. Plus, in about 6-8 months or so, my husband and I would like to try again to have a healthy baby. I want to be in the best possible health at that point.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll need a ton of support along the way. I'll probably be around these forums often, so I look forward to getting to know you guys along the way :)
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Replies

  • Charismasme2
    Charismasme2 Posts: 118 Member
    Welcome Caressa!!! This is the best place!!! Lots of support or what every you may need. You do what you feel you need to in order to grieve. I'm sorry for your loss. You have a really good attitude, and if you every need anything, just let me know. There's a ton of really great people on here. Here's to your success in ALL your goals!!!
  • jroja021
    jroja021 Posts: 74 Member
    I'm here for you... I had a complicated pregnancy and know only a small 1 % of what you feel.. My condolenses... I bet you will due great and achieve your goal in no time with mfp!
  • EversBeautiful
    EversBeautiful Posts: 33
    Welcome and sorry for your loss, I also lost my little girl Angel in Jan. I'm also trying to deal with the loss and I turned to getting myself healthy, feel free to add me
  • Wisewoman888
    Wisewoman888 Posts: 72 Member
    Hey Miss Sparrow! Big hugs on your loss. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child at 23wks. I've lost two at 6 & 13weeks. I think you're amazing with your attitude to get on top of your health and wellbeing to conceive again! Good on you!
    I too want to have one more child (I have 3, boy girl twins age 8 and a boy aged 6) before I'm 50 (I'm 42 atm), so kudos to losing weight!
    Add me!
  • jheartj95
    jheartj95 Posts: 34 Member
    I too lost a baby at 21 weeks. I know your pain. I had a 13 month old son to care for, but I was still going through the symptoms of having a newborn. Just take care of you and your family, and the rest will fall into place. It just takes time.
  • TurtleRunnerNC
    TurtleRunnerNC Posts: 751 Member
    Just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    *hugs* welcome!
    I'm terribly sorry for your family's loss :( I wish I had some healing words for you but right now all I can do is offer you support on this journey to heal and get healthy. Feel free to add me!
  • batalina
    batalina Posts: 209 Member
    just wanted to say my heart goes out to you, and i wish you the best of luck in your weightloss journey and for your family, now and in the future :)
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, you will get heaps of support in many forms on here and good luck with reaching your goals!
  • lurn
    lurn Posts: 2
    Welcome! Good luck, girl! I'm starting here myself.
  • RachelsReboot
    RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
    Welcome, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my second son at 22 weeks and 3 days and my daughter at 19 weeks 4 days. I know your pain and I know that sometimes we have to find out own ways to heal. Feel free to add me as a friend, I would love to offer you support.
  • c_muschany
    c_muschany Posts: 37 Member
    Wow, I couldn't imagine. I am so sorry that happened to you, your husband, and your son. Take care of yourself and give that little boy of yours an extra squeeze. I wish you all the luck in the world for your future baby!
  • JillSandm
    JillSandm Posts: 52 Member
    So sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling! I think it is a great plan to focus on healing through healthy living, but be sure to take the time to grieve and just feel sad. We lost our 10-year-old daughter to cancer last fall, and felt like people tried to rush us through the grief process before we were ready. Subsequently, I ate my emotions (since no one wanted to deal with "sad Jill") and wound up gaining nearly 20 pounds in just a very short time. Don't be afraid to grieve for however long you need, and if exercising your grief away works for you, then go for it!

    Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine a scenario where it would ever be "easy" to lose a child...
  • timanda2
    timanda2 Posts: 149
    I lost a baby at 7 weeks, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. So sorry for your loss, but I know you can make your goals! feel free to add me!
  • RedMuse
    RedMuse Posts: 50 Member
    Welcome, and so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best!! Add me if you like!!
  • CrazyMidget611
    CrazyMidget611 Posts: 102 Member
    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    Feel free to friend me, we can motivate each other :)
  • Billywoo
    Billywoo Posts: 141 Member
    Wow.. very sorry to hear that. If you need anyone to talk to about exercise, eating habits, or your child, im here. I know you don't know me but April 15th was the 3rd anneversary for my sons passing at 6 wks old. I know how hard it is. My weight loss journey is dedicated to him. Good luck with yours... Sorry again....
  • tina0314
    tina0314 Posts: 6
    HUGS to you and good luck on your journey!:smile:
  • NoreenF
    NoreenF Posts: 10 Member
    I am also very new here. Prayers go out to you and your family--and looking forward to getting to know you and supporting each other as we all move toward our goal.
  • melb2003
    melb2003 Posts: 198
    My heart geniuenly goes out to you. I lost a baby last year in June and I never even knew how far along I was in the pregnancy. I could imagine probably no more than 4-8 weeks. It still hurt so bad emotionally and even now, after trying to conceive for 4 years, it makes me cry when thinking about it. I couldn't imagine how badly you hurt right now. I guess I could consider myself fortunate that I didn't have to go through most of the pregnancy.

    Feel free to add me. I've been here for almost 3 months and there is a ton of support here. If you ever have questions regarding fitness, the people here are more than happy to share their knowledge and what would works for them.

    Best of luck!! :smile:
  • teapot35
    teapot35 Posts: 28
    I lost a baby at 7 weeks, and I had my share of heartache - I cannot know the depths of the sorrow you feel. forgive me if this sounds contrived, but I am so very sorry for your loss and I hope that your recovery is smooth and steady. Please add me if you want another pal - I can see that lots of people are ready to support you here!

    You need to take care of YOU now. get healthy and the weight will go.
  • coratime
    coratime Posts: 3
    Hi Caressa!
    Welcome! I don't know the words to say to make you feel better, but I just know you will be successful in your weight loss. Your positive attitude is what will help you do that and to go through the grieving process. I love the way you are already optimistic about the healthy baby you will have in the future. I am new also, and a little embarrassed that my ticker only shows a 3 pound loss, but I just started last week. The best is yet to come for both of us!
  • SafireBleu
    SafireBleu Posts: 881 Member
    HI and welcome to MFP. I started my WLJ in July after a loss as well. I won't be trying again but want to try to be healthier for the babies I do have. Good luck
  • Mommagoose4
    Mommagoose4 Posts: 132 Member
    Welcome. I am sure you will find this site very helpful. One step at a time.

    I to know what it feels like to know the loss of a children. I have 5 angel babies! I have also been blessed with 4 healthy happy children.
    I too am trying to get my prebaby body back.

    If you are looking for support or a friend don't be afraid to add me.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    <3
  • rachelsewardxo
    rachelsewardxo Posts: 31
    Welcome !
    You are one of the strongest people I have ever came into contact with , keep your head up beautiful . This is a wonderful site with awesome support
  • babbs23
    babbs23 Posts: 11
    Hugs to you and yours.....so many things I want you to know....everyone grieves in their own way......your way is just as good as any other. It helps to put all that pent up emotion and energy to good use. Be careful of the night time....easy to get lost in the emotions when it is dark and you are tired...everything feels bigger! Best time to take a walk, lift some weights, run the treadmill, use the eliptical....you get it! Healthy eats will be your friend! So will a support group......MFP may be as helpful as any other......when you get your story out there, you begin to hear other stories. There are more of us out there that have lost children then many people realize. Be kind to yourself, talk when you need to, even if it makes those around you uncomfortable (they'll get used to it!)

    Finally, add me if you would like and I'll share my story with you if you are interested. My perspective may be unique......not only have I suffered a loss myself but I am also a nurse that works in Labor and Delivery. Take good care...

    Barbara
  • jorden25
    jorden25 Posts: 19
    Welcome to MFP! ((HUGS)) to you!
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    I lost one, too. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Best advice I can give you? Be kind to yourself. Eat and drink well, and begin the healing process from the inside out. Try yoga, and walking as your body repairs and you know, therapy & grief counseling are great things to do for your mind.

    ((hugs)) to you and yours!
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    I think it's so brilliant that you are finding the positives! My niece died young, and I spent a lot of time supporting my brother and his wife - no-one can really know how it feels, but I did get some insight into it then.

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