Lost the baby.. Now losing the weight.

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Replies

  • pbl1966
    pbl1966 Posts: 207 Member
    I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy. Please take the time to grieve and take care of yourself, I have lost 4 plus a twin to my second son. I now have three healthy (but loud!!) boys so know that all things are possible. Take care of yourself and the sweet little boy you have.
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
    I am truly sorry for your loss, and admire that you are focused on the future. I am sure you will achieve all of your goals.
  • eileenmchu
    eileenmchu Posts: 1
    My heart goes out to you.!
    I really feel for you right now and think that you are making a very good decision in deciding to get up and go and to improve your body and mind rather than dwelling on this pain for too much longer, as neither your partner or two children want that!
    Healthy eating and excercise will make you feel great and look great too.
    Best of luck! xx
  • cutethang1
    cutethang1 Posts: 239 Member
    I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know you are NOT alone. I am still going through a loss (missed miscarriage). Our baby had no heartbeat. I gained 15-20 lbs while being on meds trying to conceive and after our loss. Trying to get back to where I was. We can/will do this! Add me if you would like to stay connected. Either way. All the best and Good luck!!
  • dynamicwon
    dynamicwon Posts: 175 Member
    So sorry to hear of your loss. The same thing happened to a family member of mine about 18 years ago. I know the exercise will help. I belong to a gym and my friends there really help me get through tough times. Hang in there and stay healthy for your son and angel baby.
  • final10
    final10 Posts: 69 Member
    Caressa,

    Big Huge Hug. My daughter died when she was 3 weeks old after open heart surgery. She had rare congenital heart defeats that we didn't even know about until we were about to take her home from the hospital. She would have been 3 now.

    I know exactly how you feel about wanting to lose the weight. I just had a baby that I gained 50+lbs with and looked like I had a baby but no baby to carry around in those baby wraps I had for her. I didn't leave the house much, except I started going to a gym near my house. At first I just sat there, sometimes crying in the locker room if no one was around. Eventually I hired a personal trainer for a few sessions to get me started exercising. I couldn't afford it but at least she got me moving, soon after I started taking the classes at the gym. Maybe a month or so later I started dieting too.

    My husband and I went to a place here called Kindermourn, a support for grieving parents or children. That helped but I can tell you that exercise and the changes in my body were the only thing in my life I had control over at the time. Sometimes I would go to a class and at the beginning I would want to start crying and walk out but I would stick with it and leave feeling better, as best as you can, you know.

    Long story short, I lost all the weight before I got pregnant again about 8 months later.
  • rosarenee1
    rosarenee1 Posts: 271 Member
    Hi everyone. I'm new around here, and just starting out in getting back into good shape.

    My name is Caressa, I'm 21, and from the pacific northwest. I'm 5'8 and 197 lbs, and I want to get down to about 155,160 or so. I'm a married stay at home Mom to a fantastic little boy that will be 2 on May 5th, and an angel baby.

    2 weeks ago, I was 23 weeks pregnant. I was carrying a little boy named Ryder Anthony, and Ryder had a rare chromosomal abnormality called Ring 13, along with a congenital heart defect. Had he lived, he would have required open heart surgery but instead, he earned his angel wings on 4-14-12.

    I'm only 1 week, 3 days post partum so my body is still recovering, however it was a perfect, no complications delivery so I'll be clear to start working out this weekend. I want to get my body in tip top shape ASAP.. I was sedentary for most of the pregnancy so I've gained more than I'd like to have, and I can't stand looking like I've recently had a baby and yet have no baby to show for it. So I think part of the healing process for me is to grieve through exercise, if that makes any sense. Plus, in about 6-8 months or so, my husband and I would like to try again to have a healthy baby. I want to be in the best possible health at that point.

    Anyways, I'm sure I'll need a ton of support along the way. I'll probably be around these forums often, so I look forward to getting to know you guys along the way :)

    Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that is a difficult process for you. :( I think wanting to get healthy before having another child is a great idea and especially utilizing exercise as a form of grief therapy. Good luck!!
  • dreanance
    dreanance Posts: 246
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy at 12 weeks and my second at 6. I began running after my first miscarriage and it helped me so much. Good luck to you :)
  • stephc0711
    stephc0711 Posts: 1,022 Member
    Welcome to MFP! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
    MFP has some amazing, supportive people that will definately help you along your way. Feel free to add me, if you want!
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    awww welcome!!
    this site is great, awesome people and support and a really great way to get into a healthier place!!
    i wish you the best of the luck in your travels to a healthier life and we are always here if you need us!
  • Mandired78
    Mandired78 Posts: 69
    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Feel free to add me if you need support on your weight loss journey. Sending prayers your way.
  • coullmom
    coullmom Posts: 133 Member
    so very sorry to hear about your loss! I can't even imagine how hard that would be! {{hugs}}
  • TrumpetTinklers
    TrumpetTinklers Posts: 6 Member
    I too have lost a baby, so I completely feel for you. I, too, am losing weight to hopefully gain a baby! :)
    GOOD LUCK!!
  • racebelle88
    racebelle88 Posts: 21
    So sorry for your loss.Good luck on your weight loss.
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you a friend request, feel free to add me! I'm on here everyday and try to offer encouragement and congrats as much as possible. My goal is to lose 50 pounds, then I'll see how I look and what I want to do from there. I'd love to follow your weight loss journey and wish you and your husband the best when you try for another baby! My husband and I will be trying to have another baby later this year as well :)
  • megteg
    megteg Posts: 97 Member
    I have a friend who just went through losing their child. I'm so sorry for your loss! I don't have much advice other than just keep at it and take it one day at a time! Best of luck as you learn the ropes and work towards a healthy life :)
  • kpittman0612
    kpittman0612 Posts: 84
    I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and then another one at 4 weeks. I wish you luck on your journey.
  • cbl40
    cbl40 Posts: 281 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Exercise can be a wonderful healer. Hugs to you...
  • annew1952
    annew1952 Posts: 77 Member
    Welcome Caressa Sorry for your loss. You have a lot of people here who are supportive in every way.
    Good luck with your journey to healthy living. We are all here if you need us. We are all your new friends. Take
    care of yourself and your son and hubby.
  • mstreff
    mstreff Posts: 3
    Hugs from another angel mon. My second child was stillborn 5 years ago at 36 weeks gestation. I wish I had had the desire and motivation to get to working out after my loss. I might not be working quite so hard now. I think it's wonderful that you are going to have exercise as a release. Hugs to you!!
  • NGMama
    NGMama Posts: 384 Member
    Sending you all sorts of love and healing vibes. We lost our first baby to an ectopic pregnancy at ten weeks. I remember sobbing in the weight room. Like you, getting on track helped me to grieve. You're most welcome to add me. I love sharing the journey toward health with others.

    Gentle hugs coming your way.

    And MFPs, these two pages have really touched my heart.

    Peace.
  • misalillstead
    misalillstead Posts: 407 Member
    *Hugs* to all the angel moms! Feel free to add me.
  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
    I'm sorry for your loss i haven't lost a child as you have but when i lost a close friend in Afghanistan i hit the gym hard and it helped me through the pain. Good Luck to you I hope you find some peace and solace and achieve your goals.
  • mandatory
    mandatory Posts: 6
    my sympathies... to you all.. you angel moms... i am one also.... lost my adam... but lost is a funny word.. actually i think we may lose them but God did not,He accepted them back to heaven..

    blessings..
  • onyx1972
    onyx1972 Posts: 133 Member
    WOW! I am so sorry for your loss.. I have four angel babies... none were as far along as your precious angel Ryder however.. I have been overweight my whole life.. and I can understand how you feel that you just want to have control and get back to it and get healthy. Congrats to you... Make sure you give your body , mind, soul and heart time to process and heal. Your journey will be a success and I wish you the very best of luck today and always...
  • cbascomb83
    cbascomb83 Posts: 36 Member
    I lost my twin girls at 22 weeks 6 days on May 3rd 2008. To this day I still think about them all the time. The pain you feel will never go away but you do learn to live with it. I'm so very sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to add me. I wish you the best of luck in both your weight loss and your healing <3
  • miss_sparrow
    miss_sparrow Posts: 3
    WOW this really is a supportive community. :)

    I'm so sorry to hear about all the losses so many of you have experienced. It's something nobody should have to go through. But it means a lot to me that you're willing to share your stories and open arms.

    I'm trying not to rush (or repress) my grieving but I'm definitely anxious to have the medical go ahead to throw myself into exercise, it's going to feel good to push my body in a positive way and see what it can really do. I've been overweight too long and if I can't lift the weight off my heart I can at least take the weight off my butt, hips, and thighs... lol.

    Thank you all so much for reaching out. Like I said before, I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I am Sorry to hear about Ryder. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I have never lost a child but I lost a furbaby who was like my child since the say she was born. I am always on MFP so you are welcome to add me as a friend :)
  • Billywoo
    Billywoo Posts: 141 Member
    *Hugs* to all the angel moms! Feel free to add me.

    And Angel Dads? Its not any easier on us... Just sayin...
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    caressa, you inspire me by being here after a tough loss and wanting to grieve in a healthy way. i am here to support you, if you'd like to add me. i don't know what it's like to be a mom but i do know what it's like to have hardships (i'll be 5 years sober in july!). your 2 year old has a fantastic mom.
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