Weight loss sabotage- do you hide your eating?

xarla16
xarla16 Posts: 84 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I will soon be going back to university and I know the type of comments that are going to come from my classmates (my class consists of 38 women and 1 man).I have lost 17lbs since I saw any of them 4 months ago, but my goal is to lose another 19 lbs. I know that even if I don't tell them I'm trying to lose weight, they are going to make comments about my small portion sizes as my time at school is very busy and we normally end up eating at least one meal a day together. I know this might sound rather negative, as it hasn't even started yet, but I know these people very well. I can almost hear the comments about me weighing out my portions echoing in my ears already.

Do you have to deal with people in your daily routine, making comments that you make you feel bad about losing weight? Do you ever feel like hiding the fact that you're losing weight?
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Replies

  • becca183
    becca183 Posts: 3 Member
    dont' EVER feel bad or embarassed about trying to get healthy!! if you have a thick skin, then just state that this is the way it is and this is your goal and you'd appreciate it if they would help out and not make rude comments!! if you don't have a thick skin, then i would just not eat that meal with them. focus on your goal and get rid of everything that is making you stumble...especially negative thoughts and rude people! good luck!:flowerforyou:
  • slrrese
    slrrese Posts: 180 Member
    I am sorry that your friends/classmates are like that. My husband is very supportive but he does comment sometimes that I go "overboard" on counting calories. I don't care, I just ignore anyone who says something contrary to what I am trying to do and do what I want. In the end, you live with your choices, your health and your body so YOU are the only one who knows and can commit to what you want for yourself. You can do it weather they support you or not if it is something that you really want and are committed to. YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I don't ever come across that. Maybe it's beach living, where everyone want to be in their bathing suit, so it's just kind of understood that were all kind of watching it.

    Why would people say things like that? I don't get it.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Despite the fact that I'm pretty open, doesn't mean that everything is game all the time. I get you.
  • jak2315
    jak2315 Posts: 47 Member
    Quite frankly, it's NONE of their business. You do what makes you feel good about yourself. If you need to weigh or measure out your food, then do it. If they are your friends, they'll support you.
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
    YOu pry already look awesome and I think they might compliment you to your surprise. Keep doing what you are doing and if they comment so be it! you are better than that and doing this for yourself not them :)
  • steflbrown
    steflbrown Posts: 168
    I understand this completely. My co-workers think I'm crazy for being so careful about my calories. I bring a lunch every day and I have everything sized out in portions. They always say I'm not eating enough - but my lunch is my biggest meal of the day! I always feel pleasantly full after lunch and don't usually crave any snacks until dinner. They always tease me because right after eating I immediately come and long my calories. They now have attempted to lock me out of my office or computer to make me stop. I don't understand their actions because I am doing this to make me healthy. And I feel better. So I just keep on doing it - because regardless of what they do, I know that I'm doing this for me!
  • Chelle_Davis
    Chelle_Davis Posts: 241
    Quite frankly, it's NONE of their business. You do what makes you feel good about yourself. If you need to weigh or measure out your food, then do it. If they are your friends, they'll support you.

    This!!!
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    I hide my eating, but only when I'm eating poorly! LOL.

    I have friends tell me I need to eat more, but my response is usually that I can't eat anything other than what I have because of my food allergy! I really do have a food allergy, but I'm sure it would work anyway! :bigsmile: I only just found out that I have a food allergy, so people are being very patient with me while I figure out what I can and can't eat.

    Don't let them bother you. And more importantly, don't imagine what they'll say. You'll only make yourself stressed! Just do it, and if anyone says something you tell them you're trying to get an accurate accounting of everything you eat and drink! They don't have to know why.
  • gin_gin
    gin_gin Posts: 184
    I didnt tell my mother I was dieting last time I sat down at the table to eat with her she said it looked like I had put on weight
    and then when someone told her I was dieting she's like why you wanna do that for so......

    just don't worry what everyone else thinks you're doing this for yourself not them they dont like it because
    you're portioning your food then can look the other way
  • mayerel
    mayerel Posts: 254 Member
    That's tough!! I would hope most friends and family would be supportive of our efforts, but alas, I know they often are not. My husband is great, until he wants to go out for dinner to the Fry-fest!

    I would politely tell them thanks for their comments but you're doing what is best for you, they can support it or not, it's their choice, but you've made yours!

    Great job on losing 17 lbs!!
  • waffleflavoredtea
    waffleflavoredtea Posts: 235 Member
    just tell them you are trying to eat small amounts but much more often! Tell them you feel more energized that way or whatever. Women can get pretty aggressive when they've learned you've lost weight and they haven't. Try to keep the topic off weight, and don't mention that you want to lose more, maybe just say you are working on building muscle. You need to find things to focus on about them, in conversations, to take the topic off the ol' "have you been eating" thing. lol people can be so rude about weight, just keep it light and don't elaborate too much (I know it's hard not to when your focus has been on it consistently)
  • tat2dmrsgrimm
    tat2dmrsgrimm Posts: 226 Member
    I ignore it. My husband, our kids and my parents all live together. I measure out my portions. I usually eat like HALF of my protein and then my vegetables, then maybe some of whatever carbohydrate I served then back to my meat. A lot of times I am leaving food behind and I get very excited to be full and not have cleaned my plate. My mother makes fun of me which is irritating since she is trying to lose weight as well!
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
    My mother gets down on me about that, actually. She finds my weighing food 'obsessive' and silly that I log my food. However, she can't find a lot to complain about since I hit the "lost 55 lbs" mark. I have actually found myself justifying to other ppl that I am watching my weight and feel defensive about their perception of the fat chick who is eating 5 times a day. All I can tell you is that 1- dont be ashamed, embarrassed, or upset at your peers opinion of you and what you are doing to control your food intake in that amazing effort to lose weight. Chin up, and remind yourself that you aren't doing it for their approval (or disapproval, for that matter.) You are doing this for you. If they have nothing positive to say, or rather nothing except negative remarks to share - then avoid them. You do not have to justify yourself to them, who knows maybe you will find they are doing the same things you are and feeling just as scared or isolated. (Maybe not, but who knows?)

    During a recent hospital stay I discovered a couple of the nurses used MFP regularly, and lost weight and I had a blast sharing stories about weight loss and how MFP helped me out. I could've been embarrassed, or worried about them judging me but who are they? No ones, so let them judge. Turns out they were in the exact same boat as me. That was a great discovery :-)

    You are living for you, and losing for you, and answer to no one but you. Just remember that ;-)
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    What others think and say should not be of importance to what you want for your future and life...
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 109 Member
    I recently had to deal with something similar. My father in law was coming to visit and of course he was going to see me (once again) trying to lose weight. But I faced it straight on, I told him I am doing this for a few months now, I have already achieved a lot and I am doing well.
    Basically take it or leave it attitude-and to my surprise he was extremely supportive. Now his ex wife on the other hand would of been the type to place cookies under my nose. Sometimes you have to just tell them to back off before they even begin to attack you. I have a feeling you already know who will be doing that to you when you return to school. I would make it clear you have goals and are seeing them through before they even begin to 'counsel' you with their opinions on how you should deal with your life/health.
  • Michele7091
    Michele7091 Posts: 256 Member
    I've had people say "how can you measure everything out like that?" to me and I just shrug it off and reply with something like "its not that hard" or "you mean use my measuring cup as a spoon to dip the beans out of the pot?...yeah real hard".
    And I think sometimes its not so much sabatoge as it is admiration or jealousy. Especially if you get results from your efforts. Alot of people probably wish they had the dedication to do that at every meal.
  • sallywilson06
    sallywilson06 Posts: 269 Member
    I've had people say "how can you measure everything out like that?" to me and I just shrug it off and reply with something like "its not that hard" or "you mean use my measuring cup as a spoon to dip the beans out of the pot?...yeah real hard".
    And I think sometimes its not so much sabotage as it is admiration or jealousy. Especially if you get results from your efforts. A lot of people probably wish they had the dedication to do that at every meal.

    This is exactly what goes on I bet.. Most people that are over weight don't like to be overweight alone. If you think about it, they may all be eating out all the time, not worrying about their weight and then you come along and show them how you have lost weight. 17lbs will be noticeable and then they notice that you have just cut down your portion size they may be jealous or envy the fact that you did it and try to bring you down because they are still being piggish and don't want to be all alone.
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    unfortunately yes.... my husband and sometimes my daughters will make comments or offer unsolicited advice. it's annoying, but i still do what i set out to do. it's my body, my mind, and my business. i make sure my daughters see me eat healthy as to not have them question their own habits...mainly because with 3 teenage daughters, it's a slippery slope.
  • JMPerlin
    JMPerlin Posts: 287 Member
    I have to at work, many saboteurs here. In addition the bosses have a lot of customers coming through so there is a lot of food. Its not uncommon to have 10 left over pizzas lying about after the customer lunch. If I happen to wander in during the scavenger feast there is always someone waving a slice of pizza in my face, or in the morning a doughnut.
  • Angie_Fritts
    Angie_Fritts Posts: 263 Member
    I have had issues in the past when I have tried to eat healthier than the people around me and them trying to get me to eat things that aren't what I needed or wanted to be eating. They would make comments such as "oh it's only one cookie it won't hurt you" or "you're on vacation, don't worry about it." My response to them and it worked was "If I was an alcoholic would you be trying to get me to drink one beer, etc." So, if you need to be that frank with your school mates then do it. Don't let anyone sabotage the good you are doing for yourself.
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
    I used to get this at work a lot.
    My co-workers wouldn't even try inviting me to lunch and would say things like "Oh, Melissa brought a HUUUGGEEE salad today so she's can't come out with us."

    Once they saw my success and how dedicated I've been, they quickly changed their tune.

    Don't let anyone stand in the way of your goals.
    You do what you have to to be successful.
    You never know, they just might see your progress and be inspired.
    I've got 4 people from work using MFP now :P
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
    Comments will be made, most likely ... at least initially.

    No, do not hide your healthy lifestyle. There is no shame here, only victory.

    And true friends will support you - and it's those that you need to surround yourself with.
  • vahlkyree
    vahlkyree Posts: 10
    They always tease me because right after eating I immediately come and long my calories. They now have attempted to lock me out of my office or computer to make me stop. I don't understand their actions because I am doing this to make me healthy.

    Wow. If my co-workers did something like that, I would ask them how old they are! That's just stupid, disrespectful and down-right childish!
  • tonyabw
    tonyabw Posts: 17
    Luckily, it's not a problem at work since I am training for a 5 K mud run with 3 friends/co-workers and we're all trying to eat healthier. Also at home it's okay b/c my husband and son are very supportive.

    Other family members are a different story, my mom and aunt will say the right things like "wow, you look great!" and "we're so proud of you" but then they offer me sweets at family gatherings or say things like "well, we could go out to eat but I just don't know what you can have and it gets so complicated" like I am being hard to get along with!

    I agree with everyone who has said just do what's best for you and ignore anyone who's being negative!:glasses:
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 751 Member
    They need not worry about what you’re eating. What you eat doesn't make them **it. I just posted earlier about how I get attacked for wanting to eat healthy, but it’s your life not theirs. Hey, maybe you will motivate them to get healthy as well. Best of luck!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Focus your comments and replies on health, rather than weight. It's much harder for someone to say "you don't need to get any healthier" than it is to say "you don't need to lose any more weight".
  • tonyabw
    tonyabw Posts: 17
    I have had issues in the past when I have tried to eat healthier than the people around me and them trying to get me to eat things that aren't what I needed or wanted to be eating. They would make comments such as "oh it's only one cookie it won't hurt you" or "you're on vacation, don't worry about it." My response to them and it worked was "If I was an alcoholic would you be trying to get me to drink one beer, etc." So, if you need to be that frank with your school mates then do it. Don't let anyone sabotage the good you are doing for yourself.

    I like this reply!!!! I might have to borrow this for my next family gathering!
  • sjohnson887
    sjohnson887 Posts: 1
    This is for you and only you!!!!!!!!! Do not let snide comments get to you if they end up saying something. Friends should not make you feel bad about your goal of losing weight. If they have a problem and give you a hard time, well frankly, I think it is time to upgrade your friends. Just let them know what your goals are, and go from there :D
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
    At first my husband would be like " are you really measuring that?" or" are you really counting out how many nuts/crackers/chips (whatever it was i was counting that day). And I tell him, or anyone else who asks, yes I'm really measuring/counting this. He's totally supportive of me now that he sees I'm sitcking to it and this is what I'm going to be doing every day! You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, but if you must then just tell them you want to be healthier and be the best person you can be. Ignore the haters :)

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