Apologies

twisted88
twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
in Chit-Chat
Why do people insist on a person apologizing even if the person apologizing knows the apology would be insincere, yet if the person insisting on the apology finds out/realizes the apology is insincere then they get butt hurt?

Should someone still apologize even if it will be insincere?

Replies

  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
    Why do people insist on a person apologizing even if the person apologizing knows the apology would be insincere, yet if the person insisting on the apology finds out/realizes the apology is insincere then they get butt hurt?

    Should someone still apologize even if it will be insincere?

    People like imposing their will on others. Why else do kids beat the hell out of each other until one says "uncle"?
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
    People have to have control... It drives me nuts.
  • Mikelobov
    Mikelobov Posts: 44
    Two reasons, the first and more wholesome is that someone like a Mother telling her child to apologize is coming from a place of hope. Hope that the child will realize what he did was wrong, and either by virtue of seeing the other persons reaction to the apology or just taking a second to go over what happened in their head, will give them some sort of a lesson.

    The second reason is to prove dominance over another, if they admit guilt then you were right. People enjoy being right.

    I tend to apologize for things I didn't even do, usually just to get to a remedy faster than worrying about who gets the blame. I'm strong enough to move on from each situation, and sometimes I can tell the other person is not.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I'd rather no apology than one like, "I'm sorry that YOU misunderstood me" or "I'm sorry that YOU were offended by that".
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    I'd rather no apology than one like, "I'm sorry that YOU misunderstood me" or "I'm sorry that YOU were offended by that".

    exactly. also if i have to ask for it then i dont want it.
  • Six6xiS
    Six6xiS Posts: 47 Member
    I apologize for never being sincere...ever.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Why do people keep using the term "butt hurt"
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Sometimes...duh...it's the right thing to do, whether sincere or not.

    It's never wrong to do the right thing....ever!
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    When I think I deserve an apology, it's not about hearing the words "I'm sorry" or even "I was wrong." I just want the other person to recognize that they've done something that hurt me, whether they intended to or not. I apologize when it's clear that the other person has taken what I've said as a personal attack, even if I can't understand how they could have possibly reached that conclusion.

    What I don't get are the people who refuse to apologize under any circumstances, even when it's clear they were out of line.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
    Two reasons, the first and more wholesome is that someone like a Mother telling her child to apologize is coming from a place of hope. Hope that the child will realize what he did was wrong, and either by virtue of seeing the other persons reaction to the apology or just taking a second to go over what happened in their head, will give them some sort of a lesson.

    The second reason is to prove dominance over another, if they admit guilt then you were right. People enjoy being right.

    I tend to apologize for things I didn't even do, usually just to get to a remedy faster than worrying about who gets the blame. I'm strong enough to move on from each situation, and sometimes I can tell the other person is not.

    It happens to be my mother that is insisting (on behalf of my father) funny enough. I know what I did was wrong, but I also know that if I had woken someone up at 2:30 in the morning after being a complete noob that couldn't figure out how to turn off a car interior light, I'd understand if they were b*****y.
    Why do people keep using the term "butt hurt"

    A) because it's funny
    B) because the person is acting like someone shoved a big stick up their butt
    C) just to annoy people like you.

    (Generally I use it because of option b)
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
    Most likely I will apologize. I just needed time to cool down. I just don't understand why people want the apology sooner rather than later (when it might actually be sincere).
  • Expialidojess
    Expialidojess Posts: 441 Member
    I'd rather walk away from someone with no apology than have them say it just because they feel like they have to. I think it can be different for adults than kids, though. I read an article once about forcing children to say they're sorry when they've done something to someone else. Should you make them apologize or just let them walk away and show no remorse? Does forcing them to say it help them learn action and consequence or is it meaningless?
  • Six6xiS
    Six6xiS Posts: 47 Member
    Why do people keep using the term "butt hurt"

    A) because it's funny
    B) because the person is acting like someone shoved a big stick up their butt
    C) just to annoy people like you.

    (Generally I use it because of option b)

    I think it originated with online gaming. The whole idea being being a 'greifer' is to make people 'butthurt'.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
    Why do people keep using the term "butt hurt"

    A) because it's funny
    B) because the person is acting like someone shoved a big stick up their butt
    C) just to annoy people like you.

    (Generally I use it because of option b)

    I think it originated with online gaming. The whole idea being being a 'greifer' is to make people 'butthurt'.

    Thanks for the info. I always like to increase my geeky/nerdy knowledge. (I'm an anti-social gamer, and it shows.)
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Half the time I find myself apologizing just because someone took something I said the wrong way. It never really makes any sense to me.

    Also, I actually hate when people apologize to me. I don't get upset very easily. If you feel like you've hut me or offended me, then don't do it in the first place.

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