What to say when people comment on your weight?

Lobster1987
Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
Ok....I've been obese all my life until now, and I'm starting to get those "you look sick" comments. "You should stop losing weight", "you're too skinny", "you have like no boobs or butt" etc.

I AM JUST BARELY IN THE NORMAL BMI RANGE, PEOPLE!!!! I still have a good 15 pounds to go yet!

I am never good with thinking of snippy comments to shoot back at them.

Do you have any suggestions that I can throw into my mental toolbox? I would like nice ones, witty ones, and just plain *****y ones to have "on hand" for when I need to use them. I suck at coming up with them on my own.
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Replies

  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    I say "thank you"
  • onecutey
    onecutey Posts: 14
    What I would like to say is "your butt, boobs, belly, HEAD, are too big!" But common decency really negates that. I usually go with "I appreciate your concern. My doctor seems to think I am doing quite well." Or thank you, as noted above works also.
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    The people who commented on how I have no butt or boobs are hateful, spiteful people and those comments really hurt my feelings. I really wish I had something good to say next time it happens. I know it's bound to happen again. I want to be able to tell them off, but never know what to say without making myself look like a complete dumbass.
  • rachemn
    rachemn Posts: 407 Member
    I don't have any good suggestions, but I have the same problems...especially about the boobs! I've had boobs even before I became obese and now they're so little! Solved that problem by getting the miraculous bra from Victoria's Secret!! :laugh:
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    My grandma just bought me a bra from JCPenneys and it creates the illusion that I have boobs too! I'd have to sell a kidney to afford one from Victoria's Secret!
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
    I hate when people do that too - I sometimes wonder if people are doing that to be rude because I think it's really rude and hurtful. Just say thank you - it's so hard to not say something back!
  • stepherzzzzz
    stepherzzzzz Posts: 469 Member
    I used to get that a lot when I was younger. My so-called best friend was always telling me I was "so thin it's gross" and "anorexic skinny",which wasn't true at all. I was 5'2" and 100 pounds, I was just a late bloomer and had no boobs or hips (still don't have hips lol) so I guess I looked skinny compared to most of the girls in our class. I never had any comebacks though, I would just hold her arm up next to mine and ask her "If I'm the anorexic one then why are your arms half the size of mine?".
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    People have no manners.....You don't see me coming up to people and tell them to stop gaining weight.....

    Maybe that's one I could use....

    Them: "Wow! You're getting too skinny! You should stop losing weight."
    Me: "Wow! You're getting fat. You should stop gaining weight."
  • AABru
    AABru Posts: 610 Member
    My family thought I was too thin before I had children...only because I was thinner than them. When my Grandmother asked me if I was anorexic (right after a huge thanksgiving dinner), I said, "no Gram, obviously I'm bulemic. I'll puke when everyone is out of hearing range." Could have heard a pin drop. And I was still a 27 BMI! :wink:
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Wow. People suck.

    I get nothing but compliments, as does BigMech (who lost 250+). The people you run into are tools.

    The way to handle these idiots it not to fight back, but assert that you are happy with what you've done, and that YOU are the sole arbiter of what you "should" be.

    Agree weakly:

    "yeah, my boobs might be smaller, but I'm happy with it."
    "yeah, I look skinnier, but have more work to do"
    "I probably look too skinny to you, but I've felt the best in my life"

    And so on. Insist on your right to decide.
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    If they are mean spiteful people then there comments are obviously out of jealousy. Enjoy it!!!!
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I am not happy with my nonexistent boobs and butt. It's a HUGE self-concious issue for me...and when people point it out and think it's funny....is not acceptable to me. :(
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Thtat might be true. We all have things we don't like. But if you like your thinner self more than you dislike the boobage, then that's what you focus on.

    Those were just examples. Focus on your right to judge for yourself.

    You are clearly not flat and pretty. Those people are mean.
  • RahBuhBuh
    RahBuhBuh Posts: 585 Member
    You have come to the right place. Snarkasm (snarky + sarcasm) is my thing.

    Nice

    Thank you so much for noticing.
    I have really been working hard
    That means a lot to me.


    Not so nice - I say stuff like this to friends I can joke with. If you get a black eye from someone, its your own fault :)

    I know right! Boy you aren't getting any skinnier though.
    If you wanted to lose those extra 40, I could show you some stuff that I did when I was extremely out of shape.
    Pretend to wipe a crumb off of them and say, "I just thought it was time to stop being a slob".
    I think the reason I worked so hard is because people are always putting my body shape down.
    It was either boobs and butt or heart disease, but you are looking curvy!
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    Lol- I love it!

    I just wish people wouldn't be so mean.....they commented on how I shouldn't "pig out" when I was fat, and how I "let myself go" and now it's "I have no butt" and "I look sick".

    It's always one thing or another. I'm never good just the way I am. It's so depressing. Its like I'm never good enough for anyone :(
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    It's so hard to regulate my damn self-esteem too. I feel like I should be beaming and feeling beautiful with my new body and confidence but people always shoot it down.... :(
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    People do this to me, too.
    They don't understand that we're HEALTHY. NOT skinny.
    Don't listen to them. If you're feeling good about how you look... Keep feelin' it. The only reason people say stuff like that is because they're jealous.

    You SHOULD be beaming and feeling beautiful, because you ARE beautiful. Don't worry about the haters! (I know it's easier said than done)
  • minime2b
    minime2b Posts: 168
    Lol- I love it!

    I just wish people wouldn't be so mean.....they commented on how I shouldn't "pig out" when I was fat, and how I "let myself go" and now it's "I have no butt" and "I look sick".

    It's always one thing or another. I'm never good just the way I am. It's so depressing. Its like I'm never good enough for anyone :(

    I think you look great...I'm thinking you may be an apple shape which would xplain no butt. I know the feeling, I have no butt or legs and most of my weight is in the belly :explode: I actually had my hubby refer to me as "skinny" this week; at 127 I am no where near skinny. Just stay on your path and know you are beautiful. Congrats on the weight loss!
  • megacy
    megacy Posts: 80 Member
    I know we're not supposed to answer rudeness with more rudeness, so I think of this as more middle of the road. It's a statement, and needs no further comments from anyone, but sometimes it elicits an apology, it may not be sincere, but it makes them see the comment was out of line (although comments to me are for the bigness that is me, rather than the thinness). It's simply "Wow, that was rude." Look at them directly and don't say it rudely, more with hurt, which is a true feeling.
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
    Lol- I love it!

    I just wish people wouldn't be so mean.....they commented on how I shouldn't "pig out" when I was fat, and how I "let myself go" and now it's "I have no butt" and "I look sick".

    It's always one thing or another. I'm never good just the way I am. It's so depressing. Its like I'm never good enough for anyone :(

    You don't have to be good enough for them... just you. That's the best part. :)
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    Maybe just tell them that you also have very little chance of contracting diabetes, heart disease, or high colestorol. Tell them you'll take the no butt and no boobs over a greater chance of dying prematurely. Or just smile and say, "Thank you, I'm becoming happier with my body every day and you are not a determining factor in that happiness."
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    You could say, "What are you looking at my boobs and butt for?" Or "thanks for noticing!"
    Even if you had more to lose, I wouldn't let them know your plan. Just tell them you aren't losing anymore. Maybe they will be quiet.

    Enjoy your new self! :)
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
    I just smile and go "heh" most of the time. I'm freaking normal, but people seem to want to tell me otherwise.
  • Rollingstone74
    Rollingstone74 Posts: 16
    You have to realise your beauty and health achievements and disregard any comments that negate the truth. You will never please society today, so many people are hung up on trends, opinions, that they feel the need to try and enforce what they interpertate as socially acceptable. Returning fire with a smart remark isn't the answer and as you are asking a forum for advice on this, it's obviously not in your character, and can't see it as a positive trait to add. Just be strong and be your true self, your own pride should be enough to overpower the negative generated by hollow souls. On a lighter side, regarding breast, IMO, anymore than a mouthful is a waste (80~
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    Maybe just tell them that you also have very little chance of contracting diabetes, heart disease, or high colestorol. Tell them you'll take the no butt and no boobs over a greater chance of dying prematurely. Or just smile and say, "Thank you, I'm becoming happier with my body every day and you are not a determining factor in that happiness."

    I like this one!
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    . On a lighter side, regarding breast, IMO, anymore than a mouthful is a waste (80~

    LOL :D
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I know. It's totally not in my personality to be rude back. I was always teased growing up so its next to impossible for me to be mean without feeling horrible guilt....but I just want to come out on top of the haters. I wish I was good with saying things that shows them that I am bigger than their cruel words.


    I should try the "Wow. That was rude" comment.
  • WildAngelJoy
    WildAngelJoy Posts: 140 Member
    It's so hard to regulate my damn self-esteem too. I feel like I should be beaming and feeling beautiful with my new body and confidence but people always shoot it down.... :(

    Don't let what others day bring you down!! You SHOULD be beaming and feeling beautiful...losing weight is not an easy accomplishment but you've done it and, from your picture, you look great! It is time to "strut your stuff" :wink: .

    I usually find that when people make rude remarks that it is because they have an agenda (whether they realize it or not!). Such as, somene may want to lose weight or may just not be happy with the way they look and, when they see that you've lost weight and are happy, they say a negative comment...that is "misery loving company". The only person who mentioned my weight gain was a person who had just lost weight herself...I think it made her feel that much better about her weight loss to know that I looked that much bigger!! My hubby needs to lose a few pounds and a guy he knew commented on his heavy tummy...yet this guy was no "Slim Jim" himself. There are so many complex issues around weight/weight loss/weight gain that most people deal with that we have to ignore others' projections and rude comments and keep focused on how far we've come, how happy we are with our looks and becoming healthier in general.

    Personally, I wouldn't comment back to any negative remark...that is feeding right into what a that person wants to hear. If you want to say anything, I would just say to stay positive. Something like, "I'm happy with my progress, my body and my health" :smile: .
  • xandreinax
    xandreinax Posts: 17
    Totally agreed !!! DON'T LET NO ONE STOP YOU! ... just laugh show them you don't care ... tell them while you laugh "thanks i guess will have to start saving money to get a boob job" and walk away... life is too short to let people steal your happiness

    Sticks and stones :)
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I;m really good at letting others steal my happiness. I'm working on it though.
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