Ashamed of gaining all the weight back. Back again on MFP

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Mawra
Mawra Posts: 37 Member
in Introduce Yourself
A year ago, I had lost 70+ pounds at MFP and then life took over and I started neglecting myself. Maybe, the thought that i have already lost 3/4th of my goal weight, was comforting and i started indulging the way i used to. I also suffered from a body image syndrome and although, I'm in love with the most beautiful person on earth, my boyfriend almost always encouraged me to eat. According to him I was fussing over nothing and should eat properly but i guess i equated eating properly with indulging.

I have seriously lost all the motivation because i guess i put in everything i had to lose such a huge number, the first time. I'm back again because on my 23rd birthday (on May 2nd) I want to quit crying over this mistake. I want to control my eating habits and life and not the other way round. Looking for tons of support!

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  • mystic_elegance
    mystic_elegance Posts: 258 Member
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    We have to learn to love ourselves for who we are and not just who we want to be. I am sorry to hear you gained after a large loss but if you love yourself it will make it easier to lose the weight and keep it off. Please dont take offense. I am merely worried because I used to be the same way when I was younger. The more we beat ourselves up over our weight the harder the journey is. I wish you good luck and hope nothing but the best for you. Your young and have so much to live for, 70 pounds heavier or not.
  • TeaRexParty
    TeaRexParty Posts: 125 Member
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    About 11 years ago now I had my first real success at losing weight and lost about 80lbs. At the time I thought wow I've finally conquered it and I'll never gain it back. And then I did. I'm not saying this to discourage you but to let you know you're not alone in this. I know how disheartening it can be to have worked so hard only to be back at square one.

    But I've read many success stories on this site and some others of people who have had the same experience and then finally somehow got it right once and for all. So don't give up :) Btw my birthday is May 10th so YAY for may babies :D
  • Vonstermommy
    Vonstermommy Posts: 9 Member
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    Oh, sweetie, Im concerned! Dont be offended but please seek help. You do not need to be alone!
  • sheguay
    sheguay Posts: 14
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    I am 53. I had conquered the worst of the eating disorders, ie, bulimia, many years ago and as anyone with eating disorders knows, if self is not the priority, self loses and in my case food indulgence wins...my inbred desire for 'comfort', ie my eating, is my enemy. I do get discouraged with myself...a dangerous place for me to be because of my wide array of emotions. I cycle in the order of the 'bucket' syndrome where I convince myself that I do not care about me and I lay the indulgence or the stressors at the feet of others be it people places or things. Recently I lost 25 lbs of the 70 I wished to lose and then trauma drama hit my door and I gave in to 'indulgence'...forget my woes or cares and EAT to my hearts content. In my case this time it was M & Ms, fudge, pizza, subs, etc...can you see where I am going???!! I need to tell on me so that I am accountable to someone other than me because when my ego is bruised or my id is off balance, I am my own worst enemy. Soooo, here I am introduced in the raw. Hang in there girl...it can get better. I am my best saboteur...how dare I feel good about me!!!!!??!! I take back that inner power and give myself to an anonymous online site. Its all good...Its another new beginning...tI believe telling how I feel is a great start...good luck to us!
  • adietron
    adietron Posts: 155
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    There's no shame in gaining weight... our bodies are designed (by evolution) to do just that. Maintaining weight loss is even harder than losing weight to begin with, so there's no shame in that either! You are NOT alone in your struggles, and every meal/minute of the day is an OPPORTUNITY to love yourself by making healthy choices... for a LIFETIME of happiness.

    Seeking professional help might be a good option, but I can tell you from experience, there's nothing that helps clear away negative thoughts and improve self-image like exercise.

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