Center of Attention
Brechin89
Posts: 92
Introduce myself... I'm 22y/o male 5'4" I currently weigh 160 my goal is to weigh 145 of lean muscle by the end of June. I've cut back on my calorie intake a lot and started going back to the gym. My purpose of wanting to get fit is basically for the ladies. Everyday I feel like I'm not attractive enough for my girlfriend. So I want to make it to where i'm desired by every one. "no homo guys"
Look forward burning some calories together.
Look forward burning some calories together.
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Replies
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at least you can admit you want to be the center of attention! haha!
Secretly my goal is the same...if every man in the room is drooling over my assets, the BF will have to step up and claim his territory
That sounds so hawt and SOOOOOOOOOOO NOT FEMINIST.
Hahaha!
ok. I also just want to be strong and healthy and stick it to all the people who told me that I could never have 6 pack abs. It'll be so good to shove it in their faces as well
Welcome. Your goals are totally achievable. YOu will have NO PROBLEMS!0 -
What an odd introduction.0
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What an odd introduction.
Agreed. Lol. Can't get him for false advertising though...0 -
10 points for honesty0
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an odd intro but at least honesty is in there. thats points for yeah 0
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I love the "no homo" and the middle finger. Forget about looks, your girlfriend really has a keeper with personality!0
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"no homo guys"
But you said everyone?
now I'm just confused, you want to look good so the ladies start staring but not good enough to attract other men. that's going to be hard but good luck.0 -
I love the "no homo" and the middle finger. Forget about looks, your girlfriend really has a keeper with personality!
WINNING0 -
lol!0
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"no homo guys"
:huh:
That was the most gay comment ive heard all day0 -
"no homo guys"
:huh:
That was the most gay comment ive heard all day
To OP poster: Me thinks thou doth protest too much.0 -
You know what else makes it hard to get laid? Using the wrong version of "your" vs. "you're".0
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What an odd introduction.
Agreed. Lol. Can't get him for false advertising though...
Indeed!!!0 -
glad everyone liked it. I've been having a battle with girlfriend lately. Trying to get her to be more affectionate. I cook dinner before she gets home, I clean the house, I pay the bills, hell when she gets off work and its been raining outside I got fresh clothes out of the dryer so she can warm up... So I've tried a lot of different things. The only thing that I think will work is this so. I'm on for a journey i guess.0
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"no homo guys"
But you said everyone?
now I'm just confused, you want to look good so the ladies start staring but not good enough to attract other men. that's going to be hard but good luck.
lol well guys can look and say too. But I'm not the one for them to touch.0 -
You know what else makes it hard to get laid? Using the wrong version of "your" vs. "you're".
Thank you for pointing that out.! Now its going to be hard for everyone to tell that I'm actually a college graduate.
Real note, the modern day females that I have saved to my phone have corrupted my typing soul by using short words and using abbreviations.0 -
Here here on the your, you're! Big pet peeve!0
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You know what else makes it hard to get laid? Using the wrong version of "your" vs. "you're".
Thank you for pointing that out.! Now its going to be hard for everyone to tell that I'm actually a college graduate.
Real note, the modern day females that I have saved to my phone have corrupted my typing soul by using short words and using abbreviations.
Only you are responsible for your grammar and spelling. Google that *kitten* as a refresher.0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
Also, if you want to gain muscle, you may want to increase your calories but continue to eat healthy and ensure you have a lot of protein in your diet.
good luck!0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
Also, if you want to gain muscle, you may want to increase your calories but continue to eat healthy and ensure you have a lot of protein in your diet.
good luck!
I did state that, however I feel if I looked better she would be more affectionate.
Not really looking to gain muscle. I'm already bigger than most guys my height. I just want to turn my fat into muscle. Which will happen with strength training vs, bulking. I could easily eat healthier but lets face it. Most healthy foods suck. So I just figure if I set my calorie intake level down and just keep lifting I should get the results I want within 3 months. I could be wrong I'm not a professional.0 -
Seriously guy??? I think the problem isn't you, but her. True change must come from within yourself, not wanting to make her treat you differently. What if you get to the point you want to be at, and nothing changes? Will you then figure it out that she isn't worth your time and move on to someone who cares about you for exactly who you are, and will appreciate the things you do for her?
I tell you... some people.
Change for yourself.
And I think the best change you could do for yourself... get a new girlfriend.0 -
Seriously guy??? I think the problem isn't you, but her. True change must come from within yourself, not wanting to make her treat you differently. What if you get to the point you want to be at, and nothing changes? Will you then figure it out that she isn't worth your time and move on to someone who cares about you for exactly who you are, and will appreciate the things you do for her?
I tell you... some people.
Change for yourself.
And I think the best change you could do for yourself... get a new girlfriend.
if nothing changes I will stick it out till the very end regardless. The reasons why relationships don't work is because people don't make the relationship a priority. I never said she doesn't love me, I just want more affection. To feel desirable.
But to truly answer your question, if things don't change and we keep arguing over this and she decides to leave. Then I will have no problem moving on after I recover from the break up of course.0 -
Hate to break it to you but she isn't going to treat you any differently if youre 300 lbs or a 130 lb Abercrombie model. She is the way she is. You will have more success doing this health change for YOU. You're going to end up disappointed by her lack of attention for the amount of effort you're putting in.
I'd also venture to bet most women on here would back me in saying that looks utterly don't matter in the end and that you're going about fixing your relationship completely wrong, but good luck.0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
I have to agree with this..if she is not affectionate changing your looks probably won't make that big a difference if any difference at all. You have to decide if her not being affectionate enough if something you can live with..0 -
Hate to break it to you but she isn't going to treat you any differently if youre 300 lbs or a 130 lb Abercrombie model. She is the way she is. You will have more success doing this health change for YOU. You're going to end up disappointed by her lack of attention for the amount of effort you're putting in.
I'd also venture to bet most women on here would back me in saying that looks utterly don't matter in the end and that you're going about fixing your relationship completely wrong, but good luck.
Well what else is their to do? I bring her flowers, I take her warm dinner to work, one time i cut out a bunch of hearts and wrote sweet silly stuff on them and taped them to her car, i leave her letters etc... we've talked about it which usually makes her cry because she says "My love isn't good enough" and in reality her love is plenty, her affection is scarce.
More than likely you are right. I will still be disappointed by her lack of attention for the amount of effort I put into everything not just getting fit. However it can't hurt things and can only make things better.0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
I have to agree with this..if she is not affectionate changing your looks probably won't make that big a difference if any difference at all. You have to decide if her not being affectionate enough if something you can live with..
I have no problem living with it.... But keeping the lack of feeling desired and lack of affection bottled up inside of me will be the problem. I haven't ever thought of cheating but I have seen this as a problem for many guys in many relationships and all of them usually end up cheating on their spouse. I don't want to be the guy who ends up cheating because of this problem we have. I know its as simple as "well don't cheat" but in reality these things happen everyday.
guy meets girl
guy and girl kiss
guy and girl move in together
girl slowly stops kissing guy
guy feels depressed
random chick brightens guys day up
random chick sleeps with guy...0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
I have to agree with this..if she is not affectionate changing your looks probably won't make that big a difference if any difference at all. You have to decide if her not being affectionate enough if something you can live with..
I have no problem living with it.... But keeping the lack of feeling desired and lack of affection bottled up inside of me will be the problem. I haven't ever thought of cheating but I have seen this as a problem for many guys in many relationships and all of them usually end up cheating on their spouse. I don't want to be the guy who ends up cheating because of this problem we have. I know its as simple as "well don't cheat" but in reality these things happen everyday.
guy meets girl
guy and girl kiss
guy and girl move in together
girl slowly stops kissing guy
guy feels depressed
random chick brightens guys day up
random chick sleeps with guy...
^^This is a problem if your midnset is already this way. Marriage (which I am assuming is where you are hoping to take this since you have talked about spouses) is hard, hard work and that means knowing your spouse. You both have to put in the hard work, and her personality may just not be an effectionate one. She needs to work on being able to show you affection, just as you need to know what her triggers are that make her feel loved. Both of you should read "Love Languages". Everyone grew up in different situations and experienced love by their family and in their atmosphere in different ways. Your love language sounds like it might be both physical touch and words of affirmation, that is what best speaks loving action to you. It sounds like physical touch is not her love language and so she may not understand how truly important it is to you.
Long lasting relationships, marriage, etc, is not a cake walk (there are very rare instances, but even they have to figure out this stuff) and it takes work on both parties. It is important that your physical well being is not based off of her reaction to you, however, because then it will never be your goal.
Just my two cents...0 -
I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
I have to agree with this..if she is not affectionate changing your looks probably won't make that big a difference if any difference at all. You have to decide if her not being affectionate enough if something you can live with..
I have no problem living with it.... But keeping the lack of feeling desired and lack of affection bottled up inside of me will be the problem. I haven't ever thought of cheating but I have seen this as a problem for many guys in many relationships and all of them usually end up cheating on their spouse. I don't want to be the guy who ends up cheating because of this problem we have. I know its as simple as "well don't cheat" but in reality these things happen everyday.
guy meets girl
guy and girl kiss
guy and girl move in together
girl slowly stops kissing guy
guy feels depressed
random chick brightens guys day up
random chick sleeps with guy...
^^This is a problem if your midnset is already this way. Marriage (which I am assuming is where you are hoping to take this since you have talked about spouses) is hard, hard work and that means knowing your spouse. You both have to put in the hard work, and her personality may just not be an effectionate one. She needs to work on being able to show you affection, just as you need to know what her triggers are that make her feel loved. Both of you should read "Love Languages". Everyone grew up in different situations and experienced love by their family and in their atmosphere in different ways. Your love language sounds like it might be both physical touch and words of affirmation, that is what best speaks loving action to you. It sounds like physical touch is not her love language and so she may not understand how truly important it is to you.
Long lasting relationships, marriage, etc, is not a cake walk (there are very rare instances, but even they have to figure out this stuff) and it takes work on both parties. It is important that your physical well being is not based off of her reaction to you, however, because then it will never be your goal.
Just my two cents...
I just wish she would see it and understand it and work on it. Everything you said is exactly how I see everything.0 -
She is not going to just see it. She will have to understand what "it" is, if she doesn't know it exists, she won't see it and she won't know what to work on. It is also up to you to understand her and to work on understanding her. Perhaps some counseling to help you both communicate it and with each other. It never hurts to have an professional clarify things.I don't think you should have to change your appearance in order for her to give you the affection you want. My fiance showed me the same kind of affection when I was fat and now that I've lost 30 lbs...In your profile you say that she is just not an affectionate person, so changing your appearance isn't going to change the way she is...
I have to agree with this..if she is not affectionate changing your looks probably won't make that big a difference if any difference at all. You have to decide if her not being affectionate enough if something you can live with..
I have no problem living with it.... But keeping the lack of feeling desired and lack of affection bottled up inside of me will be the problem. I haven't ever thought of cheating but I have seen this as a problem for many guys in many relationships and all of them usually end up cheating on their spouse. I don't want to be the guy who ends up cheating because of this problem we have. I know its as simple as "well don't cheat" but in reality these things happen everyday.
guy meets girl
guy and girl kiss
guy and girl move in together
girl slowly stops kissing guy
guy feels depressed
random chick brightens guys day up
random chick sleeps with guy...
^^This is a problem if your midnset is already this way. Marriage (which I am assuming is where you are hoping to take this since you have talked about spouses) is hard, hard work and that means knowing your spouse. You both have to put in the hard work, and her personality may just not be an effectionate one. She needs to work on being able to show you affection, just as you need to know what her triggers are that make her feel loved. Both of you should read "Love Languages". Everyone grew up in different situations and experienced love by their family and in their atmosphere in different ways. Your love language sounds like it might be both physical touch and words of affirmation, that is what best speaks loving action to you. It sounds like physical touch is not her love language and so she may not understand how truly important it is to you.
Long lasting relationships, marriage, etc, is not a cake walk (there are very rare instances, but even they have to figure out this stuff) and it takes work on both parties. It is important that your physical well being is not based off of her reaction to you, however, because then it will never be your goal.
Just my two cents...
I just wish she would see it and understand it and work on it. Everything you said is exactly how I see everything.0 -
My boyfriend doesn't give me any attention. He always is on his computer, laptop, phone, ipad etc. We can never be together without him being on one of those things.
Weird thing is I want to get fit and lose weight and he is against it! He says he wants my body the way it is now. So, even if I lost the weight I wouldn't get any more attention as I would now.
I think this is the same in your case. Your weight doesn't matter. It's her personality and how she treats others.0
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