Alright, here's an awkward topic but I need advice/insight

If I have a REALLY STRONG cup of coffee, I end up in the bathroom going before I am finished drinking the cup:)

I go usually about once or twice a day.
But I used to be like you, infact, I used to go even less [ a couple times a month ]. It was horrible but a lot of it had to do with diet and dehydration.
Eventually I had to have surgery. This happened when I was 6 years old so I can't remember all the details but it went on from a very young age until I was about 11 years old even after the surgery.
Please see a doctor. They'll point you in the right direction because my cause may have been different than what yours is.
Good luck!

I've had a discussion with my mother-in-law every time she visits about what is the most healthy way of pooping. She insists that pooping several times a day is the absolute pinnacle of healthiness (mostly because she does it, therefore it must be the best way to go about it.) I know that it's fine for some people to go up to three days without pooping, and as long as the stool isn't too hard or large to pass (straining is the key), then that can be perfectly normal, as well.

For instance, I only go about every other day to every two days. I've been that way since I was small, and I don't have issues; my body is just slower at processing things. My daughter is the same way. Nothing wrong with it, so long as it's not painful or really dry.

Now, two weeks, or even a week, is MUCH too long, especially if you have pain, swelling, and other issues, which you obviously do. You run the risk of having an impacted bowel, which is NOT fun, and can also have you run the risk of going septic, should complications arise. It's not a good scenario, and I would second all the sentiments that say get to a doctor.

The liquid you drink before a colonoscopy has helped you go, but it also has probably wiped out your good gut bacteria. You really need to restore this with some good quality probiotics, the ones that have to be stored in the fridge. This is one of many important steps you need to take.

Have you had this since childhood? My nephew was born with a slow-moving system. Not knowing any better, his mother mixed oat bran with his pear baby food to try to help him, but it caused his poo to be like concrete. Several months and several doctors later, he was finally on the right treatment of a liquid medicine called "Lactulose." It is a form of sugar that is not metabolized, but stays in the digestive tract until it reaches the colon. There, it draws moisture into the stools. It has no side effects, and twelve years later, he is still taking a low dose and doing well.

The pediatric gastroenerologist said that because he had been constipated for so long, his colon had a very large, flabby shape and tone. She predicted it would take years for it to regain it's normal function. While recovering, he had to take a large doses of lactulose so that he always had loose stools that would come out easily and not collect in the colon.

In other words, the colon needs a constant and complete break from collecting hard stools in order to regain its natural shape and function.

Please insist that your doctor give you this medicine immediately, or another like it. It is costly, and insurance doesn't like to cover it, so you may have to push for it. Also insist on a complete evaluation of your colon by a specialist.

I hope all will be going well for you soon

Don't know if anyone mentioned this (I didn't read through all the pages) but a few years ago I started having this problem too and used ColonBlow. I know we aren't supposed to advertise but it worked great for me. It tastes disgusting but I got past it because it worked so well. In the past seven years I purchased two rounds of it (3 times each round) and it gets things running smooth again. I always thought there was something wrong with me but it was like the ColonBlow rebooted my system and made me normal. I love that so manypeople posted on this. We talk about poop all the time at my house because we want everyone to be regular!! Good luck to you!

My son has had some constipation problems (he's in grade school). Our family doctor had me take him off apple juice completely and give him white grape or pear juice instead, limit his milk/dairy intake and give him MiraLax -stool softener- as needed to keep him regular. Her explanation was that when you get constipated you literally stretch your colon. Even once you do poop, your body will have to fill that stretched out section of colon each time after that. It takes a while for it to shrink back to its normal size. She suggested I give him the MiraLax every other day until we had him going every 2-3 days and then to continue with it once or twice a week for another month to make sure the colon has time to recover. We did that over 6 months ago and it has worked great for us. Now, it it's been 2 days and he hasn't gone he tells me and we give him half a dose just to keep things moving along.

Good luck!

One word: BROCCOLI

I had this EXACT problem and I started taking probiotics and now I have NO more constipation at all..I go every day or at least every other day and I USED to go once MAYBE every 2 weeks or so..I'm not sure if it has been mentioned yet but THEY WORK. I use trunature.

Probiotics is a good suggestion, imo. Also, if you are getting fiber but not drinking water then it just becomes like a big clump of hay blocking everything....so fiber alone is not the cure-all. You need the water to keep the poo malleable and moveable.

I'm so sorry but I haven't read all the other posts, there was just too many! But I wanted to put in my experience as I too, have had issues like yours.

After getting referals etc, seeing drs and specialists. I now drink a yakult every morning and if I know I haven't been in a while I'll drink a teaspoon of epsom salts dissolved in warm water - that really works!
But also, sorry if its too much detail, but if you're 'trying' and not alot is happening, kind of massage your stomach area starting from just above your hip bone on your right side, up and around just under your ribs and down the left side.
My specialist said that I was getting 'blockages' and massaging helps move everything. So I would definitely recommend giving that a go.

Seeing this post....there are a lot of people out there with these problems...its kind of concerning.

Oh and also, I have a slight intolerance to dairy and lactose - so I would recommend going to the dr and getting tested for allergies if you haven't already as dairy in particular can cause a lot of those uncomfortable problems!

Hope you get better soon!