Frustrating

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TheReese1206
TheReese1206 Posts: 238
in Chit-Chat
I've been doing VERY good at working out and eating right. I however am beginning to get frustrated with people. I eat healthy and the majority of people give me slack for it. Just have a bite, one slice of pizza won't kill you. They seem to get offended if I say no. It's honestly annoying. Then I have a few friends who are constantly complaining about their weight but do nothing. Then when they ask me to motivate them, ask them to walk, workout, ect.....they always decline. It's just Sooo darn frustrating. I want to kick them in the rear. This may sound harsh but I'm venting it out on here. How do you KINDLY handle this situation? They are good friends just bad at the healthy lifestyle.
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  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    I don't really hear any of that. It's pretty much just the opposite. Maybe it's depends on where you work. Is this work peers or who that are saying there things?
  • TheReese1206
    TheReese1206 Posts: 238
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    I'm a Stay at Home Mom. They are friends and Women I meet for playdates. Some family members as well.
    I don't really hear any of that. It's pretty much just the opposite. Maybe it's depends on where you work. Is this work peers or who that are saying there things?
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    That's why I never discuss my getting healthier attempts with others. If they take notice and ask me, I'll answer their questions. Because if they notice a change and ask me about it, they see what I'm doing is working.. rather than having them watch me like a hawk and give me unwanted commentary of my food choices.
  • 2143661
    2143661 Posts: 566 Member
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    I too find it annoying and rude. people should respect us on our quest to get healthy!
  • CaseRat
    CaseRat Posts: 377 Member
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    Deep down, they're jealous you have enough self-control to deny the bad foods.

    You're succeeding while they're most likely getting nowhere.
  • charlesb22
    charlesb22 Posts: 110 Member
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    I usually just keep it to myself, unless they are the close enough type friends who can handle it if you tell them off for saying things like that!

    I have lost a small amount of weight simce using mfp and more importantly have been getting fit! there is a girl at my uni who is the motherly type and keeps asking me if I'm on a diet and telling me I need to eat more. All while she is stuffing her face with chocolate muffins at 10am and complaining that she hasn't been to the gym in weeks!

    Good luck to you, and I hope people start being more supportive.
  • CanuckTracy
    CanuckTracy Posts: 245 Member
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    Deep down, they're jealous you have enough self-control to deny the bad foods.

    You're succeeding while they're most likely getting nowhere.
    ^^ this for sure....everyone wants the magic pill that will make you thin, fit and happy...when they realize that you've worked your *kitten* off (literally!) to get here, not so interested... It doesn't come free!
  • laurenk08
    laurenk08 Posts: 89 Member
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    Same thing happens to me... people I work with bring in treats all the time to share and I always decline and they take offense to it sometimes, and then I am a nanny as well so the girls I nanny for always wonder why I do not eat a lot of the food they have or the same meals they are having. The girls and there mom are starting to think I don't like what they eat I think? I am not sure but its annoying, I agree!
  • lavieboheme1229
    lavieboheme1229 Posts: 448 Member
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    I don't really hear any of that. It's pretty much just the opposite. Maybe it's depends on where you work. Is this work peers or who that are saying there things?

    Truthfully, I think this is because you are man. I hear it too, and quite frankly, I used to think the same thing of people who were dieting. However, I find if you explain it's a lifestyle change, you will be fine.

    Yesterday, my office made cinnamon rolls. I went back there, interacted with everyone, and my friend was like, you know, if you have one, it isn't going to kill you. And I just said, "It's a slippery slope my friend", and she got it. I then looked at the package, and decided that well, this has the same amount of calories as my usual snack, and I know it won't be as filling, but I will still be on track. So I had one. HAHA!

    I don't know if that helped. I guess the moral of the story is YOU are the only person who can figure out what is best for you.
  • hrtoftx
    hrtoftx Posts: 32
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    Oh the main people that are on me about my eating, workouts and losing weight are the two people that actually got me started on this "lifestyle change" and even on to MFP!! My daughter and son in law did the change and did very well....so they encouraged me to get started. NOW....they are slacking and I am not. I have lost almost 30 lbs and only have like 20 more to go. Im very happy with how its been going. I dont even really do the two cheat days a week anymore.....

    Onther day my son in law told me I had lost enough weight...that I really just needed to tone. I told him thanks but I have just a bit more to work on. He was all over that saying that I was the most obsessive person and that I needed to take a break. I DO EAT....just becuase I say no thanks you to some things....and that I enjoy working out doesnt mean I am obsessive....I just see it as determined.

    Listen...my hubby is very proud of what I am doing and what I have accomllished. HE watches what I do and what I eat and will let me know if I need to change something up. Just smile when they say that stuff...
  • FitBunnyEm
    FitBunnyEm Posts: 320
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    i so know how u feel, at my job, i get offered cakes, biscuits, muffins, sweets each day...i say briefly ' no thanks'... then i have to give a reason (god knows why!) then they say ' come on, you need to treat yourself' - this is the funniest part - they will leave a couple of cakes on my desk. then i get that pissed, i bin them. this happens at least once a week, the majority in my office are over weight also - funny that......now i just laugh it off, else i would throw it in their faces
  • TheCurvyJ
    TheCurvyJ Posts: 43 Member
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    I always get on my friends about wondering how to kindly approach someone who is actively rude to them. There isn't a kind way. You have to advocate for yourself and practice self care. When someone brings a treat in to work, for example and insists over and over and over that I take one, I take it and then throw it away. Sometimes while they're watching. They will learn that I am serious when I say no thank you.

    Nope, I don't want a slice of pizza. I said I didn't want a slice five minutes ago and I don't want one now.

    You can't provide motivation for other people. You can provide inspiration. They'll have to kick their own butts. Let them know when and where they can join you for a work out or a walk. If they show up, cool. If not, you have goals to accomplish and you can't drag them along with you. If they want to come, they have to get on the train.

    I don't tell anyone about lifestyle changes. I just live it. They notice or they don't. I'm not a circus act. Nothing to see, no need to watch me lose weight like a science fair exhibit.

    You know?
  • ajp913
    ajp913 Posts: 100 Member
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    I just tried to read each situation individually the last time I was going through this. I knew there were certain people I would have to be blunt with; really let them know that constantly turning them down was exasperating and that I would appreciate it if they would be more supportive. And then others I knew that it was best to decline, but do so with an appreciative smile and an off hand comment like "oh, man, those cookies smell great... but i really am trying to lose weight so I have to pass... thanks though." I think some people get offended when you turn them down, so tempering your response with a compliment or gratitude for the involving you can help. But then again some people are just dense and really have to be told "i have these goals... i want to accomplish them... your constant temptation and nagging is hurting me. Please be more supportive."
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Sometimes the only language people speak is Rude. If that's what it takes to get people off your back, so be it. I don't want to be rude to people I like, but I also hate being called anorexic or being told I'm going to blow away if I don't eat something. It's uncalled for.
  • strunkm4
    strunkm4 Posts: 266
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    Deep down, they're jealous you have enough self-control to deny the bad foods.

    You're succeeding while they're most likely getting nowhere.


    I've learned this to be almost 100% of the case! You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Jealousy causes people to do or say really hurtful things. You just need to let it go in one ear and out the other. And if people are constantly asking for help, and then blowing you off, do what I do. Next time they ask you to help them, say "what about the last 4 times we tried this and it didn't work?". It'll get them thinking.
  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 330 Member
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    i dont feel so alone now...
    i have a friend who is always trying to get me to eat things that are terrible for me.. she is like how bad could a bite of (fill in food) be??
    but her husband is always asking her if they can start eating like i do..
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    You can't motivate people who can't/won't motivate themselves. My husband wants to get down to 200#. I told him a lot of it would come off if he started logging his food which is what got my first 20# off, but he feels if he forgets to log once, he'll keep forgetting. Starting to log food is hard because you have to log everything all the time. That's one reason I stopped in 2011.

    When people off me food, which is pretty rare, I tell them no and that's that. May be my friends take it at face value or they think I still am too fat. I have said that if I eat one piece, all eat them all. It's like offering heroine to a recovering addict. Just one piece is all it takes.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Some people don't want you to lose weight because it makes them feel fatter.
    Some people are trying to be nice by implying that you don't need to lose weight.

    If there's one thing I've learned, it is to not give a **** what anyone else says about me. I just keep doing what I'm doing.
  • chenrytc2
    chenrytc2 Posts: 48
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    The best thing you can do is be an example. People are going to offer you food that isn't particulary healthy out of kindness or etiquette. What they say is true, one piece of any given junk food will not hurt your diet. However, it is a slippery slope. I would put some of the responsibility on them. Tell them you have not achieved your goal and they can help you stay on track by not continuing to ask after you politely decline. Including them in your process may give them a sense of responsibility in helping you get to your health goals. Would rather them exclude you and become the proverbial black sheep? It doesn't sound like a conspiracy to get you unhealthy.

    I understand how people want help but don't want to help themselves. There are numerous reasons for this. Some are too embarrassed to go to a gym. Others may think they aren't healthy enough to even begin. The best thing you can do is encourage, follow up, and be available when they take action.

    Also, losing weight is difficult. Often people try losing weight and usually do it wrong. They cut calories by simply not eating or trying a fad diet. When those "diets" don't work they develop the mindset "diets don't work for me". People may want to follow your example but may think you are too advanced or a very strict dieter. Either way, people may be afraid to work with you. Let them know how easy it is and you eat the way eat because you are on a mission.

    We all started some where with a goal to get healthy. Continue what you are doing and be supportive and you will eventually have people come to you that are ready to take action.

    I don't believe you can't motivate other people or people are jealous. I look at before and after pics every day that inspire me to continue reaching for a healthier lifestyle. So, thanks to all the people that continue to be positive and motivate those around them. Charisma baby!

    One of my favorite quotes - "If it were easy, everyone would be doing it!"
  • sweetteach86
    sweetteach86 Posts: 10
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    Unfortunately, I am going through something similar to this. I work at a middle school, where there are constant parties, snacks, pizza, pastries and such. Most teachers are not on board with eating healthy or having a healthy lifestyle, so when they have cake for birthdays and other occasions, they say things like, "you don't need to diet" and "just one piece isn't going to hurt you." So.....I feel your pain hun. It is annoying. Family members are proud of what I do, but it is harder to go to family events because I have to create a healthy meal out of what they are having.

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