You're getting too skinny.

scrappergirl333
scrappergirl333 Posts: 28 Member
edited December 18 in Health and Weight Loss
I have lost some weight and a few people have commented to me that "I need to stop now because I'm getting too skinny". Technically, I'm still not in the ideal range for my height or build. Losing 10 more pounds would put me at the top of that range and lower my BF. I'm not really sure how to take these comments so I just laugh them off but they look at me as if I'm strange or have weight issues. I don't think I'm overdoing it but some days their comments make me second guess my goal. A few of these people are trying to get to the weight I'm currently at so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm also worried that if I stop here I'm just 5 pounds away from being way overweight again (too close for comfort imho). I prefer some wiggle room when it comes to my weight.

So how do you handle comments like this? How did you determine what is the ideal weight for your body?
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Replies

  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    People are weird that way.

    I've been there... and I'm not saying you aren't skinny... maybe you are. BUT... people just aren't used to seeing you the way you are currently. They're used to seeing you with more weight on you. In the same way it can sometimes take us a while for our brains to catch up to our bodies when we lose weight, it takes others time until they can really see you as you are and not as a comparison against who you were.

    I have chosen by goal weight by a few things:

    BMI - I want to be under 160 to have a BMI under 25
    Body Fat % - I have 120 lbs of lean mass so at 160 I'll be 25%BF and at 150 I'd be 20%...
    A weight I've been before - When I lost weight before I got down to 152 but settled in at about 158 lbs and was happy

    You know your body better than anyone. If you think you have more weight to lose and you're not in the healthy BMI range yet, keep going. Just tell people, "Thanks for saying such a nice thing! I feel great, but I have a few more pounds to lose before I'll be at a healthy weight for my height."
  • striveforhealthy
    striveforhealthy Posts: 137 Member
    Like what mrsbigmack said, they are most likely not used to seeing you at the weight you are. I also think that because we've become a "fat nation" that it's becoming more and more common to be surrounded by heavier people and the misperception of what healthy really looks like.

    I've learned to brush it off. I was told by people to stop losing weight 15lbs ago and I wouldn't have been happy with myself if I had. Now that I am at a healthier weight it is easier for me to know what is obtainable and what isn't. I know that even if i lose an additional 10-15lbs, I will still be healthy by my standards and by my doctors standards and that is what counts. Not the opinions of others.

    So with that, if you feel like 10 more pounds is what you need to do, then do it. As long as you remain healthy screw what others think. You will find what works for you.
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
    i dont determine ideal weight..i'm currently 128..5'2"..but i fit into a size 4-6..my weight is mostly muscle..a year ago when i weighed 117 i was fitting into like a size 4 also. and before that i when i weighed 130 i fit into a size 10. so......i know its really hard to get past the weight thing..i still feel a little sick when i weigh myself and i'm 128...
  • londanfudd4eva
    londanfudd4eva Posts: 138
    I have lost some weight and a few people have commented to me that "I need to stop now because I'm getting too skinny". Technically, I'm still not in the ideal range for my height or build. Losing 10 more pounds would put me at the top of that range and lower my BF. I'm not really sure how to take these comments so I just laugh them off but they look at me as if I'm strange or have weight issues. I don't think I'm overdoing it but some days their comments make me second guess my goal. A few of these people are trying to get to the weight I'm currently at so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm also worried that if I stop here I'm just 5 pounds away from being way overweight again (too close for comfort imho). I prefer some wiggle room when it comes to my weight.

    So how do you handle comments like this? How did you determine what is the ideal weight for your body?
    post some pics so i can give u an honest opinion . u have 2 use your on judgement though , where u feel comfortable. how tall r u? sometimes people r jealous or jus not used 2 c-ing u that size n a while. what does the hubby say? or the kids? they r brutally honest
  • hollieepps
    hollieepps Posts: 9 Member
    I finally reached what was my origional goal of 52 kilos (Im only 5ft 3) I do however want to see if i can get myself that little bit under that now and reach what would be near the very end of the ideal weight! Which would be around 48-50kilos (Im currently 50.5) That way i figure i give myself some breathing room if i put on a couple of kilos say at christmas or i heavy bad week then im fine! People are constantly telling me i do not need to lose weight. My reply is simply yes i am aware i do not "need" to lose weight but why should i aim to be the healtiest and lowest that i can be! Im not going to make myself ill trying to get there but its worth a shot!
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    I finally reached what was my origional goal of 52 kilos (Im only 5ft 3) I do however want to see if i can get myself that little bit under that now and reach what would be near the very end of the ideal weight! Which would be around 48-50kilos (Im currently 50.5) That way i figure i give myself some breathing room if i put on a couple of kilos say at christmas or i heavy bad week then im fine! People are constantly telling me i do not need to lose weight. My reply is simply yes i am aware i do not "need" to lose weight but why should i aim to be the healtiest and lowest that i can be! Im not going to make myself ill trying to get there but its worth a shot!

    The problem is just going too low. I am 1 inch shorter and aiming for 55kg.
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    I have lost some weight and a few people have commented to me that "I need to stop now because I'm getting too skinny". Technically, I'm still not in the ideal range for my height or build. Losing 10 more pounds would put me at the top of that range and lower my BF. I'm not really sure how to take these comments so I just laugh them off but they look at me as if I'm strange or have weight issues. I don't think I'm overdoing it but some days their comments make me second guess my goal. A few of these people are trying to get to the weight I'm currently at so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm also worried that if I stop here I'm just 5 pounds away from being way overweight again (too close for comfort imho). I prefer some wiggle room when it comes to my weight.

    So how do you handle comments like this? How did you determine what is the ideal weight for your body?

    What is your height and weight?
  • hollieepps
    hollieepps Posts: 9 Member
    I dont know how to link to comments! Doh! Suziecue66... 55 was my origional goal and once i reached that i set the new goal of 52. Using the bmi and other formulars a person of my height is still within the "healthy" weight range being at 48 kilos. I am aware that frame etc has a lot to do with it and that some 5ft3 people would look quite different being the same weight!
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    I dont know how to link to comments! Doh! Suziecue66... 55 was my origional goal and once i reached that i set the new goal of 52. Using the bmi and other formulars a person of my height is still within the "healthy" weight range being at 48 kilos. I am aware that frame etc has a lot to do with it and that some 5ft3 people would look quite different being the same weight!

    Doh right back at you.
  • hollieepps
    hollieepps Posts: 9 Member
    I dont know how to link to comments! Doh! Suziecue66... 55 was my origional goal and once i reached that i set the new goal of 52. Using the bmi and other formulars a person of my height is still within the "healthy" weight range being at 48 kilos. I am aware that frame etc has a lot to do with it and that some 5ft3 people would look quite different being the same weight!

    Doh right back at you.

    Lol i was already doh'ing myself for not knowing... not aimed at you! Sorry for the confusion!
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    I dont know how to link to comments! Doh! Suziecue66... 55 was my origional goal and once i reached that i set the new goal of 52. Using the bmi and other formulars a person of my height is still within the "healthy" weight range being at 48 kilos. I am aware that frame etc has a lot to do with it and that some 5ft3 people would look quite different being the same weight!

    Doh right back at you.

    Lol i was already doh'ing myself for not knowing... not aimed at you! Sorry for the confusion!

    Sorry Hollie!
  • jesska812
    jesska812 Posts: 102 Member
    I've been getting this since I've decided to lose weight again. I'm currently at the top the the healthy BMI range but I want to be at the bottom end. I chose this purely because I've been that weight before, it means I'm in the clothes size that I like to be and also my joints love me being a bit lighter (my knees are happier to run!).

    You'll will find that these people are just not used to seeing you smaller. Try to just ignore it or give them a generic 'oh really, thanks for that I'll take it on board' answer. Try not to let others discourage you from your goal!

    Good luck
  • iHEARTcardiacnurses
    iHEARTcardiacnurses Posts: 437 Member
    My grandmother says she can snap me like a twig.

    I'm still over 300lbs. :laugh:
  • ili_s
    ili_s Posts: 66
    My grandmother says she can snap me like a twig.

    I'm still over 300lbs. :laugh:

    Ahhh Grandmothers and their feeding ways.. gotta love them XD

    I mainly get comments form my granny about how I should not lose any more weight. I agree with everyone here. We get comments that we are so thin now because no ones used to seeing us like that. They will get used to it. Stay vigilent and explain all the factors of weight loss and reassure them that your goals aren't unrealistic but sensible and healthy for you.
  • tehzephyrsong
    tehzephyrsong Posts: 435 Member
    My mom has called me "skinny minnie" before, and said "You're wasting away to nothing!" with an admiring grin on her face. She means well but I'm not sure how to go about telling her that her compliments just make me self-conscious, especially when she would say these things while I was still over 200lbs.

    The thing is, from your own perspective, all you see is how much you have left to lose. Others only see what you've lost.
  • bemott
    bemott Posts: 180
    I hear you. I work at a library and am about 20lbs from top range of healthy weight for my height and I get lots of silly comments, like "you're wasting away to nothing or soon you will disappear"' or people calling me skinny. I know they are just trying to compliment me but it's quite embarrassing especially when someone who doesn't know me is within earshot, I know they are thinking, well that woman isn't skinny. But compared to how I looked 34 lbs ago I suppose I am. Just smile at them, you don't have to explain anything to anyone!
  • krnlcsf
    krnlcsf Posts: 310
    I have lost some weight and a few people have commented to me that "I need to stop now because I'm getting too skinny". Technically, I'm still not in the ideal range for my height or build. Losing 10 more pounds would put me at the top of that range and lower my BF. I'm not really sure how to take these comments so I just laugh them off but they look at me as if I'm strange or have weight issues. I don't think I'm overdoing it but some days their comments make me second guess my goal. A few of these people are trying to get to the weight I'm currently at so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm also worried that if I stop here I'm just 5 pounds away from being way overweight again (too close for comfort imho). I prefer some wiggle room when it comes to my weight.

    So how do you handle comments like this? How did you determine what is the ideal weight for your body?

    i agree with the previous posts who said that your friends/colleagues just aren't used to seeing you so slim... but also, and this is just a guess, if you are wearing ill-fitting clothes (from pre-weight loss size) because you plan to lose more and don't want to spend money, it makes you appear as though you've shrunk so much just because the clothing is so big and hanging off you. i think it throws off people's perception of what your actual size and shape are. Once you take the plunge and buy some new clothes, people will see that you're still a healthy size.
  • amdahwd
    amdahwd Posts: 237 Member
    I am already getting these same types of comments and I am still in the OBESE range for my BMI. I have at least 35 pounds more to go and maybe more before I get to where I need to be to be considered a healthy weight. I just smile, say thanks for your compliments, and continue doing what I am doing.
  • scrappergirl333
    scrappergirl333 Posts: 28 Member
    I will post pictures later but I am 5'2" and I currently weigh 140. That is not skinny in my opinion. I carry most of my weight in my boobs and tummy. So my lower half does look thinner and that is what they usually notice how I look in my pants. I take high blood pressure meds partly due to weight and genetics. I want to drop more pounds so hopefully my doctor can take me off of them or decrease the dose when I see her next month. Hubby thinks that I look great but he sees me sans clothes and can see my trouble spots. My mom says I look fine where I am but this is the weight she's trying to achieve.
  • tnjackso1
    tnjackso1 Posts: 312 Member
    Lol...I get those comments too...you look like a crack head, we need to put rocks in your pockets so the wind want blow you away, omg you need to just stop right there, and you need new clothes..... I just laugh it off, they didn't have a problem when I was 185lbs so now that I'm at 161lbs they shouldn't care either. I just tell people that once I get to my personal goal of 140lbs then I will stop but till then I don't care how loose the clothes are and how much crack they think I smoke lol.... I'm doing this for me and I don't care what they think.

    As long as you feel good in your skin, girl do you!!
  • stephenatl09
    stephenatl09 Posts: 186 Member
    I hate it when that happens..my BF% is 20.3 and I wnat it to be under 15%....I'm always like "No, I am not too skinny, yet"
  • mrsdizzyd84
    mrsdizzyd84 Posts: 422 Member
    My theory about this is that our country has gotten so used to seeing overweight/obese people that our peers have a hard time identifying what a healthy weight look like. I get the same kinds of responses. I'm just within the healthy range for my height and I even catch myself glancing in the mirror and thinking "dang, I'm getting too skinny". The reality is, I am not. I'm just used to looking at an overweight me.
  • Jmstill300
    Jmstill300 Posts: 239 Member
    According to my BMI I'm still considered "overweight" at 5'10" and 190 lbs. A couple people have told me that I've started to look "too skinny", while I thank them for their concern, I'll decide myself when I'm comfortable in my own skin.
  • lindalou4850
    lindalou4850 Posts: 217 Member
    I say do what feels right for you!! Maybe they are jealous or maybe they are not used to seeing you thinner!!
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    Translation: "Stop losing weight because it makes me feel bad".
  • andrearaquel48
    andrearaquel48 Posts: 102 Member
    Just tell people, "Thanks for saying such a nice thing! I feel great, but I have a few more pounds to lose before I'll be at a healthy weight for my height."

    Love this!! I think this is a terrific response.

    Also, I haven't read all the responses so maybe someone mentioned this, but there is research out there showing that people who are overweight feel less overweight when those around them are also overweight. So as you alluded to in your post, some people may feel heavier as they see you getting skinnier. In a sense, some people may feel more comfortable with themselves if you are heavier. If you are still outside the healthy BMI range then you are doing great by trying to lose a few more pounds.
  • WarrantyVoider
    WarrantyVoider Posts: 11 Member
    I get that comment quite frequently. Curiously enough, it never comes from people who are in shape. It is almost exclusively from people who are happy to be overweight.

    I think people just don't like being left behind.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    So how do you handle comments like this?

    If it becomes a repeat issue and its officially getting on your nerves, I would remind them that until they have obtained their MD in Exercise Physiology, Endocrinology and Nutrition, you dont have to listen to them, and there will be no more comments from this moment forward.

    My mother tried.......and failed miserably...
  • _Tristan_
    _Tristan_ Posts: 221 Member
    Translation: "Stop losing weight because it makes me feel bad".

    This!

    It's not their decision. It's yours!
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 659 Member
    I don't really know what to say to this, I think its a possibility ( i haven't looked at your pictures). There are some cases when someone does look better a couple of pounds heavier. My sister for example lost a lot a weight and got into her size 5 or 7 prom dress, when I look back on the photos I think she definitely was too skinny
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