"Forcing" food on you...
Jessamine
Posts: 226 Member
I really hate it when people attempt to force food on you.
My husband and I had a group meeting last night wherein a couple (our good friends) brought a large store-bought tub of bakery cookies. Very few cookies were eaten over the course of the meeting. The couple who brought them asked us to take them home. We politely said, "No, thank you." They insisted that we take it. We said, "No." They said that we didn't have to take them all -- just a little doggie bag. We said "No." They said, "Oh come on!"
Good grief!! My husband and I left the meeting feeling guilty for not taking it off their hands.
It was even more frustrating because this couple has been eating healthy and dieting for a few years (they're doing awesome!) and they routinely turn down offers of food or desserts. I was really surprised that they were giving us such a hard time about it.
My husband and I had a group meeting last night wherein a couple (our good friends) brought a large store-bought tub of bakery cookies. Very few cookies were eaten over the course of the meeting. The couple who brought them asked us to take them home. We politely said, "No, thank you." They insisted that we take it. We said, "No." They said that we didn't have to take them all -- just a little doggie bag. We said "No." They said, "Oh come on!"
Good grief!! My husband and I left the meeting feeling guilty for not taking it off their hands.
It was even more frustrating because this couple has been eating healthy and dieting for a few years (they're doing awesome!) and they routinely turn down offers of food or desserts. I was really surprised that they were giving us such a hard time about it.
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Replies
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I really hate it when people attempt to force food on you.
My husband and I had a group meeting last night wherein a couple (our good friends) brought a large store-bought tub of bakery cookies. Very few cookies were eaten over the course of the meeting. The couple who brought them asked us to take them home. We politely said, "No, thank you." They insisted that we take it. We said, "No." They said that we didn't have to take them all -- just a little doggie bag. We said "No." They said, "Oh come on!"
Good grief!! My husband and I left the meeting feeling guilty for not taking it off their hands.
It was even more frustrating because this couple has been eating healthy and dieting for a few years (they're doing awesome!) and the routinely turn down offers of food or desserts. I was really surprised that they were giving us such a hard time about it.
Take them then drop them off at a shelter0 -
Agree with MassiveDelta. Take them and give them to someone who needs calories. Or throw them away.0
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I agree sometimes it's just easier to say yes to something and then throw them out when you get home.0
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That's probably why they wanted them out of their house. I don't like having extra junk food around either. Still, that doesn't mean you'll want it! I try to take extra junk to work to leave out as a giveaway. Or, you could trash it. I don't feel guilty throwing out unhealthy food.0
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Agree with MassiveDelta. Take them and give them to someone who needs calories. Or throw them away.
If you do throw them away make sure they see you do it...problem solved for next time
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Agree with MassiveDelta. Take them and give them to someone who needs calories. Or throw them away.
If you do throw them away make sure they see you do it...problem solved for next time
YES! Haha...
It all just bothered me because no one should pressure you when you've already given a firm "No."0 -
That is part of my weight problem. My grandmother on my mom's side is a real food pusher!! You barely get done eating and she is trying to give you something else.0
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I work in a nursing home kitchen and the chef always offers me the food. I feel bad when I tell her no you'd think she would stop offering it when I tell her I bring my own. She always talks about how I never eat because I don't eat huge portions of food like everyone else.0
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I am often "forced" to take food from a friend's house. I know it makes her feel special and like she's taking care of people. I take it home and throw it away. I don't feel guilty.0
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I come from a Portuguese family on one side and have a grandfather who was formerly a chef at a five star hotel in on the other side, so I know the feeling. The portuguese side still attempts to force feed me but my grandpa's gotten rather accommodating when I eat over there now, he'll make me something healthier or separate
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I don't understand why people get offended when you refuse their food. It doesn't make any sense.
Like you're hurting their feelings or being an *kitten* by not wanting to eat their fudge or their stupid sausage.0 -
The stick thin woman who works for me is always saying "have one they're so good". I know her intentions are good, but my willpower is limited :drinker:0
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I would have been upset. They wanted the junk food off their hands and into yours. WHY? b/c you deserve junk food? They were being selfish just thinking about them self not how that junk food will affect YOU. Clearly they know how it would affect THEM that is why they don't want it.
Agree with "take it and throw it so they see you"
*I* would not consider people like that good friends.0 -
Congratulations. You turned down cookies and didn't take any home with you. don't feel guilty feel proud. If they get offended because you didn't want any of their store bought cookies too bad. You have goals that don't need to be messed with. Well done.0
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Ugh my Mother is like that. She's constantly "oh just have one glass of wine, oh just have a small bowl of ice cream".
NOOOOO!! I don't WANT it.
She's on here actually, hope she doesn't see this :blushing:0 -
I don't understand why people get offended when you refuse their food. It doesn't make any sense.
Like you're hurting their feelings or being an *kitten* by not wanting to eat their fudge or their stupid sausage.
I don't get it either. I once watched a coworker get all offended because another coworker quietly passed on eating some leftover Halloween candy she brought in. The coworker who passed had potentially life threatening food allergies, the candy in question was unsafe for her to eat due to possible contamination, but the other coworker still didn't get it. I wanted to scream at her.0 -
I get this all the time since we do birthday celebrations with my team. I just say "thank you", take it back to my office, close my door, and throw it in my trash can!0
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I don't understand why people get offended when you refuse their food. It doesn't make any sense.
Like you're hurting their feelings or being an *kitten* by not wanting to eat their fudge or their stupid sausage.
If it's homemade food, I could kinda see it. But I don't have a lot of emotional investment in storebought cookies.0 -
This happens quite often, my usual reply is to be honest. I just tell the person(s) that "I appreciate the offer but, I am changing my diet, removing as much junk, candy, chocolate and bad food as possible and am working to improve my health and lose weight at the same time."
It helps prevent a repeat of the same situation in the future.0 -
That is part of my weight problem. My grandmother on my mom's side is a real food pusher!! You barely get done eating and she is trying to give you something else.
Yup. My stepmom, who is a great cook and a wonderful person all around, is the same way.
Fortunately, she does "counter service", so most of the food is on the counter. I eat small bites and try to mound food high but narrow if possible, and eat from the top so it looks like the pile is vanishing quickly as the pile collapses. Then, before I'm done, I'll go back for "seconds", add a tiny bit, and re-shape the pile quickly with my fork.
She thinks I'm eating a lot more than I am, and she leaves me alone and works on someone else.
The real problem, of course, is that she's an excellent cook. So the temptation is to gorge myself silly. And occasionally I do, but I plan something really vigorous for the next day and forgive myself while I pay penance.
Fortunately, she lives several thousand miles away, and we only manage to visit for a week or two every couple of years.0 -
Ugh my Mother is like that. She's constantly "oh just have one glass of wine, oh just have a small bowl of ice cream".
NOOOOO!! I don't WANT it.
She's on here actually, hope she doesn't see this :blushing:
I ALWAYS want the wine...0 -
I tell them it's fine I will take them but please know I am going to throw them away, every last one the second I get to a trashcan.0
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Agree with MassiveDelta. Take them and give them to someone who needs calories. Or throw them away.
If you do throw them away make sure they see you do it...problem solved for next time
Exactly! After the third time they don't want to hear no, say "Thanks!" and drop them into their trash. Sure it isn't the nicest way to do it, but sometimes the fix is a hammer if the problem is a nail.0 -
I have chickens and feed all that stuff to them. They make me eggs which I eat a lot of. I also have a compost bin that I used in my garden. Just turn it into something else. : )0
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Ah yes, food pushers!! I think everyone has them in their lives! I just say "If I take that home I'll eat it, so NO THANK YOU." It's the truth. If their feelings are hurt that's their problem not mine.0
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thankfully since I am forced to eat gluten free I have an easy way out---I tell them I'm allergic (which it's NOT an allergy but it's the easiest way to explain it). I would say use that as a white lie in the future...as soon as you say that it usually clams them right up. No one needs to know that you aren't. Of course if they know you well they may know you are not allergic but it's a good one for acquaintances/strangers0
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I really hate it when people attempt to force food on you.
My husband and I had a group meeting last night wherein a couple (our good friends) brought a large store-bought tub of bakery cookies. Very few cookies were eaten over the course of the meeting. The couple who brought them asked us to take them home. We politely said, "No, thank you." They insisted that we take it. We said, "No." They said that we didn't have to take them all -- just a little doggie bag. We said "No." They said, "Oh come on!"
Good grief!! My husband and I left the meeting feeling guilty for not taking it off their hands.
It was even more frustrating because this couple has been eating healthy and dieting for a few years (they're doing awesome!) and the routinely turn down offers of food or desserts. I was really surprised that they were giving us such a hard time about it.
Take them then drop them off at a shelter
That is a great idea, didn't think of that one.
I belong to the neighborhood pool committee. There are 3 ladies and 2 guys on the committee and when we meet the ladies have gotten in their heads to out due one another in serving homemade deserts. It went from cookies to full blown cheese cakes. The meetings last for a couple of hours and usually happens before dinner. I only have so much will power but I will try that suggestion next time.0 -
One of the secrets of eating healthily is to severely restrict your intake of foods such as cookies. Clearly these are smart people!It was even more frustrating because this couple has been eating healthy and dieting for a few years (they're doing awesome!) and they routinely turn down offers of food or desserts. I was really surprised that they were giving us such a hard time about it.
Personally, I often take "unhealthy" foods to meetings etc. because it's my chance to just have one.
Usually, there are many many people who don't care about their diet, who are delighted to take them off my hands, but I don't like wasting them and I CERTAINLY can't afford to take them home.
You just need to let these friends know that you too are now "one of them" when it comes to eating healthily and they're going to have to find other people to pass their junk onto.
No need to feel guilty, it's war out there! :bigsmile:0 -
You say they brought a "large tub" so maybe it was just more then they knew they could eat before it goes bad? My family is real bad about overcooking so we always try to get people to take food home, but we're not forceful. We just want it to be eaten instead of trashed.0
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I rarely have people force food on me but after the second "oh come on; take them" I probably would've just taken them and given them to a friend or family member. It's not that big of a deal.0
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