I hate me and my body!

It sounds like you have distorted body image.

Find one thing that you like or love about yourself and focus on that. Learn to accept the small flaws.

You have worked hard to get to the point where your at, embrace it and embrace yourself.

I, too, have a very distorted body image due to things in my childhood. I am learning to love myself.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

First, poor body image is a slippery slope toward a body image problem and an eating disorder is something to watch out for at the bottom of that slope.

Second, if you're seeing people built the same way you are as attractive, then remember, that's how other people see YOU!!!!

Third, a good sweaty workout not only makes you feel better about your self, a properly-designed one can build some muscle and tone areas of the body.

And, finally, I don't know your age but you may be having an early midlife crisis. Many people react differently to this. Some buy a fancy new car. Some eat more (or less). Personally, I bought a decent bicycle and started cycling to work a few years ago whenever I could. I feel younger than I have in years.

Plus, the occasional near-death like the Subaru that pulled out around a truck in front of me doing 65MPH and taking my breakdown lane this morning, missing me by about 4 inches - THOSE make you appreciate life.

We have to learn to stop speaking to ourselves so negatively. Would we say those things to our friends? Never! Show yourself the same respect you would your friend or a complete stranger.

And never ever compare yourself to someone else! You can't do this. We are all different, or have gone through different things...it is unfair to do that to yourself.

Spend less time scrutinizing yourself in the mirror too...and when you do focus on the positives! Tell yourself you are beautiful...that you do have a lovely butt/hair/smile/calves, (or whatever you love the most about yourself).

AND do not COVER up. You need to go out and buy clothes that show off your accomplishments and make you feel CONFIDENT!

The more you eat right and exercise the better you should start to feel anyways. It will happen but you have to work on your insides as much as you work on your outsides.

Google:Body dysmorphic disorder suprisingly a lot of males suffer with this-Ty

We have to learn to stop speaking to ourselves so negatively. Would we say those things to our friends? Never! Show yourself the same respect you would your friend or a complete stranger.

And never ever compare yourself to someone else! You can't do this. We are all different, or have gone through different things...it is unfair to do that to yourself.

Spend less time scrutinizing yourself in the mirror too...and when you do focus on the positives! Tell yourself you are beautiful...that you do have a lovely butt/hair/smile/calves, (or whatever you love the most about yourself).

AND do not COVER up. You need to go out and buy clothes that show off your accomplishments and make you feel CONFIDENT!

The more you eat right and exercise the better you should start to feel anyways. It will happen but you have to work on your insides as much as you work on your outsides.

Very excellent input!

I would add that maybe you need to work on the INSIDE now. You need to start utilizing self help books/audio cd's to improve yourself on the inside. I was very depressed and angry at the world. I had a very hard life (back then I did not think so though, I just felt with it). We need to look inside and see what we need to heal from. What we need to let go of and what we need to strengthen.
I would also recommend using positive affirmations. Look at yourself in the mirror (I did this every time I went to the bathroom) and say something to yourself every time. The same thing daily. Then the next day change your affirmation. IE: I would say (while looking into the mirror) "You ARE beautiful and you are NOT afraid of change." When you keep doing this over and over it gets easier and more convincing. At first I would cry and have a hard time telling myself this while looking at myself. BUT you get thru it and you start to change and become more confident.
To me that is what you sound like, you are not confident in yourself and you are your own worst critic. I mean we spend the most amount of time with ourselves so we need to be our own BEST coach, our own best friend, and our own best supporter.
Self help I would recommend Dr. Wayne Dyer, Chalene Johnson's Car Smart (I am currently using that at the present time), or even the good ole Dale Carnegie. Oh and there is a new one I am checking out by Brendon Burchard called The Charge, I think its $6.50 right now.
I hope that helps. And I will pray that you find what you need to be the best you you can be. In the end its all about being healthy on the inside as well as the outside.

if you truly have a body issue

all this hippy-dippy "love yourself" horse-hockey probably doesn't help. it sure doesn't help me. in fact, whenever people say, "just learn to love yourself" it makes things worse. that evil little voice in my head lashes out and says, "impossible! I'm completely unloveable."

you know what DOES help? admitting you have a self image problem. you've hit step 1.

training that inner voice to shut the H*LL up! a rubber band on the wrist, and positively written affirmations on the mirror, in the car, on the front door help.

surround yourself with positive people, preferrably ones with good personal self esteem. you learn by example. if you're around people who put themselves or who put others down: dump them from your life ASAP. even if they're nice to you, hurtful comments made in your presence will get transferred back to yourself.

and lastly, avoid negative self-esteem triggers. For me that included banishing full-length mirrors from my house, avoiding women's magazines, and carefully monitoring what kind of movies/television shows i watch for perpetuations of unrealistic and misogynistic views of female appearance.

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good luck to you.

self hatred is a sh*tty mountain to climb

If I am reading you past post correctly, It looks like you just got surgery a couple of weeks ago, maybe you are having some post op depression. Give your self some time for everything to settle into place and you can get back on your routine. At any weight and any shape you are somebody worth while. Don't compare yourself to someone in a magazine, compare yourself to the person driving by in a car when you are out for a walk or run.

Body image is something I’ve struggled with since I was a teenager. It’s led me to do some really dangerous and destructive things. At one point I was underweight and borderline anorexic. I still battle the temptation to resort to VLCDs, stimulant abuse, and the like. The biggest salvation for me has been exercise. Not for weight loss per se—in fact, I deliberately avoid high-calorie-burn cardio—but to achieve a sense of mastery. Feeling myself become stronger and fitter gives me something to feel good about on those days when I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror.