Question for all you working parents out there

124

Replies

  • wtdia
    wtdia Posts: 68 Member
    Seriously... how do you find time to exercise? I don't know how to get out of my rut. I know sometimes it's lack of motivation, but most of the time it's truely lack of time.

    Since joining MFP I have not been brave enough to try to get up earlier than I already do. I am very stiff and sore when I first wake up, so moving a lot will only pull my muscles (I have tried in the past). Also, I have a 2yo at home that does not always sleep through the night. Since I am always exhausted, it does not make sense to me to get up early and be even more exhausted.

    When I get home after my 8-10 hour work days I have just enough time to make dinner while helping the older kids with their homework/housework/lives. Maybe playing with the 2yo for a few uninterrupted minutes and trying to clean up from dinner, etc...

    By that time it's 9-10 pm and I'm pooped.

    I made a deal with my hubby that he would give the 2yo her bath 3 days a week so I could do a workout for 30 minutes. He normally does it anyway, but I wanted to firm up a plan that would help keep me motivated to do it. That worked 1 time before he got sick, then the rest of us got sick. That was 3 weeks ago.

    How do you keep going when your life is not only your own? I can't say I'm going for a walk when there are dishes to be done, dinner to make and children to love and care for.
    How do you fit it in? How do you take back some of your time for yourself without pushing all responsibilities onto your spouse? I feel like I've been waiting for my kids to leave the nest so that I could be me again. Another 16 years is too long to wait.

    I completely understand how you feel. I found Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred and it's hard to make excuses to not workout to this. It's literally 20 - 25 minutes of my day. I can do that. And yes, I first get to it around 8-8:30 at night. I do this 5 days a week and also walk with my neighbor ( who also works every day) from 9-10 pm three nights per week. I have three kids, which are a bit older than yours, but I completely understand that time in your life where you feel like you are spread so thin and have no identity....Now....you don't do yourself any favors by not taking out a few hours each week for yourself. If your husband is on board, like mine, then it sounds like you can make that time for yourself. You will be so happy you did when you feel healthier. Keep trying and good luck.
  • wtdia
    wtdia Posts: 68 Member
    also.....crockpot cooking is my life as much as possible so that I am not always scrambling to cook
  • I work out on my lunch break at work, and eat lunch while I work. I also incorporated after dinner walks with my older two kids (they are 11 and 15) and we are all working on the C25K as a family during that time. My youngest usually stays home with my boyfriend during that time (he is so ADHD, he will run circles around us laughing!!) My house might not be as clean as I would like it, but I would rather have my health over a clean house. The kids help out with the chores (cleaning up, loading the dishwasher, etc) so that we can all do things together.

    I also work out a lot on weekends, and my kids do it with me - walking/running, 30DS, tennis, bike riding.. anything active to get us moving and keep us energized.
  • chicfreak9
    chicfreak9 Posts: 78 Member
    I'm a single working parent of 2 (ages 5 and 11) I joined my local YMCA. I do mommy and me classes with the lil one while the big one does her own classes. I stick them in the daycare room when I need an hour workout that does not include them. I also walk during my lunch hour when the weather permits. I also have a Wii so that we can do exercise games like zumba or just dance together. My girls are easy going. They do thier HW at the after school program and I tend to let them eat breakfast for dinner (cereal with milk or eggs and bacon) If I cant cook it in less than 30 minutes they wont eat it and we eat a lot of Subway :laugh:

    Basically it comes down to all the things we've read in all the womens fitness magazines. Mom's and dad's have to find time for themselves in order to take better care of their families. If we cannot take care of ourselves by trying to be healthy we do a disservice to our children. You will find the right motivations and the right system that will help you and your family get to your goals.
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
    It is difficult to find the time. I have a 12 year old, and a one year old, and I work between 45 - 50 hours a week. My husband works a swing shift, so often times he is not there to help when I am home.
    Here are some of the things I do, I eat lunch at my desk and walk the remainder of the time. I walk up and down the stairs at my house while my little one naps. I put my little one in a wagon, and pull him around the neighborhood. And, when I am doing house work or cleaning I make it count. Examples: I dance around the kitchen while I am cooking which amuses my one year old and gets me moving.
  • kjerstenkipp
    kjerstenkipp Posts: 139 Member
    I get up at 3:30 am to make it to the gym at 4:30.

    If I couldn't work out early, I would not be able to.
    WOW! I thought I got up early...4:30 to be at the gym by 5:00...I bow to you sir! :-)

    Anyway, you HAVE to schedule time for yourself...seriously...make it a date...schedule on a calendar...workout 4-5 or whatever time...everyone else can work around that...maybe on workout days they have sandwiches for dinner (nothing wrong with a healthy sandwich) or you make some "make ahead" meals like a casserole...have hubby or one of the older kids pop it in the oven at the right time. Your family wants you to get healthy and be around for a long time to come so everyone has to pitch in. Those dishes will wait...and it seems to me that there are other folks in your house that could knock those out. At our house, the person who cooks doesn't clean up...it is a great rule! :-)
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    Seriously... how do you find time to exercise? I don't know how to get out of my rut. I know sometimes it's lack of motivation, but most of the time it's truely lack of time.

    Since joining MFP I have not been brave enough to try to get up earlier than I already do. I am very stiff and sore when I first wake up, so moving a lot will only pull my muscles (I have tried in the past). Also, I have a 2yo at home that does not always sleep through the night. Since I am always exhausted, it does not make sense to me to get up early and be even more exhausted.

    When I get home after my 8-10 hour work days I have just enough time to make dinner while helping the older kids with their homework/housework/lives. Maybe playing with the 2yo for a few uninterrupted minutes and trying to clean up from dinner, etc...

    By that time it's 9-10 pm and I'm pooped.

    I made a deal with my hubby that he would give the 2yo her bath 3 days a week so I could do a workout for 30 minutes. He normally does it anyway, but I wanted to firm up a plan that would help keep me motivated to do it. That worked 1 time before he got sick, then the rest of us got sick. That was 3 weeks ago.

    How do you keep going when your life is not only your own? I can't say I'm going for a walk when there are dishes to be done, dinner to make and children to love and care for.
    How do you fit it in? How do you take back some of your time for yourself without pushing all responsibilities onto your spouse? I feel like I've been waiting for my kids to leave the nest so that I could be me again. Another 16 years is too long to wait.

    How old are all of your kids? Could hubs take 3 nights per week to help the olders with their homework? Could the olders help you with dinner or housework? Could you batch cook some stuff on weekends that you could just reheat or add a couple of ingredients to on the weeknights to simplify dinner?

    :( You don't have to wait until they "leave the nest" to "be you" again. :( You can work with them. Pop 2 yo into a stroller and go for a family walk in the evening on a Friday night when they are least likely to have homework. Encourage your kids to work out with you-you don't even have to do formal workouts, go to the park and chase your 2 year old and play with her on the playground-believe me, keeping up with wee ones on a playground can be quite a workout! If you work your family into your healthy lifestyle, it will not only make things easier for you, it will set a great example for the kids as well. Make it a family thing instead of seeing your family as an obstacle preventing you from reaching your health goals. :heart:
  • Kerakakes
    Kerakakes Posts: 2 Member
    Scheduling the time works out best for me. I have a few hors free on tuesday & wednesday after work.. those are dedictaed gym days. On days I cant get there.. I do FIT TV (on Demand) for at least an hour. My son knows unless its an emergency it has to wait until I get finished. Make simple meals, a crock pot can become your best friend. Spot clean during the week, and save the heavy duty things for the weekend. Get your family on board, and let them know what your trying to do, and that you need there support.
  • mltchel
    mltchel Posts: 6 Member
    Great ideas by others here. Over the years I've juggled a lot of these strategies. Currently I use lunch hour for paying bills, etc. but I take the stairs to another floor to use the bathroom and do some leg lifts or plies for 1 minute each trip.

    I regularly do 20 minutes of something in the morning. Thinking "just jog to the stop sign and back" makes it seems less daunting. If my husband isn't home and I can't leave the kids I do a video in the living room before the youngest wakes up. If you don't have videos try YouTube. I perform better at work with the morning exercise boost but its hard to get over the hump of waking up earlier. Then if I don't get the lunch or evening workout in I've done the minimum that morning.

    My husband and I have together made a real point that this is a FAMILY affair. We started using the crock pot, and lots of easy non-processed food with little prep. Salmon thaws while you set the table, cooks in 14 minutes, and with salad or veggies you have dinner ASAP.
    We put the bikes on the bike rack after dinner maybe once a week and head to the office park for riding and walking. We take turns with who rides the bike with the 3 yr old in the baby seat. Our older boy loves the family time. Your 2 yr old is perfect for a jogging stroller - take advantage of that. So on the days when the baby doesn't have one-on-one bath time with dad, make it one-on-one time with Mom! My son loves for me to put the music on so we can both hear it while we're on the road. My husband and I also decided to use our date money for a $10/month each gym membership and now we go to the gym together once/week as a date - it comes out to be a great deal all around! We both feel and look better than when "time together" meant a steak dinner.

    Just as important as the exercise is setting some food rules in your house. This will help you feel better, and more prone to exercising.
  • shelldancel
    shelldancel Posts: 5 Member
    I'm in the same situation and can totally relate to what you are going through.. I'm at work for 9 hours a day, Monday-Friday and have to cook, clean and do homework every night when I get home. I have 3 children, 2 of them are able to take care of themselves but my youngest requires alot more attention from me. What I have done to get my exercise in is I go to the gym right after work for about 45 minutes. I keep my gym clothes in the car and go straight to work out. For me this works because it forces me to make time for myslelf. :)
  • Arthemise1
    Arthemise1 Posts: 365 Member
    We have a four-year-old and a long commute. Even though we lose out on privacy, it's great having my mom live with us to help take care of our son. She recently retired, and it's SO nice. I know it's not an option for everyone, but it really works for us.
  • Livin_Large
    Livin_Large Posts: 104 Member
    My Suzy Homemaker skills have been sadly lacking since I started working out for an hour 5 days a week. It’s amazing how much stuff I apparently used to get done in that hour. I have gotten to the point where I have to just straighten up during the week and actually clean on the weekends. I realized that things don't have to be perfect all of the time.

    I second this, I do my detail cleaning on the weekends...also, the YMCA has supervised activities for children too...if you can afford the membership.

    Most YMCA will do membership at income based pricing too.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
    I work out on my lunch break and then take my baby for a walk later with the dog or work out during her reading or TV time.
  • Livin_Large
    Livin_Large Posts: 104 Member
    My kids go to bed about 8:30 and that's generally when I work out. I find the more I work out the more energy I have too so even though in the beginning you'll be exhausted after a week or so you will feel better.
  • zetagirl39
    zetagirl39 Posts: 5 Member
    My best time to get it in is in the mornings around 5:00am.:smile:
  • w_i_n_d_y
    w_i_n_d_y Posts: 216 Member
    I wake up 1/2 hour earlier to do a dvd or while the kids are doing homework. I include them in a lot of exercise (walking, hiking, swimming, playing sports, dancing). I take time for me. Even it's only 1/2 hour a couple of times a week. The dishes can wait, I give them a lot of quality time so I don't feel guilty. I find that when I exercise I feel better, when I feel better I am a better mommy.

    It takes a little while to get into a routine and for everyone to adjust, but then it becomes second nature. The kids actually ask me, "when are you going to work out mommy?"

    Good luck, you can do it.
  • TheGsMama
    TheGsMama Posts: 80 Member
    It's all about making yourself a priority and deciding what doesn't need to be ahead of you. Dishes - nope, involved meals - nope, cleaning my own house - not even maybe. I get up early and workout or do the workouts after the kids go down for the night (7pm for my 4yo & 1.5yo). It also about realizing that by taking care of yourself you are more able to take of the rest of the people in your life. GL mama!
  • DrivenDiva
    DrivenDiva Posts: 233 Member
    My children are old enough where they are able to help one another out with homework, get their own pre-dinner snack and get themselves prepared for the next day.

    As far as dinner goes, my crock pot has been a huge sanity saver. Dinner is piping, hot and ready when we walk in the door in the evenings. if we don't use the crock pot that day, my spouse and I try to partner with one another to make sure someone has taken out something for dinner in the a.m. & helps prep it so it's a little easier in the evening.

    I am not a morning workout type person so I pack my gym bag and take it to work each day. I change my clothes at the end of the work day and go to the gym for one solid hour before I pick up my children from after-school care.

    So far, this is what's been working for me. When my kids were smaller, it definitely was more challenging.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I completely can relate to what you are going through. This is what my schedule looks like for the week. I have two little ones (5 and 2)

    I get up at 7:30 and get my kids dressed and eating...I get dressed and we leave the house by 8:15.
    I drop the kids at school and get to work right about 9.
    I work until 6 or 7.....
    Get home.....help get daughter in bed (she goes to bed at 7)
    Eat dinner and spend some time with son/wife.
    Get son ready for bed (He goes to bed at 8:30)
    Go to the gym and work out from 9-11ish
    Come home...watch 1 TV show shower and get in bed by 12:15 ish.

    Rinse and repeat. Once in a while I go to the gym straight on the way home.

    Definitely hectic.....and a lot sometimes......but it's worth it.
  • Khadines
    Khadines Posts: 64 Member
    This is very hard. I have 3 children (2 year old Twins and a 8 year old) they all demand so much attention from me. I am a single mother that work full-time and i go to school full-time. When I am not at work or school I am at cheerleading practice with my daughter on Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sat. While she is cheering I walk the lot across the street from where she practice and I push the twins in their stroller. I started putting them to bed earlier so I could go to the gym in the morning. It is very difficult, I do understand. I purchased a dry eraser board to jot down my daily activities.
  • perfect10isha
    perfect10isha Posts: 200 Member
    I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old so I"m right there with ya! When I was on maternity leave I was working out whenever the baby would take a nap or my mom watched him (2.5 daughter goes to daycare). Now that I'm back at work and the baby is still waking up 1-2 times a night I haven't been able to workout. BUT I am committed to making it work, so I just found a local small gym thats open 24/7, so my plan is to get in my workout clothes as soon as I get home from work, then as soon as I get the baby to sleep, usually by 8:30pm head right out the house and to the gym. Hubby takes care of bedtime for our 2.5 year old. I'm doing the NROLW, so I only need 3 days a week, so I plan on doing 2 workouts Mon-Fri and 1 workout on the weekends.

    Its so important that we take care of ourselves as mothers. Its a gift we give to our whole family. So it may require some give and take on your part, but it HAS to be a part of the routine. Whether its a JM 30 minute DVD when the kids go to sleep or walking on your lunch break, you have to make your health a priority for your sake and your children. Good luck mama!
  • I have a 6 yr old and 2 yr old twins... My husband works nights so my only time to get a workout in is at 5am. If I don't do it then and tell my self I will after work then it doesn't happen... A routine and support make all the difference. I have a neighbor who I go to the gym with so we keep eachother accountable too. For me, I had to fight through the "tired" feeling.. especially since my twins wake a few times a night when they are sick.. and they are sick alot!. If I used the "im tired and didn't sleep well" excuse then I would never become the healty me i look forward too.
  • kford9
    kford9 Posts: 16 Member
    i second all of the "the dishes can wait" and "easy dinners" (love my crockpot) posts. also, get creative! do you watch tv? work out during the commercials or walk in place for an entire show, run back and forth for the length of a room with your kids and then do a spidey crawl back and forth too (trust me, it's hard), do calf raises while washing the dishes, turn on the music and crazy dance! it doesn't always have to be a full-on routine..especially if you're just starting out. hopefully, if you can sneak exercise into your day, you'll start to feel a lil more energized.

    good luck!
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    I've been doing it after my 2 year old and 4 year old go to sleep at night for 5-6 days per week. My 4 year old started giving me a hard time at bed time about a year ago, and my 2 year old just joined him :(
    So now I'm going to try going to the gym at lunch instead because I can't get these kiddos to go to sleep. lol
  • tigertchr23
    tigertchr23 Posts: 418 Member
    Instead of taking a lunch hour, I work out during lunch and eat lunch at my desk!

    I agree! Bring your walking shoes to work or do some exercises at your desk, like these:

    http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/29-exercises-you-can-do-at-or-near-your-desk.html

    http://www.wisebread.com/10-exercises-to-do-at-work-that-dont-make-you-look-silly

    http://exercise.about.com/cs/exerciseworkouts/l/blofficeworkout.htm

    Best wishes :flowerforyou:
  • WhatDoesLisa
    WhatDoesLisa Posts: 214
    I don't have any kids but...I work for a huge company and many people bring their walking shoes and walk around the campus for 30 minutes a day. Is that possible for you to do? Grab the iPod or a friend?
  • wurgin
    wurgin Posts: 241 Member
    I had to wait until my youngest was 3 to make it work...

    We also do the bath-time with daddy
    sometimes i work out while they eat and have a shake or bar instead
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
    I'm a single mother of a 2-year old. I work 10 hours a day, then it's the whole dinner, dishes, bath, bedtime routine. I have two hours to myself after he goes to bed at night. That's when I work out.
  • bellesouth18
    bellesouth18 Posts: 1,071 Member
    I didn't read all the posts, but how many children do you have and what are their ages? A 5 year old can make a bed, unload/load a dishwasher, take out trash, clear the table, pick up toys, etc., which will free you up for some "me" time. If yours are old enough to help, don't be too critical of how they do their jobs. The children won't do their jobs as well as you do, but that's not the point. The point is to give you more time. While Daddy is home overseeing them and their chores, go work out. Delegate!!!
  • chenrytc2
    chenrytc2 Posts: 48
    Early in the morning before everyone wakes up and the day begins. It's quiet and I can do what I need to do for me. Also, see if your husband will give you a massage to help reduce the soreness/stiffness in the morning. The key is identifying a YOU time. You can also get support from the kids by asking them to help with the toddler, cleaning, etc. Whatever will give you that little bit of extra time. If it's important to "mommy" it should be important to the rest of the family.

    Stay motivated, you can do it because you are a mommy!