losing friends getting healthy

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tabik30
tabik30 Posts: 443
in Motivation and Support
It appears that I am everyone's favorite drinking buddy! I have a few friends almost not speaking to me because I won't have drinks. I have offered to meet them and walk or meet and not drink, but it doesn't seem to be well received. It's really getting to be a problem!

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  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    Well, they better get a grip. You can have various friends...I have all kinds of crazies :) But, a true friend would be willing to do something you want to once in awhile. Either that..or keep them as a drinking buddy for when you are in that mood and find some new ones for the walking..
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    Well, they better get a grip. You can have various friends...I have all kinds of crazies :) But, a true friend would be willing to do something you want to once in awhile. Either that..or keep them as a drinking buddy for when you are in that mood and find some new ones for the walking..

    I have to agree here. Real friends would know your goals, and be up for doing something you want to do once in a while, and support you. People don't adapt to change very well, maybe give them some time to realize you are serious about this and see if they come around. And like she said, you could always make some new friends to go walking with, or do other activities, and when you feel like a night out then call up your drinking pals.
  • mrh1227
    mrh1227 Posts: 37
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    Haha don't sweat it, when I stopped drinking the same thing happened, now I am the only one without a gut to show off at the beach this summer! Just keep up your progress and they'll soon just be witnesses to the effects drinking has on the body.
  • josery1630
    josery1630 Posts: 205 Member
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    Not every one accepts changes in their friends very easily, unfortunately. I've lost friends eliminating certain habits before. It sucks, but in the long run, it was for the best.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    Hasta la vista mother f*ckers.
  • VoodooLuLu
    VoodooLuLu Posts: 636 Member
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    seems like your finding out who your friends actually are
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    They are jealous, and trying to sabotage you.
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    I can empathise with this. I haven't cut out alcohol completely but it's not something I need to have a good night out whereas for a few of my friends it seems to be an essential. I can't drink too many of my day's calories without feeling incredibly hungry so commenting on how few I've had really isn't helpful. I want to be slim - not drunk!!
  • mummma
    mummma Posts: 402 Member
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    i usually just go and be the driver, my friends are usually thankful for the ride home lol x
  • BobbieLee1959
    BobbieLee1959 Posts: 605 Member
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    Your good, healthy choices make them feel badly about themselves and their own lack of dedication. There isn't much you can do except continue to invite them to meet with you (yes, this makes you vulnerable to rejection, which none of us need), but it also shows them you are a true friend that cares about them. If you continue offering and they continue rejecting, you will soon realize that they are not true friends and you will find others who share your interests and goals.

    People who share your interests are your real friends. They will also look and feel better, so you can have more fun with them anyway!!)

    BE TRUE TO YOU and you will find friends who will be true to you also!
  • msleesha
    msleesha Posts: 39
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    Don't be down about it. It's a good thing...now you see your "friends" for who they really are. I have lost friends, but have gained some awesome one's too. I still have a group of friends I meet up with and they always say to me "how can you sit here and watch us drink"...I told them it is easy....once you go through what I have been through and the results that I have so far- I don't even think about having a drink. Honestly, when I cut out the liquor, I started losing even more. Anyways, continue to be you and focus on yourself. Like I tell people, all of that stuff will be there when I get where I want to be and the funny thing is, I honestly don't crave half of the things I use to eat/drink.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    When I goto bars with my buddies, I never drink. Some of my buddies like it this way since I can be the DD then. But even if they didn't needed me as a DD, they still hangout with me there. I just sip on my coke or water or coffee or whatever I'm in mood for (which is still healthy). But then again, my drinking to get drunk days are behind me and same for my buddies, we drink because we like the taste of beer or singl malt scotch while having a conversation with a friend rather than drinking cheap liquor till you start puking
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    It appears that I am everyone's favorite drinking buddy! I have a few friends almost not speaking to me because I won't have drinks. I have offered to meet them and walk or meet and not drink, but it doesn't seem to be well received. It's really getting to be a problem!

    So meet them and order something in your budget. Which might be an expensive glass of seltzer water over ice. Or a nice cup of coffee. Or a light beer, if you're so inclined. Or, with a little exercise and calorie planning, an actual drink. But what you drink should be up to YOU, and have nothing to do with the social interaction with your pals.

    If it's a requirement that you drink alcohol in order to be sociable with them, then you might want to consider why this is a requirement, and whether these are the kinds of friends you really need.
  • danielpinkney
    danielpinkney Posts: 44 Member
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    Reminds me of a blog post from Phil Learney I read a while back... http://phillearneyblog.com/2012/02/05/becoming-beyond-average-and-whats-socially-acceptable/ - extract below:

    "In a bar with 10 people, 9 people are drinking alcohol and one bottles of water, who is most uncomfortable or awkward, the 9 people or the one drinking the water? Do you, as the water drinker spend time trying to persuade your friends to do something which will inherently be better for their health, their finances and probably ultimately their physique…..NO. The 9 people spend time trying to persuade you to drink alcohol? Is that offensive? Do these people like the thought of you dying younger, damaging your internal organs, becoming overweight and unhealthy? These are all questions that in reverse seem so stupid."

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