those who have recovered from an eating disorder

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shortie555
shortie555 Posts: 37 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone. hope all is well! i have a question for those who have recovered from an eating disorder. how long have you maintained your healthy weight and how many calories are you eating now to maintain that weight? I have been recovered for about two years now and I have been maintaing my weight for the most part, yet am still somewhat nervous that one day i will just gain a ton, although i know thats not rationale. and can you post your stats is you dont mind? also, do anyone of you still struggle mentally at times? Thanks so much for sharing! sorry if this is a long-winded post.
p.s. my stats are 5ft, 25 yrs old, 98 pounds. i eat 2200 cals a day and lift weights 3 times a week for like 30-40 minutes.

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  • maerieanne
    maerieanne Posts: 42 Member
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    Hi there (:
    It's been a year since I'm recovered, my lowest weight was 92.6, right now I'm around 115, I don't know how long or since when I got my healty weight, I wasn't allowed to see my weight 'till this march and I try not to weight myself too often.
    I'm the same, I'm comfortable right now with my weight but there are times when I feel fat but I try to think in something else or in how I felt when I was at my lowest, a book that really helps me it's wintergirls, I read it a lot when I had my ED but now I read it with the "outsider" pov and it's really scary how we portray to others, when I read it now I just can't believe I thought that was normal!
    I struggle a lot, specially when I see skinny girls, sometimes I even think less of me when I see them but as I said, I try to think in something else.
    Also, I'm still afraid of eating the whole amount of calories I'm supposed to, I feel secure even if there's 5 o 10 left but I always want to leave at least 150, I'm working on that right now but I know it'll be a long journey.
    My stats are 5'4, 21 years old, 115lbs aprox, 1200 cal a day, jog and lift weights 4 times a week.
  • jeffwalsh
    jeffwalsh Posts: 32 Member
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    Random question, do you think you ever recover from an ED or do you think that your recovery is a continual process?

    I feel like my process if much like an addiction (I'm a mental health and addictions counsellor now). I struggled with an ED from Grade 5 until my first year of university. On and off. I was a roller coaster of recovery and relapse. I still think I'm in recovery and will always be. Never know when I might relapse. I need to keep my eyes open to ensure that I don't cross that line between health and unhealthy eating.

    I also had to shift my focus from weight and focus on fitness. Two different concepts. :)
  • WelcomeToWonderland
    WelcomeToWonderland Posts: 89
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    Congrats on overcoming your ED! no one can really understand how hard it is unless they're been there and it takes a lot. You all should be really proud of yourselves for wanting to over come it and for overcoming it.

    it's been 3 years since i parted with anorexia. It's still extremely hard. Once my weight because dangerously low my mom threatened if i didn't start eating again she would stop as well until i ate and i was worried she was going to become ill from not eating so it scared me into eating again but now i'm constantly afraid im not eating enough my mom standards and tend to over eat a bit.

    It was pretty easy to regulate my weight and stay healthy after i recovered. I didn't gain any weight from it The reason i gained I am undergoing treatment for a disease ( a mix of chemo and steroids) and the steroids make you gain a ton of weight so i went from being 110 (after i recovered from anorexia ) to 200 pounds in about 2.5 months which devastated me but at least im alive so to complain about my weight seems silly now. So don't be scared of eating. the way i was able to stop worrying about it so much was walking. Just walking i knew i was helping my heart and keeping unwanted pounds away. Walking around the malls, going into your favourite shops it makes less of a chore.

    To be honest though, the only thing that keeps me from relapsing is the thought of my moms health.Maybe if you find something where it depends on you eating for their safety or well being ( like you need to eat so you can have enough energy to take care of your kids or go to school or work ) maybe it will keep you from relapsing as well.

    My stats are:
    5'7
    19 years old
    Lowest weight: 97 pounds
    highest weight: 200 pounds
    900-1500 calores a day
    Physical therapy 5 times a week
  • shortie555
    shortie555 Posts: 37 Member
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    thanks so much guys for replying.
    i totally hear both of you- and yes it is kind of a continuing process because sometimes the struggles flair up and other times they are quite dormant. i do find that i still have weird habits, such as eating really slowly at times or eating tiny peices, and i feel like its very hard to break that habit. but ive become much better at not weighing myself every day- now its more like once a week or every 2 weeks. but thankfully for those rough times in general i do have a therapist and a husband who really understands.
    marieanne- how did you come to 1200 cals? did you work with a nutritionist?
    jeffwalsh- funny because im a social worker now and i want to be a clinical social worker and work with people who have eating disorders or addictions. how is that going? is it triggering at all?
  • shortie555
    shortie555 Posts: 37 Member
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    just saw your post, welcometoewand. thanks so much for sharing and glad youre health is much better now. thanks for the advice as well!
  • jeffwalsh
    jeffwalsh Posts: 32 Member
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    I'm a social worker! haha. I'm in Canada so we call it Registered Social Worker (R.S.W.)!
  • maerieanne
    maerieanne Posts: 42 Member
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    jeffwalsh - I feel the same, I don't think I'll ever recover at all, I still have some triggers but with time I've learnt (and still am) how to control them. It's a matter of being careful with what or whom you let get to you.

    WelcomeToWond - I have that thought too, at first it was "if I don't do it for myself I should for my parents, I'm an investment after all" it might be silly but it helped untill I had the confidence and start feeling that I was worth something, whenever I feel I don't want to do it anymore I just think of them (:

    shortie555 - My BMR is 1250ish, I'm still kinda afraid to go over the 1000 cal so I try to reach at least 1200, and I did work with a nutritionist, at first I went every 15 days to make sure I was following it correctly, but it killed me cause I wanted to know my weight (and when I did I was even worse), after a while I went every month and now I go every 3 months, I won over her trust hahah, I just have to e-mail her my stats (taken by my bro) each month.
  • amaodonnell
    amaodonnell Posts: 100 Member
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    While I suffered from an eating disorder, I never got tiny.

    It was all mental for me and my eating. Its been about a year and a half of being consistent with myself for my husbands sake. When we first started dating I passed out on him because of lack of food. He has really pushed me to be dependable on my food.

    There are still days that I think about what if I don't eat this meal. Would it hurt me? I was so deep in that I never even got hungry and it took awhile for my body to process, ok, I am hungry, I need to eat.
  • begrace
    begrace Posts: 1
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    I too suffered from an eating disorder, though unlike most of you I was bulimic. I never got tiny in what most people would consider tiny. My lowest weight was 160, I was "skinny". I finally decided to turn my life around when I seen what my ED was doing to my body, my teeth suffered awfully and I also met someone who loved me for me. It wasn't easy and to be honest with you now that I have put on weight ( I stress about it CONSTANTLY) for the 5th consecutive year I am to that point where I have my mirrors covered. The only mirror I can see in is the medicine cabinet, which i can only see a little below my shoulder's up. Of course I catch glimpse's of myself in windows..etc...but It doesn't help with the part of me that still struggles with wanting/feeling like I need to purge.

    Jeff Walsh, to answer your question I don't think it ever goes away. I have an over whelming urge to track my calories and I do. If I don't track it on here you can rest assured I have it in my food diary.
  • avhendrix
    avhendrix Posts: 3
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    This is without a doubt an on-going struggle that cannot and will not ever go entirely away; it will always be somewhere in your mind, and it's a constant battle not to fall back into old ways. Sometimes unhealthy habits are comforting, skipping meals secretly empowering, but it's always about remembering the pain (physical and mental) of our low points. I find I still judge myself way too harshly and compare myself to people all too much and to scrupulously, and I'm definitely still working on it, despite technically being "healthy" now. At my lowest point, somewhere around 4 years ago, I was only 82 pounds, and only eating around 300 calories a day. I was skinny to say the least, but I was miserable! That is always my main motivation, I don't want the constant cold, the grumpiness, zero energy, bags under eyes, aches, etc. I want to be healthy, not just skinny.

    What I've come to realize the past few months is that starving ourselves causes semi-permanent damage to our metabolisms. When I started gaining weight mysteriously, I freaked out obviously, for I ate very healthily and exercised regularly. So to counter the weight gain I cut back calories, then some more, and still could not lose a pound. I figured out the issue, my metabolism had adapted to only eating 500-800 calories a day after doing that so long, which is just no good! Now I'm working on forcing myself to eat what my body SHOULD be burning, in hopes of raising my metabolism back up to a healthy level. There was an initial weight gain of about five pounds, but not much more, so I'm forcing myself to be strong and keep at it, and get my body where I want it in a healthy way, even though I know it will take much longer and be much harder, it's what we have to do!
  • jeffwalsh
    jeffwalsh Posts: 32 Member
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    Just got back on myfitnesspal again after a hiatus and started reading this one again. Does anyone else feel like they cycle? I feel like I've been rebelling against my body and binging for the past year + and now the thoughts to purge and restrict are coming back.

    I know I need to change my mindset to be healthy though. I need to eat cleaner and work out and be stronger again. Anyone else feel the same way?

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