Getting slapped would have been considerably less painful..

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After more than a 9 month absence and a lot of weight gain, I'm finally trying to restart with MFP and hopefully a much better exercise routine. I've only been back (a.k.a. consistently logging) for 3 days . Hopefully I will be able to continue.

Today, I called my grandfather to wish him a happy "May 9th" - I think it might be called V-day in America-and he got on to asking me about a peer advocacy job I recently applied to. I told him that I didn't get it. He said: "That's because you need to lose weight."

I wanted to go throw up my food right then and there. I didn't . I knew it was wrong. I forgive him. I know he was trying to motivate me, but it makes me feel like poo. I wish he hadn't said it.

I feel like the only reason I'm able to consistently log is because I'm not going out . I feel like it's impossible to do so, especially when you're someone that goes out a lot. My friend tells me that it's possible to eat sensibly and avoid temptation in those situations, but her attitude about it was very self righteous.

She gave me examples of when she went to a movie with her friend and he ordered a soda and popcorn with tons of butter and salt, she snacked on nuts to avoid temptation. She said that she was perfectly fine. Somehow, I really don't believe her. She also said I could get shakes or yogurt with fruit as an alternative to dessert. I seriously doubt that you could get something like that at say: "Applebees". It's very unrealistic. If you did get a shake or a yogurt, it would probably be around 500cal. I feel like with her way the only option to avoid temptation all together is get a salad or don't eat with your friends. meet up with them later.

Add that to the fact that I am very much an emotional eater and it's basically a recipe you wouldn't want to put on MFP.

I feel like it's impossible to find a balance.

Sigh.

Replies

  • DixiedoesMFP
    DixiedoesMFP Posts: 935 Member
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    I'm sorry your grandfather said that. It wasn't nice and it wasn't fair.

    However: It is still possible to go out and enjoy yourself. You just need to plan in advance. 1) Perhaps eat a little less throughout the day to have more calories left over and 2) Study the menu before you go so you have a plan in force. Depriving yourself of good times with friends will only derail you in the future.

    Good luck.
  • s1lence
    s1lence Posts: 493
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    There is balance believe it or not :) Your friend does have a good idea about controlling what you eat. While restaurants often times you can find things on the lower ends of calorie range Applebee's does have a list of several foods under say 550 calories, if you have a smart phone or tablet you can look things up using the App myfitnesspal has designed. Also you can substitute things in your foods if you are eating out. If a plate comes with deep fried whatever but you want a salad or steamed vegetables all you have to do is ask. Planning ahead is another great way to stay on track- if you have your meals planned for everything up until it's time to go out with friends you then have an idea of what you can have while out. If you are going somewhere and you don't think you can have the food, bring your own- sounds odd but people do it.

    With the emotional eating issue, I would suggest trying to find a different way in which to calm yourself- a walk or other exercise, a hobby to turn too, or even writing in a diary or on the blog provided for you by the site.

    Take it a day at a time, give yourself some wiggle room, know that you are only human. Try to stay positive. 3 days is a great start, keep it up! I wish you luck in all your endeavors.
  • BandedTriaRN
    BandedTriaRN Posts: 303
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    [/quote]
    Add that to the fact that I am very much an emotional eater and it's basically a recipe you wouldn't want to put on MFP.

    I feel like it's impossible to find a balance.

    Sigh.
    [/quote]

    Reading "Shrink Yourself" by Dr Roger L. Gould, MD truly helped me tremendously with emotional/stress eating. You should give it a try!
  • JCDF
    JCDF Posts: 25
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    I just looked at what I could see of your profile. Your motivation is to lose weight and be healthy.

    Sweet girl, I have fought the weight battle for what feels like a million years. I like to say that I dieted my way up to this weight.

    Now, in my old age, I finally, finally found a way. I take breaks from it too, and when I do, I don't gain back the weight!

    I decided not to emphasize weight loss. I switched that saying around. Now I want to be healthy and lose weight. But the BIG emphasis is on healthy. Weight seems to come off as a side effect of pursuing health.

    I am on the anti inflammatory diet to control some issues in my body. My suggestion is to find a comfortable diet for yourself, work towards regaining or maintaining your good health, and get stronger and stronger. Don't fuss over the weight, but focus hard on your health and well being. You will probably be surprised at how the weight comes off. Maybe slowly, but I bet it will.

    Do a LOT of research into healthy eating. Look at the glycemic index of the food choices you want to make. I took potatoes out of my diet entirely. They are VERY high on the glycemic index. If you have any potatoes, just let it be a few little bites, then no more. Stuff like that. That was just an example.

    Please hang in there. Don't beat yourself up over it. My focus on my health has made a HUGE difference in my life. And I've lost about 39 pounds so far by focusing on health.
  • jknottage
    jknottage Posts: 64 Member
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    Welcome back and good luck on your new journey!

    I totally agree with the post by dixie..., you can definately go out, you just have to plan ahead, eat fewer calories that day, or even for a few days prior, squeeze and extra workout, just to have a little more to enjoy yourself with! Totally denying yourself isn't good, just makes it harder to stay on the right path longterm. And nowadays most chain restaurants have websites with their menu and nutritional information. Use that to your advantage and try to see what your best options or choices are. Again, enjoy yourself, but be prepared! I don't always know what I'm going to be "in the mood for", so I try to be aware of the menu and what I'd like and what the calories, fat, etc are. That way I can have something I like but try to pick one of the better options.
  • Drawberry
    Drawberry Posts: 104 Member
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    If you feel deep down that it's best for you to avoid putting yourself into certain situations, then you have every right to do what you feel is best.

    However, you cannot possibly avoid social eating situations the rest of your life and eating healthy long-term is going to be about you learning to control yourself and take hold of the emotional triggers that send you off track. I too, am a VERY emotional eater. I was diagnosed with both depression and social anxiety disorder years ago in my teens, which as one can imagine can make for a pretty thick bubbling stew of 'emotional bull****' if I am unable to keep the upper hand.

    Putting yourself out in these situations, and keeping control and making good choices will not only be incredibly rewarding to you but will mean all the world in how your progress continues.

    Boyfriend and I went out to see a movie just this past weekend(Avengers, anyone?) and instead of giving into him wanting a giant Large popcorn and drink I brought a bottle of water and we got a medium popcorn. I asked for a separate bag and filled it less then half way with popcorn from his medium sized bag, and ended up eating HALF OF A SMALL bag of popcorn this way while Boyfriend refilled the rest of his medium bag :smokin: A small bag of popcorn is over 600 calories (WOWZA!) so I cut my calories for the trip down to around 350!

    Sure if you go out to dinner most restaurants don't serve healthy options for dessert, but you don't need to get one every time you go out. When you do go to a place like Applebee's you can get one of their 'dessert shots' which are little desserts served in shot glasses. Anything that is described as being 'miniature' pretty much translates into it being what a real single serving is suppose to look like! If you can order something fruit-based that's even better. Depending on where you go and the time of year some restaurants may offer a scoop of ice cream with fruit on top or fruit tarts.

    Here's three of the most referenced healthiest restaurant dessert options:

    T.G.I. Friday’s: Chocolate Raspberry Mini Dessert (220 cal)

    Chili’s: Sweet Shot Key Lime Pie (240 cal, 12 g fat, 75 mg sodium)

    Romano’s Macaroni Grill: Italian Sorbetto with Biscotti (240 cal, 1 g fat, 35 mg sodium)

    If you're going out with friends, don't be afraid to ask the waitstaff the calorie content of a particular menu item and ask for changes such as getting something grilled and not fried and asking for sauce on the side. If you know ahead of time what restaurant you'll be going to you can look on their website menu ahead of time and plan out a few options. I almost always do this before going out to eat with Boyfriend just to get an idea of a few choices.

    Don't give in to the unspoken social pressures to eat what others do-it's a trap I've fallen into far too often!

    Just an hour ago Boyfriend and I picked up some candy bars for his family and while they where getting 3 musketeers, almond joy's, and hershey bars I got the special k fruit crisp package that comes with two fruit filled pastry crisps that are drizzled with yogurt. Each pack is only 100 calories and has TWO bars inside. The blueberry ones where delicious and I have a strawberry one to try for tomorrow. I feel really proud of myself for not giving into the chocolate temptation just because it's what others where doing and I ended up finding a new treat I really enjoy.