Self Perception

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RobynDCrossman
RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
in Motivation and Support
To start, let me say - I don't think that this is an issue of body dysmorphia.

I have lost 72 lbs since starting my journey. I am very close to my previously chosen goal weight.
As I creep closer to my goal of 115 - I still find that I am MUCH larger than I thought I would be at this size and I realize that this may not be the 'right' stopping point.
I was 199 lbs when I started. Of course, I am saggy and droopy. (I'm working on that.)
I look at myself in the mirror and I'm not pleased.

How do you adjust your mind to see yourself how you ACTUALLY look? I'm wondering if I will ever get to that 'happy' place with my body or if it's all in self perception.
Any thoughts? Been there? Lived it?
I'd be happy to hear anything you have to offer.
Thanks!
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Replies

  • hml86
    hml86 Posts: 225 Member
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    First off let me say a BIG CONGRATS to you for all the weight you loss!! That's FantastIc!!!

    I also have a problem seeing myself the way everyone else sees me ( as a smaller person). I look in the mirror and still see myself at 212lbs!! Even after I've lost 47lbs, I still have that image of me being HUGE!!! I didn't realize how much I have actually loss until I put a before and after picture side by side, then I could finally see what everyone else sees!! Have you tried that?? You look GREAT & should be VERY PROUD of your success!!
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    First off let me say a BIG CONGRATS to you for all the weight you loss!! That's FantastIc!!!

    I also have a problem seeing myself the way everyone else sees me ( as a smaller person). I look in the mirror and still see myself at 212lbs!! Even after I've lost 47lbs, I still have that image of me being HUGE!!! I didn't realize how much I have actually loss until I put a before and after picture side by side, then I could finally see what everyone else sees!! Have you tried that?? You look GREAT & should be VERY PROUD of your success!!

    I have to tell you, you were a thousand percent right. I look at the photos separately, always. Putting them next to each other is... well. An eye opener. Something I hadn't really thought much about - but it DEFINITELY reminds me of where I was.
    Thank you! :)
  • ka97
    ka97 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    Wow, I was just having similar thoughts tonight. I'd never thought I could get to this point, and as I've gotten closer and now almost to my goal, I wonder why I still feel fat. And yes I've done the side by side picture thing. But I still don't see it in the mirror. I know it's irrational, but I look in the mirror, and I see fat. I go to the gym, and I feel fat. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom to share, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone.
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    robyn21-250x300.jpg
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,098 Member
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    go back and resize them to about 400 X 600. It's way too big for the forum.
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    go back and resize them to about 400 X 600. It's way too big for the forum.

    Ah. Thank you. :)
  • awmejia
    awmejia Posts: 147 Member
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    even though my old clothes fall off of me I still feel like I am the same size. maybe it just takes our brains time to catch up with our bodies.
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    Wow, I was just having similar thoughts tonight. I'd never thought I could get to this point, and as I've gotten closer and now almost to my goal, I wonder why I still feel fat. And yes I've done the side by side picture thing. But I still don't see it in the mirror. I know it's irrational, but I look in the mirror, and I see fat. I go to the gym, and I feel fat. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom to share, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone.

    The knowledge that I'm not swimming around out here by myself does make an enormous difference. Looking at myself in the photos does place a nice reminder of where I came from and how much I've done. But I too have the same issue looking in the mirror. It's bizarre because people tell me all the time I'm getting 'too small' but I still stare aimlessly trying to figure out how to get rid of the remainder. I'm with you. Thank you for your words. :)
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    even though my old clothes fall off of me I still feel like I am the same size. maybe it just takes our brains time to catch up with our bodies.

    I hope so. I had to get rid of everything in my closet - yet I still see myself as that other person.
    You've had amazing results! :)
  • hml86
    hml86 Posts: 225 Member
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    robyn21-250x300.jpg

    Holy smoke!! You look FANTASTIC!! Big difference!! You look soo happy in your after pic!!! You're doing AWESOME!!!
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
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    robyn21-250x300.jpg

    Wow! You look awesome!
  • MyNewZen
    MyNewZen Posts: 101 Member
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    robyn21-250x300.jpg

    Amazing work!

    It’s just not the difference in size, the smile and the sports clothes make you look like a completely different girl!
  • BazAbroad
    BazAbroad Posts: 248
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    You look amazing, an inspiration to many I am guessing.
    The self perception thing, yes, many have a distorted view of themselves.
    I used to work in a Gym and I used to see, huge blokes and hear them complain about how small they are.
    It goes in all directions.
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
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    Wow, I was just having similar thoughts tonight. I'd never thought I could get to this point, and as I've gotten closer and now almost to my goal, I wonder why I still feel fat. And yes I've done the side by side picture thing. But I still don't see it in the mirror. I know it's irrational, but I look in the mirror, and I see fat. I go to the gym, and I feel fat. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom to share, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone.

    The knowledge that I'm not swimming around out here by myself does make an enormous difference. Looking at myself in the photos does place a nice reminder of where I came from and how much I've done. But I too have the same issue looking in the mirror. It's bizarre because people tell me all the time I'm getting 'too small' but I still stare aimlessly trying to figure out how to get rid of the remainder. I'm with you. Thank you for your words. :)

    First of all you look GREAT, such a change! Congratulations on your achievements so far.
    I don't know what your exercise routine is but I wanted to ask you, are you doing any weight training, I mean, serious, heavy lifting?
    This is just an idea and I may be completely wrong here but perhaps your issue is not about self perception. You clearly have lost a lot of weight and you clearly look great in my opinion. But you also might have lost some muscle along with the fat. Remember, the scale doesn't tell you everything. Body composition is also important. If you feel like you're not where you imagined you would be but already are at your goal weight, starting a weight training program might work for you.

    Look at this girl at the following link. Like you, she has lost a lot of weight, she went from 170 to 117 and in my opinion she looked good at 117. But then she started weight training and GAINED weight, muscle weight. And went from looking great to looking awesome.
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
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    Bump I have a very low self esteem
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
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    I have exactly the same problem. Whatever I'm told I don't think I'm screwy or have Dysmorphia... I think these are just excuses to give yourself permission to fail.

    I have a mate who always looks good .. sometimes he's not always 100% but even at 97,98,99% its close enough to have what I call 'the right look'

    I think it is simply I am 95% there (between obese and having abs) but as I said before to look how I want... have 'the look' I have to be in the 97+% range of achievement So yeah I know I'm doing very well but until I achieve that look I wan't I'm just a runner up as be 95% I may as well only be at 40% or 50% ... and the last few steps are so much harder than the ease with which it drops off at the beginning, I mean I lost 4 stone in about 6 months at the beginning just by cutting out bread and cake!!! Now it takes me a year to go up 10kg on bench or 1/2inch on my biceps.

    So just keep at it - you have done well, ... very well!! ... but keep at it until you get to your goal
  • kmayne
    kmayne Posts: 82 Member
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    I totally, absolutely know how you feel. I have even done the side-by-side pictures. I know there is a big difference, but I still see so much more to work on with only 9 pounds left to lose. It's like the rational part of my brain is completely aware of and even proud of the weight loss, but the emotional part still sees the fat girl in the mirror, just wearing different clothes. So I know how you feel. It's a disappointment to be this close to goal weight and not look as awesome as I hoped I would...
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    First of all you look GREAT, such a change! Congratulations on your achievements so far.
    I don't know what your exercise routine is but I wanted to ask you, are you doing any weight training, I mean, serious, heavy lifting?
    This is just an idea and I may be completely wrong here but perhaps your issue is not about self perception. You clearly have lost a lot of weight and you clearly look great in my opinion. But you also might have lost some muscle along with the fat. Remember, the scale doesn't tell you everything. Body composition is also important. If you feel like you're not where you imagined you would be but already are at your goal weight, starting a weight training program might work for you.

    Look at this girl at the following link. Like you, she has lost a lot of weight, she went from 170 to 117 and in my opinion she looked good at 117. But then she started weight training and GAINED weight, muscle weight. And went from looking great to looking awesome.
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/


    I'm glad you've said this! I actually contacted a trainer yesterday - as the toning is now fully necessary. I have talked to so many - and I too agree - it's not about the number on the scale, but how you appear. I don't mind gaining weight for being more toned. :)
    I will definitely check that out. Thank you so much for the positive words!
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
    Options
    I totally, absolutely know how you feel. I have even done the side-by-side pictures. I know there is a big difference, but I still see so much more to work on with only 9 pounds left to lose. It's like the rational part of my brain is completely aware of and even proud of the weight loss, but the emotional part still sees the fat girl in the mirror, just wearing different clothes. So I know how you feel. It's a disappointment to be this close to goal weight and not look as awesome as I hoped I would...

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. I am so close to the original goal and I have to say... huh? I thought it would be 'different'. Of course, people always reiterate how amazing the transformation is and that's always nice because it gives perspective. But when I look at myself? I'm not where I wanted.
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
    Options
    I have exactly the same problem. Whatever I'm told I don't think I'm screwy or have Dysmorphia... I think these are just excuses to give yourself permission to fail.

    I have a mate who always looks good .. sometimes he's not always 100% but even at 97,98,99% its close enough to have what I call 'the right look'

    I think it is simply I am 95% there (between obese and having abs) but as I said before to look how I want... have 'the look' I have to be in the 97+% range of achievement So yeah I know I'm doing very well but until I achieve that look I wan't I'm just a runner up as be 95% I may as well only be at 40% or 50% ... and the last few steps are so much harder than the ease with which it drops off at the beginning, I mean I lost 4 stone in about 6 months at the beginning just by cutting out bread and cake!!! Now it takes me a year to go up 10kg on bench or 1/2inch on my biceps.

    So just keep at it - you have done well, ... very well!! ... but keep at it until you get to your goal
    Thank you for the push! I think you're quite right. I know I will keep moving forward until I get to that happy place - as I don't think it's all strictly mental in respect to what I perceive myself to look like. :)

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