In you opinion, can men and woman every be JUST friends

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xHelloQuincyx
xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
in Chit-Chat
*your (sorry haha)

Ive had a best friend for about 4 years now. I recently went off to college and have not seen him for a while. when we were in highschool we had a tiny bit of a romantic encounter, but it really didnt go anywere. we still remained great friends. Im not attracted to how he looks, but he has the best personality ever. Lately we have been talking a lot more, and hanging out when I come into town. usually all we do is go to parties, and just hang out with friends. but this time he picked me up and said he wanted to go to applebees O.O (a sit down place). so i was like hmm okay. after that we were smoking in his car looking out the sun roof at the sky and he said something about how sad it was to not have a girlfriend when he is almost 20. i was just like errr. 'give it time' or something super lame and over used like that. I'm older then him so I'm not sure if this was him trying to ask for advice or not... gah so confused.

so boys and girls, do you think its possible to be just friends with someone? or does being so close to someone pretty much guaranty an attraction at some point?
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Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    It's not really a matter of opinion. It happens. And that doesn't mean anything for your relationship, by the way.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Friends, sure.

    Best friends? Something more to it..
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    It's not really a matter of opinion. It happens. And that doesn't mean anything for your relationship, by the way.

    lol i dont really care how my relationship with him will turn out, I know that I want to be JUST friends. its just something i was thinking about, and wanted to give some background to the story. seems like most people who are friends with the opposite sex end up getting together at some point or another. so i just wanted to do a 'poll'
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
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    I think is possible to just be friends...if that is what you both want. I am sure sometimes a person can "fall" for someone mentally, or just physically down the road. It really is up to the individual if you want something to progress out of those feelings. I personally have never had a "male" figure in my life to say much about just being "friends", although I think it would have been cool to have someone of the opposite sex to help me along through my life. I envy those females who have male friends or males that have a great female friend. I believe we need both in our lives to help balance trials and tribulations just as long as it truly is "just" friends. :smile:
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
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    he said something about how sad it was to not have a girlfriend when he is almost 20.
    I believe that he confused sad with awesome.

    That said, I think that one side will always be more attracted than the other. It's entirely possible that two friends can have an idea of the boundaries of a relationship, but I believe that one side will always have a different idea.

    At least, that's what I've noticed. But I'm astute. And I'd never love someone more than she loved me.
    -wtk
  • imreadii2011
    imreadii2011 Posts: 7 Member
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    I would love to 'just be friends' with some men. However, they usually want more and it never works out for me.
  • springseternal
    springseternal Posts: 245 Member
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    For some reason, I have more male friends than female friends. I interact better with men for some reason.
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
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    Yeah from experience if you get really quite close there's always one side that develops some sort of feelings. I guess it just depends how strong they are. I have a couple of good friends that are girls, on one side I have a bit of an attraction to one but I'd never act on it, and one the other side I have a friend that I know has a bit of an attraction towards me. I'd never let either play out though because I've been there and made that mistake and you can never undo it.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded#!
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    as long as they are chaperoned!
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    Yeah from experience if you get really quite close there's always one side that develops some sort of feelings. I guess it just depends how strong they are. I have a couple of good friends that are girls, on one side I have a bit of an attraction to one but I'd never act on it, and one the other side I have a friend that I know has a bit of an attraction towards me. I'd never let either play out though because I've been there and made that mistake and you can never undo it.

    ahhh. this is exactly how i feel. :/ I dont wanna just come out and say "hey I never wanna be with you like that, but I hope we can stay friends" and then it turns out hes not actully attracted to me and then it gets all awkward or something. should i just not say anything then?
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    One of my best friends is a guy, he would never cross the line because he knows I would kick his *kitten*. So yes, I think men and women can be just friends.
  • MissTomGettingThin
    MissTomGettingThin Posts: 776 Member
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    Friends, sure.

    Best friends? Something more to it..

    This
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded#!


    oh god. lolol. this actully helps a lot.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    It is very difficult for that to happen.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    Yes.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    as long as they are chaperoned!

    most of the time we hang out alone and play video games o.o
  • aprilgicker
    aprilgicker Posts: 395 Member
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    Yes, Even on one drunken night when both of you decide to give it a try, you will still be friends. If it is meant to be it will, but if not you will have a good laugh.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Anyone can be friends with anyone and not have it be suggestive. A man can be friends with a woman. A Republican can be friends with a Democrat. An idiot can be friends with a person of higher intelligence. Just because gender is in the equation doesn't mean diddly-poop.

    Are there people of the opposite sex that will want the friendship to be more? Sure, but unless they're purposely making things awkward or making advances it's something no one needs to worry about. Hell I had two best friends I had to keep separate when they were at my house, both were female, because one was bisexual and had a crush on the other even though she was dating someone. They were still friends, but I had to be with them because no one tried anything with me there. Eventually that friendship fell apart.

    As for people who can't trust their significant others with friends of the opposite sex, that's you not trusting your partner, not their friends. You can say "oh I don't trust their friend" all you want but basically you're saying that you can't trust your loved one to hold their own should said friend make an advance. And if you honestly have trust issues or are not comfortable, fine. Your issues.

    Long story short, as a fact, men and women can be just friends and never want nor try for anything more.
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
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    Of course, if you have a lot of male friends, chances are eventually you'll fall for one of them or the other way around.

    That doesn't mean it's impossible. *shrug* It's just about expectations and maturity. A little attraction in friendship doesn't necessarily doom it.

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