Others that have lost a lot, does this feeling ever go away?

Brandicaloriecountess
Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I have lost a lot of weight and I feel like a different person, I began to feel different right away. Then I just had to wait for my body to catch up lol. My first year of weight loss I passed up a lot of outings with friends and skipped a lot of food at parties. I'm trying to integrate stuff like that back into my life this year. So here is my question...

Did/do you feel like every "bad" thing you eat is going to instantly make you fat again? I mean logically I know that it doesn't work that way but I feel overwhelemed with these thoughts at times. For instance my daughter came back from her dads and brought me a candy bar, I had the calories for it and wanted it so I ate it. But this morning I thought omg I hope my shorts still fit after yesterday.

If you did feel like that, does the feeling lighten up and or go away? I mean I totally know that it's not what I do occasionally that will make a big difference but rather what I do usually. Like before I used to occasionally eat healthy food and occasionally go to the gym lol. So am I just totally nuts?

Replies

  • cerrajean
    cerrajean Posts: 188 Member
    I can understand what you're saying, but that's not at all how I operate. When I read the title I thought it might be that feeling of "WOW, LOOK AT EVERYTHING I'VE ACCOMPLISHED!" Because that's what I keep feeling. I want to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I know that I've lost nearly 50lbs. I don't want this feeling to ever go away.

    I've never really had food guilt, but I haven't come nearly as far as you. I guess it's probably different for each person. You're always going to know what it felt like at your largest, and you hated that feeling enough to get to where you are now, so it's completely understandable that you don't want to end up back there. Just listen to that voice of reason that told you 'you have the calories for the candy bar, and you want the candy bar.' if you end up feeling guilty, maybe just eat half of it next time?
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have lost 85 pounds in the last 14 months, and except for special occasions I have stuck to my calories and healthy eating, and working out every single day. In the first several months it didn't seem to be a big deal when I ate something "bad" or had a cheat meal/day...I would just workout a little harder and then get right back on track the next day. It seems like recently though I have a lot of anxiety with eating over my calories, or even eating something unhealthy that fits in with my calories. I just have this panicky feeling that my weight is going to come right back on. It's the WORST and scariest feeling. I haven't eaten anything unhealthy in weeks, but today since we were going out to dinner for Mother's Day I decided to eat something that was not so healthy on the menu. Well...I felt guilty and bloated and mad at myself afterwards, and even though I had already taken an hour long zumba class in the morning I came home and went for a long walk. I know this is irrational thinking like you do, but I can't help feeling like I am going to wake up the next day fat again. It sucks!!!! LOL:frown:
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    It did go away for me, for the most part. After I had lost the first 100 lbs I would just freak myself out over things like a candy bar. But I have, like a mantra in my head, realized that I sure didn't lose the weight overnight and I'm sure not going to gain it back overnight. In fact now I can laugh about when I eat some pizza I gain about 5 lbs of water weight overnight!

    I've also come to the realization that I did not want to live constantly worried about food. I'm about 22 lbs away from my goal weight, which terrifies me because I have been doing this "weight loss" thing for so long that it has become my identity. I'm wondering what I am going to obsess about next. But I don't want to obsess right now anymore. I would advise just continuing to live your life to the fullest and not sweat the small stuff.

    Congratulations on your loss!
  • zeldalemons
    zeldalemons Posts: 16 Member
    yes. i definitely feel like EVERY thing will make me fat. i feel like the world wants me to be fat again. i end up resenting people because i have this thought in my head that they are out to sabbatage me. i hope this doesn't last forever.
  • lrnpage
    lrnpage Posts: 27
    i never really worry about it too much because a part of being healthy is making yourself happy with a little indulgence once in a while. i have done it throughout the whole of my weightloss and it hasn't hindered me at all. Just start small and eaase yourself back into it. You just need to remember so long as it's not an every day thing you'll be totally fine :) Once you get over the mental obstacle you'll be fine
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member
    I certainly can't say my weight loss is on the same scale as yours OP, but I feel like I can relate to the desire to want to be more socially outgoing yet still somewhat fear the drinks/food that accompany outings. The answer I've learned is just being proactive about your food intake. If you know you're going out, you might skimp a little earlier in the day or spend extra time in the gym. I know my scale still fluctuates wildly after a couple bad days but I know in the back of my head that knows numbers are just temporary and a couple days back on track they'll be gone. My fear of gaining the weight back has diminished, now I just want to lose the last couple pounds and maintain!
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
    Yes. I've felt like that. I felt that *all* the time at first and then it slowed down. Honestly, I struggled more with how people perceived me and also feeling a little weak and insubstantial when I got quite thin. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I think it's VERY normal to feel a little panicky about any break in the routine you've worked so hard to establish. The important thing is to recognize that it's illogical and don't let it throw you too hard in either direction.

    You mentioned being a little worried about what to do when the weight comes off. Maintenance is pretty big deal; you'll be busy doing that. :O) And, there's always new exercises to try, new recipes, new challenges. But, that will come in time. And, you'll handle it just fine when it comes.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Atjays you're right one doesn't have to have lost a whole person to "get it"
    It's weird because I don't feel guilt over eating some thing or fitting it into my day as much as I just feel like it will somehow be noticeable. I will show up to my workout class thinking I bet they can all look at me and know I ate candy lol!

    Thanks for all of the responses

    Nichole I have 9-14 pounds left to lose. It is very exciting yet scary. I'm like you in the it becomes such a focus it's almost an obsession. I guess I'm just ready to feel normal and be normal.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    It did go away for me, for the most part. After I had lost the first 100 lbs I would just freak myself out over things like a candy bar. But I have, like a mantra in my head, realized that I sure didn't lose the weight overnight and I'm sure not going to gain it back overnight. In fact now I can laugh about when I eat some pizza I gain about 5 lbs of water weight overnight!

    I've also come to the realization that I did not want to live constantly worried about food. I'm about 22 lbs away from my goal weight, which terrifies me because I have been doing this "weight loss" thing for so long that it has become my identity. I'm wondering what I am going to obsess about next. But I don't want to obsess right now anymore. I would advise just continuing to live your life to the fullest and not sweat the small stuff.

    Congratulations on your loss!

    fitness.... Concentrate on getting stronger and doing new things that your new weight level will allow you to do... I am thinking ahead... Have lost the weight twice before and partially 1 other time... I have found new activities that I am "obsessing" about to keep me going in the right direction... Getting stronger... Chest pressing more and more, etc. whatever it takes... Take a martial arts class...
  • pamelad77
    pamelad77 Posts: 292 Member
    Yep, totally with you on this one. It's almost like being in a dream, I still think that one week I'll do my weigh in and it will have all magically reappeared again and it's all been a cruel joke! Can't quite grasp that I've lost the amount I have!
    Think my brain just needs to catch up with the rest of me!
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    I don't know when or if it goes away. I started this at a size 16. I bought my first pair of 8's the other day, they are almost too big. first thing this morning I had to try them on to make sure I hadn't grown 2 sizes overnight.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Did/do you feel like every "bad" thing you eat is going to instantly make you fat again? I mean logically I know that it doesn't work that way but I feel overwhelemed with these thoughts at times. For instance my daughter came back from her dads and brought me a candy bar, I had the calories for it and wanted it so I ate it. But this morning I thought omg I hope my shorts still fit after yesterday.

    If you did feel like that, does the feeling lighten up and or go away? I mean I totally know that it's not what I do occasionally that will make a big difference but rather what I do usually. Like before I used to occasionally eat healthy food and occasionally go to the gym lol. So am I just totally nuts?

    Sorta...for me it wasn't about being fat. Instead it was about diabetes. I used to be a type II diabetic. I ate healthier, exercised, lost 100 lbs. and reversed it. I never stressed or worried about being fat for eating something bad. Instead I worried about relapsing to my bad old habits that I become diabetic again. I quit soda pop cold turkey Dec. 2009 and haven't had any since. When it comes to my diet that's really the only thing I completely avoid.
  • HappyStack
    HappyStack Posts: 802 Member
    I worry about my willpower more than anything. Especially when I eat a few 'naughty' treats or skip an exercise and don't see the scales tip higher.

    It's a bit of a panic that I'll see that and think, "well... one more won't hurt."

    But at the end of the day, 100+lbs of weight loss doesn't come by luck. You've made changes to your lifestyle and habits, and just like it took a long time to change them, they won't revert overnight.

    The important thing is you're cautious and ready to catch yourself if ever you do fall into a complacency about your diet.
  • soph501
    soph501 Posts: 47 Member
    Yup I feel like that all the time. I think I forget that it took me over a year to lose it all so it wouldn't be logical that one bad day would cause me put it all back on again ^_^. I think it's something that takes time to get used to.
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
    I am feeling like this at the moment not all the time as I do give myself the odd day off and have treats. But on the days I am being healthy I really like to stick with what I have planned to eat. Some of my friends are saying I am obsessive but I really dont want to ruin my hard work. I know I can have a treat day and what I can get away with without piling 10lbs back on in a weekend.

    I just want to say how absolutely commending it is that you have lost so much weight well done honey. You look amazing and you cant beat the feeling of healtiness and vitality. I feel 100% better and have about 8lbs to go to my target.

    Once again well done truely inspiring xxx
  • AshinAms
    AshinAms Posts: 283 Member
    Yes, I still feel like that!
  • vonnywaft
    vonnywaft Posts: 182
    Maybe keeping a diary of thoughts and feelings would help? When you're feeling like that write down what happened (the candy bar), how you feel (guilt, fear), what your belief is about it (I'm going to put all that weight back on) and give the belief a rating out of 10. then in another column write down the rational thoughts that challenge that belief (I had the calories to spare, I can't put all that weight back on overnight, I can get straight back on track), then maybe do another column with some motivational statements about it (I can still have treats and maintain my loss; I'm doing this for my long term health, one candy bar can't derail my efforts; I can do this) really spend some time on the rational thoughts and motivational thoughts then go back to the column about your belief (I'm going to put all that weight back on) and rate it out of 10 again (you can also rate your feelings the same way before and after). See what happens!
  • dennydifferent
    dennydifferent Posts: 135 Member
    I think it does go away eventually. Or a least, it lessens. I'm still quite paranoid about food, but getting better. The reason I think it gets better is that when I started losing weight, I would measure and weigh myself obsessively. I'm talking multiple times a day. If I didn't lose 2lb a week I would panic. That has now eased off. I often forget to measure myself at all, and whilst I get on the scales every day to monitor, I only record once a week.

    So it kind of got better naturally, just over time. It helps to be comfortable in what you're eating, ie know your calorie level (or carb level in my case) without having to punch in numbers all the time, takes a bit of the obsessive element out of it.

    I'm determined to stop worrying about food so much though. When I started this, food dominated my thoughts, and I don't want to end up 120lb lighter and still obsessed with food. So I'm easing up, slowly.
  • pelleld
    pelleld Posts: 363 Member
    Sometimes I think the psychological part of weight loss is harder than the physical. And because its not something you SEE its a harder battle to fight. I am happy to see some people reporting that it does get better. For me its been difficult.

    I've been in maintenance for almost a year, lost an additional 10 pounds the first 6 months of maintenance and then settled in at 115 since November 2011. I fluctuate with a couple pounds of that pretty much no matter what I do. I find myself thinking I can "get away" with a little more eating, a little less logging, then grow terrified that it will be reflected in the scale. When it isn't, I then expect to wake up one morning 10 pounds heavier and all my smaller clothes no longer fitting. I'm slowly learning that for me, the "freedom" that comes with maintenance is dangerous and I need to approach maintenance with the same committment and energy I approached the weight loss. Its been a real struggle for me and I find maintenance harder than losing.

    You have done an amazing job and should be so proud of yourself.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Right dead on about the psychological portion being as or more difficult than the physical part. I've totally had to face a lot of feelings that I used to shut up with food lol.

    Reading some of these responses I realize that I think it's more a fear that I will become too complacent with "bad" food choices than the actual one candy bar. Like I will just slip into making it a regular part of my routine to eat junk or eat out. I don't see that happening but I think that is the fear.

    Thanks for being my sounding board. I don't feel like many people can get where I a coming from if they either haven't been overweight or haven't lost weight. I totally focus on fitness more than the scale number now but the fear of the all mighty scale number is still there, I feel like I have to stay aware of it as an indicator that I am staying fit and active if that makes sense.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    I started practicing for the idea of being morbidly obese by becoming a recluse before I ever gained the weight. I'm actually starting to get out more now. As for food indulgence, if it fits in my macros, I'll eat ice cream, beer or whatever. I had ice cream last night. I haven't had a beer since around christmas.
  • pelleld
    pelleld Posts: 363 Member
    Right dead on about the psychological portion being as or more difficult than the physical part. I've totally had to face a lot of feelings that I used to shut up with food lol.

    Reading some of these responses I realize that I think it's more a fear that I will become too complacent with "bad" food choices than the actual one candy bar. Like I will just slip into making it a regular part of my routine to eat junk or eat out. I don't see that happening but I think that is the fear.

    Thanks for being my sounding board. I don't feel like many people can get where I a coming from if they either haven't been overweight or haven't lost weight. I totally focus on fitness more than the scale number now but the fear of the all mighty scale number is still there, I feel like I have to stay aware of it as an indicator that I am staying fit and active if that makes sense.

    People who have never had issues with food have a hard time "getting it". And its just so hard to explain to someone else something that I don't always understand myself. I suspect that there will always be a part of me that has the "fear" but I am hoping it gets better with time. I think we need to learn to trust ourselves that after working so hard we will NOT get complacent. This place is my safe place to land and I plan to stay here, logging, forever :)
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    Atjays you're right one doesn't have to have lost a whole person to "get it"
    It's weird because I don't feel guilt over eating some thing or fitting it into my day as much as I just feel like it will somehow be noticeable. I will show up to my workout class thinking I bet they can all look at me and know I ate candy lol!

    Thanks for all of the responses

    Nichole I have 9-14 pounds left to lose. It is very exciting yet scary. I'm like you in the it becomes such a focus it's almost an obsession. I guess I'm just ready to feel normal and be normal.

    That cracked me up about thinking people can notice that you ate candy!!! haha I always think the same thing when I go to zumba and maybe people can tell if I'm even up a few ounces in my weight. :noway:
  • Tzippy7
    Tzippy7 Posts: 344 Member
    i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. Helps keep you on track !
  • wookiemouse
    wookiemouse Posts: 290 Member
    I agree, the feeling is there for a reason!

    The only thing that has worked for me is to completely switch to clean eating. I have zero cravings for any processed food now, and anything I WANT to eat is healthy, so there's no guilt involved. It took about a year to do it, but it has been totally worth it.

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