Little brother

I was just thinking this exact same question about my son. He's 13, 5'4 and 140lbs. He's on the heavier side of things. He doesn't do sports at all. Which is fine except I think he is really missing out by not being part of a scheduled activity. He does ride his bike and walk but I was thinking about having him work out with me 30 minutes a day.

I want him to know that exercise is a part of a happy, healthy life, just because he has chosen not to play sports doesn't mean he can get away with not doing something in it's place. I'm still struggling with the right way to approach it.

As a deeply anti-sports personality, a word of caution...If he rides his bike and walks on a regular basis, he's being fairly active anyway - I wouldn't fret too much about 'scheduled' exercise - both of those things count towards his activity-levels. Exercise doesn't have to mean getting changed into special clothes and going to the gym/joining a team etc, which just is anathema to some people, myself included. I really resented the pressure I got from some adults in that regard, and it made me much more resistant to other forms of activity than I would otherwise have been, for a long time.

Now, if you said you were worried about his socialisation, rather than just exercise and sports, I'd ask if he was involved in any non-sports groups. As for his weight, as I said above, if he's 13 and 5'4", he's going to be a lot taller, and probably a similar weight in a year's time. Many kids gain weight in the run-up to pubertal changes - it's the body's way of preparing itself.

If you do get him to work out with you, don't forget that an adolescent or child's skeleton and muscular structure is not as developed or strong as an adults - cartilege has not yet hardened, for example. It would be wise to carefully consider what you are getting him to do, if weights etc are a big part of your workout.

I was very anti sports and anti exercise at his age myself and I can honestly say I regret that very much now because I had to spend a lot of time playing catch up in the health department during my 20's. I don't want to see him make the same mistakes I did (I know, what parent hasn't said this) I won't force him because I don't want him to see exercise as punishment and I know weight training isn't the best type of exercise for an adolescent his age. I was thinking more of jogging with him. I am not a very good runner myself, was thinking of trying the couch to 5k with the goal of completing a 5k together this summer. Something more along those lines. It's summer now so we'll do bike rides together also.

Don't make it about a 'workout' - are there any sports he's interested in playing and/or local teams he could join? If he's only 13 and 5'2" he's probably about to shoot up in height in the next year or so, so if you're worried about his weight, I would try not to be - he'll probably be so skinny you'll need to feed him up in a few months' time. It's what happens to boys at puberty.

Are you an expert in adolescent health? Has his doctor said he needs to lose weight? Do you control his food intake? If the answer is no to these questions then you need to butt out. Talk to your parents if you're so worried. He exercises just not what you want him to do.

As a 1: year old I got all of what people are suggesting. Failed miserably. All I learned was that I was fat and gross and started a lifelong issue with food. Nothing changed until I made the decision.

I am only butting in because I don't want him to die young because of his weight! I am concerned about him, this isn't about me at all I am just trying to get through to my little brother who has just gained 5 more pounds since he last weighed in and I am really worried. (Also he might be eating more since my parents are going through a divorce and he eats A LOT at each house!)