What to do?

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Ok so I have such a hard time losing weight and I know why. I have this problem and I have no idea how to get over it. When I was growing up i was always told to finish my plate so I always had to eat everything hungry or not. So now that i'm older I don't stop when i'm full or really even know when i'm full. I stop when it's gone. I have no idea how to break that cycle. I have tried making smaller meals which leads me to my other problem.

Fear of being hungry. I'm afraid if i dont eat enough this meal i'll be REALLY hungry later and eat like 1000 calories at once and it happens a lot sadly. I hear you should eat every 4 hours so I try to eat 4-5 200-400 calorie meals. even if i'm not hungry i'll eat because "eating smaller meals more often helps you lose weight"

So question is how to I know when to stop? How do I get over this "I need to eat everything"? If I'm not hungry after 4 hours should I wait until the next time i eat( another 4 hours) ? Anyone know any good appetite suppressants?

I know another big problem i have is I don't exercise enough at all! That is all on me. It's just so boring. I would love to play basketball, tennis, volley ball but those are hard to play alone. I hate running, I can't roller skate because i just fall on my butt and rip up my clothes. I have a bike I want to start using but I need to get it fixed first, money is tight. Probably could save some if I ate less lol

Replies

  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Can I be brutally honest? I don't want to offend you but I think you might need to hear it.

    Okay, I'll be honest with you anyway. And make it less... brutal? Haha.

    Anyway... After reading your entire post it looks like all you are doing is making excuses for yourself and your actions. "Well I was taught to always finish my food" "Im afraid of being hungry and binging". You should eat until you are no longer hungry. That is how you tell you are finished. You dont have to feel "full" or "stuffed". You also dont have to eat "4-5 meals a day". You stating that you are afraid of "being hungry" is ridiculous to me. If youre hungry and you have 300-400 calories for a meal go for it. You need to exercise self control and not eat the thousand calorie binge. People get hungry, they deal with it and make good choices. If you think even for a second that everyone here on MFP wouldn't LIKE to eat a 1000 calorie peice of cake or pie you're wrong!

    We choose that eating said pie/cake/whateveritis is counter productive to our goals.


    "I know another big problem i have is I don't exercise enough at all! That is all on me. It's just so boring. I would love to play basketball, tennis, volley ball but those are hard to play alone. I hate running, I can't roller skate because i just fall on my butt and rip up my clothes. I have a bike I want to start using but I need to get it fixed first, money is tight. Probably could save some if I ate less lol "

    Here is the biggest joke ever. You dont work out because you don't want to. Plain and simple. You could go buy a basketball, do crunches, pushups, squats, lunges, a 5$ workout dvd if you want to. You don't want to do that.

    I think what you need to do instead of looking for an appetite suppressant is some soul searching. Look at your goals. Reevaluate and see if this is something you really want to do. If you want to do it, Only you can decide to dedicate the hard work, effort, and time! You are the only person standing in the way of your success. You can absolutely change your lifestyle and get all of the results you want- but they aren't coming for free.

    You will never suceed unless you have decided 100% that this is what you are going to do and you stick with it.

    Best of luck!
  • sfoxy219
    sfoxy219 Posts: 103
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    Go a head. Maybe it's what I need to hear.
  • Spanaval
    Spanaval Posts: 1,200 Member
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    You don't have to eat if you're not hungry, just because it's "time". Set your calorie goals properly and try to eat within reasonable limits. If you'll eat everything on your plate, put more on your plate. If you're hungry, reach for the healthier option. Drink lots of water. If this is a huge change, make smaller changes. It's easier to sustain small lifestyle changes than massive ones.

    As for exercise. Do you like to swim? Do you enjoy nature? Go for a walk or a hike instead of running (I hate running too, but love to hike). There are lots of exercise videos and such available for free online - Youtube, bodyrock.tv etc.
  • liz_steinborn
    liz_steinborn Posts: 27 Member
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    I'd suggest joining a team in your community if you love to play sports - but be careful because a lot of community teams like to drink beer while they play which ups the calories you take in. But I'd say measure your food. If you feel like you need to fuel your body even when you aren't hungry, reach for fruit and veggies. It gives your stomach something to work on, but won't weigh you down. And watch where your calories are coming from. Ease up on bread and get more cals from lean proteins and whole grains and veggies. And the water helps - if you've missed a mini-meal and you're starving, drink a huge glass of water and nibble on carrot sticks while you prepare dinner. That way, you won't binge-eat on the things we crave when we're really hungry like fat, sugar, and bad carbs. Good luck!
  • saraht131
    saraht131 Posts: 86
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    You're not trying anywhere near hard enough and you're full of excuses. Bull**** excuses. Get up off your *kitten* and go for a walk for an hour. You will lap everyone still on the couch and you will never EVER regret doing a work out. You'll regret not working out though.
    And stop blaming your parents for telling you to eat whats on your plate. You're big enough now to make your own decisions.


    That's hardcore tough love there. BTW, all overweight people are full of bull**** excuses - that's how they got overweight. Especially me. I can bull**** with the best of them. If bull****ting was an Olympic sport I'd bring home all three medals... yadda yadda.

    Stick around on here. Most people are more diplomatic than I am! :-)

    (I'm not mean. Just kinda straightforward)
  • insane5150
    insane5150 Posts: 93 Member
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    Greetings sfoxy219.... i would like to suggest:
    - portion your meal sizes properly
    - drink a cup of water before eating
    - chew each bite 35 times
    This will allow your brain to catch up with your eating to signal that you are full

    Also, for exercise, you can always start out walking. Or go to a local parking garage and climb stairs. There is soo much that can be done that doesn't cost a thing.

    Weight loss is a lot of mind power, and how much you want it. If you have no medical problems holding you back, then there should be no excuses, again how much do you want it?

    Good luck to you!!!!!
  • LHudson53
    LHudson53 Posts: 126
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    I am by no means an expert on dieting and fitness (although I have probably been at my perfect weight a hundred times :smile:

    Here is what I try to do. I quit eating when I am no longer hungry. I don't wait until I'm full. I have only lost 25 lbs and that's only a third of what I need to lose, but it works for me.

    As for exercise, I hate it, too, but it is really, really a necessary evil. Find something you can enjoy...nature walks, treadmill, water aerobics, just something that will get you moving. You might even find that you like it after a while!!!

    Good luck. This is such an excellent forum to get advice and motivation from others; stick with it and you will be so proud of yourself!!!!
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    I did not ask for permission, but if you don't mind brutal honesty - You are looking for excuses....
    MFP gives you a calorie count - work out your meals and input it early in the morning...Then you know how much you will eat - drop the excuses and stick to that....
    Fear of being hungry - another excuse - if you have your day worked out, and you are eating enough calories (stay away from 1200 unless you are 5 years old and 4 feet tall) you will not be hungry. And you will not starve, because your next meal/snack is on its way...
    Do not take appetite suppressants - it's a useless crutch and you will have to stand on your own two feet and own this if you really want it....

    As for exercise - find something you enjoy..If you can't think of something, go for a walk - and enjoy the feeling of being able to move around by your own power, of not being stuck in a wheelchair all day....

    There is absolutely NO reason for any able bodied person to not use their limbs - be thankfull that you can, and start taking accountability for what you eat and do with your body - nobody else can do that for you...

    And doing push-ups, sit ups, lunges and more in front of the tv is free - so money is not an excuse either....
    And guess what? I exercise 5/6 days a week, and I definitely don't sit at work and think how enjoyable it's going to be to go home and lift crazy heavy weights for 40 minutes until I ache and drip with sweat.... Sitting on my butt having a cold beer and a slice of pizza is a lot more fun!!
    As the Nike ad says - just do it! We don't really have to "enjoy" every single moment in life - sometimes the enjoyment is a hell of a lot better AFTER the work....

    Sorry if it sounds harsh - but your only other option is to give in to all the excuses and just stay where you are....

    It is a choice, like most other things in life....If you decide to stick to the excuses, just please don't whine that you are not losing weight to others - just accept it as your choice and live with it...

    I wish you all the best - and it is not impossible, just hard!
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
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    I too have bad habits from childhood that I have reinforced over the years. I still don't know how to listen to my body but it is changing after doing this for a while. Set reasonable goals, no starving yourself. Serve yourself serving sizes (measure everything) and get enough protein (1gm per kg of weight). Have snacks and don't deprive yourself. Stop thinking of this as a diet. Nothing is off limits, just work it in.

    As for exercise, try walking. You will be surprised at how effective it is. Also thrift stores sell bikes dirt cheap.
  • happyhaunt
    happyhaunt Posts: 180 Member
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    I don't know if you've tried it already, Paul McKenna's book 'I Can Make You Thin' has some excellent advice on how to realise that you're full and when to stop eating.
  • megleo818
    megleo818 Posts: 595 Member
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    What rainbowbow said!

    Just tell the voice in your head to shut up, move away from the kitchen, open your front door and take a walk instead of eating. Walking's free, it's good for you and it clears your head. Even if you don't go very far, at least you've done SOMETHING and have left the fridge door closed. Keep in mind that no one is telling you to clean your plate now. And no one ever told you you had to put 1,000 calories on that plate to begin with.

    Every little success (like taking a walk instead of eating that pie), leads to a bigger success. Stop getting in your own way -- you can do it!

    No more excuses! :-)
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    If you can't keep yourself from cleaning your plate, then put less on your plate. Easy peasy. Put the leftovers in the fridge immediately so you can have them for tomorrow's lunch.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Take a smaller plate of food, then when you finish it you didn't over eat.
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    Don't eat five small meals if its contrary to what you like to do. Eat three bigger meals. And the way you make yourself do something is to just do it.