How To Make People Realize

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roberts1027
roberts1027 Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
My husband and I are over weight and we've been a support team for each other. However outside sources haven't been very supportive. All of his family knows that we are trying to lost weight. We have a hard time trying to stick to our calories when we go out to eat and my in laws always want to go out. His dad's bday was a couple of weeks ago so we saved up our calories so we could have a little cake and ice cream. I told my mother in law that I just wanted a small piece of cake and just a little ice cream. I received about a 2in x 2in piece of cake and 2 scoops of ice cream. So I did not eat all of it and threw it away and my mother in law kind of gave me a look. Then 2 days later they asked us to come over and we did and after getting there she asked if we wanted cake and ice cream because she wanted to get rid of it. So I checked my calories and said I would take a small piece of cake and no ice cream. I ended up with almost 2 pieces of cake. I again only ate a little bit and threw the rest of it away and I knew she was upset about it. Now my niece's bday is coming up this weekend and they want to 1 go out to eat at Outback steakhouse and then have cake and ice cream. So I guess my question is how do you make people realize that my husband and I do not eat like we used to. We've told them over and over that we are dieting. We've try to include them in on it saying how much we've lost, asked them to go on walks with us, and ask them to try new things that I have made that have low calories to them. I just don't know what else to do.

Replies

  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    It is difficult, I passed up a lot of social events with food, or ate prior to going and just got something to drink.
    I guess I didn't really have anyone take issue with it or if they did I didn't care/notice.

    Just do what is right for you and ignore anyone that has a problem.
  • Ripcode
    Ripcode Posts: 142 Member
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    You can't make people "get it". They either do or they don't. Sounds like they don't.

    Keep doing what you are doing. You also have the option to say "No" to the cake and ice cream too.
  • littlewitch1973
    littlewitch1973 Posts: 139
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    Simply tell them you are too full to eat any... Thats what I have done for about a year now. I dont eat any sugary foods, and if its a party, and there is cake and ice cream, I simply say "No Thank you!". If anyone questions it (most times, they wont) I just tell them I'm too full to possibly eat another thing. Works every time!
  • The_new_Amy
    The_new_Amy Posts: 29
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    It's hard when family doesn't see how important it is that you are doing something healthy and important for yourself. I would just keep doing the hard work, including possibly upsetting family by sticking to what you are comfortable eating. They will realize when see how healthy you are! If they don't, then that's their issue. Have you explained to your mother in law that this is important to you and your hubby? Do you think she could be feeling like you are trying to 'fix' something that stems from the way she raised her son? If his eating habits started at home and he's always been overweight, she may just be feeling guilty and not know how to deal with it other than to be in denial.

    I feel your pain by the way, my 'best friend', 2 other friends and I went to the movies yesterday. I got a bottle of water, they all got popcorn and soda. She literally waved the popcorn in my face over and over saying "you know you want some". She's 50-60 ish lb heavier than I am and I know she's not thrilled that I've been sticking with my goals and meeting them this time. My hubby thinks it's time for some new friends, lol.
  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    cut your own cake or serve yourself.. it will make it a non issue, and if someone is asking to serve you just say no thanks.. when you say "oh just give me a little" it applies that you are dieting (unless you have always done this) and raises questions to why? how long? what are you eating now? how much weight have you lost? etc.

    i found this to be true when i go out with friends and they order food and i just say im not hungry instead of getting smaller portions of junkier food and still be harrassed about why i eat how i do... if you want to avoid these situations just say no, or do it urself.
  • Michele7091
    Michele7091 Posts: 256 Member
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    Simply tell them you are too full to eat any... Thats what I have done for about a year now. I dont eat any sugary foods, and if its a party, and there is cake and ice cream, I simply say "No Thank you!". If anyone questions it (most times, they wont) I just tell them I'm too full to possibly eat another thing. Works every time!


    ^^^^ THIS!!!
    Sometimes even if I AM still hungry, I say I'm too full to eat dessert. It keeps me from being temped. Or cut your own piece of cake so that you get exactly what you want...a small piece.
  • thisisheatherr
    thisisheatherr Posts: 22 Member
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    Good for you for checking your calories first instead of just automatically bending to the pressure of a tense social situation!

    It sounds like your "a little" may be very different from her "a little", so suggestions like serving yourself or just saying no might be a really good option with your mother in law. But the deeper issue is that it hurts you if she's upset with you for taking care of yourself. If she's that caught up in what you eat or don't eat, and assigns such importance to you doing something that sabotages your health goals, it sounds like she's got deeper issues than a little wasted cake.

    My rule of thumb is that what other people are thinking about me is generally none of my business. I might tell myself I know what someone's thinking because of their facial expression or attitude, but so often I'm just wrong. Unless she says outright that she's disappointed or angry that you're not eating more of her cake and ice cream, let it go - you may be misinterpreting her. And if she DOES say it outright, well then she's just showing her crazy, right? No need to hold onto that either, let it go too.

    Keep taking care of yourself and your hubby. Let the negativity (or perceived negativity) roll off your back. You're getting healthier! You're talking to people who support you! You're doing great!
  • Breezy415
    Breezy415 Posts: 54 Member
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    Sounds like you're doing the right thing, I second the person who said cut your own piece. (if you want cake)....I have simply said "No thank you, that's not worth the calories"....because sometimes it really isn't!!
  • stephanie1133
    stephanie1133 Posts: 211
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    You can't make anyone get it, or respect it. I run into similar things, but I'd much rather catch a dirty look for throwing 3/4 of a peice of cake away, than to argue about it or eat it to avoid the dirty look. It's no one's business what or how much you eat. She's weird for being weird about it, so you are just going to have to ignore it.

    There are ALWAYS going to be people who don't act the way you'd like them to, the only thing you can control is the way you act, and it sounds like you're doing a good job!

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