Tell me about your rock bottom

I'd come out of a 5 year abusive relationship, had a mental breakdown and got an eating disorder. Gained 100lbs in a year. Some how met my finace at the beginning of the weight gain. My fybromyalgia got so bad, (got this whilst with the ex from stress) that I spent all my time out of work in bed. I missed out on so much family time with my 2 step kids.
I was admitted into hospital with 'gall bladder issues' and was told I couldn't be operated on until I lost weight. I embarked on my weight loss journey. I felt extremely ill but exercised really hard and pushed through. Lost over 50lbs and was told I could have my surgery, but also could have it laprascopically instead of big open surgery.
Doctors eventually found I had tumours on my liver caused by contraceptives, my liver wasn't functioning. They removed 3\4 of my liver and my gall bladder 10 weeks ago. I'm now slowly getting back into the swing, carrying on with my weight loss, getting out with the family, enjoying life. Its me bugging them to get out on a walk and do family stuff. The doctors couldn't believe I'd kept exercising whilst ill, I'm a determined little beggar when I want something! I will never stop fighting for my happiness now I'm stronger than that and I want a great quality of life with my little family... Still 80lbs to go. I know I will get there, and if I can, anyone can. Also exercise almost cured my depression! I love it! X

My rock bottom was March 30th of this year. I got on the scale and saw that I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life (and that includes pregnancy). I found MFP that day and am thrilled to be a member of this terrific community!

Taking a family sized pizza, top it with juicy shawarma, and roll it into an enormous "lafa" (gyro for us citizens?).
it was a delicious terrible feeling sin.

Today.
It's not because I've gotten bigger - I've stayed at the same weight for the past few months and although it's not my pre-preg it's still a damn sight less than my delivery date.

No, it's because I realised how low my self confidence is. I went to order a dress, then suddenly realised it was strapless and as I hate my arms so much I couldn't wear it. When my holiday bikini/tankini set came and I looked in the mirror and cried because my boobs aren't that of a 19 year old. And I could go on.

I don't care how big I am, but I do care when I realise I just want to hide underneath baggy clothes because I don't FEEL nice. It's all about self-perception, and no matter what size you are, confidence > number on the scales.

When I realized how much time, effort and concealment went into my outfits in order to make me look like I wasn't as big as I was. When I thought I was a size 8 and had to buy size 11 shorts.

I got up to 179 and decided that there was NO WAY I was going into the 180's! (I'm now down to 146, the lowest since 1989)

Realized that the 'cute' swimsuit I wore all summer was actually a maternity swimsuit. (I threw it out!)

Saw a really bad picture take of me and I looked like a cow. (I keep that pic on my frig to inspire me to be healthy)

I started getting out of breath while hiking. (Now I hike up to 7 miles a day with my dog)

Got indigestion from eating too much/too late. ( I rarely eat before bed and if I do it's something light and healthy)

My blood pressure went up to 190/102! (controlled with meds, sadly didn't go down after losing weight but I'm hoping it will after 30 more lbs)

I was taking a gallon ziploc bag full of prescriptions. (still on bp meds but I use fewer pain pills)

My knees started making this horrible crunching noise when I walked upstairs. (they still make noise but they no longer hurt)

My muffin top grew a muffin top. (I'm down to one now)

I quit socializing because I was embarrassed of how I looked. (Now I try to go to everything I'm invited to!)

My dog got fat. (she has since lost 26lbs while walking with me)

bump to read later

When I was younger I couldn't gain weight to save my life. When I got pregnant with my oldest child at 18, I was 100 lbs soaking wet. I gained 40 lbs while pregnant and lost it all immediately after having him. That was in 2001. Then the numbers on the scale started creeping up slowly. In 2005, when I first met my husband I was 140. I was wearing 4-6's in jeans. I suffered 2 miscarriages in 2007 and got pregnant again in 2008. I gave birth to my middle child and weighed around 165 lbs. The weight didn't really fall off this time like it did with my first. Then 6 months after having my middle, I got pregnant with my youngest. When she was born in 2010 I was tipping the scales at 180. I saw a picture that was taken a month before I was due and I honestly didn't recognize myself. I lost 15 lbs after having her and was back at 165. I fluctuated between 165-160 and size 8-12 jeans over the next two years and finally decided to do something about it in April of 2012.

I don't know that it was really ever 'rock bottom', but my 33 yo husband went in for his annual physical in late March. His blood pressure at that appointment was 139/80 (which is high-normal or prehypertension). The doctor told him he needed to lose 10 lbs, quit smoking and kick his soda habit. I had been toying with the idea of getting healthy/losing weight for a while and this was a good enough "excuse" as any.

I certainly didn't like what I saw in the mirror, but in my head I didn't LOOK like I weighed 165, I wasn't "that big". Pictures, of course, were a different story. I have never been a fan of having my picture taken, but at my heaviest (not pregnant) I avoided them at all costs.

As a stay-at-home-mom I spend my day taking care of everyone else...putting their needs above my own, and it was taking its toll on my body and my self-esteem. I hated how I looked and how clothes fit me. I felt tired, irritable, and run-down all the time but I never actually DID anything to make me feel this way...I sat on my butt, ate like crap and felt like crap. I was tired of being tired...it was time to take care of ME!

Now I've lost 7 lbs over the last 6-ish weeks. The weight-loss is just a perk at this point because eating healthier and exercising makes me feel alive again!

When i was at my doctor's office and she diagnosed me as diabetic and wanted to start me on insulin that day.

I don't do needles...at all, so i begged her to give me a chance to lose weight and get my blood glucose down. Started metformin that day, cut back on my eating, started working out and gave up margaritas for now.

My husband of 25 years died last july from lung cancer after a 3 year battle. It was not an easy marriage because he drank and had a temper. He never hit me but there were some scary times. I was not able to keep my house so i put most of my things in storage and at the age of 56 moved in with my parents. They are in their late eighties and they needed my help anyway.

I've lost 46 pounds from my heaviest and 23 pounds this year. I have a lot more to lose but my glucose levels are normal now and i have avoided insulin.