Big girl needs motivation/help - Newbie alarm! :)

Methinksabout
Methinksabout Posts: 153
edited December 19 in Motivation and Support
Hi Everybody!

Wow, this is an amazing (if confusing) forum - so much information! I really hope I can find some support (and probably a lot of help) here!

Natually I am here because I want to lose weight and get fitter, who doesnt?

Well, at the moment I think that I need to leave the 'get fitter' part out of the equation for a while until I am weightwise in a position to start doing it without hurting myself. Saying that doesnt mean that I will not try and up my "exercise" by walking more (instead of taking the bus) and just keep moving more, but starting things like jogging is a bit daunting at the moment. Even though I am already looking at the C25K - which sounds like a good and fairly gentle start!

And so far I was convinced that to lose weight I have to eat less than I use, which would always mean to cut down fairly drastically. but since joining here and spending pretty much the whole day reading up in the forum I am now v v confused! Yes, I have been reading the newbee links and all, but it really sounds 'too good to be true' :)

Maybe a bit more about myself?
I am 32yr old ; 1,81m; weighing 269lb, working in an office with not doing any exercise - not a very good start, I know, but that's why I am here :)

MFP has calculated that my BMR is 2032cal and as I am trying to lose weight, my (minimum) daily calories are 1790 calories (if I understand that correctly?)

Ideally (and on the looooong long run) I would love to shed roughly 100lb - but I am aware that that will take me years.. So losing slowly is ok for me, as long as it will be healthy way of losing and that I can life it properly - i.e. that I can make this a permanent change rather than a 'quick fix'.

I know that I have trouble with my portion size, even though I am cooking/eating fairly healthy. My main meal is the evenings when I am cooking for myself and my other half and I would like to keep this. We usually have fairly big dinners (rough idea? 140g pasta (dry weight) and 300g potatoes is a 'normal' portion (in addition to a chicken breast with sauce and 1/2 a brokolo head with some philli) for me) When at home I usually dont snack or eat anything after my dinner, but the snacking at work is just breaking my neck.

So now I want to change my eating habits but am a bit lost at where to start and what to do. I know that prob everyone says this, but 1790 sounds too much! AND should I really start the C25K, it would be even more?

I know I can't take the normal recommendation for an average female (being 2000cal/day) for myself, but hey, that is close enough to what I need to eat to lose weight?? Can that really be right?? And would that mean that I 'only' have to cut out all the cakes/chocolates at work and I lose weight? I really find that hard to believe..

I have only started yesterday to keep a food diary (when I was trying to cut down my intake in general) and I was still surprised how much carbs and fat I was eating - I thought I was doing quite well with eating less and better than usual! - True, I was (just) below my 1790 (as I found out today) but still didn't think that it was that much calories! (not that I ever counted them properly)

Yes, I have been dieting on and off my whole life, yes I know yo-yo as much as anyone. And yes, I am currently weighting as much as I ever did. And I can't stand it anymore! But I know I need help doing this, support and ppl who are in the same boat as me - not my skinny other half who is more a 'passive supporter'.

Soo, who else has loads to lose and wants to tackle it with me? :)

Cheers for listening!
Me
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Replies

  • Starsighter78
    Starsighter78 Posts: 62 Member
    Feel free to add me. The more support the merrier! :)
  • journey2onederland
    journey2onederland Posts: 6 Member
    Feel free to add me--- I"m 33 and currently 268 pounds with 68-118 pounds to go----already shed 82 pounds
  • MandaKayMakesIt
    MandaKayMakesIt Posts: 81
    Feel free to add me--I've lost about 45 lbs and have a looong way (150 lbs) to go!
  • abbiepql
    abbiepql Posts: 45
    If done correctly 100 lbs. will not take years to remove. I started at 455 and have lost 213 to date in about 18 months. No surgery, no diet plan, no trainer. I have about 100 to go. Three things to remember - getting healthy is a three prong approach - its a mental, nutrition and activity (exercise) triad. To succeed you have to take all into account. You are still young, so you need to get this taken care of NOW before your forties and hormones start to make it even harder! Understand that this is a way of life for you - for the rest of your life. Know what you want and understand that you will need to make drastic changes in your lifestyle, your environment, your social activities, your relationships, etc. Get straight with your food relationship and if you can't control your portions, buy portioned foods. Know everything you eat, plan ahead and be accountable. Start exercising and MOVE - in whatever way you can - start with 20 minutes everyday but one and build on that. Get your heart rate up and accept that you will be uncomfortable, sweat and breath heavy in order to burn calories - teach your body to use food for what it's meant - disassociate feelings from food as best you can, it's really hard to do! It's hard work and it takes time to relearn what you have done with your eating mind, food and activity up until now. Most importantly know that YOU are the one that will make this work but making the right choices. No one can do it for you - support and motivate, maybe but in the end it's the decisions you make and your dedication to yourself that will give you success.
  • Cyngen
    Cyngen Posts: 557 Member
    Always happy to help and get help in return. Feel free to add me as well.
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    Weigh all your portions, no exceptions.

    Get a fitbit or some other movement tracking device which measures your daily activity levels.

    Drink a lot of water. You'll lose more weight.

    Avoid artificial sweeteners and cook, cook, cook.

    Good luck!
  • ipsamet
    ipsamet Posts: 436 Member
    Hey, I added you! You seem very similar to where I was when I started. Sounds like you have some reasonable goals and are going about it the right way.
  • debstanley4
    debstanley4 Posts: 208 Member
    :smile: feel free to add me.
  • medaglia_06
    medaglia_06 Posts: 282 Member
    Feel free to add me--- I"m 33 and currently 268 pounds with 68-118 pounds to go----already shed 82 pounds

    Good for you! Congrats on your progress so far!
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,446 Member
    I am shooting for about 85 or so, and I am nearly halfway there. I started at the beginning of the year. It may go faster than you think.

    One trick that helps me, is too eat my veggies first. In every meal. I try to either fill my plate with half veggies or eat a salad plate full of veggies before eating my proteins and starches. It usually takes around 10 minutes. The fiber starts making you full. And then if you take 10-20 minutes to eat the "main" you'll be feeling your fullness perhaps before you finish your plate.
  • leelee330
    leelee330 Posts: 8 Member
    GOOD FOR YOU for taking the first steps! We were all there once. Stay within your calories -- stay away from carbs and sugar as much as possible. I always have a dozen hard boiled eggs on hand (protein protein protien!) and there is no way around it - you HAVE to exercise. Do the classes on cable TV (example: Comcast has excercise TV with all levels of classes - 20 min, 30 min) and that way you can get in shape at home then - take it to a gym or - go right to the gym - whatever you feel comfy with. Best of luck!!!!! you deserve to be healthy!
  • medaglia_06
    medaglia_06 Posts: 282 Member
    If done correctly 100 lbs. will not take years to remove. I started at 455 and have lost 213 to date in about 18 months. No surgery, no diet plan, no trainer. I have about 100 to go.

    That's fantastic! Awesome job!!! I love seeing all of these successes on here, helps keep me motivated :happy:
  • carrollel
    carrollel Posts: 57 Member
    feel free to add me as well though i am not much help since i too am learning what works best for me. Go to Success Stories forum and you will find A LOT of inspirational stories/people and ask them to be your friend and learn what worked for them. You will soon find what works best for you. Good luck on your journey :)
  • denisekh88
    denisekh88 Posts: 53
    I am sending you a friend request...I have around 100 more pounds to lose. The support on here really does help...congrats on starting your journey to being healthy :)
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I just reached my goal of 100 lbs lost a few weeks ago it took me 21 mths to do it. When I first started 100 lbs seemed overwhelming and impossible I just concentrated on 10 lbs at a time and for every 10 lbs lost rewarded myself with a new pair of earrings. The most important thing is to plan ahead, stick with the 1790 cals if you find after a few weeks you are not losing you can always adjust it. Make sure you do some form of exercise daily when I first started all I did was swim or walk for about 10 mins, then I kept increasing my time. And make sure you log in daily and track your calories and exercise. I hope this helps
  • ahawks98
    ahawks98 Posts: 19
    Hi, I just read your post and I can identify with you. I don't have that many pounds to lose but I am just as confused as you are about my calorie intake. I thought the point was to take in less than what you burned but apparently not. I feel like giving up but I can't, at 51 I want to lose some weight so I can age "gracefully" rather than looking forward to pain killers and happy pills for my aches and pains caused by in-activity.
    Let's keep it up and try to eat healthier and keep on moving, we can do it!!!
  • cari4jc1
    cari4jc1 Posts: 233
    Feel free to add me as well. I have been on MFP for about a year or so, but only recently really started using it. The main things I would say are to watch out of processed foods. When I very first started changing my eating habits I started educating myself on the ingredients in foods. Basically when I look at the ingredients list, is it a huge list of chemicals and a bunch of words I don't know how to pronounce? If so, then I don't eat it. It needs to be actual ingredients from actual food. Honestly when I started doing that I was too grossed out to eat much of the food that I previously ate. I do still eat some processed foods like ice cream, but it's not very often. I also started adding fruit to my meals as well as a veggie or 2. That's where I started anyways. I hated fruits, but now I enjoy them. Same with veggies.

    Also, as far as exercise goes, I would suggest starting slow. Just going for a walk can do wonders and it's a great place to start if you don't already exercise. Then build from there.

    As far as your calories go, if you answered all the MFP questions honestly then the calories they give you is probably pretty accurate.

    The most important thing to remember in all this is to NEVER QUIT and DON'T give up! You CAN do this! You will probably have days that you mess up and eat something you shouldn't, but don't let that 1 day become a week or a month of bad eating. Let it just be that 1 day and then the next day get back up and get on the wagon again and DON'T beat yourself up about it. We all fall off some days. Good luck!! :)
  • aochoa123
    aochoa123 Posts: 299 Member
    Welcome and feel free to add me. I am 32 also and began my journey at 391 lbs. I've been there so it can be done.
  • Neahpata
    Neahpata Posts: 322 Member
    Feel free to add me. I am 5'4" started MFP at 265 (Highest ever was 274) and lost about 16 pounds recently. I have over a 100 lbs to go also.
  • aochoa123
    aochoa123 Posts: 299 Member
    sorry double post
  • Neahpata
    Neahpata Posts: 322 Member
    Well done on 158 pounds lost.
  • WorkitoutBev
    WorkitoutBev Posts: 29 Member
    Hi, I'm new and need help as well. I have been diagnosed with Diabetes (October) and I have to get this weight off. Feel free to add me as well.
  • Jugie12
    Jugie12 Posts: 282 Member
    Add me anytime! I'm all ab out cheering you on!!
  • jzaz903
    jzaz903 Posts: 306 Member
    Feel free to add me! I'm 21, currently weigh 235lbs, and my daily cals are set to 1750. My first goal is to weigh 200lbs, but i hve several goals after that as well. :) i know it's not what the boards say to do, but I let MFP tell me what to eat and go with it(until it stops working!) I try to eat as close to my goal as possible, eating back exercise calories(some) usually as well. Things can get confusing if you read the boards often- I do what MFP tells me to, while learning portion control and new healthy foods, and I've lost 35 lbs since January.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I wonder if you're confusing BMR and TDEE? TDEE is basically the number of calories you personally need to maintain your current weight. BMR or "Basal Metabolic Rate "is a number of calories your body would burn if you would rest in bed for the whole day, it is the total number of calories that are spent to maintain basic body functions. You typically should be eating ABOVE your BMR...(there are exceptions to this, of course)

    The recommendations on MFP can be a little off...but unless I am totally mistaken, the best way to calculate your daily calories for weight loss is to find your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) and subtract 15% (that's where that calorie deficit comes from).

    Try this site for calculations, someone sent me there and it was helpful:
    http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/

    Hope that helps a little :)

    And yes, you could cut out the unhealthy work snacks and lose weight just by doing that...just think, if you were eating an extra 500 calories per day in those snacks, by cutting them out you'd automatically drop 500 calories from your daily intake...and you could replace them with healthier lower-calorie snacks so you aren't hungry :)
  • Ke1ra78
    Ke1ra78 Posts: 146 Member
    Hi... feel free to add me.

    My daily cals are set by MFP at 1430 as i am very active. I do about 500-800 cals of exercise daily. If i added this to my allowance i could eat around 2000 cals daily. I tend to stick around 1430 on my net cals so my actual intake is around 1700. This means my body is keeping the 1430cals MFP says it needs as the others have been used by my exercise. Hope this makes sense. my diary is open to my friends so if you add me you'll see what i mean. Good Luck. :-)
  • danibabs
    danibabs Posts: 298 Member
    Don't feel you're too big/out of shape to work out!! If anything, the more out of shape you are the more progress you'll see cause your body has farther to go. My sister is about your weight and she runs, lifts weights, swims - she just had to find what she enjoys and stick with it.
    The best way to stay motivated is to make short term goals - so do that NOW. I usually pick an exercise program (like C25K) and do that for about 8 weeks along with setting certain nutritional goals - whether it be getting enough protein, drinking a certain amount of water, or trying new foods. It's so much easier to focus on goals when you can clearly see the end. Then when that time period is up, evaluate your progress and set your next goal to build on that.
    Good luck! And feel free to shoot me a message or whatever - I already friend requested you!
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
    feel free to add me, its true, the more support the better! :smile:
  • Linda_Darlene
    Linda_Darlene Posts: 453 Member
    Keep reading and learning and tracking your food intake. Once I knew what my serving sizes SHOULD be, it helped me a lot. I still snack my fool head off. But I eat fruits and veggies and such.

    One pound of Weight Loss is a 3500 calories deficit. It's doable. Just go slow and be gentle with yourself!
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    The only extra thing I'd add (sorry if this adds to the confusion - it's not meant to!) is that you need to know your BMR and your TDEE - I've found it best to google for one of the many free online ones. Most of the best advice on here (although there's a lot of disagreement and everyone has to do what they believe is best for themselves) is to eat at least your BMR because this is your basic calorie requirement even if you were comatose.

    Eating less than that will tend to slow you down in the longer term and you can much more detail on this site about the thinking behind that. Your TDEE is the number of calories you actually use on an average day - and although you may not exercise as such you're clearly not totally inactive, you have a job during the day, you get there and back, you presumably live somewhere you look after - etc, etc. Eat less than your TDEE - remember to recalculate once in while as the weight goes off as you'll be carrying less around - but eat at least your BMR and you should lose weight steadily and healthily even if sometimes the scale doesn't move for a week or two.

    Best of luck, and I'm looking forward to reading your success story...
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