Why are people so thoughtless?

marbit
marbit Posts: 108
in Motivation and Support
This is a bit of a roundabout story so please bear with me. On thanksgiving day I went to the liqour store with my boyfriend to grab some vodka. The lady at the checkout counter looked at me, patted her stomach and said to me "When are you due". Which would be fine except, IM NOT PREGNANT. It broke my spirit and I swore that day I was never going to get asked that question again. I began watching my diet and going to the gym the very next day. EVERY DAY. So today I had a great NSV. I went to get new workout clothes. When I went to try them on, I grabbed a large (as always) and went to the fitting room. It was too big. So I grabbed a medium. Much to my surprise, also too big. So I grabbed a small, which fit quite nicely, and I thought to myself "Wow, I havent been a small ever in my whole life, this is amazing" and I was feeling great all the way home. Then I get home, and today is Day 3 of week 5 of C25K, the dreaded 20 minute run. I was afraid, but I went to the gym and I ran it, and succeeded. Again, felt great. I thought to myself, what a great day. Then, out of nowhere, when I was done with running for 20 minute this woman next to me on the treadmill looks at me and goes, "Are you Pregnant?"

WHAT?

6 months, 23lbs, 5" on my waist later, and I am still getting asked that??? I am not joking when I say that it kinda broke my spirit. I am losing, I am becoming tighter, I am LIKING what I see in the mirror. WHY is what one woman says enough to completely undo all that.

I dont know why it matters, but it does. And now I wonder, whats the point? If I am going to lose 23 lbs and STILL be asked if I am knocked up? Why bother?

Sorry, Such a downer. I am usually much more optimistic, but that was kind of a sad thing to happen.
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Replies

  • NGMama
    NGMama Posts: 384 Member
    Don't let one silly woman derail your awesome progress!
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
    Tell them you are actually on your way to the abortion clinic. That will make them STFU and feel really stupid.
  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    ROFL Welbert OMG that was so ****ing funny, I literally guffawed. Thank you so much for the uplifting and macabre joke.
  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    Also, i love your pic welbert
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
    I have been advised by my mother from an early age to NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby crowning....

    That being said...HOW RUDE!! You would think everyone would know not to ask that!!
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    Some people are **** filled sandwiches. Sorry :(

    I would NEVER ask a woman when she's due, unless I explicitly knew she was pregnant. Otherwise you're just being rude and presumptuous.
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    I'm sorry this happened, being in a small is awesome. What an accomplishment.

    You should have looked shocked and said "Why is there a baby coming out of my vagina?"

    I'm sorry what is wrong with these people?
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    What a thoughtless, ignorant biotch. I NEVER ask people that unless they are obviously pregnant and they mention it first.
  • breathless575
    breathless575 Posts: 140 Member
    That's when you point to your stomach and say "Where? How would a baby even fit in here *****?"

    Seriously, I think maybe she was jealous and trying on purpose to make you feel bad. Don't let her stupidity derail all your success.
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
    People are thoughtless because they aren't dogs. Dogs are the best people! Seriously, ignore such ignorance. Some people are just plain stupid.
  • CynGoddess
    CynGoddess Posts: 188 Member
    uhg, sorry you had to go through this, You can't fix stupid. some people have no brains at all.
  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    Thanks so much guys. My logical brain is totally with everything everyone is saying. I appreciate it. Obviously my emotional brain is a bit behind. I really appreciate the support. Health is the point, and also, some people are really dumb!!!

    I swear to god, being overwieight my whole life has taught me one thing for sure. UNLESS you see a baby coming out of someones vag, NEVER ask about their pregnancy!! :)
  • Avandel
    Avandel Posts: 283 Member
    Without taking a breathe, I would have said the following, "Oh! you should have seen me 6 months ago, you'd have thought I was having twins! When are you due?" :devil:

    Be proud of what you've accomplished.:happy:
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
    this woman next to me on the treadmill looks at me and goes, "Are you Pregnant?"

    I am sorry that happened to you.
    Do you remember ever looking at a woman and wondering if she was pregnant, but before you opened your mouth to say it, a small filter between your thoughts and your mouth was activated and you chose to remain silent?
    That woman does not have this filter. It happens. Some people think and speak- no filter. They are not children, (which might be a good excuse) but they sort of talk like them.

    I got asked by TSA if I was carrying anything strapped to my stomach. I lowered my pants a bit and raised my shirt and said, "Nope! JUST FAT!"

    I got asked before about being pregnant, too... no- I was nowhere near being pregnant.
    I stopped eating gluten and I lost a size around my torso. I did not lose weight, my body shrunk a whole size. I could wear mediums when before I had to wear large. My husband said my whole body shrunk. I noticed that troubling body pain problems went away...~ well, it's just an idea.

    Alternate idea: That woman has seen your weight loss progress and she is jealous.

    In any case, I am sorry this happened to you. Don't let it get you down.
    8)
  • AmandaCaswell1982
    AmandaCaswell1982 Posts: 170 Member
    You should have looked shocked and said "Why is there a baby coming out of my vagina?"

    This is my favorite response.

    I would hardly think someone fitting into a small would look pregnant.
  • M1chelles5
    M1chelles5 Posts: 107
    That's when you point to your stomach and say "Where? How would a baby even fit in here *****?"

    Seriously, I think maybe she was jealous and trying on purpose to make you feel bad. Don't let her stupidity derail all your success.

    +1
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but I find it hard to believe that the two women, especially a saleswoman, were deliberately trying to make you feel bad. You apparently look pregnant to some people. Keep on doing what your doing and one day you won't.
  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    mfcopine, you're right acrtually. No matter how much weight I lose everywhere else (and I kid you not, I have almost 0 fat on my legs and arms now) my tummy always seems to look like I am with child. Till now I have been focused on just being healthy, but obviously if this bothers me so much, I think I should talk to my trainer, let him know that I would really like to NOT look preggers anymore, and see if he can help. I have always been to embarassed to ask him, but maybe its time I suck it up and let someone help me. :)

    MFP is great, you guys are all so supportive!
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    I will never understand why there are still such ignorant people out there! you NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant! And to ask that at the gym after you were RUNNING?! That's just straight up stupid of that lady. She deserves a good swift kick in the behind!
  • carolemack
    carolemack Posts: 1,276 Member
    [/quote]


    I got asked before about being pregnant, too... no- I was nowhere near being pregnant.
    I stopped eating gluten and I lost a size around my torso. I did not lose weight, my body shrunk a whole size. I could wear mediums when before I had to wear large. My husband said my whole body shrunk. I noticed that troubling body pain problems went away...~ well, it's just an idea.

    [/quote]


    This is something you should really look into if you carry the majority of your weight around your waist. I looked like I was pregnant and I am 64! :laugh: I discovered that I had a wheat intolerance, when I quit eating anything made with wheat I lost about 17 pounds in 3 weeks and it all came off my mid section. Now my stomach is flat.

    Regardless, that women is an ignorant you know what and had no right to bring you down...especially when you have done so well and were having such a great day.

    Enjoy your success and as I always say...don't let the bast**d's get you down!.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    When someone says something like that, look them up and down and smile and say, oh, about the same time as you dear! :)
  • enewsome2
    enewsome2 Posts: 355 Member
    Tell them you are actually on your way to the abortion clinic. That will make them STFU and feel really stupid.

    Lol!

    I have had kids ask me if I was prego before, but never adults.

    People who ask other women if they are pregnant obviously don't think before they speak.

    Just keep working hard. Your NSV of running for 20 mins is great! And fitting into a size small is also a big accomplishment. Try to focus on the positive. :)
  • pantsdailyon
    pantsdailyon Posts: 173 Member
    You should have looked shocked and said "Why is there a baby coming out of my vagina?"

    A comma would work well in there somewhere, no?
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    Yeh that really is terrible being asked if you are pregnant. I don't think it was done with the intent of hurting you but I agree never ask a woman if she is pregnant.
    Keep on going with the fat loss eventually it will start coming off the tummy.
  • Susabelle64
    Susabelle64 Posts: 207 Member
    Without taking a breathe, I would have said the following, "Oh! you should have seen me 6 months ago, you'd have thought I was having twins! When are you due?" :devil:

    Be proud of what you've accomplished.:happy:


    I LOVE this response!!!
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    why on earth do people say stuff like that , i hear about that all the time its nuts
  • Creamshakes
    Creamshakes Posts: 38 Member
    It should be a law to never ask a woman when she is due. Unless she is so pregnant that you think a baby is going to fly out any moment. In fact, as I believe in bodily autonomy and personal space? DON'T TOUCH THE OBVIOUSLY PREGNANT WOMAN EITHER. Women; fat, pregnant, both or otherwise are not public property!

    Rageragerage.
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
    Ugh, some people. I swear a lot of people don't know common sense and do and say rude stuff all the time.

    Personally, I wouldn't take it that hard. It could just be where you hold your weight, not necessarily that you're big. In school I had a teacher who was in great shape, average size, but you'd think she was pregnant just because she held her weight on her lower belly. So who cares what somebody said. Don't stop being proud of what you've done. That's still a big success. :)
  • megsta21
    megsta21 Posts: 506 Member
    I wouldnt let it bother you! You have done great!!! A small indeed!!! I have never been a small either...

    Btw... sometimes ppl ask because pregnant women tend to have a certain happy Glow about them... I think thats why she asked today... ! I would say you have and amazing happy "im a size SMALL!!!!!!" glow instead of "im going to be a mum glow"!!

    Btw... random fact... a pregnant women is said to be the most beautiful form a woman can have .... :drinker: So either way... take it as a compliment... your clothes tell you that your awesome and you have a great happy glow about you!!! So win win!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I have been advised by my mother from an early age to NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby crowning....

    Definitely! People are just rude.
    Also, some shirts make people look pregnant, especially ones that cinch the waist or baby-doll tops. Not sure if your workout clothes are those but I have seen people wear similar stuff in the gym. Or sometimes if I pull my stretchy pants up high it rounds my fat out and makes me look pregnant. Not sure if either of those apply to you but I definitely feel your pain! The other day my roommates and I all pretended to be pregnant...my super skinny roommate even pulled it off!

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