What the h***?

GTOgirl1969
GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
As you all know from my prev. post, I found out my husband is cheating on me:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Well get ready for this....he said, "if you weren't so g**d*** FAT I wouldn't have cheated!! Besides, if you are going to accuse me of it, I may as well DO it!!" I tried to talk to him last night and all I got was cussed out. He called me every filthy name in the book:cry:

He is trying to make it sound like I DROVE him to cheat.
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Replies

  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    As you all know from my prev. post, I found out my husband is cheating on me:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
    Well get ready for this....he said, "if you weren't so g**d*** FAT I wouldn't have cheated!! Besides, if you are going to accuse me of it, I may as well DO it!!" I tried to talk to him last night and all I got was cussed out. He called me every filthy name in the book:cry:

    He is trying to make it sound like I DROVE him to cheat.
  • flcaoh
    flcaoh Posts: 444
    Awww, I'm so sorry you're going through that. That's horrible. Dont' let his nasty words get to you. He's just trying to take the attention off the fact that he actually cheated.
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    well, you obviously dont need that sob! You are making steps to improve your life, what better time to start over than now! Im so sorry this has happened to you, but deep down you should know that you are strong and beautiful and deserve someone who treats you that way, and loves you enough to never cheat on you, regardless of your weight! Try to keep your chin up and understand that even if cheating is a common practice, its not ok, or nice, and that you deserve better!
  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    Your subject line says it all.

    I must have missed your first post, as this is all news to me. I'm sorry you have to go through this. He probably feels so guilty that he is trying to project it onto you. And he's using what he knows is one of your self-esteem weak points (your weight) against you, which is just about the lowest thing I can think of. This can't of behavior really can't be reasoned with--just remember you are 100% in the right!
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
    :mad: That is AWFUL! what a jerk! I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I am sorry your children have to go through this! Kick him out ASAP!
  • chriss1tt
    chriss1tt Posts: 365 Member
    Don't fall for his crap.:angry: Some people cannot take responability for themselves. Everything is always somebody's fault. :noway: They are the ones that end up lonely. You are my inspiration here. I know it hurts but once you have the time to really think it thru you will know it wasn't you at all. I believe you already know that. Hang in there, vent all you want cause that is what we are here for. Just know you are a beautiful, strong woman and we all care and are rooting for you.:flowerforyou:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    I just want to tell the other woman....Honey, if he'll do it WITH you, what makes you so damn special that he won't do it TO you?
  • bjigglepants
    bjigglepants Posts: 93
    what an a**hole. it's pathetic he's trying to pass the blame to you. i can't stand it when people can't put on their big kid pants and take responsibility for their own actions. i know it may not seem this way now, but you're truly better off without him. good luck to you and if you ever need an ear, i'm here *bigmungous hugs*
  • prinzess44
    prinzess44 Posts: 31
    Sorry to hear about this happening to you, but from personal experice they will say anything to make it like it was all your fault. Don't let him make you feel bad about yourself and stay on track. My husband(now Ex) cheated twice( I took him back once it work for 3 years then he did it again know his gone for good) He reason was that I lose weight and didn't spend enough time with him. I'm happier know that his gone and I can Make a better life for my daughter and I. It was hard at first, but I just kept my mind on my daughter and to show her that not ALL Men do this.

    Best of luck to you and keep up the great work you have started.

    Lulu
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    OMG...that is SOOOO lame
    IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IN ANYWAY!!!
    YUCK....he's pathetic!

    Kim
  • ColtsFan1912
    ColtsFan1912 Posts: 146 Member
    what a jerk. Don't listen to his filthy words. grr men like that make me think mrs bobbit had the right idea . i've been there in a lil different way & it sure can hurt
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    I'm still trying to get over the fact that he had the NERVE to tell her to come to your HOUSE!!!
    What a creep!!!! DO NOT let him make you feel like you did some thing wrong. I am of the belief that if you are in a relationship but feel you want to be with someone else, then get out of the first relationship before you act on your other feelings!! Maybe your relationship was not good, maybe you fought a lot, whatever.....that doesn't matter. If he felt like he wanted to be with someone else then he should have been man enough to tell you, end one relationship before starting another. Can you say PIG!!!! or DOG!!! You are a strong woman and you will get through this. Don't let him get you down, you have wonderful children and he will be the one who loses in the end!!! Hold your head high and move on and like everyone has said before, we are all here for you!!!

    Memaw
  • Families_R_Forever
    Families_R_Forever Posts: 630
    Even Carmen Electra herself has been cheated on and she has the perfect a bod, so it was definently not you. I have been through the same thing, only he cheated with my best friend. My husband and I have been through alot since then, including counseling, which is who told me about Carmen. All I can say is that it is possible to forgive, but on the other hand I don't think your husband is even close to being sorry. My husband and I are even stronger and closer now than before he had the affair and I even sent my ex- friend a christmas card last year to let her know I forgave her, but it took me a year to get to that point. From how your husband sounds you should probably leave him. He does not sound too sorry. Please email me if you need to talk. I DO UNDERSTAND!! Heidi
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Awww, I'm so sorry you're going through that. That's horrible. Dont' let his nasty words get to you. He's just trying to take the attention off the fact that he actually cheated.

    Exactly. Keep your head up.
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,788 Member
    If he'll do it once, he'll do it again. Missed the first post, sorry - but unless you want an open marriage, it's time to leave.

    He's already shown you he's manipulative; he's just showing you again. Blaming the victim is common among *kitten*.

    I'm so sorry.
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
    This guy sounds like a f#@$ing loser!!
    It is so typical for a man to blame the woman.:explode: Stay strong girl and don't let him bring you down. I have a girlfriend going through the same thing right now. She's lost over 30lbs and guess who's coming around more! Yup, her ex. :angry:
    Now she's singing MC Hammer's "can't touch this" lol.

    Anyhow, we are hear to listen and we wish you all the strength in the world to get through this.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • nicole0177
    nicole0177 Posts: 377
    what a *kitten* you need to get away from him. hes the type of person that will just drag you down make you feel worse about yourself. let him go be with that skank they probably deserve eachother.
  • ladydi
    ladydi Posts: 88 Member
    Don't fall for his crap.:angry: Some people cannot take responability for themselves. Everything is always somebody's fault. :noway: They are the ones that end up lonely. You are my inspiration here. I know it hurts but once you have the time to really think it thru you will know it wasn't you at all. I believe you already know that. Hang in there, vent all you want cause that is what we are here for. Just know you are a beautiful, strong woman and we all care and are rooting for you.:flowerforyou:
    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Know that you are beautiful and that he has to take responsibility for his own actions. It wouldn’t matter if you had the perfect body a man is going to find an excuse to cheat! what it all boils down to is that they can’t keep their little things in their pants!!! :mad: We are here for you if you need us. Stay Strong:flowerforyou:
  • jcummings69
    jcummings69 Posts: 183
    You need to get out of that situation and show an example for your two little girls. NO ONE deserves to be treated that way. I know that I am not in your situation and it's easier for me to say just leave him, but you have 2 little girls who look up to you and how you let people treat you will affect how they let people treat them their entire life.
  • REB89
    REB89 Posts: 493 Member
    You need to get out of that situation and show an example for your two little girls. NO ONE deserves to be treated that way. I know that I am not in your situation and it's easier for me to say just leave him, but you have 2 little girls who look up to you and how you let people treat you will affect how they let people treat them their entire life.

    I couldn't agree more and honestly you deserve someone SO much better than him!! Don't let him try and place his guilt on you, you've done nothing wrong and have absolutely nothing to be sorry about and don't let him manipulate you into thinking anything else. we are all here for you :flowerforyou:
  • lizburnsyb
    lizburnsyb Posts: 52
    I'm so sorry! Success is the best revenge. You'll look better than ever and it will be too late. :)
  • mickie
    mickie Posts: 183
    I don't know your financial situation, and I know you have kids, but he HAS TO GO! No one deserves to be treated like that, PERIOD! If that's impossible, maybe you can go to counseling for yourself. Looking at your photo, I think you look great! Certainly NOT FAT by any means! Try and keep your chin up!:ohwell:
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
    Don't let him treat you like that. You are way too beautiful, strong, and smart to let him to that to you. Stay strong, reach your goal, and take him for everything he's got in court, looking hot. That's the only thing to do. If he does it to you once, he'll do it to you again. And it is absolutely NOT your fault that he cheated. You aren't responsible for anything he does. Stay strong and get out of that toxic relationship. We're all here for you!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
    If he was unhappy, he should of divorced you and then found another. He is making up excesses to try to make him look better....He was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
    Don't take what he says to heart. Remember...you are the better person and you are a wonderful mom and a beautiful woman. He is just the s**t on the bottom of someones shoe.
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    I just want to tell the other woman....Honey, if he'll do it WITH you, what makes you so damn special that he won't do it TO you?
    way to look at it! this is exactly right! a Leopard very rarely changes his spots..more than likely, if he WILL do it to her too.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    The weight thing is just a way to gain control of your emotions so that you feel guilty and won't leave his sorry *kitten*. Do not fall for that and do not allow him to control your emotions. He's a flucking *kitten*, plain and simple - not a man! Pack your shyt, whack him in the balls as hard as you can, then leave.
  • FatDancer
    FatDancer Posts: 812 Member
    We're all in your corner GTO!

    He's a typical abuser and not worth fighting for...don't say anything to the other woman, she can have him, she'll be doing you a favor...and like everyone else said, it's not on you, it's on him...even Pamela Anderson's men have cheated on her!

    You are deserving of so much more...the future is always brighter than the past...remember what you have learned about his character so you don't make the same mistake in the future.

    If he wasn't abusive to you I would encourage you to stand your ground till you get through to the other side...it is true that a great number of men succumb to temptation...but if you are loyal, you deserve a loyal lover, if that's what you desire...it might take awhile but it will happen in God's time.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    We're all in your corner GTO!

    He's a typical abuser and not worth fighting for...don't say anything to the other woman, she can have him, she'll be doing you a favor...and like everyone else said, it's not on you, it's on him...even Pamela Anderson's men have cheated on her!

    You are deserving of so much more...the future is always brighter than the past...remember what you have learned about his character so you don't make the same mistake in the future.

    If he wasn't abusive to you I would encourage you to stand your ground till you get through to the other side...it is true that a great number of men succumb to temptation...but if you are loyal, you deserve a loyal lover, if that's what you desire...it might take awhile but it will happen in God's time.

    Thanks FD....glad to be here among friends:flowerforyou:
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
    That's funny, that's the exact excuse my ex gave me when I found out he was cheating on me. Why do they always try to blame us for their wrongdoings, like they are going to break us!! Do not let him break you, you deserve much better! I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, I haven't yet read your previous post, but you have my support, I've been through this and I may not have the best advice or all the answers but I'm a great listener!!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    That is just bogus!!! When he married you he gave up the right to have sex with any other woman no matter what! As far as I'm concerned there's NEVER any excuse for cheating. I don't care what the reason is. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE!!!! That just makes me mad that he would blame you for his actions. :mad: He needs to be accountable for his own actions. You didn't point a gun to his head and say "You better cheat on me bub or I'll pull this trigger." And as for his girlfriend, if she's smart she'll dump him because if he'll cheat on his wife he obviously can't be trusted.

    Oh, that just makes me so mad! :mad:

    Oh just one more thing. In Biblical times they would have both been stoned for adultery.
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