Family sabotage.

Katie3784 · May 2012

You should definitely

CUT OFF FROM THEM.

You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

You have nothing until you have your health.

You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

It's only a couple of years!

Bad advice

DiannaMoorer · May 2012

You should definitely

CUT OFF FROM THEM.

You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

You have nothing until you have your health.

You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

It's only a couple of years!

Not good advise dude. Family should be everything and you have to learn to adjust around the difficulties.

I think he may have been trying to be sarcastic... but, family should not be everything to be honest. If they arent good at listening to their daughter's needs, then they arent considering her feelings at all... and that is just as bad as being food pushers.... Her family should learn to listen - but the OP needs to stand up to the plate and make it known as well....

Its a tough thing to do... unfortunately for me, it gets so bad that I dont have anything to do with my family when it comes to having meals with them. They are downright nasty. OP has a chance with hers and Im crossing my fingers her family will have the sense to listen to what she needs from them

I was speaking from my point of view. My family is everything to me. They are awesome! I'm sorry that everyone's can't be as loving and supportive as mine are.

buzzbug · May 2012

Keep logging what you eat, no matter how "bad" it is. When I stopped logging, I thought I could eat anything without paying the metabolic price. Guess what? Your body is still going to log it if you eat it. At least you can let your brain know what is happening, and hopefully it will act as an "emergency brake" if things get out of hand. ("Holy cow, this gumbo has 6,000 calories???? I guess I'll just eat half.")

This is a learning experience, and something you will need to know for the rest of your life. Do the best you can, don't beat yourself up, and carry on! Good luck.

My advice is to just keep logging all your food and exercise - blow off your diet if the mood strikes you BUT keep a record.

This way you can make really informed decisions for next time you visit.

Sometimes keeping a record will really open your eyes to how many calories some things REALLY have, you might just start naturally making better choices.

Good luck and enjoy your holiday!!

This is probably what i needed to hear. When I stop logging, I go hog-wild-crazy LOL. I am going to log for the rest of my trip, but still indulge on my absolute favorites

buzzbug · May 2012

I am a parent of a college student. I admit that I have "pushed" food at my daughter, even when she said she was watching what she eats. I think my reasons were : 1. I love her and want to be sure she eats (since I don't know if she can afford much when she is away at school), 2. I love her and want to spoil her with dining out, and 3. I love her and am happy to see her.

Our family has always celebrated with food (which is why we are where we are). I know all the above reasons sound odd, but I'm trying to get you to see the parent motivation. The other possibility is that if YOU are actively watching your calories, THEY notice what they are NOT doing, and it makes them defensive.

My daughter was blessed with a natural thin body. She has always been a "light" eater so in some part of my brain I think she doesn't need to be careful. The thing is, I used to look like her. After I had children, I got lazy and self-indulgent, which led to me having 85 lbs of extra ME.

My suggestion is to go ahead and dine out with your loved ones. Order exactly what you like. Simply stop eating when you have had enough. Box up the rest but put it in the fridge when you get to your parent's house and forget it. Don't "cheat" yourself. I didn't get obese suddenly. It was one meal, one bite at a time.

Good luck!

Thanks for reminding me of my parent's perspective.

I think that they are often acting out of love when they push food, trying to treat me. And, such good advice...taking things one meal, one bite at a time.

buzzbug · May 2012

First off, your photo is either Barcelona or Buenos Aires, but maybe neither, so please tell us that.
Secondly, WHO DAT say you have to go off your diet. Not WE DAT. Mom and Dad and others will push and you just push back a little and be gracious. Willpower in this town can be an incredibly scarce commodity, but it's out there. Channel Mackie Shilstone for a while. Eat and enjoy and then go for a run or whatever you do. You might lose a few temporary battles but don't stress and don't damage relationships over it. You are mutually dependent on your family for life in one way or another. Calories shouldn't get in the way. Having said that, I "battle" regularly with my family over my own program. Sometimes it gets in the way, but mostly not. Sometimes I give in and enjoy our local cuisine, but within my new boundaries. Set your limits, set your plan and stick to it. It can include a day or even a week off here and there. You are young, you can do amazing things to lose weight, inches, or whatever your goals may be, quickly. Good luck to you.

My photo was taken in Buenos Aires when I was studying abroad there last summer.

Also, WHO DAT!!! :glasses:

buzzbug · May 2012

Thanks everyone for all the advice and motivation! This has been so infinitely helpful for me, all of the different perspectives and ideas!

weighlossforbaby · May 2012

Maybe portion what you eat with your family and log in whatever you eat no matter what

I know how you feel cause my sister had gastric bypass 6 years ago and she eats whatever she wants and wants me to do the same but I can't so I portion what I eat and decide what is good and bad for me.

leighjam · May 2012

My advice is to just keep logging all your food and exercise - blow off your diet if the mood strikes you BUT keep a record.

This way you can make really informed decisions for next time you visit.

Sometimes keeping a record will really open your eyes to how many calories some things REALLY have, you might just start naturally making better choices.

Good luck and enjoy your holiday!!

I've got a similar problem as the OP. I have an Armenian family in which the kitchen IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ROOM IN THE HOUSE. Hospitality is mandatory, which means that they offer you food until you say yes and eat it. My mother always goes "You've got to loose weight" then offers me more food.

In addition my in-laws always buy me treats.

The thing is that while I feel guilty about not eating the delicious foods they offer to me, I need to change more than my eating but my lifestyle.

I am learning to politely say NO. No to the extra helping, no to the treat, no to the late night burger run. Not necessarily rude but a firm NO.

Be conscious of what you eat! Not necessarily stop eating EVERYTHING that's good and fatty and sugary, but understand what you're eating and balance it out. Knowing whats in your food and recording it are two things that help SIGNIFICANTLY with this.

Tell people why you're doing this and what you're working towards.

BE POSITIVE and remember yourself why you are doing this!

leighjam · May 2012

Oh and try and get a service dog (so you can take it everywhere) and when you're out feed a them half of your plate. </joke>:laugh:

Josyurtos23 · May 2012

If you go out to eat, order a salad with dressing on the side with your entree, eat the salad first, then take what ever your eating and eat until satisfaction. Take the rest home with you.

Trust me i know how hairy family gets when you tell them that your not eating high calorie, high fat, high carb food. sometime if you (it may not be the right thing to say but they may lay off and possibly cater to your needs) tell them that you feel bloated...and that you need your veggies and light food just to make that feeling go away. Im not suggesting you tell them this the minute you walk in the door but maybe after a few meals.

^that might not be the best advice, but take it from me, a heavy girl who has constant food around all the time, and I feel your frustration every day. Sadly people who aren't in our shoes sometimes are not willing to understand that we cannot have triple size servings, or greasy food at every meal and eat until we are stuffed to the gills. Why, because it isn't good for anyone. They look at healthy lifestyle as something they cant adapt to or sometimes they don't want to because its too hard or just because its much more expensive. Trust me, i agree, it is very hard. They also do not recognize that obesity is life threatening just like diabetes, hbp and cholesterol.

But at the same time, enjoy your time with them and try your best. If you don't, don't be so hard on yourself. In the end, its your family and that is more important.

Family sabotage.

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