weight loss didn't change everything :(

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Pascua_j
Pascua_j Posts: 67 Member
in Success Stories
I need to update my profile but long story short~ I was always fat. I weighed 130 something pounds by 3rd grade and it got worse quickly. I am 5ft 6, the heaviest I ever was brave enough to get on a scale at was 211. I am pretty sure that is close to my heaviest weight ever. In the last year I have really gotten hooked on exercise and healthier eating~ MFP is a miracle app. I am down to the lowest weight ever-126!!! And I am happy about the loss, I really am! But when I look in the mirror, I still sometimes see the fat girl. I still usually FEEL like the fat girl. And nothing else in life was solved. My head rationally knows that losing weight can't change everything, but I spent my whole life thinking, if only I lost weight___________ would happen. And it didn't.
Anybody else deal with this kind of thinking? I am getting on my own nerves lately. I keep telling myself, "Enough already! BE happy with what you have accomplished!" But I'm not listening...
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Replies

  • Happybunny37
    Happybunny37 Posts: 213 Member
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    You look amazing!!!!! Let your brain catch up with your skinny you!!!!!:drinker:
  • katemme
    katemme Posts: 191
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    Could be just body image issues.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    I'm terrified that I might have this problem.. I've always been the fat kid too =(
    Is there a way for you to talk to a therapist? Keep your head up! =)

    Do you have before and after pic's? After being heavy your whole life it is going to be hard to accept the new you.. just go look in the mirror at yourself! =)
  • Antjebeth08
    Antjebeth08 Posts: 42 Member
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    I'm in the exact same boat. That is why I fear my goal and am afraid that I still won't be happy with my life despite being "healthy". :frown:
  • Racheltheresa2
    Racheltheresa2 Posts: 1
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    I am 5'10" and at my top weigh weighed in at 340lbs. I now weigh in around 180. I too struggle with my self image. I find my self image is tied to how happy and fulfilled many other parts of my life are not just my weight and figure. I know exercise helps make me feel happier with myself. I also need other things outside of my body that make me happy. I have returned to school and it had made me feel more confident. Try doing something meaningful to you that does not involve weight, food, or exercise. Chin up we all have ups and downs.
    Theresa
  • Cheval13
    Cheval13 Posts: 392 Member
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    Hey girl, you are definitely not fat. You are lean even, and you look like a runner. I can't speak from experience since the most I've ever weighed was 133, but I have people telling me at 128 that I am skinny and don't need to lose any weight... (I'm also 5'6'') . I think though, from what I've heard, that it is hard to tell yourself you are beautiful just from looking in the mirror. If your clothing size (2-4/ small), am I right?) is not enough of an indicator, take your measurements, or check out you body in pictures.
    But all that is just about your body. You need to remember that it doesn't matter who you are on the outside... aside from health and energy, it never did. If you are a good person, if you do little things each day to make those around you feel special, then then you've just got a fat heart. I tried to be supportive.. hope it came across that way. COngrats on your loss. You look amazing!
  • shaunacaddell
    shaunacaddell Posts: 24
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    I feel the same way. I thought once i hit 150 i would be happy, but now that im 155 i think, well ill b happy at 140. I still think i dont look good enough and want to continue to lose. Will i ever b happy ?
  • ebaymommy
    ebaymommy Posts: 1,067 Member
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    Not sure what your time frame has been for losing the weight but it can take your mind a long time to catch up to your body. I lost about 50lbs total over the course of several years. I've been within a 5lb range of my goal weight for the past 18 months now and I'm FINALLY starting to get to the point where I feel on the inside the way I look on the outside....like a skinny girl. :)

    For a long time I still felt fat or thought every time I looked in a mirror that the old, heavier me would be what I saw. Don't stress over it, it's really normal and you lost a ton of weight (congratulations on that!) so it will take you some time to adjust. I figured I spent 30ish years being overweight, I've got to give it some time to adjust to not being overweight.

    And you cannot expect that weight loss will solve other problems in life. You can only expect that with time will come self-confidence and that can positively affect other aspects of your life.
  • darrcn5
    darrcn5 Posts: 495 Member
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    I read an article that says it can take a while for our brain to process the image of the new us. Like when we gain weight, it takes a while before we "see" ourselves as looking bigger; the same with losing weight. It takes a bit for our brain to catch up and see the new you. You look fantastic. Buy yourself some clothes that you love to highlight that new figure!
  • danielle63026
    danielle63026 Posts: 23
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    I'm in the exact same boat. That is why I fear my goal and am afraid that I still won't be happy with my life despite being "healthy". :frown:

    This is exactly how I feel, too. I'm afraid that being thin won't be everything that I expect it to be. I've always thought that being thin would fix everything in my life, I know now that that's not the case.
  • callmecaptain
    callmecaptain Posts: 61
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    It might just take a little bit to soak in, give your self some time, buy something you have always dreamed of wearing or do something you have always wanted to do that the weight kept you from doing. I had a kidney removed and the doc told me it would take a while to heal and that I would have ghost pains or something like that, it has been four years and I still feel it an ache now and then then I tell myself it's not there and the pain goes away, The scars the surgery left are always there but the pain is gone and I am healthy again.
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
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    I need to update my profile but long story short~ I was always fat. I weighed 130 something pounds by 3rd grade and it got worse quickly. I am 5ft 6, the heaviest I ever was brave enough to get on a scale at was 211. I am pretty sure that is close to my heaviest weight ever. In the last year I have really gotten hooked on exercise and healthier eating~ MFP is a miracle app. I am down to the lowest weight ever-126!!! And I am happy about the loss, I really am! But when I look in the mirror, I still sometimes see the fat girl. I still usually FEEL like the fat girl. And nothing else in life was solved. My head rationally knows that losing weight can't change everything, but I spent my whole life thinking, if only I lost weight___________ would happen. And it didn't.
    Anybody else deal with this kind of thinking? I am getting on my own nerves lately. I keep telling myself, "Enough already! BE happy with what you have accomplished!" But I'm not listening...

    No, losing the weight won't make _______________ happen. But what it shows is that you are strong and capable, that you are able to name a goal, make a plan, follow through and succeed. That is no small thing! Now what are all these "things" you wish would change or happen? Apply that same resilience and strength to those things and before you know it......
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
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    Two things need to happen, You need to give yourself time to catch up to what you really look like. It took me about 6 months to realize I had actually lost 70+pounds (I was in maintenance for awhile). Its okay that it takes time.

    The second thing is that you need to work on the issues that make you feel less than wonderful, and while your body size/shape might SEEM like the problem its not really, that's deep inside you and you have to be okay with who you are on the inside no matter what the scale says. The scale does not define you (or me!).
  • callmecaptain
    callmecaptain Posts: 61
    Options
    I need to update my profile but long story short~ I was always fat. I weighed 130 something pounds by 3rd grade and it got worse quickly. I am 5ft 6, the heaviest I ever was brave enough to get on a scale at was 211. I am pretty sure that is close to my heaviest weight ever. In the last year I have really gotten hooked on exercise and healthier eating~ MFP is a miracle app. I am down to the lowest weight ever-126!!! And I am happy about the loss, I really am! But when I look in the mirror, I still sometimes see the fat girl. I still usually FEEL like the fat girl. And nothing else in life was solved. My head rationally knows that losing weight can't change everything, but I spent my whole life thinking, if only I lost weight___________ would happen. And it didn't.
    Anybody else deal with this kind of thinking? I am getting on my own nerves lately. I keep telling myself, "Enough already! BE happy with what you have accomplished!" But I'm not listening...

    No, losing the weight won't make _______________ happen. But what it shows is that you are strong and capable, that you are able to name a goal, make a plan, follow through and succeed. That is no small thing! Now what are all these "things" you wish would change or happen? Apply that same resilience and strength to those things and before you know it......

    Well said!!!!
  • nightsrainfall
    nightsrainfall Posts: 244 Member
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    I will degrade myself and blame it on weight - but it's not the weight. Hopefully our view points of ourselves will change as we go out and do new things, and learn more about ourselves. No one can change our opinions but us - we have to realize or decide that we are good enough.

    But yeah, I'm in the same boat - minus the weight loss part.
  • Bethag80
    Bethag80 Posts: 2 Member
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    I thought this was just me. Honestly, I have always been overweight, even as a child. I weigh myself, and I see its lower, and I think "hmm the scale must not be working today". The other day I almost lost my pants, I chopped it up to something being wrong with my pants. My husband says its cause I will never be happy with myself, I tell him he's never been obese and would never understand. Its still a struggle and I love the results so far, but I am so worried I will always see the little fat girl in the mirror.
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
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    Two things need to happen, You need to give yourself time to catch up to what you really look like. It took me about 6 months to realize I had actually lost 70+pounds (I was in maintenance for awhile). Its okay that it takes time.

    The second thing is that you need to work on the issues that make you feel less than wonderful, and while your body size/shape might SEEM like the problem its not really, that's deep inside you and you have to be okay with who you are on the inside no matter what the scale says. The scale does not define you (or me!).

    I agree with this. There was a reason you were overweight. There was/is a reason that you don't give yourself the credit you are due for all the hard work you put in. There is a reason that you don't feel like you are worthy. No one deserves to feel that way, especially when the mirror is telling you that you DID do the work. You derserve to feel proud and happy. I think if I were you, I would schedule some sessions with a therapist to find out why you don't. It's not a weakness to do so...it is just another show of the strength that you've already proven that you have. (((Hugs)))
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    I feel the same way. I started at 232 pounds...and today I'm 135. I did see the fat girl, but now after 2 years....I'm see myself thin. When I look in the mirror I still can only see negative things. were I still have lumps or fat....or wrinkles. I wondered if it was just me. I'm only 3 pounds to hitting my goal weight ( I have now decided that I want to be thinner....to lose another 12-15 pounds.) I still can't see the postive.....I hope it changes with time.
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    There is a difference between your body image and your body. I equate it to a dog race.

    Here we are, the greyhounds, at the start of the weight loss 'race'. Ahead of us is the 'BODY IMAGE' that we tell ourselves our goal should be. The pistol goes off and we all start sprinting down the track. Some of us slip and never feel can ever get back up again. Others are determined and go for it no matter what comes their way. Each step you feel you're getting closer to your BODY IMAGE, making progress and getting faster and more determined. When you cross the finish line, that BODY IMAGE disappears back into the track and you still don't feel accomplished. You wanted to get that BODY IMAGE, that one aspect that you've been aspiring for.

    What we never realise is that BODY IMAGE is a fantasy. Your BODY is all that matters. Throughout it all, your BODY has healed, has become stronger, healthier, fitter and MORE beautiful. But this is the point - BODY IMAGE can be susceptible to how our mood takes us and heavily influences whether we are feel positively or negatively towards our bodies. But that IMAGE is just a reflection of our BODY - which is always perfect, always beautiful and never 'disgusting'.

    True beauty comes from within, anyway. When we get older, do our bodies deteriorate over time? YES. Does that make our physical beauty fade? YES. Does that make us any LESS BEAUTIFUL? HELL NO! Physical beauty is fleeting but beauty of the soul is truly the shining star.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I have no advice but I am 5'6" and weight 210 and if I can accomplish what you have, I know that not ALL my problems will be solved but one that I have struggled with since I was a kid will be.

    I remember when I was in my mid 20's and weighed 120 pounds and STILL thought I was fat. A sadder but wiser girl am I.

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