weight loss didn't change everything :(

Pascua_j · May 2012

Thank you for the nice words. And it is REALLY nice to at least know others have the same feelings about it in their journey. I heard a quote once was something like "the longest journey is from the head to the heart" which is really true here. I would tell anyone else who felt this way all of the things you guys said...except when it's you, it is harder to do.
IDk, it is all part of the journey.
Again, thank you for the responses.

Rocking_Robin · May 2012

Bump

ajelove · May 2012

Yep! Had that problem when I first lost weight...and it took me about 8 years to find something else to make me happy. You just have to pick up some non weight related hobbies, or start moving toward another life goal. For me it was finding Christ, leaving a destructive relationship, and starting a family. I realized that I love to cook and to volunteer my time and money.

blairh10 · May 2012

Thin ISN'T everything !!! When I looked in the mirror as a 5' - 95 lbs. girl, all I saw was someone who wished they were better- in better shape-happier- taller- had different features- etc... . I'm 140lbs. now and while I don't like the chubbiness of the girl looking back at me I see someone who has accomplished so much and overcame obstacles she didn't think she ever could. When I lose this weight I'm hoping I look how I feel on the inside and I won't ever take my health for granted again.
Gratitude for even the smallest of things was the key for me to change my outlook. When you look in the mirror don't allow yourself to say "I wish...." say outloud, "I'm glad that___(my arms are toned, my booty's poppin', whatever you are grateful for). Congrats on doing so well on your journey.

amfmmama · May 2012

Last year, I went to buy jeans, I started with the 14s, too big, got some 12s, TOO BIG, when I went to get the 10's I was sneaking around like mission impossible music was playing. I swear the ladies must have thought I was shoplifting! I did not think I could possibly wear them and I did not want anyone to even see my try! I get it. As much as you want the loss, it is hard to accept. Who saw that coming!?!

BTW, the tens fit fine!

delikium · May 2012

that's exactly what i am afraid of. i've been blaming my weight for so many things...and i know it was just an excuse.
but i still need to lose the weight in order to delete that excuse and confront myself.
have you tried something to change your image? shave your head or something!

heidi5k · May 2012

I think I've learned an insight that might be helpful...

Getting healthy is a GOOD thing. It's just not the ULTIMATE thing. Lots of us spend lots of time pursuing GOOD things, only to find when we get there that we are still unfulfilled, unhappy, uncertain, etc.

We pursue these good things with all our heart, and without question (health, being a the right kind of parent, succeeding in school or at work, getting a great guy, etc.) because, well, they're good things to go for, right?

Yeah - they are. And all of those things will contribute to our happiness and confidence and security and sense of meaning.

They are terribly disappointing, however, when they function as our ULTIMATE thing. Each of those good goals is essentially unstable, unpredictable, out of our control and fleeting. (I could be in an accident and never be able to exercise again; there's never "enough" success at work, and frequently my hard work isn't recognized; I could be an awesome parent, and my kids could stil choose to rebel, etc..)

When I've chosen to give everything to get or to be one of those good things, my failures are almost unbearable, and the disappointment that you describe in your post (that many of us have felt) is heartbreaking.

On the other hand, having the ULTIMATE thing in the ultimate place allows us to be happy with all of these GOOD things, b/c we're not relying on them for fulfillment, security, significance, etc. They're just good things that add to our well being and the well being of others.

Does this make sense? Feel free to PM me, or add as a friend, too if you want to talk about this a bit more. I have some thoughts on what that "ultimate" thing should be...

mellonitis · May 2012

I've always been the skinny girl every one said they wanted to be. Even at my current weight I hear the same. I have alot of work to do I have never felt like people said they see me. After kids my low self esteem has only gotten lower. I have stretch marks from my belly button to my knees. I have a pouch from c sections. My chest was tore up from nursing 2 boys a year Each . I'm never gonna b happy with myself fully. I've lost some weight that is true but it feels like nothing most days. The days I make time for myself. Work out shower dress up do my make up I feel great. i am hidden But never satisfied. I think it's just the mental image of your self u have burnt in your head. I'm not one to give advice but I think we need to let it go to the best of our abilities. In put some faith in other people's kind words. We may never love what we see on the outside but we need to accept that they are telling the truth and they can't all be stretching the truth. I think your doing great! And don't let you're self get you down. Allow yourself to enjoy your victory even If it's not your idea of perfect. were all brain washed in this world as to what beauty is. And No two views are the same. as long as your healthy and you allow your self to look past what you see as flaws things will get better. Maybe buy yourself something that will make u feel beautiful and when your feeling down put it on and be proud!

shimewazaMan · May 2012

I totally understand what you are saying. I started having pretty severe weight issues at an early age and have had massive issues with body image my whole life as a result. Not that this is a great way of dealing with it, but the one thing that has helped me a bit is martial arts. I have been doing various forms of martial arts for about 25 years. I know it's probably socially unacceptable, but having an "I may be ugly but and can kick your nice looking @ss" mentality has helped my self-esteem quite a bit! LOL

kris4chloe · May 2012

I totally get it. I still don't recognize myself in a mirror and I know my eyes tend to go straight to my trouble spots. When someone comments on my weight loss and how good I look or even call me skinny, I just laugh and dismiss it. I weight right now what alot of people are before they start so it is hard for me to think that. I have 20 more pounds to my first goal weight but now I am starting to think it needs to be another ten pounds and that is my response to everyone.

I was thin growing up and my heavy weight was my goal weight now, so that is messing with my head.

It is hard, I think we just need to let our brains catch up, because I know it took a few years for me to stop thinking I was thin even though I was very much overweight.

When I need motivation, I like to go clothes shopping, and when I see smaller sizes fitting me better, it helps my brain wrap around the fact that I am thinner.

myfitnessnmhoy · May 2012

If, like me, you're the type of person who will always find something wrong with yourself, the weight will merely become one less thing to find wrong.

I'm using my weight loss as a catalyst to do some things that have been on my bucket list for years, but I've never felt able to accomplish them. This spring, I hiked up to a cabin ten miles from the nearest road and climbed a mountain in deep snow. In a month, I'm doing a 180-mile 3-day charity bike ride. This summer, I'm going to start training seriously to hike the 100 Mile Wilderness section of the Appalachian Trail - I currently work with a crew twice a year that maintains 18 miles of it, and I'm hoping to hike all of it next year if I can work it into my schedule.

But I think I'll always be the fat kid that got beat up for being fat. It'll probably be part of my body image forever, but it's also part of my inspiration to finally do better after all these wasted years.

Running away from that fat kid burns calories. It's working for me for now. We'll see what happens when I reach my goal weight, but I don't think I'll ever see myself as skinny or even healthy. But I will be able to do all the things that skinny and healthy people do.

TheTallMan · May 2012

We are our harshest critics. It may take a while for you to accept that you look good (and trust me, you do look great). What's important is to not let it get to your head too much, just stay healthy, continue to eat right and keep on exercising, eventually you'll see yourself in the same light as others see you.

jsapninz · May 2012

It does take awhile for your brain to "catch up" with you....however, it sounds like you may have deeper issues. Perhaps you should see a psychologist to work through these. :flowerforyou:

Either way, good job and stay strong!

jessicawrites · May 2012

Would it help to have some form of event to mark your success? Maybe taking on a physical challenge that you couldn't do/were scared to do before? Running a 5K or 10K, climbing a mountain, signing up for surfing lessons...there might be something that represents "progress" or "freedom" or "strength" or whatever resonated with you as you pushed yourself to lose the weight in the first place. Then it might be easier to start envisioning a new identity based on this proof of what you can now do.

ccpowers · May 2012

It is self image. I have a bit of the opposite problem which doesn't help with my loss. I think I look pretty great most times. Then however when I see pictures I realize that what I see and what others see may not be the same. But I am working on accepting that I need to work much harder.

jnmuniz5 · May 2012

I feel exactly the same way. I have always struggled with weight, and after having children, the number on the scale continued to rise. So here I am, a year into my lifestyle change, 60 lbs less, but I still look in the mirror and see "fat me" Enough about me... my goal was to tell you... yes others feel the same way...
You should be so proud of what you have accomplished, and instead of trying to fill in the blanks with some magical word that you have been waiting to fill in, fill it in with the small stuff... I have lost a "butt load" of weight, I have changed the way I see food... I feel great now that I am more active... dont sell yourself short, you have accomplished something that many people wish they could. I live in Edinburg, Texas... we ranked #1 in individuals with a BMI over 30... and let me tell you, some of these people, even with tools as cool as MFP, they would not have the drive or will power to make that change. So congratulate yourself... you have already won!
P.S. you look fantastic!!!

LoneyBfit · May 2012

Yes I think we all feel that way at times. But the 1 thing that is motivating me is the way that I feel when I get finished exercising I have more energy and I am actually nicer....it takes away the stress. That is the enemy (Devil) trying to steal your joy. But when you start to feel like that just start being grateful for all that you have accomplished with setting a goal and reaching it. I pray that I can even do half of what you have achieved. Keep up the Good Work!!!

weight loss didn't change everything :(

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