5'3", obese - transitioning from low-carb to low cal

Hey everyone!
I'm new to the message boards but I have already been using the the calorie tracker for almost 3 weeks now.
I was never a skinny kid. I lived most of my life with a jiggle in my thighs. In college, I lost weight because I got braces belatedly and I just didn't bother with a lot of food because it was such a hassle to eat when not at home. When my braces came off, developed an emotional relationship with food and once in a while I would purge. I also have a bad habit of frequently going to the grocery even though I don't have anything in mind to buy but return home with 1-2 bags of junk food. I love all the "wrong" foods. I work at home so I am sedentary. I am flat-footed so I detest running (it kills my feet, legs, and back). 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS, hygroma, and mild fatty liver. This year, my lipid report didn't come out clean.

I'm averaging at a meager 500 kcals/day and I was enrolled by a family member in a Ketogenic Diet program.

Before saying anything, please continue reading.

You see I'm not healthy eater. Oh the bad food choices I made. I don't like a lot fruits and vegetables. The program was very restrictive and and because I needed to lose 90 pounds, it would take me about 9 months to stick to that kind of diet. Most of the foods allowed were among the think I hated. Imagine the allowed foods all listed in 3 pages of bond paper and it's in font 16! It gave a shock to my system because it didn't give me time to ease into that new lifestyle. I calculated the calories I might be able to get if I do eat what they allow and it would be a smidgen higher than 1,200 kcals. I didn't eat a lot of the things they served either because I hated them or was cooked very poorly and lazily. And so I starved myself half the time. I'd sneak in a little of the forbidden stuff from time to time but even counting that, I still can't go past 800. I was also too afraid of eating more because the program costs so much and I didn't wanna quit because I had something to prove to my father (we have a dysfunctional relationship). I also rested on the heavy on the fact that they were giving me something for my metabolism. Sure enough, I lost 23 lbs, I've learned to eat more vegetables, and the way I look at food has changed but I was cranky, weak, and forgetful (so much so that I sometimes forget my next sentence). Oh, and don't forget the acid reflux I developed. My family also saw how miserable I was.

I joined myfitnesspal hoping it would aid to even a bigger weight loss. It gave me a wake up call instead. Lots of research (reading stuff from here and other health websites) later, I have learned I was sabotaging my metabolism and a big chunk of the weight I lost was water. My family also saw how miserable I was. I can't keep on doing it especially since school starts again soon.

Next week I am gonna start my transition from Low-Carb to Low-Cal. Even though I planned it to be a slow process, I still feel very apprehensive because I know I will gain back a lot of weight (both from glycogen being replenished and my metabolism adjusting). It's a bit discouraging because my effort will be put to waste and it just makes me think of sticking to the program. It also doesn't help that I live in an asian country and people here can be blunt and a bit mean when it comes to size.

But I am glad that MFP is here and I can find a lot inspiration and information from all of you.


Sorry for my long essay. I just wanted to let it all out.