Can you argue with me or relate?
Eyesee
Posts: 111 Member
I recently began my weight-loss journey (last week) at the heaviest weight I have ever been. I was thin and athletic most of my life, but I still always found fault with my body (don't know what you got til it's gone, huh?).
I've had a lot of free time and have been motivated to work out for long hours and eat well, but today when I got home from the gym happy and exhausted, I looked in the mirror when I was about to take a shower and just said "ugggggh!"
I feel really depressed and unmotivated now because I'm looking at all of the damage I've done to my body by putting this weight on, and I can't imagine how losing it will make me look better. I need to lose about 100 pounds, but I feel like I'm just going to look disgusting anyway now that I've made myself lumpy and misshapen with fat.
Can anybody talk me out of this? Or relate to how I feel right now? How do you guys cope when you are completely disappointed with what you see in the mirror?
I've had a lot of free time and have been motivated to work out for long hours and eat well, but today when I got home from the gym happy and exhausted, I looked in the mirror when I was about to take a shower and just said "ugggggh!"
I feel really depressed and unmotivated now because I'm looking at all of the damage I've done to my body by putting this weight on, and I can't imagine how losing it will make me look better. I need to lose about 100 pounds, but I feel like I'm just going to look disgusting anyway now that I've made myself lumpy and misshapen with fat.
Can anybody talk me out of this? Or relate to how I feel right now? How do you guys cope when you are completely disappointed with what you see in the mirror?
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Replies
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I can relate, but every pound I lose is still good for my body. Every bit you lose is better easier on your body. Try setting smaller goals so that it may not be such a hard thing mentally.0
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I've never gotten too out of control, but at one point I went ffrom an athletic 150 to 200. I worked it off and am now at 164. Some days, I still dont like what the mirror shows, but I FEEL so much better every day. Once you start shedding the extra weight, you'll be in a better mood, and one day you'll see the old you smiling back. Don't give up, we are all here cheering you on.0
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Take that feeling and turn it into motivation. Seriously, I had the exact same feeling as you. But I turned it into determination. I pushed myself to do the 30Day Shred, and after that, I found my diet a lot easier. Sure, I worked out at the gym and stuff but it was the 30DS that made me see exactly what I was capable of. And it made me feel great.
But the 30DS is extreme, so maybe you could do something else? Yogalates are good!0 -
I can relate, I mean I have done excellent on my diet, lost over 20 Lbs. in 2 months, I have been doing a lot of walking but every time I walk by a window I can see myself and can't help but think UGH I look fat, but I then try to remind myself, of what I have lost already and that I can lose the rest. I have to lose a grand total of 120 Lbs. But I set 10 Lbs. goals first and each time I hit that I feel wonderful, Hopes this helps.0
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Sure 100 is a lot to lose, but once you start losing it does get easier and once you lose 10 lbs, you don't have as much to lose as before. Then before you know it you'll be posting NSV's, etc. You gotta look at the smaller, attainable goals bc right now you are just looking at the big time ones.0
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I have to agree with the smaller goals thing ... the big picture can be a tad daunting to put it lightly. Break it down and focus on them one at a time.
use your anger to your advantage and take it out on the exercise machine or weights ... what ever floats your boat ... but make sure you do something you enjoy ... or else you won't stick to it.
you can do it like many others before you have!0 -
It took more that a week to put it on so its going to take more then a week to loose it. Be patient!! I've been on my journey for 5 weeks and find myself discouraged quite a bit too. It helps me to look at before and after pictures I can find on this site. It makes me realize that it IS possible and it renews my faith in myself and my goals. Chin up!0
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you just have to think about all you are doing and see yourself at where you wanna be. we all get discouraged, and bummed and wanna quit, but i have quit and then feel even worse, so now i just keep pushing on, whether i feel like it or not. To me its just mind over matter, i want this, im gonna do this, i can do this...
YOU CAN DO THIS.. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!0 -
I think ok, this is bad today. But one day in the future, IF I carry on with this, I'll look at myself and say HELL YES.
We all have bad days, I'm having one too, but you just have to remember all the minor achievements you've made already. One huge one you've already made is not just to decide you need to lose weight but to actually do something about it.
Try writing down milestones as you hit them. Not 'I lost 2lbs', stuff like 'I can see my collar bones today', or 'my *kitten* is as big as ever but DAMN does it look good'. Look at it when you're having crap days and remember it isn't all negative. Even if it's just the power and strength you get from a really good workout, embrace it and focus on it. So for me today, it's my hips, they're tighter than they were, tons of work to do on my gut and thighs, but it's a change in the right direction.0 -
I can relate. While I never had a lot to lose, I did have a 10lb baby. While things arent "terrible", they just arent the same as when I was at my best. Sometimes I struggle with the last few pounds, because I think the same things.......... Who really cares about a few pounds, I will never look as good as I used to.
At the end of the day its more about being healthy anyway. Every pound that you can take off will make you healthier and stronger. You wont know what you'll look like until you lose some, and its worth it for health if nothing else. The body is an amazing thing, and with the right fuel and exercise- you would be surprised what it can do.
Keep your chin up- I dont think any of us "love" the way we look every day. We're always more critical of ourselves than others are. This I can promise you- take the weight off and you'll be glad you did.
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I do know how you feel. There are a lot of us here that can relate to that. That's why it's so important to keep coming here and let us motivate you and cheer you up when you're feeling this way. I'd encourage you to look for people on here that have lost over a hundred pounds. Seriously, I've didn't look that good at my lowest weight! There are people on here that have really REALLY rocked it out! There's no reason you cant be one of them!!!!!0
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What two people told me who ran a gym. "**** happens."
No, really, they told me that. xD
Regardless of how you were then, this is what you are now. Learn to love yourself to modivate yourself to a better place. This isn't forever. You have the power, and the will, to change the way you look. It won't be easy.
There will be blood, sweat, and tears. Hang in there and you will get to you're goal.0 -
1. Takes pictures of yourself (all views) and take measurements.
2. Focus on a part of your body that you can love now.
3. Every 20 pounds or so retake the pictures (wear the same clothes).
4. Compare the pictures and really look at your self.
5. Keep looking for new changes in your body, you will be surprised!
Good luck with your endeavors!0 -
I can totally relate, I was never slim, but pretty athletic and I have put on quite a number ( about 100 as well) of pounds since my college career ended. Without that conditioning and playing everyday, I ballooned. I actually hurt myself a few days ago trying to jump into exercises i used to do and am so not ready for. I lost all motivation and confidence. When i look in the mirror i too am shocked at what i did to myself. Now since i can't work out as much, im really focusing on what i eat. trying to remember that putting it on was a slow process, and for it to come off will be slow too.
im pretty new here and looking for friends if you wanna friend me and we can give some support
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I recently began my weight-loss journey (last week) at the heaviest weight I have ever been. I was thin and athletic most of my life, but I still always found fault with my body (don't know what you got til it's gone, huh?).
I've had a lot of free time and have been motivated to work out for long hours and eat well, but today when I got home from the gym happy and exhausted, I looked in the mirror when I was about to take a shower and just said "ugggggh!"
I feel really depressed and unmotivated now because I'm looking at all of the damage I've done to my body by putting this weight on, and I can't imagine how losing it will make me look better. I need to lose about 100 pounds, but I feel like I'm just going to look disgusting anyway now that I've made myself lumpy and misshapen with fat.
Can anybody talk me out of this? Or relate to how I feel right now? How do you guys cope when you are completely disappointed with what you see in the mirror?
oh honey I feel for you! I was always thin even after my babies never had any problems. Then wham! I put on weight that won't go away. I look at old pictures and I am like what happened to me? Anyway, I am working really hard on lifestyle changes that is what is really going to make the difference for anyone needing to lose any amount of weight. Every time I look at my logging days I feel proud of myself for not eating fast food or getting in a workout. Little victories! At this point I just reach a weight that I was two years ago. And I have more to go but, I am proud of it! Also, I am only weighing myself every couple of weeks so, I don't obsess over the weight and focus on the lifestyle changes I am making for myself and my family. Be proud of every hurdle and talk positively to yourself push that negativity away. We are all in this together.0 -
That same thought has caused me to give up so many times- "Even IF I lose the weight, I'll probably still look pudgy and I'll never have the body I want." When I feel like that now though, I check out the Success Stories and Before & After pics on the Forums. To see what other people have accomplished makes me know that it IS possible and it makes me excited to keep going. Now it's the patience I need to work on.0
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Go ahead and get mad! It helped me in the beginning. But then start to enjoy all the things that have nothing to do with how you look or what you weigh. Do you have more energy from eating well? Do you snore now and won't soon? Do you ache a little less from normal activities? Do you ache a little more because you're developing muscle in there? Be proud of yourself for doing something about your health! There are millions of people out there who are doing nothing! You are so far ahead of them just for trying! And when you look back a year from now, because you're NOT giving up, you'll be so glad you stuck with it.0
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Though looks can be a motivating reaon to lose weight, also think of the health advantages. So many people die of weight-related diseases. By taking the steps you are, you can totally avoid them and live a healthy, long life. Or you can stop, stay at a unhealthy weight and eventually gain a sickness or back pain or knees pains, etc, which were preventable, and live the rest of your life that way.0
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I am pregnant right now, and have real stretch marks for the first time in my life. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to make you feel beautiful, but I just feel icky. When this baby gets here, I won't have 100 lbs to lose, but I will have a good amount and have a feeling my body will probably never look the same... but, that doesn't mean it can't still look good! If you focus on how giant the mountain you have to climb is, you're setting yourself up for failure. Focus on small accomplishments, like the first ten pounds. Soon, you will have lost 50! You can still have a beautiful body. It may not ever be the same, but it is not ruined. I have seen transformations on here proving that.
P.s., Try heavy lifting. It really does transform your body.0 -
I know how you feel and I only have 30lbs to lose compared to you. Why don't you look at some of the Success Stories to motivate you? The good thing about have alot to lose its that you get results pretty quickly which motivates you as well.
Also create mini goals - a manicure for 10lbs lost, ipad for 50lbs, etc.0 -
I am pregnant right now, and have real stretch marks for the first time in my life. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to make you feel beautiful, but I just feel icky. When this baby gets here, I won't have 100 lbs to lose, but I will have a good amount and have a feeling my body will probably never look the same... but, that doesn't mean it can't still look good! If you focus on how giant the mountain you have to climb is, you're setting yourself up for failure. Focus on small accomplishments, like the first ten pounds. Soon, you will have lost 50! You can still have a beautiful body. It may not ever be the same, but it is not ruined. I have seen transformations on here proving that.
P.s., Try heavy lifting. It really does transform your body.
Stretch marks I know how you feel. I feel that even if I reach my goal my stripes will prevent me from showing off my new body.0 -
Obsessing with outcome is not really helpful when it comes to fitness. Focus on the process: the fact that, by choosing to eat healthy and work out to make yourself healthier, you are affirming your respect for yourself, demonstrating your strength of character, and showing that you value the relationships you have with your friends and family, both by becoming healthier so that you can feel better and be healthier and thus a better friend/family member, as well as setting a good example for those around you. Focus on the fact that you are rejecting your behaviors that were rooted in negativity and self-doubt, and instead embracing personal empowerment and self-improvement. Every time you finish a work-out instead of sitting on the couch, and every time you choose to eat healthy, or to avoid eating something that you know you shouldn't, you are demonstrating that you are a strong person, who is willing to do what you know that you should be doing, instead of giving in to our culture of self-indulgence and self-destructive instant-gratification.
Looking good is a side-effect that comes from DOING good. A healthy lifestyle is its own reward.0 -
I am pregnant right now, and have real stretch marks for the first time in my life. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to make you feel beautiful, but I just feel icky. When this baby gets here, I won't have 100 lbs to lose, but I will have a good amount and have a feeling my body will probably never look the same... but, that doesn't mean it can't still look good! If you focus on how giant the mountain you have to climb is, you're setting yourself up for failure. Focus on small accomplishments, like the first ten pounds. Soon, you will have lost 50! You can still have a beautiful body. It may not ever be the same, but it is not ruined. I have seen transformations on here proving that.
P.s., Try heavy lifting. It really does transform your body.
Stretch marks I know how you feel. I feel that even if I reach my goal my stripes will prevent me from showing off my new body.
Mine aren't too bad... yet..but I still have 3 1/2 months of belly growing and weight gain! I am scared! I know they will fade eventually and weight loss helps, but they're still intimidating.0 -
I can relate too.
Sometimes I look at myself and wonder how on earth I could do this to myself, kicking myself for not taking better care during my 3 pregnancies and post pregnancy and how saggy everything will be when I'm eventually done... but then week after week I see a lot more positive changes in my body. Less lumps and dimples, more muscle definition, and how much better I actually look despite the imperfections I see.. which aren't really imperfections after all because they show I'm a mother. Then there's all the other things, like my sleeping, my energy levels, my depression, my overall health and outlook on life.. etc.. all of that has improved drastically.
Take photo's, set yourself goals, do nice things for you to reward yourself for hitting them and focus on the positives you are doing for yourself.. and strength train. The good will far outweigh the bad.0 -
You guys are amazing! I'm so happy you all responded, because I was really feeling alone.
I'm actually making a list of all your key points to remind myself the next time I feel like this.
Like you suggested, short-terms goals are really something I should think about, and I'm about to check out the before and after photos in success stories.
I'm also going to take "before" photos too so I can celebrate small changes as was suggested. (Just not tonight, because I really don't want to get sad about my body again.)
The fact that you guys are struggling through the same feelings but still making progress is seriously inspiring. I was afraid I would just sound whiny and annoying, but the fact that so many of you responded with positive advice and stories means more than I can express.
Like a few people said, it's about health too, and it's wonderful to have such a supportive community of great people to motivate each other. I hope you guys stay strong too and that we can all grow (or shrink? lol) to love ourselves some day soon.0 -
I was very athletic and always had a flat stomach. Then I also gained 100 pounds along with some lovely stretch marks. I know these will never go away, however I have lost about 35 pounds and it's quite astonishing how the stretch marks fade, my face is starting to look more like me, even my friends say I look like me instead of a stranger, and the best part is wearing clothes that I like again. Actually, the best part is not huffing and puffing after everyone when we go places. I can keep up, I want to do things, I want to be out and about, I want to be social again. This is just after 35 pounds, so you can imagine what a motivation this is to lose more and get back to my trim self. This means that I might actually be able to get back into a wetsuit and do scuba diving again.
I celebrated each week when I lost my one or two pounds. That's how I thought of it. Then, all of a sudden I had transformed and here I am looking better and feeling amazing. Just focus on what you can see, the pounds coming off on the scale, then you'll start noticing the positive changes in the rest of you and the momentum will pick up and you'll be an athlete again.0 -
I am also worried about this.. I've been over weight my whole life.. I don't know if I can look good/ skinny at all.. =/ I'm doing it for the health of it though Just think like that.. it is for your health. Looking good/ not good at the end isn't gonna matter because you've lessened your risk of cancer, diabetes, heart disease.. all of that.
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I can understand how you feel. I had such a good shape and strong healthybines and nice skin. Well I wrecked it all. Alot of stuff happened in my life that left me wallowing in despair and just not caring.Since my absolute heaviest,well before MFP, I weighed about 240, now I am down to 170. I feel much better, Sure there are stretch marks and veins,skin has seen the last of those dewy days. My hour glass figure[which I always kept covered up] is now more like an egg timer, but I wouldn't change these last ,almost 6 months, for anything..unless it was a chance for a 'do over' . Keep your chin up, It will all be worth it. and who knows, depending on how slow you take it and how you exercise, you may find yourself one hot lady again! I wish you well and please don't give up on yourself....0
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Close your eyes. Seriously...stop inspecting your outer body, and think about the inside. I'm not talking emotional stuff here, I'm talking organs. Every pound you lose...your heart beats stronger, lungs breathe deeper etc. I understand the mirror thing but really, what does it matter what you look like if you're not healthy? Think of your health, the good looking body that comes along with your success is just an added bonus! 0
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I am covered in stretch marks. I mean - not like you see a few here and few there. My stomach has bright white lines that are old and ugly. I will never wear a bikini. At my heaviest I was 285lb and I felt depressed and lonely and, most importantly, starved. Starved for something more - something to live for and achieve.
So that's what I am doing. The thing I am living for, apart from child and hubby, is to see how far I can go and what I can do - because I was willing to eat until death (which wasn't long off) so really I am on free time - I can push myself and do what I have to do to find how to be happy in my skin - the alternative was sat on my behind watching tv waiting for death with a bag of cheetos in my lap. I am 155lbs which is unbelievable to me (And I'm not waiting for something to happen anymore - I am the one making things happen).
And your skin will have marks and stretches and so on. So what? Battle scars - you won't forget and you will be stronger for it.
Listen to me, all motivational
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