Can you argue with me or relate?

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  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
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    I am pregnant right now, and have real stretch marks for the first time in my life. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to make you feel beautiful, but I just feel icky. When this baby gets here, I won't have 100 lbs to lose, but I will have a good amount and have a feeling my body will probably never look the same... but, that doesn't mean it can't still look good! If you focus on how giant the mountain you have to climb is, you're setting yourself up for failure. Focus on small accomplishments, like the first ten pounds. Soon, you will have lost 50! You can still have a beautiful body. It may not ever be the same, but it is not ruined. I have seen transformations on here proving that.

    P.s., Try heavy lifting. It really does transform your body.

    Stretch marks I know how you feel. I feel that even if I reach my goal my stripes will prevent me from showing off my new body.
  • wackyfunster
    wackyfunster Posts: 944 Member
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    Obsessing with outcome is not really helpful when it comes to fitness. Focus on the process: the fact that, by choosing to eat healthy and work out to make yourself healthier, you are affirming your respect for yourself, demonstrating your strength of character, and showing that you value the relationships you have with your friends and family, both by becoming healthier so that you can feel better and be healthier and thus a better friend/family member, as well as setting a good example for those around you. Focus on the fact that you are rejecting your behaviors that were rooted in negativity and self-doubt, and instead embracing personal empowerment and self-improvement. Every time you finish a work-out instead of sitting on the couch, and every time you choose to eat healthy, or to avoid eating something that you know you shouldn't, you are demonstrating that you are a strong person, who is willing to do what you know that you should be doing, instead of giving in to our culture of self-indulgence and self-destructive instant-gratification.

    Looking good is a side-effect that comes from DOING good. A healthy lifestyle is its own reward.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    I am pregnant right now, and have real stretch marks for the first time in my life. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to make you feel beautiful, but I just feel icky. When this baby gets here, I won't have 100 lbs to lose, but I will have a good amount and have a feeling my body will probably never look the same... but, that doesn't mean it can't still look good! If you focus on how giant the mountain you have to climb is, you're setting yourself up for failure. Focus on small accomplishments, like the first ten pounds. Soon, you will have lost 50! You can still have a beautiful body. It may not ever be the same, but it is not ruined. I have seen transformations on here proving that.

    P.s., Try heavy lifting. It really does transform your body.

    Stretch marks I know how you feel. I feel that even if I reach my goal my stripes will prevent me from showing off my new body.

    Mine aren't too bad... yet..but I still have 3 1/2 months of belly growing and weight gain! I am scared! I know they will fade eventually and weight loss helps, but they're still intimidating.
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
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    I can relate too.

    Sometimes I look at myself and wonder how on earth I could do this to myself, kicking myself for not taking better care during my 3 pregnancies and post pregnancy and how saggy everything will be when I'm eventually done... but then week after week I see a lot more positive changes in my body. Less lumps and dimples, more muscle definition, and how much better I actually look despite the imperfections I see.. which aren't really imperfections after all because they show I'm a mother. Then there's all the other things, like my sleeping, my energy levels, my depression, my overall health and outlook on life.. etc.. all of that has improved drastically.

    Take photo's, set yourself goals, do nice things for you to reward yourself for hitting them and focus on the positives you are doing for yourself.. and strength train. The good will far outweigh the bad.
  • Eyesee
    Eyesee Posts: 111 Member
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    You guys are amazing! I'm so happy you all responded, because I was really feeling alone.
    I'm actually making a list of all your key points to remind myself the next time I feel like this.
    Like you suggested, short-terms goals are really something I should think about, and I'm about to check out the before and after photos in success stories.
    I'm also going to take "before" photos too so I can celebrate small changes as was suggested. (Just not tonight, because I really don't want to get sad about my body again.)

    The fact that you guys are struggling through the same feelings but still making progress is seriously inspiring. I was afraid I would just sound whiny and annoying, but the fact that so many of you responded with positive advice and stories means more than I can express.

    Like a few people said, it's about health too, and it's wonderful to have such a supportive community of great people to motivate each other. I hope you guys stay strong too and that we can all grow (or shrink? lol) to love ourselves some day soon.
  • chefswife1975
    chefswife1975 Posts: 75 Member
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    I was very athletic and always had a flat stomach. Then I also gained 100 pounds along with some lovely stretch marks. I know these will never go away, however I have lost about 35 pounds and it's quite astonishing how the stretch marks fade, my face is starting to look more like me, even my friends say I look like me instead of a stranger, and the best part is wearing clothes that I like again. Actually, the best part is not huffing and puffing after everyone when we go places. I can keep up, I want to do things, I want to be out and about, I want to be social again. This is just after 35 pounds, so you can imagine what a motivation this is to lose more and get back to my trim self. This means that I might actually be able to get back into a wetsuit and do scuba diving again.
    I celebrated each week when I lost my one or two pounds. That's how I thought of it. Then, all of a sudden I had transformed and here I am looking better and feeling amazing. Just focus on what you can see, the pounds coming off on the scale, then you'll start noticing the positive changes in the rest of you and the momentum will pick up and you'll be an athlete again.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    I am also worried about this.. I've been over weight my whole life.. I don't know if I can look good/ skinny at all.. =/ I'm doing it for the health of it though =) Just think like that.. it is for your health. Looking good/ not good at the end isn't gonna matter because you've lessened your risk of cancer, diabetes, heart disease.. all of that. <3
  • prism6
    prism6 Posts: 484 Member
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    I can understand how you feel. I had such a good shape and strong healthybines and nice skin. Well I wrecked it all. Alot of stuff happened in my life that left me wallowing in despair and just not caring.Since my absolute heaviest,well before MFP, I weighed about 240, now I am down to 170. I feel much better, Sure there are stretch marks and veins,skin has seen the last of those dewy days. My hour glass figure[which I always kept covered up] is now more like an egg timer, but I wouldn't change these last ,almost 6 months, for anything..unless it was a chance for a 'do over' . Keep your chin up, It will all be worth it. and who knows, depending on how slow you take it and how you exercise, you may find yourself one hot lady again! I wish you well and please don't give up on yourself....
  • Cyndieann
    Cyndieann Posts: 152 Member
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    Close your eyes. Seriously...stop inspecting your outer body, and think about the inside. I'm not talking emotional stuff here, I'm talking organs. Every pound you lose...your heart:heart: beats stronger, lungs breathe deeper etc. I understand the mirror thing but really, what does it matter what you look like if you're not healthy? Think of your health, the good looking body that comes along with your success is just an added bonus! :smile:
  • Kebby83
    Kebby83 Posts: 232 Member
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    I am covered in stretch marks. I mean - not like you see a few here and few there. My stomach has bright white lines that are old and ugly. I will never wear a bikini. At my heaviest I was 285lb and I felt depressed and lonely and, most importantly, starved. Starved for something more - something to live for and achieve.

    So that's what I am doing. The thing I am living for, apart from child and hubby, is to see how far I can go and what I can do - because I was willing to eat until death (which wasn't long off) so really I am on free time - I can push myself and do what I have to do to find how to be happy in my skin - the alternative was sat on my behind watching tv waiting for death with a bag of cheetos in my lap. I am 155lbs which is unbelievable to me (And I'm not waiting for something to happen anymore - I am the one making things happen).

    And your skin will have marks and stretches and so on. So what? Battle scars - you won't forget and you will be stronger for it.

    Listen to me, all motivational ;) .
  • WinWinGo
    WinWinGo Posts: 99 Member
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    I can relate. I thought "uugh" when looking at my reflection even at my lower weights. These days, I just try not to think about it so much. Or I admire my butt. I have a weirdly compliant butt, so if I workout it looks/feels better. Perhaps you can find some part of your body that improves quickly with exercise and focus on that. Don't give up, no matter what happens. Progress is progress. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." etc.
  • acelynp2
    acelynp2 Posts: 79 Member
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    I can totally relate. It is hard to look in the mirror and see someone you don't want to recognize. And it is really hard how slowly the weight loss process can go. Sometimes I lose a lb and expect to look totally different because of all the effort losing that lb involved. The key is to find things that make you happy during the process and motivate you to continue it. Here are some things that work for me:
    Even if you don't plan to stay the size you are, make sure you have a few really cute stylish things to wear in whatever size you are. Wearing cute clothes that fit is a total mood booster. And do the whole outfit--wear jewelry (again buy some eye-catching fun pieces), wear makeup, do your hair (get a haircut regularly). Get mani/pedis. Floss, moisturize. All of these will make you feel more worthy.
    Make working out fun. I have bought a bunch of exercise class groupons over the past year and get friends to sign up too. Trying something new and fun with a friend is exciting and having a buddy makes it easier to go. For things I do alone, like running or riding my bike, I made a great playlist which I regularly add to. It totally motivates me to have great music. Again, I recommend getting some cute workout clothes. Dressing like you are an athlete is more motivating than slumping around is ratty old tshirts and stretched out shorts.
    Posture: stand up straight and tall sucking your gut in at all times. Walk fast and with purpose. Take the stairs because your legs are strong and you can. (If you can't, make it a goal.)
    Eventally the lbs will fall off and you will start to see muscle defintiion. Just keep at it! Good luck!!

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