What do you tell people...

DBell28
DBell28 Posts: 45
edited December 19 in Motivation and Support
When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to), "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?
«134

Replies

  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
    I find that those comments usually come from people that can't control their own eating habits. It's their own guilt that causes them to comment. I tell them that I enjoy what I'm eating and I know it likes me back.
  • LAWoman79
    LAWoman79 Posts: 348 Member
    "Obesessed" is just a word lazy people use for the dedicated. If your friends are that rude, they are either jealous, or just jers, so I'd drop them.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    I would look them in the eye and tell them it's not any of their business how you order....unless they're paying for it.
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    The comments will stop. Eventually people will never remember that you didn't always eat healthy. Eating healthy is the minority. Unhealthy people genuinely don't understand.
  • kfitzpa
    kfitzpa Posts: 326
    I get this done to me all the time. Everytime I pass up a cookie or a cupcake I get the "You skinny *****, you can afford to eat that cookie!" It drives me insane but at the end of the day that's WHY I'm skinny/happy so it doesn't matter.
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
    I don't have to say much, I just point out the belt loop I used to fit in, and show them where it is now.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I just tell them I like the healthy food better. And now, I do. Bread is just not worth it some days. Appetizers aren't either.

    Or I just say "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and they usually shuts them up...
  • 1nsanity
    1nsanity Posts: 95 Member
    a friend did this to me one time. without looking away from my menu, i (somewhat smugly) replied, "just cause you dont wanna look like a fatass eating an overloaded burger while i am eating a salad, doesnt mean you have to be negative about it. let me order what i want and shut the **** up"

    he hasnt said a word about what i eat since. be harsh, be brash. if your friend cant support you, then screw em. stay positive yourself! psychologically your friend wants to be on the same "level" as you. if they feel you are more esteemed than them, they will either gain confidence themselves and come up to your level, or bring you down to theirs. dont let them bring you down.
  • sexycheesemonkey
    sexycheesemonkey Posts: 196 Member
    Many people tend to feel threatened by someone eating different...because it forces them to evaluate how they themselves are eating. And by trying to make you eat similar foods to what they eat, is a way of generally making themselves feel better about eating in a way they know is most likely not good. Being the big girl in my group of skinny friends, they have never said anything about how I eat, and now that my eating has changed they are less inclined themselves to have dessert, or to order an appetizer as well as a large entree. When someone is placed in a situation that makes them comfortable the first natural instinct is to make it more comfortable...and to somehow take control.

    It's probably nothing personal against you, just tell them that you would prefer not to have whatever they are suggesting. It doesn't make you obsessed...it makes you in control of what goes into your mouth, instead of being controlled by whatever cravings you might have, or whatever emotions might dictate that you should be consuming.
  • tony2009
    tony2009 Posts: 201 Member
    I have on more than one occasion I was aloud to order my food and get what I wanted. That's when I'm in a good mood. I've also had friends who I thought were jealous of me and my success so I just tell them to go to hell. They stopped asking me about food choices. ^_^
  • AmadaLynn
    AmadaLynn Posts: 116
    I get this sometimes too... "That is all you're going to eat?" I just yea, it fills me up and I feel healthy. If you have a problem with it, oh well!

    You do just have to be harsh though.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Just tell them that you are healthier than you've ever been. Tell them you had a filling lunch or breakfast. or that you have a photo shoot in the morning lol..
  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439
    That's a good question I've never really had to deal with because usually I'm having a spike or cheat day when I'm with others LOL When I'm with my immediate family I eat healthy and they don't question it, they support me. But you've got me thinking now, how to react to negative comments of others not on your fitness path. My immediate co-workers are health conscious too so no problem there. I guess I'd say something like "my body, my business" LOLOL
  • Skyla08
    Skyla08 Posts: 32 Member
    I am on the other side of this...people at work pass around sweets all the time and now that i'm on track to eating healthy they all look at me like "WTF why isn't the fat girl taking the treats" it's almost like people just assume that because I am overweight I will eat sweets, or go for seconds, or take the last piece of cake?? At this point I really don't care what they think, I am doing this for me and my health. You shouldn't have to explain why you order what you do, or why you turn down sweets or what not. What you put in your body is your choice, and I do not feel the need to explain it at all! :)
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    I don't say anything. I don't talk to people about what kind of diet I'm on. I eat by myself, usually, and if I go out and order a salad people don't usually say anything.

    I DO however have a coworker who will comment on all the "healthy" things I do. If she asks what I ate for lunch, I say "salad with chicken" the response is "oooh you're so HEALTHY". If she asks what I'm doing over the weekend, and I say "I'm riding my bike", she starts talking about what great exercise that is. Thanks, I had no idea. I get that she's trying to be nice, but she is OBSESSED with making comments about health and fitness and it gets really overwhelming when I'm just trying the best I can to NOT obsess over these things.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I don't say anything. I don't talk to people about what kind of diet I'm on. I eat by myself, usually, and if I go out and order a salad people don't usually say anything.

    I DO however have a coworker who will comment on all the "healthy" things I do. If she asks what I ate for lunch, I say "salad with chicken" the response is "oooh you're so HEALTHY". If she asks what I'm doing over the weekend, and I say "I'm riding my bike", she starts talking about what great exercise that is. Thanks, I had no idea. I get that she's trying to be nice, but she is OBSESSED with making comments about health and fitness and it gets really overwhelming when I'm just trying the best I can to NOT obsess over these things.


    Maybe she's hoping you'll invite her for that bike ride? Or invite her to the joys of healthy eating? She might be to shy to ask you outright...........
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    If someone asks me that question, I smile, and I simply state, "Because this is what I enjoy. Why did you choose to order [insert their meal here]?"
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
    Nothing what I eat doesn't concern anyone but me and my body.
  • Merrychrissmith
    Merrychrissmith Posts: 231 Member
    Next time I am just going to ask gently " Why does it make you uncomfortable?' when someone questions my food choices. Gotta use a neutral, kind tone so it doesn't sound snarky. i really would be interested in an honest answer but low expectations. :-)
  • bellyake3
    bellyake3 Posts: 135 Member
    When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to), "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

    I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?

    "you are obsessed"...obsessed is the word the weak give the determined..don't let them phase you..I get looks and sly comments from waiters asking me "is that all your gonna eat"..It actually makes me giggle inside now..be strong and stick to your guns..you are the only person that's gonna take care of you..no one else.
  • paulwgun
    paulwgun Posts: 439 Member
    Since deciding to turn my life around last year, im now wishing i would have done it back in my late teens, however my daughter who was carrying a bit of weight at 14 yrs has seen my progress and off her own back she has lost weight by healthy eating shes now 15 yrs and is blooming in to a young woman

    My gripe...............Aimee (thats my daughter) goes to her grandmothers once a week for dinner (my mother in law) MIL knows that Aimee is healthy eating and fair play she makes salad or pasta for her which is good but then she goes in to the cupboard and brings out chocolate cake or chocolate biscuits telling Aimee "have some, cause im having some"

    I honestly have to bite my tongue when MIL does this as she then offers her the cake about 6 -7 times even though shes declined each time :explode: :mad: Rant over
  • bellyake3
    bellyake3 Posts: 135 Member
    I find that those comments usually come from people that can't control their own eating habits. It's their own guilt that causes them to comment. I tell them that I enjoy what I'm eating and I know it likes me back.

    diddo..Keeping yourself feeling strong is your responsibility -- no one is going to force you to treat yourself well. In fact, it's other people who usually are the reason you do things that aren't the best for you to do!
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    I try to laugh it off. I get even stranger comments (than the OP) b/c I just happen to love produce (fruits and veg), but I also eat junk food, so sometimes people say things like: Why are you eating these healthy salads and then I see you eating potato chips?
    I just shrug and tell them: I'm not a health nut, I just eat what I want to eat...like everyone else does.
    That usually shuts them up.

    I find that the people make weird comments b/c when they see me eating something healthy, they take it personally, like a silent criticism of their food choices - when in reality I'm not saying anything or making a statement. I'm just eating my darn lunch!

    I honestly feel bad for them b/c they are thinking about it way more than I am. I wouldn't presume to tell someone to eat what I'm eating. But I can't do anything if they have their own issues. They are wasting time wondering about why I eat what I eat!
  • beaner1st
    beaner1st Posts: 229 Member

    Or I just say "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and they usually shuts them up...

    Love this one. It is so true.
  • TXBelle1174
    TXBelle1174 Posts: 615 Member
    I get it on the other end of the spectrum - I am still about 50lbs overweight. Sometimes when I go to a restaurant and I order grilled fish and a plate of broccoli - the waiter will say "Oh come on, you dont want want some mac n cheese or a baked potato?" - Um, no, I dont.. I am trying to make my *kitten* smaller, not bigger thank you very much. Or mom in law says "oh, one piece of pie isnt going to hurt you"... Yes, it is. I am not supposed to have sugar and I feel like crap when I eat that junk. So it seems like because I am already fat, one piece of cake isnt going to matter. Leave me to my fish and veggies and Ill leave you to your heart attack burger.
  • alyson820
    alyson820 Posts: 448 Member
    Just say 'I love salads!'. It'll reinforce to them that this is how you want to eat, not that you're depriving yourself.

    I don't have this problem much, honestly. I'm allergic to so much that my friends usually ask 'are you sure you can eat that?!', they're adorable and look out for me.
  • hdsqrl
    hdsqrl Posts: 420 Member
    For the past few years, we've subscribed to an organic fruit & veggie delivery service, and my kids have gotten accustomed to the taste of fruit with no pesticides or wax added. So much so, when I once bought a bag of apples from the grocery store and dumped the apples into a bowl on the table, EVERY SINGLE family member, when they took a bite of an apple, stopped, got a deer-in-the-headlights look, and asked me, Are these organic? (knowing there was something amiss.)

    I found this to be very telling, and relayed the story to my coworkers. Ever since then, they've pestered me about everything I eat, and without fail will banter about "she can't have this, it's not organic". It's funny, yes, but it's getting OLD. I've told them again and again that we don't eat entirely organic, but they won't let up. If we go to lunch together, they'll comment on how the burgers (or whatever) might not be organic, and is that okay (har har har), etc.

    I'm half tempted to go 100% organic and start refusing their lunch invites just on principle. :devil:
  • DBell28
    DBell28 Posts: 45
    Thanks everyone for the support and advice, I'm glad I am not alone here. Im going out tonight and I'm sure I'll get a "comment" so now I know what to say :)

    xo
  • 0622cameron
    0622cameron Posts: 49
    I am on the other side of this...people at work pass around sweets all the time and now that i'm on track to eating healthy they all look at me like "WTF why isn't the fat girl taking the treats" it's almost like people just assume that because I am overweight I will eat sweets, or go for seconds, or take the last piece of cake?? At this point I really don't care what they think, I am doing this for me and my health. You shouldn't have to explain why you order what you do, or why you turn down sweets or what not. What you put in your body is your choice, and I do not feel the need to explain it at all! :)

    You said exactly what I was thinking. I have been working with these people for 4 yrs so they are so use to me eating like them now they don't understand why I want eat when we have special occaisions. My supervisor really acted like her feelings were hurt. Some people are just crazy!!!
  • Finch000
    Finch000 Posts: 6 Member
    I just look at them and say why are you not ordering this and then listen to all their excuses about not wanting to live healthy etc..
This discussion has been closed.

Categories