okay I'm totally insulted ugh!

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ali106
ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I needed to vent and I don't want to say anything to my hubby because he's just like, you look great and what do you expect your a mom now....sigh...he has never had a weight problem or issue so he really doesn't get it....but okay I had to say it to someone....am I being too sensitive????

we went out last night after work to meet some old co-workers who were in town....they brought their partners w/ them....so we are all talking I'm eating celery sticks and carrot sticks from the buffalo wings and not really drawing attention to me not pigging out on the apps....okay so one of them says, "oh what is w/ the rabbit food girl?!" so I said, "I love my veggies" and laughed it off, then he goes on to say to his partner...."omg before Ali had her kid she was sooo hot! I mean omg this girl was a knockout.....you should have seen her then....":embarassed: I mean I was like...aw that's sweet...hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now? I mean I never thought I was all that BELIEVE ME! and I think he was trying to be nice BUT it made me feel soooo low, I mean I'm trying so hard to get fit again and it just felt like omg....waste of time....because I obviously look like I've really let myself go! sigh....

ugh I hope to God this does not sound vain in anyway, I am trying to lose weight mainly to be healthy so I can be here as long as I can for my son....that is bottom line top priority whatever you want to call it...if I look better and feel better great...I mean we all want to look good right....so why did this hurt my feelings so much???

Idk....am I being too sensitive...I didn't say anything I just kind of smiled and stopped eating...felt subconscious and then left not too long after....it basically sucked LOL

sigh thanks for letting me vent it here...so great to have a place to say things like this...
hugs!
Ali
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Replies

  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    I needed to vent and I don't want to say anything to my hubby because he's just like, you look great and what do you expect your a mom now....sigh...he has never had a weight problem or issue so he really doesn't get it....but okay I had to say it to someone....am I being too sensitive????

    we went out last night after work to meet some old co-workers who were in town....they brought their partners w/ them....so we are all talking I'm eating celery sticks and carrot sticks from the buffalo wings and not really drawing attention to me not pigging out on the apps....okay so one of them says, "oh what is w/ the rabbit food girl?!" so I said, "I love my veggies" and laughed it off, then he goes on to say to his partner...."omg before Ali had her kid she was sooo hot! I mean omg this girl was a knockout.....you should have seen her then....":embarassed: I mean I was like...aw that's sweet...hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now? I mean I never thought I was all that BELIEVE ME! and I think he was trying to be nice BUT it made me feel soooo low, I mean I'm trying so hard to get fit again and it just felt like omg....waste of time....because I obviously look like I've really let myself go! sigh....

    ugh I hope to God this does not sound vain in anyway, I am trying to lose weight mainly to be healthy so I can be here as long as I can for my son....that is bottom line top priority whatever you want to call it...if I look better and feel better great...I mean we all want to look good right....so why did this hurt my feelings so much???

    Idk....am I being too sensitive...I didn't say anything I just kind of smiled and stopped eating...felt subconscious and then left not too long after....it basically sucked LOL

    sigh thanks for letting me vent it here...so great to have a place to say things like this...
    hugs!
    Ali
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    Whoa. . .that was rude. Was there alcohol involved. . .or was that just a big old foot in the mouth problem.

    Since I"m in a really snarky place right now. . .maybe you should have replied. . ."hey, when was it you were hot?" "Because I don't remember?".

    You are smokin' hot right now, because the hotness comes from within. :flowerforyou:
  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
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    tell him how you feel, it will only get worse if you don't
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    I think he WAS trying to give you a compliment, but it did come out more of an insult to you now. I defintely don't think you are being too sensitive, I think that would hurt a lot of people's feelings. Though keep in mind that I don't think he was trying to be mean, just had a moment of foot in the mouth. He probably felt really bad afterward, thinking man, that totally did not come out right. I can't count the number of times I have done something like that and then felt so bad afterward. Sorry that ruined your night!
  • chriss1tt
    chriss1tt Posts: 365 Member
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    You r doing great. Some people do not think before they speak.:mad: I know it was upsetting but know you r doing a great thing for you but most importand u r doing it for your son. He is what matters the most and to have you around for a very long time(till he is like 90):wink: is what you need to think about. I hope as the day goes on you can let the remark go and focus on you and your son. You have a great day. Keep up the good work.:flowerforyou:
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
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    We know that true beauty isn't how we look, but since he was talking about your physical appearance I just want to say, I saw your photos and you are still absolutely beautiful. He probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, just didn't think or is too dumb to realize how it would make you feel. I understand cause something similar happened to me one time. My husband was in the military and had a bunch of the young single guys over one night. A few were looking around and saw our wedding picture and told me, "Wow, you use to be really beautiful." I know they meant it as a compliment, but really, "used to be?" and what am I now chopped liver?
    You'll probably feel better about it later, or if you want - use it for motivation. You are really close to your goal. Great job.:flowerforyou:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    He probably didn't mean it the way he said it, but what a doofus. :noway:
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it came out. And it also likely had more to do with weight or anything..... You're a mom now..... People think of you differently when you're a mom than when you're a single woman. You dress differently, act differently and have different priorities. That said, I still would have taken offense....... lol and I would have mouthed off to him too...... cause that's just how I roll LOL :laugh:
  • Life_is_Good
    Life_is_Good Posts: 361 Member
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    He was trying to make conversation, fine... but what a ****!!!

    "JERK" - had to find a new word, this program didn't like my first one :tongue:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    LOL...omg I absolutely love you guys!!!!!!!

    thanks so much for responding and already making me feel better....its amazing what having people who can understand will do for your mood!!! big hugs!

    and omg thanks for making me laugh too!!! I needed it!!!
    hugs,
    Ali
  • pam0206
    pam0206 Posts: 700 Member
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    Who cares what he said? YOUR heart is in the right place....sounds like he was out of his mind! I don't know one woman who is a mother who has the EXACT same body as she did before her child(ren). I know it isn't true for me, but (and I know you agree with me) I wouldn't trade my babies for my pre-baby body. Sounds to me like this guy hasn't grown up yet. Unfortunately, we grow up and others are still stuck in their childish mindsets. How's he looking these days? You are still BEAUTIFUL. Now you're getting healthier. GL and don't let that flippant comment deter you in any way. <<<<<Big hugs.>>>>> :flowerforyou:
  • krazykayzy
    krazykayzy Posts: 51 Member
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    I agree with Viviakay......it was very rude, but you shouldn't let it get you down. I think you should talk to your husband about it too. My husband says the same thing "You've had my kids, I love you anyway." Which is nice to know that they love you as a person, not a piece of meat......however, after I had kids my husband stopped smacking my butt for random reasons or groping me, and as stupid as it sounds I missed it! And it made me wonder if I turned him on anymore, so that is part of my motivation now, and it's working! And believe it or not I don't think they realize the change in the way they treat you affects you. Just remember, you're not married to that other guy, (and if you were I'd tell you to get out...lol) and in the end his opinion of your hotness rating doesn't matter. Before or after having kids. Get healthy for yourself, your kids, your husband and as defeating as a comment like that is, use it to motivate you, not drag you down. If you were there once you can get there again, and you have a great support team here to help you wade through the BS. Good luck and don't give up!!!
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
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    I would have been upset too Ali.
    I guess people have stopped to think before they actually open their pie hole.
    Girl, YOU ARE HAWT!!!!!!!!
    If I were you, I would have made a smart *kitten* remark right back.
    I know.. 2 wrongs don't make a right but sometimes you have to give them a taste of their own medicine.

    He was just trying to be the funny guy.. you know there's always one of "those" in the group.
    I'm sure the others thought he was out of line.

    ~Joanna:flowerforyou:
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
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    that is a very insenstive thing for ANY person to say. You are taking it the same way most any of us would! Chin up!
  • KrisKabob
    KrisKabob Posts: 1,250 Member
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    I would have looked at him and been like "Hello! I'm sitting RIGHT here! How does your foot taste?"

    What a jerk! Did he just think you were going to be like "Yeah, you should have seen me! I don't know what the hell happened!?!?!"

    I can't stand people like that... it's like they have no filter at all!!!
  • KrisKabob
    KrisKabob Posts: 1,250 Member
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    I guess I am being too negative - you should have said "You think I was hot then... Wait til you see me in a couple months!!!" O' and "How does your foot taste?"
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
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    You said it right the 1st time FitKB :laugh:

    ~Joanna:flowerforyou:
  • zenmama
    zenmama Posts: 1,000
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    <smak> I have been there b4....I would let him know how his "words" made you feel....Oh and tell him he can have (birth) the kids next time....:laugh:

    zen!:bigsmile:
  • abbychelle07
    abbychelle07 Posts: 656 Member
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    hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now?

    I almost died laughing when I read this line. Seriously, I know what you mean. My family talks about when I was pretty when I was a teen. I'm like "WHEN I WAS???" But I know what they mean, foot in mouth!

    Just keep working at it, and then you can flounce your new butt in front of this guy and think, "In your face, jerkwad!"
  • jenbar
    jenbar Posts: 1,038 Member
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    Hey, it's not easy on the body when YOU'RE CREATING A HUMAN!
    Tell him that he can comment on how you "use to look" when he pops out a watermelon through his butt!
    hehehe!
    j.k. He's a man. Period. They don't think.
    :laugh:

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