Is your Partner or spouse supportive?

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  • coopersmom2006
    coopersmom2006 Posts: 839
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    Mine is also super supportive. I've inspired him to get healthier and he tells everyone that. Not sure what that comment your's made was all about. Have you asked? Have you told him it bothered you?
  • arnoswife
    arnoswife Posts: 228 Member
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    I have been on my weightloss journey for almost a year. It will be a year on June 6th. I started MFP in July 2011. Anyways I have lost a total of 103 lbs. I received my one and only compliment from my husband on Christmas Eve. Other than that he just says I take too much time when I go work out at the gym. When I told him I can't wear my wedding ring anymore cuz its so big, and that I need to get it fitted again; His exact words were "you probably shouldn't cuz WHEN you gain weight again it won't fit again":cry:


    on the positive side our love life has dramatically gotten better!!:happy: :love: :blushing:
  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
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    We're headed to the gym together in about 20 minutes/
  • dlrcpa
    dlrcpa Posts: 114 Member
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    Maybe he feels you are taking time away from being with him? If that's not the case, then just ignore the comments. I got most of my support from my (female) friend who dieted and exercised with me a couple of years ago. Use your MFP friends for support.

    I tell my DH his main benefit from me exercising is that I do a ***LOT*** of yard & house work (as exercise and because I can do more - as a result of other exercise). So he doesn't have to do the yard work, or wash windows, or sweep the deck, etc, etc, Who could argue with that?

    He was mainly unhappy because I quit baking cookies/cake/bread and buying ice cream. He learned he had to go buy those things himself and to please buy a flavor that was lower down on my favorites list and hide them on the top shelf of the pantry or the back of the freezer. Really, that's not too much to ask.
  • danam82
    danam82 Posts: 30
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    My hubby is very supportive of me and he always encourages me to work out. And he always notices and compliments me when I've made a noticeable change. However, he's more concerned with keeping me happy than keeping me on track. I've asked him to keep me accountable as far as the food I eat when I'm around him. But he'd rather see me happily munching away on cookies than tell me I shouldn't eat them and see the guilt/disappointment on my face. LOL. It's a weird problem.
  • BriskisGrl
    BriskisGrl Posts: 461
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    My husband is supportive just as I am with him.
  • zellagrrl
    zellagrrl Posts: 439
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    Mine's largely supportive-- I do get the "you're working out again" comment, but when I asked, it turns out he was worried I was overtraining (I'm not). You might just have to bluntly ask.
  • i_miss_donuts
    i_miss_donuts Posts: 180 Member
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    It sounds like many on here have spouses who are insecure about their relationships and worry that they will be left behind if he/she succeeds. That stinks and must be really hard to live with.

    My husband loves that I workout, but is really unsupportive when it comes to eating healthy. He is 6'5" and naturally thin. He works out - but not as hard or as often as I do. He gives me a hard time about weighing my food, often refuses to eat healthy stuff I prepare (so I wind up eating differently than he and the kids) and he literally ignores me out if I start talking to him about weight issues! I don't get any feedback positive or negative to indicate that he notices results of my work at the gym. grrrr.

    Thank goodness we have people on MFP that get it and are supportive!
  • dontstopmenow87
    dontstopmenow87 Posts: 10
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    My boy-friend is supportive off and on...when I was super excited about losing the first ten pound he said "It's just water weight so it's the easiest to lose." But he is very supportive as far as eating healthy as long as I make enough that he can have tons and not have to control his portions. He barely weighs 130 and eats whatever he wants (lucky him right?)....He has been supportive of me wanting to doing the Insanity program and even said he would do some with me. I even bought a HRM so I would know how many calories I was burning. I am feeling kind of discouraged this week because I didn't get to start it and haven't been able to work out much due to being sick. Went to the doctor today and apparently I have whooping cough...Hoping to start next week and hoping he will be supportive.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    My husband is supportive in a way of not really saying anything, nothing negative but nothing positive...to me.

    He tells his mom that I work out and all that, but says nothing to me except "wouldn't it just be easier to stop eating all togther" or "you should start smoking".

    2 of my favourites have been when he asked me how much I wanted to lose and I said 35 and he asked "why not 50?" and when he asked why all his friends back home have wives that have had kids and they are super skinny.

    :huh:

    Mind you, this is coming from someone who if he wants to drop 5 lbs just doesn't drink beer that weekend.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    nope...no insight...all I know is when I was at my peak weight...my partner said to me, you know you really have to get into shape if you want this relationship to work... (he was grossly out of shape at the time too...so that was doubly hurtful).

    then I started getting into shape and oddly enough he left me for another woman, who happens to be grossly out of shape, and as the door hit his *kitten* on the way out he said "you know we would probably still be in this relationship if you hadn't lost all the weight..."

    OK Jerkface...which way do you want it....

    UGH :noway:
  • MissStatement
    MissStatement Posts: 92 Member
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    My husband and I quit smoking together and we are losing weight together. Neither of us could do it on our own.
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
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    My husband is absolutely my champion on this journey. He eats with me, exercises with me and celebrates my achievements. He didn't need to lose weight but lost about 3kg as a result and his cholesterol figures have improved out of sight.

    in fact, he only ever complains if he misses out on a workout with me, particularly a bike ride.
  • futuresizeeight
    futuresizeeight Posts: 46
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    I am lucky enough to have a very supportive boyfriend. I was overweight when I met him, but am admittedly a bit heavier now. When I told him I wanted to lose some weight, he said I should do whatever makes me happy, :)

    He's one of those people who doesn't gain weight no matter what he eats. I believe his BMI would actually be considered underweight, and he's constantly eating. This makes it tough, because we used to love to eat junk together all the time, getting greasy takeout and such. It was one of our favorite activities to do together. lol

    Sometimes he brings home junk food, which I have done an okay job resisting so far. Now that I told him I want to lose weight, I don't want him to come home and see that all his Doritos are missing.
  • lil_bear0811
    lil_bear0811 Posts: 56
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    I feel so lucky. My boyfriend has been super supportive. He knew I wanted to get into shape and how much my workout time means to me to release stress from work and life in general. He and I joined the gym together, and he roots me on every day when I get up before he does and hit the gym before work. Then we go after work and do another round of cardio for me and we both strength train together. I also find our relationship much more solid, because my workout time helps to cut the stress and I'm not taking it home to him.
  • Prettylittlelotus
    Prettylittlelotus Posts: 239 Member
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    It sounds like jealousy. Misery loves company, and he is probably miserable in his body, and wants you to feel the same. He might be afraid that if you're getting in shape, that means he has to look at himself and possibly realize there are things he could improve as well.
  • Shawn8216
    Shawn8216 Posts: 63 Member
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    Yes, he has been really strong with helpiing me and supporting me with my goals. I have been really hard on myself lately and he definitely laid down the law letting me know I gotta step up my game and not be SOO hard on myself. It helps when he's supportive on my good and bad days because I know I'm not alone and it gives me accountable.
  • Shawn8216
    Shawn8216 Posts: 63 Member
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    Also, I definitely think he is being passive aggressive with you. I'm sorry that he isnt being there on your journey to self-happiness. He is missing out on a lot since this is becoming a lifestyle for you and he obv is a BIG part of your life- I find it sad he doesnt want to be apart of it .. i HOPE he recognizes soon how this is affecting you and make changes to fix it *
  • BettyIW
    BettyIW Posts: 103
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    I am blessed to have a very supportive spouse. We both had talked about losing weight for quite some time. But when it REALLY clicked with me that I was simply going to do this, period, it sunk in for both of us. I joined MFP first and he joined shortly after. We support and encourage each other.
    He fixed up our bikes and we enjoy going on bike rides. We've been going for walks together which is wonderful. So far I've lost 21 pounds and he has lost 14 pounds.
    We both knew that psychically we needed to do this so hopefully we'll be around when our youngest children have children of their own.
  • j1wright
    j1wright Posts: 286 Member
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    My husband is supportive but I think he wishes I wouldn't be so serious about it. He really wants me to have a glass of wine to relax and I tell him not in my calories or I come in from a run and I am sweating and breathing hard and he looks at me and asks if I am going to lighten up a bit. I do good to get two workouts in a week. I just think it is completely different side of me that he is seeing and he thinks I am being too hard on myself. He tells me I look great now and I don't need to lose anymore....this coming from the guy who told me I needed to weigh a certain amount and I am not at his ideal wifely weight yet. They say women are hard to read but men can be just as hard.

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