Just need an ear.

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  • Hickyvikki69
    Hickyvikki69 Posts: 371 Member
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    im a recovering cutter as well. it is hard to get over. i been there done that. i tried starting it again until i started training for a 5k. running is a good technique but running wont solve your problems. plz feel free to add me and talk to me.
  • lelstar
    lelstar Posts: 374 Member
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    I cut myself a bit when I was about that age - it was sort of like a tally for the nights when I felt the absolute worst and it was easier to have the pain on the outside instead of the inside. I hope you csan stop soon.
    I think your school counsellor has been numbed by the spoilt brats who whinge about stupid things that I seem to see these days. Please keep looking for someone to help! I went to my doctor, did a little paper test thingie and he sent me to a counsellor that I didn't have to pay for. It was the biggest and best step I ever took (even if it did take me about 11 years!)
    You are not worthless or any of the things you ahve said - you matter and you are not alone.
  • vguynes
    vguynes Posts: 794 Member
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    Please stop hurting and hating yourself. You really need to talk with a REAL counselor. Since the counselor at your school did not give you the assistance or attention you needed, it's now time to talk with your parents so they can get you the professional help you need. Teen years are DIFFICULT, but it really does get better. Hang in there!
  • CeeRawr89
    CeeRawr89 Posts: 328 Member
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    I'm 18 years old. I'm graduating in a week. Things are moving very quickly and changing a lot... more than I thought was possible. I'm okay with all of that, that isn't the issue.. I need to speak up, and I need a little support. I hope this is okay to say.

    I've been a self harming for seven months. I hate myself. I am the world's ugliest, stupidest, most moronic fool and I can't stand to live in my body. I'm not fishing for compliments, I just really want to disappear. I've felt like this for the past year and a half, and waiting for it to let up isn't really very effective. I spoke to a counselor at my high school, who kind of just waved it off and told me I'd be fine if I just smiled more. I want to be happy, I want to be glad I'm alive and feel good about life. What happened to me? This isn't me.

    I came to this site in January when I decided I'd rather run than cut, and I wanted to change my outlook; I got so sick of hating myself. It worked for a little while... the distraction was nice. But I feel like I'm losing it. I'm so sorry to rant to all of you and whine about my stupid teenage problems, but I'm begging for support. This community is so helpful and uplifting, I just want to be a part of it. I'm sorry if this post bothers anyone, it wasn't my intention to be offensive.
    I was like that when I was in high school as well, it wasn't that long ago, (6 years?) and I was depressed, I felt the only way to feel better and have control was to self harm. It wasn't right, and at the time I didn't see how negatively it was effecting my every day life. I have scars all along my arms because of it and before, it used to bother me, but now I have let go. Hopefully you can make a Dr appointment to talk about this. A counselor at school is going to do nothing. I can tell you from experience. I had to find other ways to deal, I wrote poems and wrote in a journal.
    Depression hit me hard again, I had a baby 2 years ago, and all was fine until she was 9 months old and my life came shattering down and I spiraled into a deep depression, to the point where I was severely depressed, I noticed when I started exercising more I felt so much better about myself... Hopefully you can get back to running or some other type of exercise to start feeling better, but I do recommend you see a dr.
    Don't think that your issues are just "silly teen" issues. They aren't, you matter, your problems matter, and there are people out there who can help you deal....
    *hugs*
  • LynC33
    LynC33 Posts: 196
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    If you really want to get better, then you need to speak to your parents whether you're uncomfortable about it or not. They are the ones that are going to be able to support and help pay for professional help that you do need. Psychiatrists may be able to tap into something that you've buried inside you. When I was in my early 20's I was a cutter and that was because physical pain was better than the emotional pain I was going through. It took counselling and alot of it, to help me get to the core of the problem.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. That is all.
  • susankaye123
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    Hang in there. Im a mother of a daughter that went through so much in school and had a hard time getting out of bed. That was three years ago. When I seen the signs of things not bgeing quite right I took her rifgt out of her school and enrolled her into a private school. It changed her life.Im not sure what your problems stem from but honey it will get better. When you do graduate and get through that part of your life you will see changes. You are not ugly at all, your ugly comes from the inside on how your feeling. So be strong get through each day and find somthing positive in yourself. You are worth it, They say that school is the best part of your life,but actually It is the hardest with so much pressure. My daughter married the first young man she met in the private school who is in university, going into law school. She is so very happy now with a new baby. It was a hard road but now she loves her life.:flowerforyou:
  • durhamity
    durhamity Posts: 174 Member
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    In addition to talking to someone and getting medical help, try focusing on helping someone else or volunteering in an animal shelter or something like that. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder in the winter time, and I know that it can help me to focus my time and attention off of myself for a while.
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
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    I didn't go through with it. Things aren't really improving and it hurts and it's hard and I'm too scared to speak up. I'm doing the best I can. I'm sorry to be so whiny.

    You're not being whiny. You are reaching out to find help, and that is a good thing. You said you got scared and didn't go to your mom to talk about getting help. That is ok! It's ok to be scared. Fear is a normal feeling when dealing with major changes or the unknown. The moment you open up to your mom or anyone close to you who loves you, who you trust, that fear is going to go away. I know it's not simple, but all you need to do is say you need to talk and then force the words out.
  • lind3400
    lind3400 Posts: 557 Member
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    I can't offer any words of advice unfortunately because I haven't solved my problems yet...but I am doing the same things to myself
    I hate myself because I'm 23 and everyone I know is getting married, buying houses and living fantastic lives....and I live with my sister in an apartment my parents pay for...
    I feel like an epic loser and I don't know why I feel this way about myself but you're not alone
  • LynC33
    LynC33 Posts: 196
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    Oh and the school counsellor shouldnt even hold a license to brush something like this off. What a douche!
  • iwantahealthierme13
    iwantahealthierme13 Posts: 337 Member
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    You look like my little cousin and I think she's beautiful, I actually had to look at your profile before I was sure that you are not her because you are the same age as her and look like her twin! Don't hate yourself, you're gorgeous!
  • LynC33
    LynC33 Posts: 196
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    I can't offer any words of advice unfortunately because I haven't solved my problems yet...but I am doing the same things to myself
    I hate myself because I'm 23 and everyone I know is getting married, buying houses and living fantastic lives....and I live with my sister in an apartment my parents pay for...
    I feel like an epic loser and I don't know why I feel this way about myself but you're not alone

    Why would you feel bad about yourself? Alot of young people would be envious that you have what you have. So what if everyone is getting married and buying houses...why the rush. Why dont you live your own life instead of trying to live someone elses. You can get anything you want, you just have to want it for the right reasons, and make a plan of action to get it and work hard for it. Good things will come for you, you just need to be patient
  • mmills4
    mmills4 Posts: 16 Member
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    As hard and scary as it may be you NEED to sit with your mom or someone else your trust that can help you and tell them what is going on and that you need help. I looked online and there is a program called S.A.F.E. alternatives for people who self injury. You and your mom or the other person should check it out. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is getting help. I hope this information helps you.

    Contact
    S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES®
    Phone: 800-DONTCUT®
    800-366-8288
    Fax: 888-296-7988
    Email: info@selfinjury.com
    Web: www.selfinjury.com
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I just want to say that I really admire you for putting yourself out there and reaching out for help. That takes a lot of strength! You deserve happiness and I really hope that you will be able to find it! If at all possible, please try to talk to a professional. That's absolutely terribly that your counselor at school blew you off, people like that shouldn't even hold those types of jobs! If you're going to college soon, a lot of colleges offer free counseling and mental health services, see if that's an option for you. Feel free to add me on here, I really hope things start looking up for you soon :)
  • neurochamp
    neurochamp Posts: 261 Member
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    I have been where you are. I wasn't a "whiny teenager" at the time - I was in my mid 20's and in grad school - so I don't think you're being a whiny teenager at all. What you're feeling can happen to anyone - it sucks, but it's legitimate, and you need to do something to deal with it.

    Seriously consider talking to a therapist - there are many who specialize in young adult stress issues, or even women's stress issues. When I was going through this, I found one through my college's psych services. Calling to make that initial appointment was one of the scariest, most difficult things I ever did in my life (I cried like an idiot on the phone and my hands were shaking so badly), but it was one of the *best* decisions of my life. In the end, I spent a year in talk therapy - one session per week, no drugs prescribed or any of that - with a "generalized anxiety disorder" diagnosis (for what it's worth, I used to cut occasionally, but mostly I suffered from panic attacks related to work/school, and I would have times when nothing was really "wrong" and I would randomly just start crying because I was so generally stressed out; I wasn't eating right, and I wasn't sleeping well, and all of that together made me feel generally "on edge")...but TALKING to somebody neutral who could help me figure out why certain things in my life were causing me so much stress was incredible and lifted such a weight off my shoulders.

    A lot of people stigmatize mental healthcare, but clearly you are dealing with things that are difficult and stressful, and you shouldn't have to go through that by yourself. At the very least, having somebody outside of your family and friends who you can talk to might be very liberating and help you figure out what YOU need to be the happiest, healthiest person you can be. A professional therapist might be the best way to go, because they are *really* well-qualified to deal with the type of stress you're under. That first step is really tough, but if you choose to look for professional help, I think you'll see that it's incredibly worthwhile.

    If you have questions about what therapy is like, feel free to shoot me a message. The idea of therapy may sound scary, but when I was going I actually looked forward to my sessions every week - the young woman who was my therapist was awesome and really easy to talk to. So, again, the first step is the hardest, but if you can make it past that it really does get better.

    :flowerforyou:
  • zaithyr
    zaithyr Posts: 482 Member
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    Lots of people have given you great advice already about different resources, ect... You do need to talk to you mom though. If talking is hard, write it in an email or letter. That counselor is not trained properly and doesn't understand what you are dealing with.

    I have panic anxiety disorder (on top of periods of depression) and for years I've had chronic skin picking and there's been plenty of times I was suicidal. I was able to get to a qualified counselor at one point though and it's helped me a ton. I also take meds for it (which help with the physiological aspect) but counseling/therapy is a good idea because it will help get to the emotional source at the bottom of all this and help you learn to heal. There is most definitely hope!
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
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    Being a teenager is the hardest thing ever. I didn't cut (but I was close) but I battled untreated depression for years as a teen. I didn't like myself or anyone around me. I felt utterly alone. I was expected to be the perfect daughter and the perfect student and I knew I didn't measure up.
    It does get better. It really does. College was a little better. If nothing else the hormones started to level off and I didn't feel quite so out of control of myself. I got more control over my life.
    It keeps getting better. You can be comfortable in your own skin. I now have a husband I love, my dogs, a good job. It didn't happen overnight. I've been in therapy. I've had to learn that it's okay to ask for help. It's still hard sometimes. A good counselor made a huge difference for me.
    I just wish someone would have told the teenage me that life does get better. So I'm telling you, life does get better.
  • Cresentsharps
    Cresentsharps Posts: 39 Member
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    Life i think is alot like love.... sometimes it's easy -natural- other times we feel as if we're backed into a corner and barely clinging to whatever sanity we have left. Some say life gets easier, and for them it may have. But i'm not gonna just sit around and wait for it to get better, and neither should you. Life is too short for us to waste our time waiting for something good to happen. I'm taking my life into my own hands and carving a future i can be proud of. What are you going to do?
  • LynC33
    LynC33 Posts: 196
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    I can't offer any words of advice unfortunately because I haven't solved my problems yet...but I am doing the same things to myself
    I hate myself because I'm 23 and everyone I know is getting married, buying houses and living fantastic lives....and I live with my sister in an apartment my parents pay for...
    I feel like an epic loser and I don't know why I feel this way about myself but you're not alone

    The reason I say this to you is because I was the same. Focusing so much on what others had that I didnt and getting depressed over it. A friend pointed out that I was wasting time agonising over what I didnt have and not appreciating what I did have. I felt so sad that I was taking what I DID have for granted. Friends, family, a roof over my head, food in my tummy, a job.......so much to be grateful for