okay I'm totally insulted ugh!
ali106
Posts: 3,754 Member
I needed to vent and I don't want to say anything to my hubby because he's just like, you look great and what do you expect your a mom now....sigh...he has never had a weight problem or issue so he really doesn't get it....but okay I had to say it to someone....am I being too sensitive????
we went out last night after work to meet some old co-workers who were in town....they brought their partners w/ them....so we are all talking I'm eating celery sticks and carrot sticks from the buffalo wings and not really drawing attention to me not pigging out on the apps....okay so one of them says, "oh what is w/ the rabbit food girl?!" so I said, "I love my veggies" and laughed it off, then he goes on to say to his partner...."omg before Ali had her kid she was sooo hot! I mean omg this girl was a knockout.....you should have seen her then....":embarassed: I mean I was like...aw that's sweet...hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now? I mean I never thought I was all that BELIEVE ME! and I think he was trying to be nice BUT it made me feel soooo low, I mean I'm trying so hard to get fit again and it just felt like omg....waste of time....because I obviously look like I've really let myself go! sigh....
ugh I hope to God this does not sound vain in anyway, I am trying to lose weight mainly to be healthy so I can be here as long as I can for my son....that is bottom line top priority whatever you want to call it...if I look better and feel better great...I mean we all want to look good right....so why did this hurt my feelings so much???
Idk....am I being too sensitive...I didn't say anything I just kind of smiled and stopped eating...felt subconscious and then left not too long after....it basically sucked LOL
sigh thanks for letting me vent it here...so great to have a place to say things like this...
hugs!
Ali
we went out last night after work to meet some old co-workers who were in town....they brought their partners w/ them....so we are all talking I'm eating celery sticks and carrot sticks from the buffalo wings and not really drawing attention to me not pigging out on the apps....okay so one of them says, "oh what is w/ the rabbit food girl?!" so I said, "I love my veggies" and laughed it off, then he goes on to say to his partner...."omg before Ali had her kid she was sooo hot! I mean omg this girl was a knockout.....you should have seen her then....":embarassed: I mean I was like...aw that's sweet...hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now? I mean I never thought I was all that BELIEVE ME! and I think he was trying to be nice BUT it made me feel soooo low, I mean I'm trying so hard to get fit again and it just felt like omg....waste of time....because I obviously look like I've really let myself go! sigh....
ugh I hope to God this does not sound vain in anyway, I am trying to lose weight mainly to be healthy so I can be here as long as I can for my son....that is bottom line top priority whatever you want to call it...if I look better and feel better great...I mean we all want to look good right....so why did this hurt my feelings so much???
Idk....am I being too sensitive...I didn't say anything I just kind of smiled and stopped eating...felt subconscious and then left not too long after....it basically sucked LOL
sigh thanks for letting me vent it here...so great to have a place to say things like this...
hugs!
Ali
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Replies
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I needed to vent and I don't want to say anything to my hubby because he's just like, you look great and what do you expect your a mom now....sigh...he has never had a weight problem or issue so he really doesn't get it....but okay I had to say it to someone....am I being too sensitive????
we went out last night after work to meet some old co-workers who were in town....they brought their partners w/ them....so we are all talking I'm eating celery sticks and carrot sticks from the buffalo wings and not really drawing attention to me not pigging out on the apps....okay so one of them says, "oh what is w/ the rabbit food girl?!" so I said, "I love my veggies" and laughed it off, then he goes on to say to his partner...."omg before Ali had her kid she was sooo hot! I mean omg this girl was a knockout.....you should have seen her then....":embarassed: I mean I was like...aw that's sweet...hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now? I mean I never thought I was all that BELIEVE ME! and I think he was trying to be nice BUT it made me feel soooo low, I mean I'm trying so hard to get fit again and it just felt like omg....waste of time....because I obviously look like I've really let myself go! sigh....
ugh I hope to God this does not sound vain in anyway, I am trying to lose weight mainly to be healthy so I can be here as long as I can for my son....that is bottom line top priority whatever you want to call it...if I look better and feel better great...I mean we all want to look good right....so why did this hurt my feelings so much???
Idk....am I being too sensitive...I didn't say anything I just kind of smiled and stopped eating...felt subconscious and then left not too long after....it basically sucked LOL
sigh thanks for letting me vent it here...so great to have a place to say things like this...
hugs!
Ali0 -
Whoa. . .that was rude. Was there alcohol involved. . .or was that just a big old foot in the mouth problem.
Since I"m in a really snarky place right now. . .maybe you should have replied. . ."hey, when was it you were hot?" "Because I don't remember?".
You are smokin' hot right now, because the hotness comes from within. :flowerforyou:0 -
tell him how you feel, it will only get worse if you don't0
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I think he WAS trying to give you a compliment, but it did come out more of an insult to you now. I defintely don't think you are being too sensitive, I think that would hurt a lot of people's feelings. Though keep in mind that I don't think he was trying to be mean, just had a moment of foot in the mouth. He probably felt really bad afterward, thinking man, that totally did not come out right. I can't count the number of times I have done something like that and then felt so bad afterward. Sorry that ruined your night!0
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You r doing great. Some people do not think before they speak.:mad: I know it was upsetting but know you r doing a great thing for you but most importand u r doing it for your son. He is what matters the most and to have you around for a very long time(till he is like 90)
is what you need to think about. I hope as the day goes on you can let the remark go and focus on you and your son. You have a great day. Keep up the good work.:flowerforyou: 0 -
We know that true beauty isn't how we look, but since he was talking about your physical appearance I just want to say, I saw your photos and you are still absolutely beautiful. He probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, just didn't think or is too dumb to realize how it would make you feel. I understand cause something similar happened to me one time. My husband was in the military and had a bunch of the young single guys over one night. A few were looking around and saw our wedding picture and told me, "Wow, you use to be really beautiful." I know they meant it as a compliment, but really, "used to be?" and what am I now chopped liver?
You'll probably feel better about it later, or if you want - use it for motivation. You are really close to your goal. Great job.:flowerforyou:0 -
He probably didn't mean it the way he said it, but what a doofus. :noway:0
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I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it came out. And it also likely had more to do with weight or anything..... You're a mom now..... People think of you differently when you're a mom than when you're a single woman. You dress differently, act differently and have different priorities. That said, I still would have taken offense....... lol and I would have mouthed off to him too...... cause that's just how I roll LOL :laugh:0
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He was trying to make conversation, fine... but what a ****!!!
"JERK" - had to find a new word, this program didn't like my first one
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LOL...omg I absolutely love you guys!!!!!!!
thanks so much for responding and already making me feel better....its amazing what having people who can understand will do for your mood!!! big hugs!
and omg thanks for making me laugh too!!! I needed it!!!
hugs,
Ali0 -
Who cares what he said? YOUR heart is in the right place....sounds like he was out of his mind! I don't know one woman who is a mother who has the EXACT same body as she did before her child(ren). I know it isn't true for me, but (and I know you agree with me) I wouldn't trade my babies for my pre-baby body. Sounds to me like this guy hasn't grown up yet. Unfortunately, we grow up and others are still stuck in their childish mindsets. How's he looking these days? You are still BEAUTIFUL. Now you're getting healthier. GL and don't let that flippant comment deter you in any way. <<<<<Big hugs.>>>>> :flowerforyou:0
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I agree with Viviakay......it was very rude, but you shouldn't let it get you down. I think you should talk to your husband about it too. My husband says the same thing "You've had my kids, I love you anyway." Which is nice to know that they love you as a person, not a piece of meat......however, after I had kids my husband stopped smacking my butt for random reasons or groping me, and as stupid as it sounds I missed it! And it made me wonder if I turned him on anymore, so that is part of my motivation now, and it's working! And believe it or not I don't think they realize the change in the way they treat you affects you. Just remember, you're not married to that other guy, (and if you were I'd tell you to get out...lol) and in the end his opinion of your hotness rating doesn't matter. Before or after having kids. Get healthy for yourself, your kids, your husband and as defeating as a comment like that is, use it to motivate you, not drag you down. If you were there once you can get there again, and you have a great support team here to help you wade through the BS. Good luck and don't give up!!!0
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I would have been upset too Ali.
I guess people have stopped to think before they actually open their pie hole.
Girl, YOU ARE HAWT!!!!!!!!
If I were you, I would have made a smart *kitten* remark right back.
I know.. 2 wrongs don't make a right but sometimes you have to give them a taste of their own medicine.
He was just trying to be the funny guy.. you know there's always one of "those" in the group.
I'm sure the others thought he was out of line.
~Joanna:flowerforyou:0 -
that is a very insenstive thing for ANY person to say. You are taking it the same way most any of us would! Chin up!0
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I would have looked at him and been like "Hello! I'm sitting RIGHT here! How does your foot taste?"
What a jerk! Did he just think you were going to be like "Yeah, you should have seen me! I don't know what the hell happened!?!?!"
I can't stand people like that... it's like they have no filter at all!!!0 -
I guess I am being too negative - you should have said "You think I was hot then... Wait til you see me in a couple months!!!" O' and "How does your foot taste?"0
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You said it right the 1st time FitKB :laugh:
~Joanna:flowerforyou:0 -
<smak> I have been there b4....I would let him know how his "words" made you feel....Oh and tell him he can have (birth) the kids next time....:laugh:
zen!:bigsmile:0 -
hey wait a freakin' minute what am I like a big o' bunch of nasty now?
I almost died laughing when I read this line. Seriously, I know what you mean. My family talks about when I was pretty when I was a teen. I'm like "WHEN I WAS???" But I know what they mean, foot in mouth!
Just keep working at it, and then you can flounce your new butt in front of this guy and think, "In your face, jerkwad!"0 -
Hey, it's not easy on the body when YOU'RE CREATING A HUMAN!
Tell him that he can comment on how you "use to look" when he pops out a watermelon through his butt!
hehehe!
j.k. He's a man. Period. They don't think.
:laugh:0 -
I checked out your profile pics, and you are, without a doubt, HOT RIGHT NOW!!!
With that said, is HE aware that HE was once younger, and fitter, and has undoubtedly become less attractive? Who the h--- is he?
I can relate - on embarking on this "diet" a male friend of my husband's said, "You will be smoking hot when you lost the weight" - what a jack---! Was I heinous with 20 or 30 extra pounds? So rude.
Don't sweat it - you look great, and remember what Gloria Steinem says about how women could get so much accomplished, and be so powerful if we weren't always distracted by weight, dieting, appearance, etc.
:flowerforyou:0 -
You look great! You are a beautiful woman.
I honestly think it was an unintentional insult. Sometimes, people say stupid things without first thinking how it sounds. It probably was supposed to be a "compliment"...but came out REALLY wrong!! LOL!
Don't let it get to you. Just make the age old comment of "I may be overweight, but I am doing something about it and I am beautiful no matter what......what can YOU do about yo face???" LOL!0 -
I like the "How does your foot taste?" response. He really should think through what he is going to say! I agree that the difference between single and motherhood would have an effect on how a male friend might perceive your 'hotness', after all, you are taken and he knows your husband, so that alone takes you off the market and removes his ability (for some men) to look at you in that way. He really said it wrong though... Hopefully he is a little more successful in articulating his comments with his wife!
I also agree that you should talk to your husband about it- that way he can tell you how sexy you really are.0 -
ali ali ali-you should know that men (not all) talk a lot faster than they think. Sometimes we need to do the same with them. Be honest with him and let him know that he needs to think a bit faster.
You are a beautiful woman and from your pictures..you look amazing. Keep up the good work and remember-If you are happy with yourself-that is all that matters.0 -
Men are so bad with words. It seems like no matter what kind of compliment they give you its always going to have another way to take it.
But I guess, it is what it is. He is what he is (idiot). And you are what you are (STILL HOT!)
I'm not sure how I would've handled the conversation. I like to think that I could have some quick smartass rebuttal to put him back in his place, but I probably would've just given him the "I hate you, you are ridiculous" stare.
Anyway, no worries. If I look as good as you do now after having a child, I will be darn skippy happy! (even though it will be an extremely long time from now...)
:flowerforyou:
:flowerforyou:0 -
QUE MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ali, you probably know that word) You know what I am thinking? I think he had the hots for you and since you are with somebody else he is just jealous :laugh: :laugh: And talking about guys that dont think before they speak!!! Many yrs ago, but I have not forgotten it, MY husband told me I was average looking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now he is very conscious that I do get a lot of attention everywhere we go...So, who had the last laugh!!!! One time at a restaurant he was asked if me and my daughter were his daughters!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:0
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I would have felt the same way that you expressed......I am sensitive about my weight.
After looking over your profile...YOU ARE STILL A KNOCK OUT! I don't care what size you are.....you are shapely and gorgeous. I like the comment about "how does your shoe taste?" I am glad you came to the message boards with what happened. My mom is the worst to nag me about losing weight. My heart just literally hurts everytime she drops the "you were so beautiful before you got heavy" comments.
Anyway, I am here, I am going to keep journaling and learning from my dietary slip ups, pick myself up and over the long haul, I will attain my weight loss goals. Okay, I know this was about you and I turned it into me........I could really feel the sting of the comments made to you!0 -
I think you need to bring that to his attention, I would have slapped my husband for saying that. how embarrasing I dont blame you for feeling hurt.:flowerforyou:0
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Uggggggghhhhhh.....your foot, his a*s, they should meet sometime!
For the record, I think you look great the way you are. But the only opinion that matters is yours. Do what you do, girl, and don't let the ramblings of an oblivious moron keep you down!0 -
You know what I am thinking? I think he had the hots for you and since you are with somebody else he is just jealous
Ali... this is the first thing I thought too.
You are beautiful -- inside and out. Don't let anyone tell you anything different!
Kelly 0
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