Am I sending the wrong message to my son?

Not at all! I think he just needs to understand that you are overweight, he is not. Tell him that you are trying to be more like him... because he is at a healthier weight than you are. If anything you are setting a much better example by losing the weight and getting healthy. I'm sure he is just confused.

He's likely getting the awareness at school. At least in Texas the elementary schools really stress healthy choices and proper exercise. My boys have also asked if they are fat, I just told them no - they are perfect, and dropped it. They haven't brought it up again.

Good luck.

Instead of stressing about it, make it into the perfect opportunity to learn about healthy eating and activity together!! As a couple others said, make it VERY clear to him that this is more about health than getting skinny. I think more kids need to learn these skills from their folks anyway so I love that this gives you a chance to do that. Take him grocery shopping with you and teach him why you choose the things you do. And definitely encourage him to be active and start doing lots more together. Sit-ups and push-ups are only a part of what he could be doing. Go for walks/hikes, play games, sign him up for sports teams if he's into that, etc.

My 4.5 yr is the same way. I have told her that i am trying to get healthier like her. (she eats practically nothing but veggies). She patted her tummy and asked if she needed to watch her calories and i said definitely not! You are perfect just the way you are. But I explained why there were no more chips/cookies in the house. That I was trying to get healthier so I could play with her more. She still asks sometimes but I just keep saying the same thing over and over.

Your son looks perfectly healthy to me I raised two boys and I sure miss them @ that age.

I think that you are doing a fine job with him. Sadly, kids have to deal with being called fat as early as kindergarten now. Just reassure him that he is perfect. Tell him that you are trying to be more healthy just like he is.

Kids are so resilient and they can get focused on something for a few days and then it's suddenly gone. Just reassure him, love him and support him like you are doing. He'll be just fine. And you aren't doing anything wrong that I can see, just setting a good example for your kiddos.

I think kids at that age maybe don't really understand what "fat" really is. They just hear a lot about it and hear that it's not good to be fat. My 6 year old step son says he's fat all the time (which just like you're son, he is not!) and we correct him and tell him that he isn't fat. I think he just really doesn't understand what it really means to be fat. I think what you are doing is setting a GREAT example for your son by learning to eat better and move more which of course he will pick up on as well. You are giving him a great start to a healthy life! Exactly my motivation for wanting to be a healthier me. I"m hoping by the time he is old enough to understand, eating healthy and moving will just be a way of life for him and he won't think anything of it! Keep up the good work mama!

My 7, almost 8 year old, says it too. No fat at all, but his tummy sticks out on occasion after a big meal I just tell him we need to eat healthy and exercise to be healthy. He loves to walk and jog with me and is very active. Just kids being kids. and I don't think 10 push ups and sit ups is too much for a 7 year old, it gives them the idea of being active without over doing it.

They get the message that fat is bad really early. At my sons 5th birthday party (hes nearly 14 now and skinny as a rail) the restaurant served a hot kids buffet after 2 hours in the soft play area. I heard 2 of his female class mates talking. Here is how the conversation went

Girl 1 - Im not eating potato wedges, I need to lose weight
Girl 2 - yeah you have a big belly (she didn't)
Girl 1 - I think I have big hips too
Girl 2 - Have you tried slimfast?

FFS - these girls were 5!!!!

I do talk about calories at home. I mean it to be a conversation between my husband and I. But little ears do hear. My 13 year old son asked about the calories in an item. I told him that he is still growing. Calories for him are not the thing to look at. He needs more than we do to keep his body going. I told him the important thing for him to look at is whether or not he is eating more healthy food than junk food (their vice around here) and whether or not he is exercising. He mentioned my kind of exercising. I told him that's not what I meant at this age. He should be out playing more than sitting in front of video games. Doing both is okay but being active is healthy. We've had several long talks about what it means to be healthy and while I'm working on calories and losing weight, what I'm really doing is learning to eat the right kind of foods, other foods in moderation, be more active and be more healthy in general. That's the whole point.

Now that kind of conversation might be a bit deep for a 5 year old, but the point is stressing the health part of it and only in small bits. Teach him healthy habits. Now when I see any of them do something healthy, I focus on that and show them that's a great way to take care of your body.

But no he is not fat. He is a growing boy.

I'm trying to get them to focus more on that than the losing weight part. I love that I'm getting stronger. I love that I can eat a variety of foods but I'm not eating all junk anymore. I love that I'm drinking more water which is better for my body. I love that I can now run sprints with my youngest and do some rock climbing to the top of the waterfall. It's about being fit. It's about being healthy. I want them to understand that. For my 9 year old, he loves junk too much but he is great at playing and being active. So I praise him when I see him making positive choices. An apple was a great snack choice to make. Do you want to share an orange with me? I love your choice of a school snack today. That makes your body strong and healthy. You beat me on how many chin ups you can do. Wow, I can't believe you can do all those tricks on ice skates. That's fantastic. You must have practiced! I love that his coach assigns them "homework" for the holidays and it is always stuff like go outside and play (ie, roller blade, skateboard, swing, etc.). I also have started making our weekends more active as a family. I want them to see that this is a healthy way to interact, have fun, etc. and it is good for your body. I don't want them to focus as much on the DvD's, etc. but if they want to challenge me to a push up contest (and win every time), I'm not denying it.

But I too worry about their developing self-image. We have to be conscious of what we do and how little ears pick up these things, unfortunately. But it can be a teachable moment.

Here's how I see it, your son obviously isn't over weight. I don't think I'd tell him to exercise. Maybe tell him he should eat more vegetables, though most kids wouldn't like that. I'd also sit down with him and explain the difference between being overweight and being a healthy kid. Give him the extreme examples. Overweight would mean he couldn't breathe when playing, a healthy kid breathes fine when playing and has lots of fun. Overweight would mean his belly hangs over his pants and he can't move too fast, a healthy kid's stomach may stick out a little when they breathe in but that's just air, not fat, and healthy kids can run and jump and swim with no problems. He will get the point, he's the healthy kid, not the overweight kid.