Need Advice from someone with kids!

janahc09
janahc09 Posts: 12
in Introduce Yourself
There might not be anyone else in my situation or who have gone through the same thing, but I'll try anyway...

My husband and I have a 19, almost 20, month old son. We are considering adding to our family. I have about 24 pounds to lose before I will feel comfortable even trying for another child. That would put me at 180 pounds. This isn't really a question, so much as just asking for another opinion..Would I wait until I am at my goal weight (135)? I told my husband that it would take me atleast another year to get to my goal weight and he said he's not sure he wants to wait that long to have another baby. Do I wait until I get to 180 and get pregnant, then lose the baby weight, then get to my goal weight from there? Or do I wait until I'm already at my goal weight, get pregnant, lose the baby weight, then just work on maintaining? Any input is appreciated! Thanks!
«1

Replies

  • pfarley68
    pfarley68 Posts: 83 Member
    There is no wrong answer. What is your priority? I could go either way, there's logic in losing the weight now and then getting pregnant and also understandable to have your second baby and then lose baby weight. If you do decide to get pregnant now, I would keep using MFP to track food and not diet, but make sure your not gaining unnecessary weight. God Bless.
  • Ness8411
    Ness8411 Posts: 44
    you 'll have to make that decision for yourself.

    I decided to track my calories and drink my 8 cups of water when i get pregrant again.
    Personally, I am not waiting for my goal weight of 135. 5"2/150(currently).

    you eat about 1500 to 1700 cals/ day + walking 3 x /week. I believe that you might actually continue to lose weight or at least not gain 40lbs like I did the first time
  • lforner46
    lforner46 Posts: 103 Member
    What about a compromise? Lost 12 pounds and get pregnant in 6 months??
  • surfteam1689
    surfteam1689 Posts: 73 Member
    That's great! Have you spoken to your doctor about what your caloric intake *should* be when you do get pregnant? Remember, you can net down to whatever your doctor says. For example, if your doctor says you *should* be eating 2500 calories, you can still eat a little more or less and net down to 2500 calories. The kind of food diet you do will also help speed up or slow down the fat burning. Doing some exercise will probably be good for the baby anyway. AND, even if you gain a lot of weight, with this website, you KNOW you will be able to lose it. Children are a blessing anyway! :-)
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    I wouldn't think waiting would be necesary. You are in the habit of healthy eating now, which is great for pregnancy. Shoot after I had my babies I breastfed and the weight melted off!
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    For me, I had to lose the baby weight before I'd get pregnant again. I gained 105lbs (yikes!) with my first baby, lost it in about 7 months, then got pregnant immediately. Just make sure (if you lose it first), that you keep your healthy lifestyle as a priority through your second pregnancy. Track your calories and continue exercising at the same level of intensity. I was climbing up on the stair climber at 8 months pregnant.
  • Ness8411
    Ness8411 Posts: 44
    For me, I had to lose the baby weight before I'd get pregnant again. I gained 105lbs (yikes!) with my first baby, lost it in about 7 months, then got pregnant immediately. Just make sure (if you lose it first), that you keep your healthy lifestyle as a priority through your second pregnancy. Track your calories and continue exercising at the same level of intensity. I was climbing up on the stair climber at 8 months pregnant.

    on the second pregrancy how much weight did you gain/lose?
  • thebunches
    thebunches Posts: 40
    It will be MUCH healthier to lose the weight first and get to your goal weight (or close), and THEN get pregnant. YOU will be healthier, BABY will be healthier...it's all around a win-win.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    I am in that exact same boat right now! I am no where near my goal weight but the more hubby and I have talked we don't want to wait any longer. So we are trying for baby #2 (my daughter will be 2 years old in June).

    One of our main concerns is my age, I just turned 30 in January and I want to be done having kids by 35. We haven't completely decided on having 2 or 3 kids, so I feel like I really shouldn't wait.

    Ultimately it is something you and hubby can agree on. So maybe not at your ultimate goal but something you are comfortable and something that fits more in with his time line he is thinking of?
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    For me, I had to lose the baby weight before I'd get pregnant again. I gained 105lbs (yikes!) with my first baby, lost it in about 7 months, then got pregnant immediately. Just make sure (if you lose it first), that you keep your healthy lifestyle as a priority through your second pregnancy. Track your calories and continue exercising at the same level of intensity. I was climbing up on the stair climber at 8 months pregnant.

    on the second pregrancy how much weight did you gain/lose?

    I gained about 38lbs with a 9 and a half lb baby AND my boobs went from a D to an FF. I ate 2000 calories a day during the first trimester (doctor approved) and 2300 after the first trimester.
  • Elizaj85
    Elizaj85 Posts: 158 Member
    I agree with what been said in regards to you need to listen to your body and what's best for you but what I will say is (from my personal experience)
    With my daughter I blew up awfully but with my son I was determined not to so I read all about pregnancy nutrition an got the facts, talked my program over with my midwife (weight watchers/slimming world actually do a pregnancy diet here in the UK) and i exercised every day of my pregnancy even if it was a 20 min walk just round the roads. I gained a stone an half (21lbs) an because he was a big boy and I fed him myself (breast) I lost a stone (14lbs) in the first week.
    So there is hope an you don't have to balloon out I hope that helps :-)
  • archadtz
    archadtz Posts: 33 Member
    Our youngest is also 21 months, and we have battled (and are battling with the same issue). After our daughter (first), I waited to lose the weight (which was coming off)... but then I got really sick, and had to put my weight loss on hold for 6 months, went through surgery, recovered, then we decided time was ticking, we would try with some weight lost (I had lost about 10 lbs at this point). We couldn't conceive to save our lives. 7 years later, fertility drugs, and only a slight weight loss, our son was conceived. It was a healthy pregnancy until they last week when I had hypertension, but my body did ache terribly with him (the weight gain sucked!)
    Now, I am in the same boat again as we want to TTC #3, and am fearful of having to wait another 7 years, but I feel I need to lose this weight for my health, to reduce the pain when preg, and for our baby's health.
    Only you can make this decision... but look at the big picture. If you are ok with having a bigger age difference than you wanted, then maybe focusing on you is what's important for you right now...
  • lucillavea
    lucillavea Posts: 6
    My sister was in the middle of trying to drop some weight when she got pregnant again "accidentally". I referred her to a site called Crossfit Mom (crossfitmom.com). It is a site that has exercises for moms-to-be and breaks down the exercises by trimester and also by level (beginner, intermediate, advanced). It also has a lot of pics showing moms working it out with their baby bump. I showed it to my girls (20yo, 15yo) and encouraged them to stay fit even when they get pregnant. You may not lose weight... but it may help you stay healthy and fit during your pregnancy (which may mean less weight to lose when baby comes). I wish they had that site for me when I had my eight kids... Good luck!
  • hperowl
    hperowl Posts: 234 Member
    What does your doctor recommend? Will the weight gained during pregnancy put your/baby's health at risk? Would you have a higher chance of diabetes at your current weight? With my last child (I have 4) my Dr. suggested I try to loose about 15 pounds before I got pregnant again for that reason. All that being said, I think it's a personal decision and babies are always a blessing! Good luck to you!!!
  • XxXHillaryXxX
    XxXHillaryXxX Posts: 32 Member
    I didn't have this problem with mine...I was so sick during both pregnancies that within two weeks after giving birth both times I weighed 133 again (my starting weight). I had lost so much weight in the beginning that after I actually started to gain later in the pregnacy I only weighed 10-15 more than when I started. I would say though that if you want to have another one and you are healthy now, than just do it. You don't have to eat like you are on a diet but just eat healthy (you should be for the baby anyways) and continue to work out but do things that are safe during pregnancy (which is most stuff within reason). You will probably have an easier time getting the second set of baby weight off if you have an active pregnancy. Just my two cents! Good luck!
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
    I agree that you should get a medical opinion on it from a health perspective.

    From my experience with my three daughters, I would bring it down to two reasons to wait about 6 months before you get pregnant. If your first is closer to three years old you have a better chance of that child being more autonomous and able to amuse himself as opposed to needing you to give him things to do. He'll also be more likely to be supportive and helpful with a baby instead of just jealous and territorial. Also, if you use the time between now and then to really work the potty training, it'll make things so much easier. I know that sounds nit picky. But, there's a REALLY big difference between having one child in diapers and having two. With two - 20 or so changes a day - it feels like your whole life is about diapers.
  • claire7090
    claire7090 Posts: 67
    It is a personal choice - so much depends on your personal circumstances. But this is my experience..

    I was overweight when I fell pregnant with my first (approx 195lbs) and had alot of problems in pregancy but ended up with a very healthy baby boy (Thank God). I then lost about 30lbs through ill health and then had my second baby (I was approx 165lbsat the start of this pregnancy) and had a much healthier pregnancy. Both times I had gained about 8-10lbs once then baby was born so did not gain much non-baby weight if you know what I mean. I am sure that my extra weight was part of the problem with my first pregnancy and I am so glad I lost some weight before my second.

    My youngest is now 5 and last summer I decided it was 'me time' - my weight had crept back to 177lbs and I knew I was not as fit as I had been. Now down to 147lbs and here I wish to stay (I am not aiming for the super skinny I just want to be healthy). BMI is currently at about 23.7 but was over 30 when I fell pregnant the first time.
  • lsgordon02143
    lsgordon02143 Posts: 37 Member
    I think you should eat moderately during your pg (get pg whenever you like), and keep exercising. Then definitely bf on demand and for a long time (exclusively 4-6 months then with solids after that for at least two years or as desired, per the World Health Organization). This should keep you on track just as though you were "dieting" the whole time. You will be eating more, but you will also be expending more calories. Of course, IANAD. :) But I do have three kids and followed this advice. My sense is that younger age of pg makes for easier pg/labor/delivery/mothering, at least physically!
  • MaddiJoseph
    MaddiJoseph Posts: 117 Member
    I'm hoping to get pregnant with my second when my son is a year to a year and half. I have a goal in mind, but for me it's all about developing healthier habits and being closer. Even at my higher weight (I was 208 when I got pregnant with my son) I had a very healthy pregnancy, but I don't want to be so high next time. I felt like a whale at full term! My goal is 140 and I hope to hit that in another year, but if I get pregnant again around between december and then, then I'll make due knowing that I have healthier habits and I can track my food here at a doctor approved calorie count and hopefully not overgain this time. It's a personal choice but for me having my family in close to the timeframe that I want it is more important to me, as long as baby and I will be healthy.
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    I had the same concern with my last child. I consulted with my OBGYN about my concerns and she advised me to try to lose some weight before trying (I lost 8 lbs before conception) and once I was pregnant to work diligently to manage my weight gain. I ate a healthy diet, drank only water, tea and skim milk, did moderate exercise....mostly walking and elliptical throughout my pregnancy. Thankfully, I only gained 15 lbs during that pregnancy, which is good enough gain for an overweight woman.

    I strongly recommend that you start now to transition to a healthy, active lifestyle to help prevent complications during your pregnancy. I hate it when women say they can't workout when they are pregnant. There a lot of benefits to exercising during pregnancy, especially during labor (I know because I went without epidural or anything). As for waiting until you lose weight; that is solely up to you.
  • jakidb
    jakidb Posts: 1,010 Member
    There is no wrong answer. What is your priority? I could go either way, there's logic in losing the weight now and then getting pregnant and also understandable to have your second baby and then lose baby weight. If you do decide to get pregnant now, I would keep using MFP to track food and not diet, but make sure your not gaining unnecessary weight. God Bless.

    I agree--very wise advice
  • grayprae
    grayprae Posts: 109 Member
    I think it should be whatever you are comfortable with. I am trying to get down to 145 before i get pregnant again My husband has give me a year to accomplish this. We made this comprise together so we will see how it goes.
  • perfect10isha
    perfect10isha Posts: 200 Member
    It's your decision, but I can tell you what I did. After I had my first I knew we would be trying for a second within 2 years so I decided to lose most of the baby weight, but not get bent out of shape if I didn't. I still had an extra 10 lbs on when I get pregnant with my second. I had decided that after baby #2 I would take control of my fitness and health and be 100% committed. I didn't like the idea of getting my body back only to "lose" it again with a pregnancy. But every woman is different. Of course, the better shape you are in going in, the easier I'm sure it would be to lose. For me personally, it was psychological. I wanted to know my body was all mine again before I whipped it back into shape. And thats what I've done. I'm currently working on being in the best shape of my life. I'm pretty sure we are done having children, but right now I"m focusing on being fit and healthy. When I was in those "child bearing years" I focused on my fertility and pregnancy.
  • jonesyx6
    jonesyx6 Posts: 46 Member
    It is up to you, but personally, I think that I would feel really depressed gaining ANY weight, even a healthy weight gain, while pregnant after having spent so much time and energy making sure that I lost it all.

    I was 180 when I got pregnant with my second and I actually "lost" weight at first....not because I was trying, but I was eating better and drinking the water that I needed, etc. NOTE, it was not a significant amount that I lost...it was more rearranged. SO the doc didn't feel that it was an issue because my child was developing well, and was obviously getting what she needed.

    So, go with what your family goals are...Good luck!
  • neaneawy
    neaneawy Posts: 146 Member
    I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you what happened with me. I am 5'9" and the top of my healthy BMI is 170. I got pregnant with #1 weighing about 175-180 and not very fit. I gained around 35 lbs. No complications, but the end of the pregnancy was very difficult. Got pregnant with #2 sooner than I wanted. #1 was 12 mo. and I was down to about 200 which is borderline obese for my height. This time I only gained 20 lbs and the pregnancy was much easier on me. No health problems at all, but the Dr. did watch carefully for gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. #3 also came a long sooner than we would have liked. #2 was 10 mo. and I was back down to 198. Watched my weight gain again and put on 20 lbs. Dr. again watched carefully for gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, but all was good. My weight has fluctuated the last year and half. I got up to around 220 after Christmas and decided enough was enough. We're done having babies and #3 is sleeping all night, so no more excuses about being too tired. I'm down to 179 currently and I'm hoping to get down another 20 lbs.

    I think you have to look at how relatively healthy you are currently. If you're having weight related health issues currently you probably should lose the weight first. What's your BMI, your weight alone doesn't really tell anything. I would definitely continue tracking while you're pregnant to maintain a healthy calorie intake. Your Dr. should help you determine what is good for your body. Be careful though. When I got pregnant with #3 my first appt. was at a military hospital, they are VERY focused on BMI. The nurse told me with my BMI right at obese I shouldn't gain ANY weight. She didn't give me an offer for help on how to do this, jut don't gain any weight. I think this is very dangerous comment to make to a pregnant woman. Not gaining weight is possible on a very good diet, which I don't think most people are capable of without goot nutritional guidance. Improperly restricting yourself while pregnant could starve the baby af proper nutrients.
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    I am in the same situation. I have lost 90 pounds and still have another 80 to lose but hubby and I decided we want another baby and we're not going to wait another year or 2 because I have some female issues and if we don't do it now, we may never be able to. So we are currently TTC our 5th and final child and I am continuing to eat healthy and exercise, and will continue to do so when I get pregnant. And there is no reason you can't be pregnant and still lose weight as long as you are doing it in a healthy way!
  • saramea
    saramea Posts: 49 Member
    Ask you Dr. Pregnancy is hard enough, why risk additional complications that can be related to weight (pre-E,diabetes, etc.) Personally, Id try to drop the weight. Youre husband does not have a choice but to wait, unless he figured out a way to get himself knocked up, in which case you are off the hook either way.
  • MammaSki2Boys
    MammaSki2Boys Posts: 38
    It's all up to you. I have 2 boys and they are 3 years apart and I think that is perfect. I only had 1 in a diaper at a time. I say if you want another child then go for it. I gained 60 lbs with my first child and 75 with my second but with hard work and dedication you can get back to your pre-pregnancy weight.
  • neegeeikwa
    neegeeikwa Posts: 2
    I would wait. I had gestational diabetes & it is no joke. If you can hold off it might be easier having a much older first child too.
  • julieh391
    julieh391 Posts: 683 Member
    I just had my third and last baby, and I have to say I am SO EXCITED to be done having babies and get my body back for good. If I were you I'd get the breeding done then really get to a goal weight without worries of having to lose it again after pregnancy. But obviously that's just me and probably not what the majority would say.

Categories