One hurtful comment was all it took

iCupCakeNZ
iCupCakeNZ Posts: 228 Member
edited December 20 in Motivation and Support
Hey MFP users :)

Okay so I've been a member since December last year but have only recently started toget my A into G,
My Current weight is 97.2kg (214lbl) and my GW is 60kg but my UGW would be 55kg (121lbl) I'm 5ft'2 and twenty years old and I want to know how I can really shred these pounds because I'm at the stage in life where I'm
So unhappy that I can't even look in the mirror, I shower in the dark just so I don't have to look at my self and be grossed out. I know it won't happen over night but I am willing to put the mileage in to get my goal
Weight. And after recent comments from a rather hurtful person in my class I really want to show her!
What I'm made of and that saying things like "oh you'd have to be blind to take her home" behind my back will be shoved right back at her, so please MFP people, can you help me?

Feel free to add me xø
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Replies

  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    That girl sounds like a real... well.. I can't say it on here :grumble:

    Feel free to add me! I will help you out best I can!
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    blind? I would have to be blind to not, see how lovely you are. It is one thing to no like your current position, it is another to stand still and do nothing about it. You're on the right track, :)

    I am far from perfect, but I will gladly help how I can
  • iCupCakeNZ
    iCupCakeNZ Posts: 228 Member
    That girl sounds like a real... well.. I can't say it on here :grumble:

    Feel free to add me! I will help you out best I can!
    I know what you mean, worse part is she's 45... And thank you xø Ill add you now :3
  • Susabelle64
    Susabelle64 Posts: 207 Member
    You can do anything you set your mind to! And the awful comment? what a wretched person!!! Head up, chest out, walk tall and take it one day at a time. Do this the smart way and you will get to your goal!

    P.S. You are beautiful.
  • KetoBella
    KetoBella Posts: 141 Member
    Sometimes getting mad is the thing that gets you motivated. Mostly it is getting happy that will keep you motivated. Challenge yourself to take this opportunity to re-educate yourself and to practise new habits. You can begin by promising yourself you will track your meals and snacks even if you don't like that they didn't end up being perfect. You will learn from each day and you will be aware of things you can do better.

    We are all going through the same process, this is a community that will inspire and support you. Welcome.
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    My first thing to say is to do it for you, not her. Show yourself what you are made of. The first thing you need to change is your mindset. Shower with the lights on. Look in the mirror past the weight and see your positives. Start each day noticing something good about yourself. Remember to take it slow and enjoy every new strength, goal and non-scale victory you have along the way.

    Lastly, the girl sounds like an idiot and no matter how much weight you lose she is still going to be an idiot. She'll always have a comment. That's why I say do it for you.
  • Sharmender
    Sharmender Posts: 133 Member
    I'm sorry that that happened to you. But take this energy and put it in losing that weight!
    I had a bad experience what made me lose weight too. But now I've reached my goal weight I'm glad it happened.
    Good luck :)
  • cyndispot
    cyndispot Posts: 135
    There are people in the world who bring themselves up by on the backs of others. And the thing is as long as we stay bent over they can keep climbing. But once you stand up - for you and on your own - then they can't climb anymore and they start falling. People see them for their true colors because you and your colors are no longer in their shadow.

    So turn on the lights and if the mirror is there it's not going to judge you. And take a good look because as you learn to stand taller - you will want to notice the changes that your body is going through. I started losing when i hit 245 and now that I'm at 196, I'm glad I know where I started and that I can see those differences. Sometimes those are the things that keep me going when I'm having a rough day.

    If you are still interested in friends, let me know. I would be happy to help you as much as I can.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I'm here for you if you need any support!
  • helenmc40
    helenmc40 Posts: 117 Member
    You can and will do this. Not to shove back in her face, but so you can stand tall and know that you yourself did this!! Then you can shove it in her face and maybe shove her too!!!

    Exercise, start walking more and track your food. Feel free to add me if you are looking for friends.

    And one last thing, don't listen to her. Start believing in yourself and amazing things will happen!! :):smile:
  • zml_mom
    zml_mom Posts: 270 Member
    i'm sorry someone would say hurtful things like that-

    you can do this, it just takes time- it took me just under a year to loose 110 lbs and another 6 months after that to loose another 13

    my goal weight was 160 (from 270) and I am currently 147
  • coraliethomas
    coraliethomas Posts: 336 Member
    Girl! I joined for the saaaame reason! Christmas dinner we were all sitting around the dining room table and enjoying a good dinner, I asked for the mashed potatoes to be handed to me, and my mother in law said "Dont pass them to her, that chair is about to crack as it is..."

    And that was it.... my inner "Oh hell no, I'll show you" was awoken. If you need a friend, hit my up with an invite!
  • DrJackson6
    DrJackson6 Posts: 156 Member
    I think you are trying to lose weight for the wrong reason. You can not and I repeat can not lose weight for anyone else or to show anyone else. You have to lose this weight for you. The person who said that obviously has some self esteem issues of her own and is making herself feel better by making you feel worse. You have some options: Standup to her or ignore her. Either way you can only lose weight for you.

    I say forget her and focus on getting your mentally together. You can do this, but like I said, it has to be for you and only you. You need to become mentally strong because fat or skinny she will continue to pick on you until you stand up to her.

    Now, pray about it, get yourself together, and finally do it for you! You can do it!!! :)
  • HotAshMess
    HotAshMess Posts: 382 Member
    Use your anger to motivate you!!!!

    And you know...I used to let people saying hurtful things as an excuse to be sad and depressed and eat something rich and fatty and delicious. But I'm going to tell you something that took me a long time to learn....you've gotta learn to let the hurtful things that people say go, slide off you like water off a duck's back, because if you let it bother you and eat at you....you're letting it punish you, you're letting it preside over you and YOU ARE GIVING THAT PERSON POWER! And I guarantee you, the person who said it...isn't letting it bother them at all. Chances are, you don't even care about this person, why would you care about what they say, do or think if you don't care about them?

    Add me if you would like. Hang in there. Use your anger to motivate you. This is a great place to be!
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
    People like that have their own demons and image issues. She's just projecting her own insecurities on to a defenseless person. While it's great to have a motivator to get healthy... you really need to do this for yourself and no one else! Good luck!
  • brandimacleod
    brandimacleod Posts: 368 Member
    Wow! What a horrible girl. Ok. A few things...

    1. Never, ever be a meany like that. Sometimes getting our feelings hurt makes us a kinder, more compassionate person, and that is a GOOD thing! So make that the gift her cruelty gave you. Besides...karma has a way of handling jerks like her.

    2. Turn on the lights! You are a beautiful person! We are ALL beautiful people. (Well, except for the girl in #1...) because beauty is something that starts inside and works its way out. Beauty isnt a certain kind of nose, or color hair, or size chest, beauty is all of you, your strenghts, your flaws and your quirks.

    3. If you want to lose weight FOR YOU, then just do it. Log your food, exercise, and drink water. There is no magic formula really. I have a LOT of weight still to lose, and been losing now almost a year. I can tell you gains happen, bad meals happen, life happens. You just have to not quit.

    4. Eat lots and lots of fresh fruit and veggies. If you focus on eating 9 servings a day (which is a struggle for me I admit, but its fun to try) you will be so focused on what you need to eat, and how much, and you wont notice what you aren't eating, which is fast food and processed food. For example, plan your fruit and veggies first with each meal, then add carbs and protein. Make it a game.

    5. Get a heart rate monitor to monitor your burns accurately. MFP settings are often wonky with what they claim for burns. If you cant get one, just dont eat your exercise calories back!

    6. Give yourself a reward for every short goal met. I measure by lbs, and every 10 lbs I give myself a non-food reward. (Stop thinking of food as a reward btw - cake and cookies are not "attagirls" they are "fattagirls" I always say!) My rewards are new shoes (I am a shoe freak!) or a pedicure, or music downloads...just nice positive rewards.

    7. I know I am older than you...but feel free to add me if you want. I will be happy to help you with your meal planning and diary if you want!

    Have a great day...and remember...Karma will get that girl.

    Brandi
  • goddamnelectric
    goddamnelectric Posts: 85
    What a #*%@! (Fill that in however you like) Those comments stick with you FOREVER! I had an ex boyfriend in high school tell me I was "plump." My first thought was "you mean like a chicken is supposed to be?!"
    Anyway, anger is a great motivation. I always have my best runs when I'm pissed. And if you need more support, feel free to add!
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    First of all, if that's you in the avatar, then I agree with several others in this thread that you're beautiful and the freak in your class that insulted you has one or more of any number of mental issues.

    Now, why are you taking to heart the words of an idiot?

    If that type of interaction were to evoke any emotion, I would think it would be sympathy for the stupid wanker making 3rd-grade-mentality comments concerning someone about which she knows nothing.

    Puh-lease!

    Have a great day and keep the momentum.

    Hang in there with the grown ups and ignore the spattering of children's tantrums.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
    I have to admit, seeing the look of envy on the girl who has always been a beyotch to me was beyond satisfying. My rational mind knows I shouldn't care because she is just an awful person on so many levels. However, I really enjoyed my suck on this moment with her!
  • migoi357
    migoi357 Posts: 173 Member
    So, if I walked up to you while you were wearing a blue shirt and said "Nice red shirt you have on.", would your shirt turn red or would you believe me? Probably not. You would correctly observe that I possibly had some type of mental condition and start looking around for my keeper. Same thing applies to the dipstick in your class. When an untruth is uttered it doesn't magically become true...it's still an untruth. She's just a magpie chattering at the window. Do this for you...you're worth every bit of effort you make in getting to where you want to be.
  • Tristis
    Tristis Posts: 288 Member
    Wow - some people are so insensitive! You can add me if you like! :)
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    ALWAYS love yourself no matter what....when the chips are down, you're all you have. Add me if you like :flowerforyou:
  • Neahpata
    Neahpata Posts: 322 Member
    Let your haters be your motivators. The insensitive stuff people say sometimes gives you the extra motivation that you need to keep going.

    Judging by your avatar you are beautiful; the only person who is blind is the one who can't see that. Don't ever hate yourself or the way you look. Turn on the lights, look in the mirror, and accept yourself as you are now. Forgive yourself for whatever bad decisions you've made and resolve to live a healthy lifestyle from this point forward.

    Feel free to add me if you'd like.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
    ALWAYS love yourself no matter what....when the chips are down, you're all you have. Add me if you like :flowerforyou:
    When the chips are down, I also need more salsa.
  • seamaiden1000
    seamaiden1000 Posts: 76 Member
    '...Your will to be free is matched with love secretly,
    And talk will alter your prayer, somehow you find you are there...
    A season's wish will come true, All seasons begin with You...' Jon and Vangelis, I'll Find My Way Home

    Great song and track, deeply spiritual, mentoring, uplifting and motivating, find it and listen to it.

    Your journey is not just about weight loss, weight is only the physical symptom of what is blocking you at a deeper level...

    You are young with a whole lot of life experience ahead to give and to take. Dream yourself a big plan based on your individuality with love at its centre and work hard toward it. Celebrate every small achievement along the path you create and the layers of self doubt and loathing with transform into pearls of wisdom. Your body will recover as your mind is transformed and your soul finds its proper way forward.
    I say all this because I cannot help but feel that there is a lot more going on, the weight issue is skin deep....
  • desert_rhino
    desert_rhino Posts: 104 Member
    There's always something that pushes you past your "tipping point." You may very well look back on that hurtful comment as one of the best things that ever happened to you! You can do it!
  • BishopSmurf
    BishopSmurf Posts: 35 Member
    I read your story and want to help you. My wife and I are both on here. She will be a lot more help than i will as to how to do and track everything. I will be a good cheerleader.

    Please add me, and i know that i will be in your ear to help and support you along your way.

    You do need to take on this journey for yourself, not for anyone else. That said i see no reason not to use these hurtful comments and those who spew hate as motivation to get started.

    The hardest life is lifting your butt off the couch. Once you do that you are on your way. Learn what works for you, but don't get stuck not starting because you don't know where to start... start by moving, something is always better than nothing.

    Go get 'em!
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Hey hun I feel your pain.... I've been called a fat ***** lately by two people ....
  • Michellerawrrr
    Michellerawrrr Posts: 310 Member
    Take the pain and the anger you feel and tell it to flipp off!! When you workout push yourself as hard as you can and let go of the pain. Look in the mirror with the lights on and love yourself right now in this very moment! You may not like what you see and that's okay, eventually you will. Try to be greatful that your body is allowing you to do many things right now in this moment! :flowerforyou:
  • ravennyx
    ravennyx Posts: 40
    There are people in the world who bring themselves up by on the backs of others. And the thing is as long as we stay bent over they can keep climbing. But once you stand up - for you and on your own - then they can't climb anymore and they start falling. People see them for their true colors because you and your colors are no longer in their shadow.

    So turn on the lights and if the mirror is there it's not going to judge you. And take a good look because as you learn to stand taller - you will want to notice the changes that your body is going through. I started losing when i hit 245 and now that I'm at 196, I'm glad I know where I started and that I can see those differences. Sometimes those are the things that keep me going when I'm having a rough day.

    If you are still interested in friends, let me know. I would be happy to help you as much as I can.

    ^ This is a person of Great Wisdom ^
This discussion has been closed.

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